


The Hour

by WhoIsThisAgain



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders
Genre: And Roman is of Spanish descent, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Flirting in foreign languages, M/M, Patton and Damien are twins, Protective Siblings, Remy and Virgil are cousins, Slow Burn, Soulmate AU, Swearing in Foreign Languages, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, They're Russians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2019-05-29 10:05:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 45
Words: 119,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15070814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhoIsThisAgain/pseuds/WhoIsThisAgain
Summary: For as long as humans have lived, people believed that everyone has someone destined for them. When a person turns nineteen, their soul would be transferred into the body of their match. Hence, the term soulmate.In the modern day Florida, six boys began their journey in finding their beloved.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> My first ever Sanders Sides fic!!—really, my first ever writing project of any kind. Please give some feedback from the comments section! Kudos are appreciated.
> 
> Check out my new work (also Sanders Sides) called Father. You can find it [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16017953)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is soulmate? And, what is 'the hour'?

For as long as humans have lived, people believed that everyone has someone who is destined for them. Whenever a person turns nineteen, their soul will be transferred into the body of their match at midnight following their birthday. Hence, the term soulmate. They are only given one hour to make a note for their match that hints their existence. Those of older generations wrote poems. Some people chose to keep it simple by writing short notes. Once their souls are transferred back to their own bodies, people would find clues from their soulmates on how to find them.

This important hour when people would see their soulmate for the first time is dubbed  _the hour_. 

_The hour_ when you learn about your match.

_The hour_ when you make your existence known.

When a person turns nineteen, it has become a ritual for everyone to celebrate, since it is the time when those who have a soulmate will find their missing piece. Some didn't experience  _the hour_ right away, however. If a person has a match who is younger than them, they would have to wait until their match comes to age. Many of these people become pessimistic about their chances of having a soulmate because they didn't know their soulmate is younger.

There are many who believe this concept is how the universe bring people together from across the world. Others believe that these types of relationships are doomed to fail. And through the passage of time, **both** believes had been proven to be true.

There are pairs who are from different parts of the world. The universe urged them to travel the lands and seas to find a place for these people to settle their hearts. Other times, some pairs fall apart. As humans always do, they take advantage of each other and eventually rip their match apart. With that, their lives are ruined along with their soulmate's. However, more often than not, the universe are able to bring unlikely people together. That is how the universe weave the tangled strings of fate.

In the modern day of Florida, six boys began their journey in finding their beloved.

 


	2. Talks of Future and Excitement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton talks about his 'hour' with his brother

It was an average morning. Nothing out of the ordinary happened and as usual, the twins would get ready together in silence, with Patton’s occasional humming in the shower while Damien cooked breakfast for both of them. That day, they both had afternoon class at two in the afternoon, so they didn’t have any reason to rush in the morning. They went outside and walked to the coffee shop near campus. They would talk about nothing and everything, or sometimes they would just stay in silence, enjoying each other’s company. During the walk, as always, they would have random conversations. That morning was no exception.

“Have you ever think about the future? I mean your future, our future in general.” Damien asked, starting their usual chat.

“Well, I know I want to build my own vet clinic one day and safe all the puppies and kitties! I’ll spread a lot of _paw-_ sitivity.” Patton said with excitement. Damien gave a neutral face of displeasure in response to the pun, which Patton ignore completely. “I think, soulmates are the most exciting part of the future, though.”

Both of them had already had their _hour_  experience. Though Patton had it months earlier before Damien had his.

“How was it? Your _hour_ I mean. The last time we talked about this, I was half-asleep so I don’t remember much.”

“Hmm…”

 

November, last year 

Patton woke up on his bed. He wasn’t sure why he woke up. He sat up on the bed, staring at the wall opposite his bed. _‘Uh, why did I wake up?’_ He thought to himself, still half-asleep. Suddenly, he felt a dull pain at the back of his head. The pain grew and he started to feel dizzy, so he laid himself back down on the bed, closing his eyes, trying to go back to sleep.

For some reason, he felt the urge to open his eyes, so he did. Patton immediately noticed how different his surroundings was. _‘Am I hallucinating? Where am I? Maybe this explain that headache I had earlier?’_ He stood and looked out the window. Nothing unusual other than the fact that it’s not the view he usually see from his apartment. _‘Am I taller? Is there such thing as a ‘sudden growth spurt in your twenties’? Oh wait, am I in_ the hour _?”_

He looked around the room once again and spotted the phone on the bedside table. He picked up the phone and unlocked it with his—his soulmate’s—fingerprint. He checked his current location and breathed out in relief when he saw he was still in Florida, not far from his place. Once he realized he had entered _the hour_ , he began to feel excitement bubble up in his body and he couldn’t help but smile wide. He sat on the desk in the corner of the room and began writing a short note about himself to his soulmate. Well, he intended to write a small note but ended up with a short letter since he chose to write in full sentences.

 

_Oh goodness! It’s happening, I am so excited!_

_First things first, my name is Patton Harvey. I’m from Florida too! We can meet up easily then. I checked your phone, but don’t worry, I didn’t open anything personal. So I still don’t know your name until I see your note to me later._

_Anyways, I have a brother. We’re twins! He’s 8 minutes older than me. I’m 20 this year, 21 in January next year. This is a little exciting don’t you think? I mean, it is for me at least. I can’t wait until I can meet you in real life. I go to the Sanders University and I’m a veterinary student._

_I’m so excited right now and I’m trying hard not to make too much noises. I think I’ve said ‘I’m excited’ so many times by now. Yeah… that’s it about me I guess? I can’t think of anything else to add._

After he included his address and phone number, as well as other random information that he wanted his soulmate to know. He also added random doodles of hearts with a blue pen. After he’s done with that, he went to the bathroom to see what his match looked like. When he looked in the mirror, Patton paused for a moment, staring at his reflection. His soulmate was about three inches taller than Patton is, with dark ebony hair and icy blue eyes. He had prominent cheekbones, so sharp it looked like it can cut you open. Patton drifted his gaze lower to his torso. The t-shirt that he was wearing fits very well. Lean muscles in the arms and visible collarbones. Overall he was slim and a bit muscular.

_‘Oh wow, I could get used to this view.’_

He tore his gaze from the mirror and went out of the bathroom, sneaking another quick glance at the mirror. There was only a few more minutes left in his _hour,_  so he browsed through his soulmate’s phone.

When the dizziness from earlier came back, he closed his eyes again. When he opened them, he was back in his room. He let himself sit in silence on his bed, processing everything that just happened. After a few minutes, he bolted to his brother’s room with a sudden burst of energy to tell him what just happened. The next morning he found a small note containing information of his soulmate on his bedside table under his phone.

 

_Name: Logan Sharp_

_Age: 19_

_I am currently a student in the Sanders University, majoring in Astrophysics._

_We are also from the same area. I am not adding my address because… reasons._

 

With the addition of email address and phone number, Logan didn’t put any other information about himself.

 

Present time 

“It’s been almost a year, but we haven’t met yet.” Patton said, concluding his story. Damien listened to the story carefully the whole way to the coffee shop. “And! And we both go to the same university. But for some reason we never have the time to meet each other which is a little weird.”

“It’s nice that you could just see your soulmate since he’s nearby.” Damien finally said.

“Yep. Yours is so far away. Do you think you’ll ever visit him?”

“If I have the money I would totally fly there. I don’t though. You want to pay for my trip to Russia?”

Patton raised his brows quizzically in response. Damien furrowed his brows in return, an expression which says _‘what? Is it wrong for me to want to see them?!’_

“Just be patient, if you’re destined to be with them, you’ll find each other.” Patton said with a shrug.

“How am I supposed to be patient? The guy is _so hot_ , Pat.” Patton giggled at his brother’s words. He’d heard that statement from his brother so many times before. He pushed the door to the coffee shop open, ushering his brother in and then the door closed behind him as he entered the coffee shop, following his brother. Little did they know, that morning would not be as ordinary as they thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be posted soon! Kudos and comments are appreciated.


	3. Concerns and Unexpected Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan talked about his 'hour' and he is concerned.

Usually, Logan would complain about Roman’s exaggerated stories about ‘nonsense with a combo of drama’ as Logan put it. It doesn’t matter that Logan and Roman had known each other for years, Logan still couldn’t stand Roman’s theatrics. Especially, not right now. Logan had called his best friend last night to meet him at the coffee shop near campus, because “I need some… help… with something.”

“You? Mr. I-know-everything-about-everything, needs _my_ help? Oh, this should be good then.” Logan had groaned at the nickname during the phone call, but didn’t say much else.

And now, here they were, sitting in a coffee shop, a galaxy away from their initial topic of discussion with Roman re-telling his morning about how he was attacked by a stray cat with arms gesturing wildly. Logan was irritated. Very much so, but he couldn’t help but get lost in his thoughts with Roman’s booming voice as a background noise.

“Roman…”

“...and then the cat _jumped —_like, literally _launched at my face —_and just _scratched_ me everywhere like a maniac,”

“Roman.”

“You know how expensive this shirt is? You know how much _effort_ I put in the morning to perfect this magnificent look for all ladies, lords and non-binary royalty to admire? Plus, I-”

“Roman!” Logan quickly interrupted, his voice stern but kept his volume low.

“What,” Roman replied monotonously, annoyed that his story was interrupted. Rudely so.

“I asked you to come here, to help me with… annoying emotions and feeling and… _ugh_ I hate this.” Logan slumped his shoulders, one hand sifting through his hair.

“Gee, Logan. It’s just a soulmate. You know the concept of soulmates is stupid, right? You’re supposed to _fall in love_ with a stranger, it’s not going to work. Why do _you_ even care about all this anyway? You’re not one for romance and all things love.”

Logan paused. He pondered on Roman’s questions for a bit. It is sort of true that he was supposed to be a perfect match with a stranger. What if they’re not compatible. It is also true that he despised romance or emotions in general. So why does he care now?

“I didn’t. Care about soulmates I mean. But since I had my _hour_ , I felt differently about this whole thing. I couldn’t get this person out of my head. And then I realized that I actually _want_ this. That I would very much like to… grow old with someone?” Logan trailed off for a moment, starting to get lost in his thoughts again.

Roman was a little surprised. He never heard Logan talk with this much emotion mixed in his words before.

“How did it happen anyway? You never told me.”

“That’s because you never wanted to know.” Then, he began telling Roman about his _hour_.

 

November, last year 

Logan woke up with a start. _‘Why am I awake?’_ He checked his alarm clock and saw that it was midnight.

He thought maybe he felt dehydrated, so he went outside and had a glass of water. Feeling a little better than before, he went back to his room and laid back down on his bed. He slowly closed his eyes and try to go back to sleep.

He then felt a sudden pain in his head. Ignoring it, he groaned and shifted in his bed to get comfortable. However, he felt his bed is a bit off. Slowly, he opened his eyes again and was greeted by a very confusing sight. The wall on the right side of the bed that is usually covered with diagrams of space and galaxy posters is now decorated with little polaroid photos. The room also had a subtle glow from the fairy lights hung above the headboard. He stood and walked to the window opposite the bed.

 _‘Am I dreaming right now? If I am, the fact that I’m aware that this is a dream would mean this is a lucid dream. Unlikely, since I can remember I was awake a second ago.’_ Logan started to analyze his surrounding, as well as the state of his mind.

He looked down and realized that he looked different than usual. _‘Noting how different I look and the fact that I feel shorter than usual would mean I am not in my own body which means… I’m currently in_ the hour… _’_ He let the revelation sink in for a moment. _‘Yes, it would make sense since I just turn nineteen about twenty four hours ago. Am I still in Florida?’_ He walked to the bedside table and checked the location using the phone that he found there. _‘Affirmative.’_

He quickly wrote a very brief note with very limited information on a post-it note that he found in one of the bedside drawer.

 

_Name: Logan Sharp_

_Age: 19_

_I am currently a student in Sanders University, majoring in Astrophysics._

_We are also from the same area._

 

Logan was about to be done with the note without writing his address. Writing his address would mean that his soulmate could visit him easily. But he also don’t trust people with personal information that could put him in danger. So he put an additional sentence to justify his need of not putting his address.

 

_I am not adding my address because_

 

He paused. _‘Of course I’m not going to say that I don’t trust this person —well, that is true—that’s just rude.’ _

 

_Because… reasons_

 

After that he added his email address and phone number to the note. Done with the note, he looked around for a mirror to see what his soulmate looks like. He found a half-body mirror in the bathroom. As soon as he saw the reflection in the mirror, he noted the heterochromia right away. A warm honey color on the left and a cool grey on the right. He stood about three inches shorter than Logan himself and had subtle muscles in his torso, noticeable muscle-cut along the upper arms. Wavy brown hair, tousled from sleep and freckles scattered across the nose, cheek and bleeds over to the neck.

“Cute.” Logan said quickly. He immediately blushed after he realized that he said that out loud. [Of course, Logan didn’t tell Roman this part, or he will never hear the end of Roman’s teasing, which is both embarrassing and annoying.]

After that, he went out of the bathroom and looked at the clock hung on the wall near the living room. _‘I have about ten minutes left.’_ So, he decided to explore the house a bit. It is true that he didn’t like people —especially strangers—to know personal information about himself, but he couldn’t help but be a little bit hypocritical by snooping around in a stranger’s house. Yes, it’s his soulmate’s house, but they’re still a stranger to him.

Right next to the first bedroom—his soulmate’s bedroom—there was another room next to it, the door partly opened. He peeked inside and saw a sleeping figure facing the door. Logan was shocked at first seeing how similar this person looked to his soulmate. _‘Twins? That, or at the very least they are related,’_ Logan concluded in his head.

He went back to the room and re-read his note, double checking if he left out anything important. He then put the note on the bedside table under the cell phone. He sat on the bed again, waiting for the minutes to run out. He felt nervous all of a sudden. _‘I will have to meet this person one day. Oh no, I’m going to screw it up. I have the social abilities of a chicken nugget and I would have to speak to this person and_ actually _talk about important decisions and matters of the future. No, no, no, nononono-’_

His train of thought is interrupted by a sudden pain at the back of his head. The pain crawl its way to the front of his head. Once the pain receded, he opened his eyes that he didn’t realized he had closed and found himself back in his own room. He looked around and saw nothing unusual, aside from his desk lamp, which was turned in. He went to turn it off and saw a glimpse of a note from his soulmate written in bubble letters.

 _‘Nope! Not now.’_ He went back to bed and tried to sleep again.

That night, Logan didn’t sleep again until it was three in the morning.

 

Present time 

“That… is actually pretty interesting. What’s their name?” Roman commented and asked after Logan was done with his story.

“Patton Harvey.” Logan uttered the name. Although this Patton person is a stranger to Logan, he already felt an attachment with the name despite never meeting the person himself.

“What am I going to do Roman? You, of all people, know how I am in a social situation. Aside from that, there the added weight of… emotions,” Logan grimaced and continued, “that I would have to deal with—which you know I’m not good at. I have the emotional capacity of a teaspoon.”

“Well, Logan, I do not know how this friend of yours will help you. You know how I feel about soulmates,” The bell above the door of the coffee shop chimed, but Roman paid not attention to it and continued his rant. Logan who sat facing the door glanced at the door briefly. Then he did a double-take.

“I think soulmates are bullshit-”

“Roman…”

“You’re supposed to be a perfect match with a total stranger-”

“Roman, please…”

“Like, what if the universe make mistakes-”

“Roman!” Logan was getting impatient.

“What if it’s all wrong-”

“Roman! Stop it!”

Roman stopped at Logan’s raised voice.

Initially, Logan didn’t want to attract any attention to Roman and especially not to himself. However, he spoke too loud. The second Logan’s blue eyes met a pair of mismatched ones, his world felt like it stuttered to a halt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!! Please leave a comment if you'd like.


	4. Coffee Shop, Morning Classes and Opportunities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan and Patton's first meeting.  
> Roman was given an opportunity.

As soon as he entered the coffee shop, Damien made a beeline to the counter, eager to get his daily dose of caffeine. He ordered vanilla mocha latte for Patton and a classic cappuccino for himself, along with two soft-baked chocolate chip cookies to share. Since his class only started at two p.m. and it was still the beginning of the school year, meaning there weren’t a lot of assignments yet, he soak the memory of quiet moments such as this. He let himself enjoy the peaceful times that he gets to spend with his brother, knowing that these moments will get rare in the future, especially with both of them already in their third year. He looked over his shoulder to see Patton following behind him, scanning the coffee shop to find a sitting spot. A small smile bloomed in his lips. He loves his brother very much, he just doesn’t know how to show it. Between the twins though, it’s an understood thing.

Upon closing the door behind him, Patton scanned the shop to find a sitting spot for them. Preferably near the big floor-to-ceiling window, so they can bask in the morning sunlight. The coffee shop was still quite empty, with only some lone patrons sitting here and there. Patton saw a nice spot in the corner at the back near the two customers who looked like they were having an argument.

 _‘Huh, he looks familiar.’_ But didn’t think about it too much. Patton was about to inform Damien of the sitting spot that he wanted before he heard it;

“Roman! Stop it!” Patton looked back to the duo he saw just a second ago. And then it dawned on him. _‘Oh…’_ He let out a loud gasp. Of course it was him. It was his match, that’s why he looked familiar.

 

* * *

 

Roman heard a loud gasp an looked over his shoulder. He saw that Logan was staring at something behind him, so he followed Logan’s gaze and looked over his shoulder. He saw a man with wavy brown hair and glasses standing between the door and the counter, mouth slightly open. Roman concluded in his head that this man was the source of the noise he heard earlier. What’s most noticeable from this man however, the mismatched colors of his eyes. Remembering from Logan’s story about his _hour,_ this man with mismatched eyes is probably Logan’s soulmate. Understanding the situation—meaning he noticed how long they’ve stared at each other—Roman nudged Logan’s foot with his own.

Feeling the Roman lightly pushed his foot, Logan averted his gaze back to Roman. He understood what Roman meant: _“Talk.”_ However, he couldn’t bring himself to let out even the smallest noises. He silently thanked Roman when he decided to talk instead. He does like being the center of attention anyway.

“Well hello there, is there anything we could help you with? Oh, sorry. I’m Roman Cascales and this is…” Roman started speaking and trailed off, urging Logan to introduce himself.

“Ah, yes, pardon my rude behavior. I’m Logan Sharp. I assume you know who I am?” Logan phrased the last sentence like a question.

“Um, you’re my-” Before he could finish the sentence, an identical copy of the man appeared, albeit without glasses.

“What’s happening?” Damien interrupted, looking cautious and ready if anything is threatening his brother.

Damien raised a brow at his brother in a silent question, _“soulmate?”_ Patton responded with an enthusiastic nod.

“You’re my soulmate,” Patton said again.

Even though he knew he was looking at Patton's soulmate, Damien’s eyes soften a little after hearing how Patton said those words with so much hope and emotion. Who could blame him though? He had been waiting for this moment for almost a year. Even Damien himself would very like to meet his own soulmate. Damien was still cautious, however and did not let his guard down. Nothing is going to do anything to Patton on his watch. Damien gave Roman a short nod and then focused on Logan. He knew which one of the two was Patton’s soulmate without having to ask. He’d heard enough of this man from Patton to know that the other guy was too buff to be Patton’s soulmate.

Patton quickly walked to Logan’s side and gave Logan a brief hug. “Oh wow, it’s real! I’m not dreaming! Well, it’s nice to finally meet you in person. Looks like the universe wants us to meet two days earlier than planned!”

“Pat…” Damien said softly. Patton understood what he meant.

“Oh, whoops. Sorry. I’m Patton Harvey, I think you know that. And this is my brother, Damien.” Damien nodded to both Roman and Logan, then went to the counter to get their coffee and cookies. Meanwhile, Logan who was still surprised by the unexpected encounter was even more surprised when Patton hugged him.

“Well, this is nice and all, but I would have to go now. I have class in twenty minutes.” Roman said suddenly, looking a little offended at being ignored.

On one side, Logan was okay with Roman leaving because he would have some time alone with his soulmate. However, Roman leaving also means that he would have to deal all of this alone. He’s going to die.

 

* * *

 

Roman left the coffee shop, a little relieved that he can get out of that awkward situation. Usually he was always the one to diffuse awkward situations, but this time he didn’t feel like it and preferred to escape the whole scene altogether.

_‘Why can’t people just see that soulmates are just not a good concept. Logan and this Patton guy didn’t even seem compatible. It’s all just gonna fail and lead to all sorts of unwanted mess. Soulmates just make people feel obligated to date each other just because they were a match and then they’re trapped in a loveless relationship. Well, that’s not important to me right now. Class is fifteen more minutes and I’m going to be late if I don’t hurry.’_

Roman walked faster to his class in the arts department. He chose to study fine arts, because he would like to dwell in his big imaginative brain while still making money. He has always been fascinated with art since he was young. Especially paintings and performing arts. Roman have always dreamed of becoming an actor and maybe making it big in Broadway someday. Although he didn’t believe in ideas of soulmates and chose to ignore them, he couldn’t help but wonder, _‘What’s my soulmate even like’_

 

* * *

 

“I hate morning classes!” Virgil sulked, venting out his frustrations at his cousin who was walking next to him. It was a warm morning in campus. Though in Florida, good weather don’t always last. It could always rain later. Virgil half dragged his feet on the ground, a travel-mug full of coffee in one hand, not feeling to great at the moment. “Seriously, I have to wake up early and I have to use my brain early. Why can’t the universe just leave me in peace?”

“Well, I totally relate to you, _brateyek_.” Remy said, looking to be in a similar state as his cousin. Remy and Virgil were both Russian. Like his uncle, Remy grew up in Russia but moved because his match is from the United States. His uncle eventually stayed in the states and married his soulmate, making Virgil half Russian. Even though Remy and Virgil grew up far away from each other, they were still very close. That’s why Remy refer to Virgil as his little brother even though they were the same age. Remy is just five months older.

“Ugghhhh… I wish a meteor struck me right about now. It sounds better than having to do literature in the morning.”

“Better that, I will have to face Roman in the morning.” Remy said, scrunching his face even more when he realized what he just said. “He’s a great guy! I like him a lot. But I’m going to die if I have to see him in the morning.”

“I bet he’s a morning person. Please, never introduce me to this guy.”

“Mmm… okay, see you later _brateyek._ ” Remy said without energy and walked to the arts department.

 

* * *

 

“Magnificent morning to you, Russian guy.” Roman greeted with his usual booming voice.

“Please, whisper would you? And, ex _cuse_ me _sestra,_ I have a name."

“Eh, no one can pronounce your name.”

The campus bell rang and Roman sat himself down next to Remy. “You can just call me Remy instead of my Russian name.”

The professor, already standing in front, started the class. About an hour later the class closed to an end.

“Before you leave,” The professor said, “I have a rather interesting announcement.” The class started to discuss and speculate among themselves about what was happening. “We are going to have a theater production, with a twist.” The class listened intently. “The production is going to be an original from _one_ of you and _only_ one of you. You are not obligated to participate, but if you are interested, the due date is three months from now. If your idea is accepted, the university will sponsor you.”

Roman immediately perked up at the mention of a theater production. He began to bounce even more excitedly in his seat—irritating a sleepy Remy in the process—when the professor informed that an original idea for the production was going to be used. This is his chance. His brain already bursting with ideas. Images, scenes and scenarios exploding in his mind. He can’t wait for it to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again!! Thanks for reading. Please give some feedback in the comment section. Kudos are appreciated.  
> \---  
> Russian vocabs (tell me if I made any mistakes):
> 
> Brateyek  
> Братик  
> [brother (in diminutive form)]
> 
> Sestra  
> Сестра  
> [Sister]


	5. Anxiety and Melancholy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil's 19th birthday is soon.  
> Damien is sad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is not too long because I only wanted to show the dynamics of some of the characters. However, it still has a little development.

It was a warm evening in Florida. The sun had just started to set, painting the kitchen and parts of the living room with its orange and red splash of light. Virgil was too lazy to turn the lights on even though it was starting to get darker. He was feeling unusually calm. It was a Friday, so he can do whatever he wants tonight and the next two days, which means he doesn’t have to think about stuff much.

Remy walked into the living room, with a cup of coffee from Starbucks in one hand—undoubtedly a crazy concoction mixed with a shot of vodka—and his ever-present sunglasses.

“Turn the lights on would you? People are gonna think your pale and skinny ass a vampire hiding in the shadows like that.” Virgil looked up at his cousin and back down at his phone. Remy let out a long sigh and plopped himself next to Virgil. They sat in a comfortable silence for a little while, doing their things separately on their phones.

Remy broke the silence with a question. “Virge, it’s your nineteenth birthday soon. Aren’t you, like, scared? Or something?”

“Am I scared? Why is that a question? And thank you, by the way, for reminding me about that. Now I won’t be able to stop thinking about it.” Virgil said with a hint of disbelief as if the answer should be obvious.

Remy could see that Virgil is scared and worried, and he probably have a million bad thoughts about the future, not just about love and relationship. Remy wasn’t like Virgil. Remy was more carefree and he didn’t really care about what people say about him. To him, what people see is what they get. If they want to know him, then they wouldn’t judge him in a negative way. For Remy, acting this way prevents fake friendships and he would—sometimes—be extra irritating to test those around him if they’re who they say they are.

“Oh _girl_ , come on! It’s not as scary as you think y’know. When _I_ had my _hour_ I wasn’t even in the same country… and I was alright!” Remy paused and looked at Virgil. Seeing that Virgil was (somewhat) paying attention, he continued, “There’s nothing for you to worry about. All you do is probably write notes, check them out and that’s it.” Remy finished, jerking his arms forward to emphasize the finality of his statement.

“We’re different though. It’s like you don’t know what fear and anxiety is. It’s not easy, okay?!” Virgil was a little frustrated to get his cousin to understand his point of view. He didn’t like this conversation, so he tried to change the subject. “On the subject of age and birthdays, you’re basically the same age as me. Why are you one year ahead?”

“I skipped a year during high school.”

Before Remy had the chance to say anything more, Virgil cut in with another question, “How come? You don’t seem that smart to me.” Remy proceeded to look just a little offended at Virgil’s words.

“Excuse me, I am much smarter than I look. I just don’t act like it, because I like it when people underestimate me. Then, _bam_ _!_  I do something amazing and they would be shocked.” Virgil thought he had successfully avoid the topic of his birthday, but Remy knew what he’s doing. “Virge, you’re changing the subject.”

“Uuuugggghh… can we not talk about this, please. Not now at least. You never tell anyone about your _hour_. Not even _totya_ and _dyadya_.” Virgil was eager to change the subject again. He really didn’t want to talk about the prospects of soulmates and love and… ugh… relationships. Sure, he was never really bothered with the thought that there’s someone who is supposedly his perfect match, but he was just scared.

Remy squinted behind his sunglasses. He didn’t really understand why Virgil is scared or worried, but he knew what the anticipation felt like. As much as he wanted to convince his cousin that’s it’s going to be alright, he also didn’t want anxiety and worry to consume Virgil. So, he dropped the subject altogether.

“No… I never tell anyone, because, like, I think it’s more special if fewer people know about it. But like, if you want to know, then I’ll tell you…” Remy paused, trailing off. Virgil thought Remy was going to start his story about his _hour_ , but, “after your birthday. After you have yours, then I’ll tell you mine.”

“What if I don’t get an _hour_?” Virgil mumbled, although loud enough for Remy to hear. “What if I don’t have a soulmate? What if I _do_ have soulmate but they hate me?” Virgil was starting to get a little frantic as he continued muttering bad scenarios. For a second, Remy didn’t know what to do, so he just listened to Virgil listing all the possibilities of bad things happening. “What if _I’m_ the one who doesn’t like them? What would happen then? What if we just don’t —”

“Time out! Pump the brakes! _Uspokoysya, d_ _voyurodnyy brat_ _!_  If you keep thinking about all the ‘what if’ scenarios you can’t have fun! True, there are endless possibilities of bad things happening,” Virgil flinched a little, “but there are _also_ endless possibilities of the good things happening. So, don’t think about it too much.”

“ _Remus!_  I’m just scared okay? I’m—I just don’t want things to go wrong…” Virgil was getting really uncomfortable, but he also knew that maybe he needed this conversation with Remy to convince his brain that things could go in good directions too.

Remy knew that Virgil was getting more frustrated when he had used Remy’s Russian name instead of his English nickname. “Really? _What_ could go wrong?!”

“Oh, _k_ _huy znáet._ I can probably make a list!”

 

* * *

 

Damien was confused. It’s been two weeks after Patton first met Logan and they’ve met about four times. They get along surprisingly nicely, considering how different those two are. However, Damien was confused about what he was feeling. He was both happy and sad. He was happy that his brother found his match and Patton is now much happier than usual. Even Damien at first a little surprised that a guy like Patton, who is blindly optimistic and is a literal sunshine, can get even happier than before. Damien was delighted to see his brother so bright.

Sometimes though, he would suddenly feel down for no apparent reason. He would feel somewhat dead, like he couldn’t do anything. Actually, Damien knows why he was feeling that way, but he didn’t want to admit it, even to himself. He didn’t tell his brother about this either. But of course, Patton noticed that his brother was feeling down. He also could tell that Damien didn’t want him to know, so Patton played dumb while still trying to lift his brother’s spirits up.

Damien was sitting on the living room couch, staring out the window, enjoying the feel of warm sunlight hitting his skin. It’s going to be dark soon. He was feeling okay earlier that day, but when he got back from class an hour ago, he didn’t feel so okay anymore.

“Hey Dee! I was—” Patton exclaimed cheerfully, then stopped himself when he sensed that Damien was not in a cheerful mood.

“You were…” Damien prompted Patton to continue.

“I was thinking,” Patton continued though much softer than before, his story forgotten and now he’s focusing on cheering his brother up, “we should have a movie marathon tonight. Tomorrow’s a weekend anyway right? And we could also make popcorn and hot chocolate. Oh! Or we could order pizza! Or both! How does that sound?”

“Um…” Damien knew that Patton knew how he was feeling at that moment. He also knew what Patton was trying to do. Damien considered lying to his brother about his feelings, because he didn’t like talking about them. But he also knew that Patton will see through his lies. “It sounds like you’re aware of something that I’m not.” There. Lie of omission. He didn’t say anything relating to how he was feeling so, he hoped that Patton wouldn’t talk to him about them or at least understand that he didn’t want to.

Patton’s eyes soften hearing what his brother said. Damien was not detached with his feelings. Patton knew this. But, Damien often lies about his emotions (and other things too) to the people around him and even to himself. Damien would convince himself that he’s okay, that he’s fine even when he himself knows it’s not true. Patton really wanted his brother to see that it’s not healthy to do that. He tried to talk to his brother about it, but Damien would deflect the subject.

“Well…” Patton started but he was unsure of how to bring the subject around. “I just thought you seem really sad lately and—” Damien interrupted before Patton could finish his sentence.

“No. I’m fine, I swear.” Damien said firmly, keeping eye contact to convince Patton. But eyes never lie. Patton saw that his eyes were dim. It didn’t have its usual shine. He had a feeling he knew why Damien was feeling this way, but he wasn’t sure. Patton looked at his brother, eyebrows low in a silent statement of _“no you’re not.”_

Damien lied anyway even though he knew his brother would see the truth. He really didn’t like talking about his feelings. He didn’t avoid his emotions, he just didn’t like showing it because he didn’t like to look vulnerable. “I swear, I’m okay. I’m perfectly fine.” This time, Damien refused to look at Patton in the eyes.

“Alright, I’ll go make some popcorn and hot chocolate. You go pick the movie.”

“No!” Damien exclaimed, surprising Patton, then smiled, “You go put on the movie, I’ll make the stuff. Don’t want you to burn yourself _again_.”

Patton smiled in relief and went to the small table next to the TV where they store all their movies. “I’m putting on your favorite, Dee.” Damien hummed in response, already heading to the kitchen.

Fifteen minutes later, they were sitting in the living room in dim lighting, surrounded with piles of blankets and pillows, plus two mugs of hot chocolate and a mountain of buttered popcorn, the opening of ‘Now You See Me’ playing. Damien have always been fascinated with magic tricks and illusions, he always thought that they’re clever.

“Thanks,” Damien whispered to Patton who was leaning against him.

“Anytime, bro.”

Damien tried to forget everything and just focus on the movie, but he couldn’t even do that. He felt tired. He felt drained and didn’t have any energy. Not wanting to upset his brother, he sat in silence, looking at the movie without watching it, hearing the characters but not listening. _‘Why am I like this?’_ he thought to himself. But of course, he knew why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again, thank you for reading!! Can anyone guess why Damien is feeling shitty? We'll find out in the chapters to come.  
> For those who are wondering:  
> Remus is pronounced [REY-moos] and roll your 'r'  
> \---
> 
> These are some of the vocabs I used for Remy and Virgil in this chapter (I used the latin spelling because it's much easier to read rather than the Russian alphabets):
> 
> Uspokoysya, dvoyurodnyy brat  
> Успокойся, двоюродный брат  
> [Calm down, cousin]
> 
> Khuy znáet.  
> Хуй зна́ет.  
> [Fuck knows.]
> 
> Totya  
> Тётя  
> [Aunt]
> 
> Dyadya  
> Дядя  
> [Uncle]


	6. Loneliness and Togetherness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton and Logan went on their fifth outing.  
> Damien is lonely.

_‘Uuuughhh… what is_ wrong _with me?!’_ Logan was going to meet Patton again in two hours. He wasn’t usually nervous. This was the fifth time they had these outings after all. So why was he nervous now? _‘This isn’t even a date.’_ Logan told himself. Logan had told Patton at their first meeting in the coffee shop that he didn’t want a serious relationship yet. He didn’t want to force Patton into a relationship as it could end horribly. Plus, he didn’t want that end for himself either. They never went anywhere expensive, so there was no pressure there, but it’s always memorable. This time was Logan’s turn to pick the place. Of course he’s going to choose one of his favorites; The planetarium.

 

* * *

 

When Logan had told him that they were going to a planetarium, Patton was a bit worried. See, Patton wasn’t really the type of person that likes education-type learning where there are facts and lots of logic. Because of this, people always assume that Patton was stupid and shallow, but of course he’s so much more than that. Patton values learning greatly, it’s just that he learns by doing and not listening, so he doesn’t learn well from lectures or reading textbooks.

What he’s worried about most is that Logan often explain things verbally. That would make it more difficult for Patton to understand things. Especially, with space and planet stuff that he had very little interest in. He didn’t want Logan to think he’s stupid or that he’s bored when he wasn't paying attention. He didn’t want to let Logan down.

Remembering their past hangouts though, Patton became a little less worried. Logan always has a way of making almost everything more interesting. Patton doesn’t know what makes it that way, it just does. Logan has that charm about him when he talks about science or mathematical things that makes it interesting.

Now, two hours later, Damien stopped his car in front of the planetarium to drop Patton off. The planetarium was a magnificent building with cream glossy paint at the front and a dome structure a little bit to the back that’s so big it could be seen from the entrance of the building. There were massive planet statues at the garden of the museum to the left and right of the building, scattered throughout the museum grounds. It was a nice morning too. Not too hot or too cold, and not too sunny or too cloudy. Just right.

Patton was too nervous to actually appreciate his surroundings. Damien, ever the observant, noticed that his brother was shaking slightly. Patton was not moving to get out of the car.

“Pat, you’re fine. You’ve done this a few times before, it’s gonna be alright.” Damien said, wrapping his hand around Patton’s reassuringly.

“Okay, I’ll see you later.” Patton got out of the car and shut the door without looking back. It was peculiar sight to see Patton become a little stiff like that. Damien was amused rather than worried. He’d seen Patton like that many times during their middle and high school years. Patton always turn a little stiff whenever he’s scared or nervous, but mostly when he saw or interact his crush. Damien knew not to worry.

 

* * *

 

Damien zipped out of the museum grounds and headed home. The drive wasn’t long, only seventeen minutes and twenty two seconds. Yes, Damien knew that because he was bored. He got his phone out and set a timer.

As children, Damien and Patton were always thought of as a unit. Patton was able to break out of that once they were in fourth grade. He was a very bright child and very social. He still is. He was able to find his own friends, while Damien was left behind. Of course, Patton always include him in absolutely everything, so Patton’s friends ended up adopting Damien as their friend too.

Now in their adulthood, their personalities are very different. Patton knew a lot of people and he has many friends even though not all of them were close friends. Patton was that one friend who’s always laughing and making jokes. Damien was different. He's the quiet type. Most people know him only as ‘Patton’s twin’.

 _“Hey, you know Damien Harvey?”_ they’d ask.

 _“Harvey? Oh, isn't that Patton's brother?”_ Another would answer.

 _“Yeah, he’s always alone,”_ they’d continue.

Yes, Damien was always alone. No, Damien do not like being alone. He always wished that he has many friends like Patton. He wanted someone to appreciate him and see past his cold exterior. At first, he wasn’t too excited when his parents told him about soulmates and he always thought he didn’t have one. He thought he was right to predict that he doesn’t have a soulmate when he didn’t get his _hour_ on his nineteenth birthday. He didn’t mind and he didn’t care. Of course, part of him wished he wasn’t alone anymore. But he didn't think about it too much.

When he finally had his _hour_ a few months ago, he was secretly thrilled. _Finally_ , someone who could appreciate him, someone who he could depend on and for them to depend on him in return. But his hopes were crushed when he realized his match wasn’t even from the same country. Sure, that’s super cool that his soulmate was from an entirely different continent and speaks a totally different language than him, but it would take forever for them to find each other.

Damien was lonely. Damien didn’t like being lonely.

 

* * *

 

Logan looked at his watch again for the sixth time in two minutes. He didn’t actually look at the time. He did that to give himself something to do other than wait for Patton nervously. When Logan spotted Patton at the museum entrance, scanning the place for him, he couldn’t help but think that Patton looked cute. He pushed the thought away and approached Patton.

“Hello again, Patton. Beautiful morning, isn’t it?” Logan said, standing next to Patton, looking neat and prim.

“Heya Logan!” Once he saw Logan, his nervousness seemed to melt away, replaced by his usual bouncy self. “Let’s start!”

“I thought, we should start at the stars section. They’re quite interesting.” Logan led the way to the section of the planetarium dedicated to constellations. It was a massive room with a high ceiling with many smaller sections for all the different stars and constellations. Everything inside were dark starting from the dark blue carpet that appear black, up to the black-painted ceiling. There were many small light bulbs put up here and there to simulate a starry sky. It was an incredible sight. “Let’s look at that one.” Logan pointed to their left.

They went into an area with horoscopes constellations painted on the wall with phosphorous paint, so they glow in the dark with the help of black light.

“When is your birthday Patton?” Logan asked, eyes still glued to the paintings on the wall.

“January 24th. Why?”

“You’re an Aquarius then.” The way Logan said it sounded more like a statement rather than a question. Patton just nodded in response.

“Well, did you know in the Aquarius constellation, the brightest star is called the Beta Aquarii,” Logan began his chatter. “It is actually a double star, which is one the reasons it’s the brightest in the constellation.”

“What’s a double star?” Patton asked, starting to get more interested.

“A double star is essentially two stars that appear as if they are a single star with the naked eye. But when you use a telescope, especially a strong one, you could see that they have a double shine.” Logan explained. “Another example of a double star is Sirius, part of the _canis major_ constellation.”

“The Beta Aquarii is also known as _Sadalsuud_. In some mythologies such as the Egyptian, Persian and Islamic mythologies, the _Sadalsuud_ is associated withto the rising Sun when winter has passed. It is said to be associated with luck or good fortune.” Logan continued his explanation while pointing to the referred star in the painting of the Aquarius constellation for Patton.

“Wow… I guess it makes sense since that basically means the return of warmth after cold.” Patton said with a smile.

“I didn’t think of that before. But yes, I supposed you are right.” Logan didn’t know Patton could be quite insightful.

Logan continued his chatter about Aquarius constellations. What they mean and symbolize, everything about it. That’s when Patton realized. This was why everything Logan say was interesting to him. How his eyes light up with excitement when he speaks about something he is passionate about. His lips slightly upturned, forming a ghost of a smile. How he gestured vividly that would never bore Patton. How his hushed, low voice would sound soothing to Patton’s ears. And how Logan would raise his voice just slightly as he gets more excited.

Most importantly though, he loves how Logan would relate everything he talks about to Patton. With the stars, Logan talked about Aquarius, Patton’s star sign. Last week, he talked about Patton’s coffee, saying how the first person who mixed coffee, chocolate, sugar and cinnamon must have been crazy. It was very thoughtful of him.

Logan was still talking about the stars, unaware of Patton's thoughts about him. Patton would look at the paintings and star diagrams, but he was much more interested in watching Logan talk. He likes it when Logan is at ease, relaxed. It made the whole atmosphere more entrancing and with the fake stars surrounding them, it felt magical and enchanting.

“Woah… that’s really cool, Logan.” Patton said once Logan finished what he was saying.

Patton truly didn’t know how he should feel about Logan. Since he was a child, he was always the type of person who falls for someone easily. However, something about Logan made him hesitate. It wasn’t because he didn’t like Logan or because Logan wasn’t interesting. Logan was smart, cool and he appear confident. But that’s the problem for Patton. He felt Logan was very much out of his league and that it was strange for the universe to set them up as soulmates.

Logan was watching Patton silently as he looked at the paintings of the constellations and stars. He had always avoided his emotions. He doesn’t hate his emotions, but he prefer to avoid them, because he didn’t know what to do with them, leaving him to be a little emotionally constipated. Something about Patton puts him at ease and he couldn’t help his feelings. The problem is he doesn’t know what he was feeling. He thought it’s cute how Patton would sometimes ask questions and make little comments. He couldn’t help but feel… _something,_ he doesn’t know what.

“Would you like to move on to the planet and space exhibit?” Logan asked.

“Sure.”

 

* * *

 

Damien is once again alone in the apartment. Patton had been out for almost three hours with Logan. At first, Damien had been cautious about Logan. However, Patton would talk about Logan a lot. He would tell Damien that Logan is this or Logan is that. Patton would always be happy and excited when he talks about Logan, too. So, Damien decided that Logan was good for his brother.

But now he’s lonely as ever, sitting on the sofa that felt too big just for himself. He’s not jealous that Logan got to hang out with Patton. No. He was jealous that they both found each other. He crave that feeling of wholeness, being with someone who actually _wants_ to understand him, not _forced_ to. He wanted something secure.

“It would take me a lifetime to go to Russia. Plus, I still have to find the guy once I’m there.” Damien said to himself, desperation and frustration lacing the words.

Damien reached into his front pocket, taking out a piece of paper that looked like it had been folded and opened over and over many times. Damien read over the page with his soulmate’s handwriting for the millionth time and traced the letters with his fingers lightly. The note is very brief, but it means a lot to Damien. It’s what gave him motivation when he’s down. It’s what calms him down when he’s angry or frustrated.

 

_Remus Galanicheff (19)_

_Yes, I’m Russian. And yes, I can speak English._

_See you whenever I’ll see you._

 

The note is so painfully short. Damien wished that it was longer.

“Who are you?” Damien muttered under his breath. He looked at the note and read it again. He flipped the paper and was surprised when saw something he had overlooked before. Another writing. It was small and a little faint, at the bottom of the paper. It was written in Russian, but it still gave Damien a little spark of hope and excitement.

 

терпение, дорогая

_terpeniye, dorogaya_

 

He took out his phone and typed the phrase for a translation.

When he read the translation on his phone screen, he had to read it again multiple times before the meaning registers. He stared at his phone screen willing the words to come alive and caress him somehow. How could a simple phrase mean so much? At moments of desperation like this, the words felt so painful, yet it was a reassurance. Damien laid back on the sofa and closed his eyes. He held the note close to his heart, repeating the small phrase in his head over and over.

 

_Have patience, darling._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, who knew Remy could be gentle and thoughtful? We know that Remy hasn't shared his 'hour' with anyone yet. Yes, he did tell why he doesn't share (because the experience is more special if he doesn't tell anyone) but he does have other reasons, too.
> 
> I put Patton's (and by default, Damien's) birthday to be 24th of January instead of 15th of January. It's weird, but I counted the difference in day between Morality's b'day and Deceit's b'day and took the middle of it. (hope that makes sense?)
> 
> Additional author's note:  
> Sorry all my chapters are really short, that's why I try to update as soon as possible. I'm trying to write longer chapters without messing up the quality of the writing. As always, please leave comments.
> 
> \---
> 
> Russian stuff:  
> терпение, дорогая  
> Terpeniye, dorogaya  
> [Have patience, darling]
> 
> терпение (terpeniye) could mean 'patience' or 'have patience'  
> дорогая (dorogoy) could mean 'sweetheart' 'darling' or 'honey'


	7. Important Information: He's Not Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman had his 'hour'

Roman was excited. Ever since that announcement about the original theater production, Roman couldn’t help but think about it _all_ the time. He got distracted a lot, thinking about the plot lines of his first original play. The professor never said it should be a musical, but _obviously_ he’s making it a musical, because who could live without ever hearing his wonderful singing voice?

It was almost midnight and Roman was still hunched on his desk, writing ideas and creating scenes. He had always liked writing romantic or heroic tropes, be it poems or stories. Princes and knights saving damsels, fighting evil and dying an honorable death. Or perhaps, little scenes with romantic gestures where the hero would woo the girl and they would fall madly in love with each other. What people don’t expect though, is that Roman loves stories where the villain turns good and be the hero. He thought the most noble deed anyone could do is to own up to their mistakes and change themselves for the better.

Roman had been at his desk for six hours. His shoulders felt like it was made out of concrete; heavy and stiff. His fingers were jellies; weakly holding a pen and dancing across the paper in an erratic pattern. His eyes sting from the bright white light of his desk lamp. Roman ignored his discomfort and continued his writing, imagination still running wild.

 _‘I should maybe start writing at least one scene. What good are ideas if I don’t use it? Which one though?’_ Roman paused for a moment. _‘Oh, that part at the near-ending is a good one.’_

_‘How should that scene start? Oh, I know…_

 ~~~

_“You took a bullet for me.” the villain stared at him as he gasped for a breath that didn’t quite reach his lungs. “That was a stupid move.”_

_He wished he had something to say. An excuse. He wished he had had a plan, but he had done it out of instinct._

_He wished he had something to say. A witty comment. Something smart. But every word he wanted to say died on his lips. Everything hurts._

_The villain stepped closer, looming over him. For a second, everything was silent. Nothing moves, the wind holds its breath, the birds didn’t sing their happy songs. The villain scooped him up and leaned him over the large tree behind them._

_“Why did you have to be so stupid?” the villain said, desperation dripping from the words. “Stay with me. Don’t you dare leave me. Please. If you stay, I promise-I promise I will tell you everything. I promise I’ll be better. Just… please don’t go.”_

_“I’m not going anywhere.” he said. His breaths were getting shorter…’_

 ~~~

 _‘I think that’s good for now.’_ Roman thought, satisfied with what he had worked on for now.

Roman would never admit it, but he would often imagine himself being the hero who people adore. Well, one person would be enough for him. Roman have always wanted someone who he can protect and shower with gifts and kisses. Someone who doesn’t demand anything from him. Someone who he can love.

Suddenly, Roman felt a dull pain at the back of his head, like someone had punched him at the back of the head. He ignored it in favor of writing more ideas. He felt another pain, more intense this time. Roman threw his pen on his desk in frustration. Why can’t he just work in peace?! He held his head in his hands, closing his eyes, waiting for the pain to go away. After the pain had receded, he opened his eyes and was greeted by an unusual sight.

“ _¡Qué mierda!_ Where am I?!"Roman exclaimed in his surprise upon finding that he was no longer in his bedroom. He found himself seated on a bed with extremely soft sheets and heavy blanket. Roman didn’t do anything for a little while, just looking around without thinking.

He stayed on the bed for about ten minutes before he started processing his situation. _‘Am I dreaming?’_ He looked around him again, now choosing to internalize his thoughts. _‘I don’t think I like this dream. I want to go back. How do I go back?’_ Roman looked around some more without leaving the bed. The first thing he noticed was that everything was dark. By that meaning whoever decided to decorate this place has a dark aesthetic. That’s not the right word, but Roman didn’t care.

 _‘Wow… even the pillow_ smells _edgy.’_ Roman stood from his perch on the bed. He walked over to the bookshelf to the left of the bed, taking a closer look at the book collection. They were mostly poetry books, dated and modern. There are some other things too, three or four books about linguistics and two other books about space. _‘An emo nerd. That’s a weird combination.’_

Roman dropped one of the books he was holding, so he bent down to pick it up. He almost instantly felt that something was off. He couldn’t place it. Something was off and he didn’t know what. _‘Wait…’_ Of course. Usually, when he bend down to pick something up, the distance from his head to the floor was longer. _‘Am I shorter? I’m shorter.’_ Roman told himself after reaching the conclusion then immediately back-paddled “ _¡Qué mierda!_ I’m shorter! How in _las tierra_ is that even possible?!”

Roman paced back and forth in the small, dark bedroom, thinking about how he had gotten himself into this nonsense situation. He wished his nerdy friend was here to help him think. Logan would have known what is happening. _‘Think. How can this happen? What did I do? What did I do to the universe that it does_ this _to me. Oh… the universe- oh… oh no. No, no, nononono! This is not happening!’_

Of course it’s _the hour_ . Of course the universe loves to mock him. Of course the universe would know the one thing he hated most. And Of course the universe decided to _give_ him that one thing that he hated most; a soulmate.

 _‘What time is it now?’_ He took the phone at the bedside table to look at the time. When he saw the lock screen picture he froze. _‘Uuuuumm…’_ he furrowed his brows and pursed his lips, thinking hard while staring at the picture. _‘That’s-that’s Remy. The Russian dude in my class?’_ The picture was of Remy and another guy (who Roman thinks is super cute and immediately shoves the thought away) standing back-to-back looking straight at the camera, both having a neutral expression.

Roman would agree if someone said Remy was an attractive guy. Perfectly mussed auburn hair framing an oval face with ungodly jawline, sunglasses covering half his face which gives a mysterious vibe (until he talks, that is) and the classic ‘t-shirt, leather jacket and jeans’ combo that he usually goes for. Yes. Remy is positively _hot_. However, Roman was unsure about having him as a soulmate though. He looked down at himself —technically it’s his soulmate—and back at the picture.

Roman looked at the time once again. _‘I still have thirty minutes. Why can’t this just end right now?’_ He walked out of the bedroom to find the bathroom. He marched in and faced the mirror. _‘Oh, I knew it was impossible for Remy guy to be my soulmate.’_ was Roman’s first thought upon seeing the reflection in the mirror. His second thought was… well, it took time for him to form another thought. A pretty long time.

Roman could see the resemblance between his soulmate and Remy. They are undoubtedly related. Pale complexion making the skin look smooth and milky, striking steel grey eyes that pops against the soft-purple dyed hair, chocolate brown hair peeking at the roots. Noticeable cheekbones and killer jawline, subtle muscles framing the thin body perfectly. Roman dared to lift the loose black t-shirt to peek, revealing the same pale, milky skin. He stared at the mirror once again and noticed the dark under-eye bags.

Roman couldn’t help but think that this person was enchantingly beautiful. He immediately shook his head, as if by doing that he could banish the thought out of his head. No! This can’t happen, it’s not possible. Roman _hates_ soulmates and _nothing_ will change that. He _doesn’t_ need a soulmate, because soulmates are _not_ true love. He is _not_ going to fall into that trap. He furrowed his brows while still staring at the mirror and leaving the bathroom with a sour mood.

 _‘Everything sucks.’_ Roman stomps back into the bedroom. He didn’t know what to do. He never wanted this. He still didn’t want this. So, he decided to write a note.

Roman walked the short distance from the door to the desk at the corner of the room and angrily wrote a note.

 

_Roman Cascales._

_I never wanted this, still don’t want this. Don’t look for me._

_If you ever see me, walk the other way._

 

He left the note, written on a post it, on the desk and sat on the bed again. He scrunched his face in annoyance. Why did the universe, or whatever being or force that created the universe decided that it was a good idea for soulmates to be a thing? Everything is a _lie._ Many people are trapped in loveless relationships _just_ because they’re soulmate. Other people take advantage of their soulmate status to manipulate their match for their gain. Roman wanted to give a long lecture to whoever make soulmates an actual concept and maybe give them some murder charges for those whose life was taken because of that concept—literally and figuratively. Many people have had their lives ruined because of soulmates.

Roman looked at the phone once again to look at the time. He realized that the other boy in the picture was his soulmate. The realization made him want to punch something and just burst with red hot anger. _‘Ten more minutes. Just ten more minutes, hold on Roman.’_ Roman tried to cool himself down.

When he felt a familiar pain at the back of his head, he embraced it. He wanted this to end _right now._

 

* * *

 

Roman launched himself to the bed. His chest rising up and down quickly. He screamed into his pillow to muffle the sound and clutching the material of his thick blanket tightly in contained anger. His excitement from an hour ago was forgotten.

In the morning, before he left the apartment, he found a note on his desk.

 

_Virgil Dudnickov (19)_

_Not much to say about me._

 

With the additional of email address and phone number, there was nothing else written.

After reading the note, Roman left his apartment in a foul mood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I am very sorry this chapter came out later than I intended. My relatives came over for a week so I had to put this whole thing on hold for a few days.  
> As always, leave a comment. I would love to know what you think about everything.  
> \---  
> Roman's vocab (please tell me if I made any mistakes with these):
> 
> ¡Qué mierda!  
> [What the fuck!]
> 
> Las tierra  
> [The world; the Earth]


	8. Shattered Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil told his 'hour' to Remy

Virgil is back sitting on his bed. He leaned himself against his headboard until the headache eased. He opened his eyes and let himself enjoy the familiarity of his room once before he processed what just happened. His heart was still beating quickly, it felt like it might jump out of his chest. His hand are sweating, making it cold and clammy.

“Geez,” Virgil breathed out. “What am I going to do now?”

Virgil tried to calm himself down, breathing deeply in and out, in and out. Once he was able to breath regularly again, he was able to think clearly. He looked at the clock on his bedroom wall. _1:03._ He needed to wake Remy up. Right now.

Virgil got out of his bed and dashed to Remy’s door. “Remy!” He banged on the door a couple of times, not bothering to knock softly. A soft knock will not wake Remy up. An unnaturally heavy sleeper like him wouldn’t wake up even if the building is on fire. He wasn't called 'Sleep' for nothing. Virgil banged on the door again.

“Remy! Wake the fuck _up_!” He shouted and continued banging on the door.

Remy heard someone banging on his door. He covered his head with his blanket to block out the sound and hopefully whoever is banging on his door will give up and stop.

“Remy, open up!” Virgil shouted again, his voice starting to edge closer to a panic.

Remy lazily got out of his bed with a low groan. Why can’t Virgil just let him sleep in peace? He opened his door a crack, sticking only his head out. “What?” He asked groggily, still half asleep. He pulled his head inside to look at his alarm clock. “It’s one in the morning. What do you want?”

“Exactly, it’s one a.m. It’s an hour after midnight.”

“Umm… what?” Remy questioned, his sleep-fogged brain not processing what Virgil meant.

“ _The hour,_ Remy. I-I had it.” Virgil clarified. His heartbeat picking up it’s pace again. Remy noticed Virgil’s nervousness. How he shifts his weight from one foot to another and picking at his hoodie. He opened his door wider and dragged Virgil inside by the arm. He needed to know everything.

“Tell me. Everything.”

 

* * *

 

Virgil was lying awake on his bed. It’s the midnight following his nineteenth birthday, which means he will enter _the hour._ Well, unless he doesn’t have soulmate. He couldn’t sleep thinking of what might happen. He thought, if he was going to have _the hour,_ then he should be awake. And if he’s not going to have _the hour,_ then he should also be awake to know that right away. Virgil thought, not having a soulmate at all would be easier; there would be no emotional pressure and there’s less chance that he would disappoint anyone. However, he also thought that having a soulmate would mean there will always be someone there for him and he wouldn’t have to live a lonely life.

With all of that considered though, he couldn’t help but think what complicated problems he would have to deal with if his soulmate and him aren’t compatible. _‘Is that possible?’_ Virgil thought to himself. He had heard some soulmates couples who failed in the past and he knew that is possible to happen to him, too. _‘What if it doesn’t work out? What if I disappoint them and ruin everything? And what would happen if I_ don’t _have a soulmate? Oh fuck, what if they died and I don’t know?’_

Before he could think of another scenario, Virgil felt a dull pain in the back of his head. He immediately sat up on the bed. After the pain eased, he leaned back on his headboard. Then, another wave of pain shot through, more intense then the one before. Virgil closed his eyes to stop the world from spinning and let out a groan.

When he opened his eyes again, he knew he was supposed to know what’s going to happen. He knew that he would be transported to his soulmate’s body, meaning he wouldn’t be in his room anymore. However, he couldn’t help but panicking a little bit when he found himself seated in front of a desk with papers strewn around, no longer in the comfort of his dark bedroom. His heart was hammering in his chest. He clenched his fist tightly to ground himself.

Virgil set his eyes on the papers on the desk. Loopy letters danced across the page in a messy choreography. Some of the sentences are long and detailed. Some are shorter. Another page has small sketches of little scenes _‘What’s this? Movie? Theater?’_ The writings and drawing on the paper gave him something to do and focus on something else other than screwing up. _‘It looks like whoever this is, is making some sort of theater production,’_ Virgil thought to himself after reading the big title, “ORIGINAL THEATER PRODUCTION”

The sound of the clock on the wall brought Virgil back to reality. _‘Look, I’ve done literally nothing for five minutes. What a waste of time.’_ He was starting to get anxious again. He took a post-it note from the desk and started to write a note… if only he knew what to write. He had memorized what he was going to write on the note before he entered _the hour._ Now, though, he couldn’t remember a single thing. He panicked—again—and closed his eyes to recall what information he was supposed to write other than his name. _‘Come on brain, why is it that you only work in the shower or when I’m about to sleep?!’_ Virgil thought angrily, cursing his brain. How can he not think of anything? At least _one_ thing. After fifteen minutes of thinking, he gave up. He ended up writing something very vague and non-informational at all.

 

_Virgil Dudnickov (19)_

_Not much to say about me_

 

With the addition of email address and phone number, Virgil didn’t write anything else. He wished he had written something else, but he couldn’t, for the life of him, think of something that he should write. Virgil didn’t think anything in his life is significant enough to write about.

_‘Still have forty minutes.’_

Now, Virgil was no longer as nervous as he was at the beginning. He still felt like something might go wrong and he will screw up, but he was no longer in a state where he could easily slip into a panic attack. For a moment, he just sat at the desk, not doing anything. After a few minutes, he decided to look around the room.

The window was covered with soft and thick burgundy curtain with golden trims, under which the desk was situated. Opposite the window was the bed. It was still neat, indicating that it had been untouched. The deep royal red bed cover felt soft under Virgil’s fingers. Above the headboard were fairy lights hung on the wall. On them, small pictures of people and some sceneries which gives into the aesthetic of the whole place. Under the bed was a big, luxurious white carpet. The dim shine of the fairy lights gave a soothing and cozy atmosphere. Next to the bed was the door with two or three musical posters on it.

 _‘Theater geek, huh. Should’ve guessed from the theater project on the desk.’_ Virgil inspected the posters on the door. In fact, the rest of the wall in the room was covered with various theater posters and flyers. As he was scanning the room, Virgil found a full-length mirror in the corner, on the other side of the bed adjacent to the door. He walked over to the mirror and take a look.

At first, he thought his soulmate would look like an average American guy. He was wrong. _Very_ wrong. A mess of waves of almost-blond golden brown hair, complimenting bright emerald eyes. Broad shoulders and slim waist, which Virgil couldn’t help but run his fingers over, feeling every bumps of muscle. Toned muscles and biceps. Virgil stepped closer to the mirror to take a closer look at his soulmate’s face. He had to bite back a sigh as he traced the defined jawlines that end on a defined chin.

 _‘How does a fucking_ Greek God, _have_ me _as a soulmate?’_ Virgil stumbled backward a little as the realization hits him. This guy was _his soulmate_ . “Shit.” he said lowly. They were supposed to _fall in love_ and possible _start a relationship?!_ Virgil thought, whoever ran the machine of the world must have been drunk. _‘He’s gonna hate me. When he finds me, he’s going to realize how weird and rude I am. Gosh.’_ His hands were starting to sweat again, his legs were noodles. He had to sit down on the floor, leaning against the wall. He pulled his knees close to his chest and settled his forehead on them.

Virgil put his hand on the carpet, feeling every bumps and dips to ground himself. He counted his breaths; in for four, hold for seven and out for eight. He repeated the breathing exercise before he could stop hyperventilating. Virgil dropped his head back onto the wall, looking at the empty ceiling to clear his mind.

When Virgil looked at the clock again, he only had three more minutes left. When he felt a headache coming, he didn’t force it to go away this time. Then, he found himself sitting at the edge of his bed.

 

* * *

 

“And then, here I am now.” Virgil concluded the summary of his _hour._ Remy listened to every detail of the story.

“You said you thought your soulmate was ‘going to look like an average American guy’… how did you know he was going to be American. Well, _obviously_ it’s gonna be a guy. We’re both are, like, _super_ gay.”

Virgil rolled his eyes at Remy’s comment. “I knew he was American because of the grammar he used in the papers on his desk.”

“How’d you even _noticed_ that?”

“I’m a literature student,” Virgil answered flatly. "Plus, I checked the location and it was Florida."

For a moment it was silent. Virgil’s mind wandered off to thoughts of his soulmate. To be honest, Virgil was a little intimidated by this guy. He seems to be a people’s person, judging by the pictures above the bed. He also seemed to be a dramatic person, looking from all the theater related stuff going on. Though Virgil was used to drama by now that he’s living with Remy.

Remy recalled Virgil’s description of his soulmate. It sounded familiar, but he couldn’t put a finger on who might look like the person Virgil described. He rifled through his memory, but he couldn’t tell who might be Virgil’s soulmate.

“Did you get a note?” Remy asked, breaking the silence.

“What?” Virgil snapped back from his thoughts. “Oh, mm… I didn’t check. I might, actually.”

“Look for it now. Then, tell me what it says.” Remy said, dragging Virgil again. This time out of his room to Virgil’s own room. Virgil entered his room nervously, tugging his shirt down as he scanned the room carefully for any small paper or some kind of note.

Virgil found the note on his desk, with his favorite pen next to it. When he found it, he immediately averted his gaze so that he didn’t read the words right away.

“Found it.” Virgil announced to Remy, who was waiting by the door. He took the note in his hands and brought it closer to his face. He hoped that his soulmate wouldn’t hate him. He hoped that someone other than Remy would accept him. Only _now_ was he regretting not writing more on his note for his soulmate. He wished he had written more.

“What does it say?”

Virgil looked at the note and read it quickly. His entire frame shook with the effort to hold it together. He should have known this will happen. He should have gotten used to the bitter taste of rejection.

 

_Roman Cascales._

_I never wanted this, still don’t want this. Don’t look for me._

_If you ever see me, walk the other way._

 

He should have known his soulmate wouldn’t want him. Of course. No one wanted him in their lives. Only idiots wanted that.

 

_I never wanted this…_

 

Though he knew his soulmate wouldn’t want him, he couldn’t help but think what he did wrong. _‘It doesn’t matter why,’_ he thought.

“Virgil, you good there, _girl?_ ” Remy asked. He noticed the way Virgil’s entire body shake slightly. It must’ve been something that was written on the note. “What does the note say, Virge?”

Virgil turned his head to face Remy, hiding the note with his body. Remy saw the shine in Virgil’s eyes. Tears, he realized. “What does the note say, _brateyek_?” He asked again, softer this time.

“Nothing important.” Virgil replied flatly. He didn’t want Remy—or anyone at all—to know. He put the note back on the desk and walked over to the door. “I’ll see you in the morning, Rem. _spokoynoy nochi._ ” Virgil closed the door on Remy’s face. Virgil stayed on the door until he heard Remy’s footsteps fading into the hallway

He rushed to the desk and snatched the note angrily. What did he do to ever deserve this? Why do everyone _hate_ him? Hot tears fell from his eyes, giving his steel eyes a silvery shine. The tears flow in a steady stream, making its journey down Virgil’s cheeks and dripping down his chin. Why? Why does this always happen?

Virgil choked on a sob, trying to silence himself. His legs felt like jelly, weak and without form. So, for the second time that night, he let himself fall onto the floor, squeezing his knees into a tight hug. Maybe, that would crush the gaping hole inside him. Maybe it would fill it, somehow. His entire body shook with anger and slipping control. Why did he ever believe in soulmates anyway? It didn’t matter how upset he was, he couldn’t bring to destroy the note. He didn’t know why he couldn’t, even though it was yet another evidence that his life was worthless and he didn’t mean anything to anyone. _‘Of course I don’t mean anything. Even my_ soulmate _hates me.’_

Virgil was tired. Tired of the world throwing shit at him. Tired of how people see him as nothing. He thought maybe, a soulmate would bring joy into his empty life. He thought maybe, a soulmate would bring a touch of color to his world. As always, the world shatter his hopes, crushing them with the weight of reality.

Virgil crawled onto his bed, tears still streaming down his now-red face. Sobs still breaking their way free from his throat. That night, Virgil cried himself to sleep like he had countless times before. However, this was the first time he had felt truly hopeless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! Thank you for reading, I am sorry this was a bit late. I have no excuse other than I was sick for a few days. Hopefully, I will be on time next week. And as always, leave a comment and kudos if you'd like.  
> \---  
> Russian vocabs in this chapter (tell me if I made a mistake):
> 
> Brateyek  
> Братик  
> [brother (in diminutive form)]
> 
> Spokoynoy nochi  
> Спокойной ночи  
> [have a peaceful night, have a goodnight]


	9. The Weird Way The Universe Works

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damien is still sad,  
> Logan is confused about his feelings,  
> Remy is worried about Virgil,  
> And Roman isn't happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that Damien listened to in the beginning is 'Fool For You' by Snoh Aalegra.  
> Listen to the song [here](https://soundcloud.com/snohaalegra/fool-for-you-1)

_‘Class starts in four hours, so I have some free time now. It’s brooding time…’_ Damien walked out of his apartment, locking the door behind him. It was a pleasant afternoon, not too sunny or too cloudy. It wasn’t too humid either. This had been Damien’s new routine ever since Patton and Logan met; he would go to the nearest coffee shop—which was the one where Patton and Logan first met—or he would visit the nearest library. When he is bored with everything, he would distract himself with magic tricks and illusions.

Damien put on his earphones and put on a song from his playlist. The first song that played didn’t help his mood. If anything, it made it worse. He kept listening, though.

 

_It's somethin' 'bout you that's so familiar_  
_Somethin' that's got me wantin' to know you_  
_And I can't put my finger on it_  
_But it feels, oh like I've been here before_

 

That’s how he felt. His head spin with an emotion that wasn’t familiar to him. He didn’t know why he kept _obsessing_ over his soulmate these past few weeks. People say, _‘you can’t miss what you never had,’_ but Damien did. He missed his soulmate even though he never met them. It was as if there was something missing in him and he was starting to feel how odd it was.

 

_It's somethin' about me that makes me wonder_  
_I swear I met you, but you're a stranger_  
_And I can't put my finger on quite what it is_  
_Oh, but I've been here before_

 

Perhaps he was just jealous with how happy his brother had been even though it was only a month after knowing Logan. Patton found his soulmate. Damien wished it was easier for him to find his. He didn't care before, but now? Now he couldn't even think about the word 'soulmate' without feeling a  _pang_ in his chest. A snap. As if whatever was there before is gone and it left a gaping hole in Damien’s soul. 

 

_And I'll be a fool for you_  
_I know myself, but I pretend_  
_I leave and I come back again_

 

Damien didn't want to admit—even to himself—that he  _somehow_ care about this whole soulmate business. To think that he once thought nothing of it was starting to sound ridiculous. He hadn't been feeling this  _dread_ —Damien wasn't actually sure what he was feeling, but ‘dread’ sounded close enough—for too long, but it felt as if the thickness of emotion was going to eat him alive and completely engulf him. 

_S_ _uffocated._  That’s what Damien was feeling. Like he couldn't escape, helplessly drowning with no one to hear his pleas. Like he couldn’t continue living, because he couldn't breath with the weight on his chest.  _Suffocated._ That’s what Damien was feeling.

 

_I'm a fool for you_  
_I love you time and time again_  
_I know just how the story ends, oh_

 

Damien was not detached from his emotions, but he always lie about it and he didn't know why he always play pretend.

Damien was tired of pretending—yes, even to himself.

 

* * *

 

Not too long, Damien was standing in front of the coffee shop— _Roast & Grind_. He pushed the door to the coffee shop and entered, forgetting all self-pitying thoughts he had earlier. The smell of coffee and sugar greeted him, making him relax a little. He always did find coffee shops to have a soothing atmosphere. It always felt as if time stops whenever Damien find himself in a place he liked. After placing his order, he looked for a sitting spot. What he didn’t expect, though, was to find Logan.

Damien approached the tall table next to the floor-to-ceiling window where Logan was sitting. He tapped Logan in the shoulder to get his attention. “Mind if I sit here?”

Upon feeling a tap on his shoulder, he turned to look over his shoulder to see Damien with arms crossed in front of his chest, his lips upturned to a slight smirk.

“Damien. Nice seeing you again. I don’t mind at all, take a seat.” Logan gestured to the empty seat across his. Damien took his seat and waited for his order to come. He had not expect to meet Logan, so he didn’t really know what to do. However, he supposed asking some questions wouldn’t be so bad. He wanted to get to know this stoic man that is his brother’s soulmate. He noticed Logan was writing something on his notebook.

“Are you working on something?” Damien asked out of genuine curiosity.

“Ah, yes. I’m have just finished it when you got here,” Logan closed the book and immediately put it in his book bag. “It’s an assignment.”

“Patton told me you’re majoring in astrophysics.”

“I am,” Logan said proudly. It wasn’t easy for him to be accepted in that major. Oh God, _so_ much mathematics and calculations and physics… Fortunately, Logan like those so it wasn’t too bad.

“How did you know I wasn’t Patton?”

“Firstly, Patton wears glasses and you don’t,” Logan started. “Secondly, I don’t think Patton would wear a beanie like you—considering that everytime we meet you’re wearing that beanie so I assume it’s your signature look then. Lastly, you greeted me with a smirk. If you were Patton you would most likely be loud when greeting me,” Logan listed his answer in a very matter-of-factly tone.

Damien huffed a laugh at Logan’s last statement. “That last one is so true. He’s always so cheerful. And, I trust you not to break him.” Damien said, a slight smile on his lips, but his tone turned more serious. He had not anticipated Logan’s answer to be very specific. Something in him became a little more content—relieved? Content? Damien didn’t know the right word for it—knowing that he could trust Logan to some degree.

“Do not worry. I wouldn’t want to hurt Patton either.”

They continued to talk for a while. Damien took note on how Logan talked about Patton. On the outside, Logan appeared cold, much like himself. However, Damien noticed that he didn’t sound like that when he talks about something he cares about. After discussing about various topics for almost an hour, they breached the topic of soulmates.

“That’s the thing with soulmate though. Once you find them you don’t really need to wait long. I mean, it’s possible for soulmates to fail, but more soulmate couples are successful. So, why not just get on with it and get to know them later?” Damien said, picking at the crumbs of his now-gone chocolate cake.

“That is true, I suppose. I do not know why dating is still a thing. Culture? Tradition? I see your point, but I would still like to get to know my soulmate before I do anything else with him.” Logan answered.

“You found your soulmate. What do you feel about him?”

Logan hesitated for a second. He felt intimidated all of a sudden. It’s not that he didn’t have an answer to Damien’s question. He liked Patton. It’s just that Logan was never good with conveying his emotion. He always avoid his emotions so he doesn’t have to deal with them. Now, faced with this question, especially by _the brother of his soulmate,_ is making it more difficult for Logan to answer. He didn’t want to say the wrong thing.

“Well,I-” Logan shifted in his seat, trying to keep eye contact with Damien. “We’re quite different, Patton and I… but I don’t mind it,” He paused, then continued after feeling his nervousness melt slowly. “He’s always so cheerful and excited about everything. It is… quite a change from my usually-quiet days. I don’t think I have a straight answer to your question, so there’s my answer for now.”

Damien had expected maybe a simple “he’s okay” or maybe another variation of “I like him.” He had not expect Logan to talk about Patton in such a way.

“You like him.” Damien stated.

“I suppose?”

“No, that wasn’t a question. I was just saying, you like Patton. Are you going to start crushing on him now?” Damien asked, teasing. This was only the third time Damien met Logan, but he already felt Patton would be okay with Logan. Logan seemed to be genuine with the way he talks about Patton and that made Damien feel safe for his brother. He knew, more than anyone, that Patton is a sensitive person. He didn’t want his brother to get hurt.

“Damien, it’s only been a month and a few days.”

“True, but he’s your soulmate. So, it’s different.”

Logan’s gaze fell to his interlaced finger on the table. Then, he looked at Damien again, who was still looking at him waiting for an answer.

“Perhaps.” Logan has a lot to think about this whole soulmate business later. “Well Damien, I have class in thirty minutes, so I have to go now. It was nice talking to you.”

“Later, nerdy buddy.” Damien waved a goodbye.

Damien looked at his phone to check on the time. Another two hours before class. _‘Maybe I should just hang around campus.’_ Then, Damien got up. He didn’t notice when his shoulder brushed onto someone as he left the coffee shop.

 

* * *

 

Remy was worried about Virgil. He had knocked on Virgil’s door that morning, but he didn’t respond to Remy’s calls. Remy didn’t have much time since he had a morning class that day, so he had to reluctantly leave Virgil alone in the apartment. It looked like Virgil was not going out of his room anytime soon.

Stepping out of the apartment, he spared Virgil’s door another brief glance and left after locking the door. Usually, Remy would shove aside any worries he had. He always thought that if you _can’t_ do anything to fix it then don’t worry and if you _can_ do something about it then don’t worry. Now though, it was different.

Walking and thinking, surprisingly, goes hand-in-hand with Remy. He had had his fair share of bad relationship from his past. Very bad. One that almost no-one knew about. He was worried that Virgil might get trapped in that kind of relationship. He seemed very upset after reading the note last night that Remy couldn’t help but worry about what was written on it. And if he ever finds that person, he would beat the shit out of them.

It was a cloudy morning. The weather seemed to reflect Remy’s state of mind. The air around him was heavy and dreadful. Remy wasn’t in his usual talkative mood. Besides, Virgil wasn’t there with him like he usually was when they have morning classes. The thought of his little cousin being in a painful relationship was frightening. The possibility of that happening made Remy fear for himself. _‘No, Remus,_ perestan' bespokoit'sya, _’_ he tried to reassure himself, but he couldn’t stop. He wasn’t ready—nor is he ever going to be ready—to relive those times. It’s too much to even think about.

Remy shook his head and took a deep breath to clear his mind. No. He was not going to go into that rabbit hole that is his dark thoughts. People usually associate Remy with excitement, jokes and sass, but people seem to forget that he can be serious when he wants to.

As he stepped into the class, he tried not to think about Virgil and his worries in favor of trying to focus on class. The class hadn’t start yet, but _‘why not get in the mood?’_ Remy thought to himself.

“Morning,” Remy heard a grumbled greeting.

“Well, you don’t seem very…” Remy vaguely gestured with one hand, looking for the right word, “... you know… _fab,_ like usual, _hun._ ”

“Well, I’m not feeling very good at the moment,” Roman said, taking on a bilious tone.

“Woah, what’s gotten into you, darling?” Remy raised an eyebrow while one of his hand lowered his sunglasses.

“It’s just this stupid-” Roman paused in the middle of his sentence, seemingly coming to a realization of who he was talking to. “Nothing, it’s just something stupid.”

“Alright then, _sestra,_ ” Remy said, as Roman settled himself next to him. He noticed the way Roman constantly shifted in his seat uncomfortably next to him. _‘Hish, is it just me or is everyone not having a good time this morning?’_

 

* * *

 

_‘_ ¡ Mierda! _He’s looking at me. Should’ve sit somewhere else. Does he know?’_ Roman shifted in his seat once again. Why did he have to choose to sit here of all places? That morning, Roman had read the note from his soulmate and he was _not_ happy. He had learned his soulmate’s name, but he did _not_ care about _any_ of that.

_‘Would that guy let Remy read the note?_ _¡Carajo! I shouldn’t have put my name. Why did I even put my name? What if Remy reads it and found out?!’_ Roman was squirming in his seat more and more frequently and it annoyed Remy.

“ _Druzhishche,_ you gotta stop doin’ that.” Remy said in his irritation. Roman mumbled a short “sorry” in response.

_‘What a_ great _morning this is,’_ Roman thought to himself.

 

* * *

 

As soon as the class was over, Remy and Roman parted ways. Remy was done for the day while Roman had another class. The day was still young, so Remy thought of doing something before he goes back to the apartment. Remy had texted Virgil before class, asking if he needed or wanted anything. Virgil only replied with a ‘leave me alone.’ So, that’s what Remy was going to do. He decided to go to the coffee shop near campus, _Roast & Grind. _ He had always liked their coffee there.

As he set his foot into the coffee shop, he shoulder brushed past someone. He looked past his shoulder to see a man with a yellow beanie exit the cafe. He paid it no mind and went to place his order. He sat at the tall table by the big window, with someone’s plate of chocolate cake crumbs.

Remy took a small journal from his messenger bag and opened it. He carefully opened to the page where he had put the yellow post-it notes. He felt lucky to not have one but two notes from his soulmate. It was written on multiple post-it notes only because his soulmate ran out of space, ranting about how freaked out they were. Remy thought it was cute. Maybe they should have wrote it on a piece of paper.

He doesn’t usually read the messages from his soulmate, he only does it when he’s feeling worried—which is to say, not often.

 

On the first one was written:

 

_Damien Harvey (21)_

_Florida, United States_

_Sanders University - economics and political science_

_(I want to be a lawyer)_

_I have a twin brother (I’m older)_

_Well, I’m sorry if you don’t speak English,_

_but it’s the only language I speak._

 

The second one reads:

 

_I was planning to write a small little thing,_

_but it looks like I’m not doing that right now._

_So, I’m in Russia. It’s insane._

_What if someone came in and decided to_

_talk to me? How am I gonna answer?_

_I don’t know why I’m ranting here, you might_

_not even understand what I’m talking about_

  
Remy didn’t let past experience stop him—although not all the scars and fear have disappeared—and he was willing to think on the bright side of what the world might give him. He could only imagine what his soulmate was like. _‘When am I going to meet him?’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, lovely readers! Thank you for reading again! I changed my uploading schedule to Fridays (The Friday of my timezone, which follows Jakarta, Indonesia) instead of Thursdays, because school have already started here and I wouldn't have much time if I upload on Thursdays and the stress would shoot my anxiety up the roof.
> 
> \---  
> Spanish stuff (tell me if I made mistakes):
> 
> ¡Mierda!  
> [Shit!]
> 
> ¡Carajo!  
> [Fuck!]  
> \---  
> Russian stuff (again, tell me if I made any mistakes):
> 
> perestan' bespokoit'sya  
> перестань беспокоиться  
> [stop worrying]
> 
> Sestra  
> Сестра  
> [Sister]
> 
> Druzhishche  
> Дружище  
> [Buddy; pal; mate]
> 
> \---  
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!  
> As always, leave a comment and feedback in the comments section - please, tell me if the pace of my story is too fast since I have very short chapters.


	10. A Trip to the Library

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil is still upset,  
> And another first meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! This chapter has lots of Russian words (some sentences too). Be sure to read the translations at the end.

It’s been a few days after Virgil had his _hour_. He couldn’t seem to get all of those events out of his head. He had been hopeful at first, thinking maybe his soulmate could just accept him, unlike everyone else who constantly shoved him away. It turned out, he thought wrong. Of course his soulmate didn’t want him. He’s nothing. Why would anyone ever want him?

“Virge, darlin’, _please._ If it upsets you then you should _totally_ talk about it. Don’t keep it to yourself.” Remy said as he scrolled mindlessly through his phone. He looked up from his phone to see Virgil scowling at him. Virgil had been incredibly upset the morning after his  _hour_ _,_ but he didn't say anything to Remy about it. Remy was worried about what might happen to the boy if he kept everything himself.  _‘_ _As if I hadn't done that in the past.’_

“Leave me alone, Rem,” Virgil said resentfully. He picked at the skin around his nails to calm himself down. He needed a distraction. He needed something to occupy his mind, so that his head doesn’t combust with rage and pain. Writing wasn’t helping. He had been staring at a blank page of his notebook, willing words to come and flow through his hands, but it didn’t happen.

Remy was getting more worried about Virgil. He saw how Virgil is curled up on the edge of the sofa, tucking himself into a tight ball that it looked like he was trying to squeeze himself. How Virgil had picked on his nails that it looked red and raw, nearly bleeding. How his eyes never fixed its gaze, shifting hurriedly form place to place as if chasing an invisible shadow. He wanted Virgil to talk about the note as it had clearly made him upset, but he didn’t want to make Virgil to be even more upset by forcing Virgil to talk.

“Rem,” Virgil started, still staring at his empty notebook. “Let’s go to the library, I need to get some books for class.” He got up and walked to his room—probably to take his stuff—and walked out the door without waiting for Remy. Remy rushed to the door and followed Virgil down the hallway of their apartment building. He understood that Virgil needed to distract himself, but it’s going to be pretty boring in the library.

 

* * *

 

It’s been an hour and thirty minutes since they arrived at the library. Remy was bored. He didn’t like books and all things related to books. He had been following Virgil around the library as Virgil looked through some _thick_ books. Like, _really_ thick. Virgil had been mumbling under his breath, listing the names of classic authors—Leo Tolstoy, Virginia Woolf, Charles Dickens, _et cetera_ —while looking through their works.

“Virge, when are you gonna be done with all this? There are _so many._ _Mne skuchno,_ ” Remy complained again for the hundredth time. He had started to get louder starting fifteen minutes ago and they could get in trouble with that kind of volume in a library.

“Shut up, Rem! You’re gonna get us kicked out,” Virgil protested.

“Sure, hope that happens right about now. I want out of this place,” Remy said carelessly, earning a glare from Virgil. “What?!” Remy continued, “besides, _milaya_ , I don’t wanna be here, so _don’t_ you _dare_ blame me.”

Virgil furrowed his brows in frustration and let out a sigh. Remy is always exasperating when he’s stressed. “You know what, you can sit at the table there,” Virgil pointed at the long table in the middle of the library, “and wait for me.”

Remy rolled his eyes, but did as he was told. He would rather sit than wasting energy walking around. He walked to the table and sat near the end of the table. He had been to the campus library before, but he hadn’t observed much of it. It had three floors with the second and third level having an open middle, so people could look down directly to the first level. The ceiling was very high and domed at the top, giving the whole space an even more spacious feel. There were big shelves of books throughout the first and second level of the library, while the third housed a collection of documentaries and the likes. The big bookshelves, on the first level especially, were placed strategically to form narrow aisles. The enormous table in the middle of the library was made of solid wood. It reminded Remy of royal dining tables in movies.

Remy settled into the chair quietly, letting all his thoughts pass. He reached into his bag, taking out his phone. There wasn’t anything exciting online either, so he just scrolled through his social media apps aimlessly.

 

* * *

 

Damien didn’t really know why he was there. That evening, Patton and Logan had another outing and—for some unknown reason—Patton had dragged Damien along with him. So, now he was stuck third-wheeling Patton and Logan.

“Pat, you’re being ridiculous. I can’t go on a _date_ -”

“Not a date,” Patton interrupted his sentence.

“-whatever, because then I’d be third-wheeling and Logan would be uncomfortable.”

“Awww, c’mon Dee! I want to have fun with you, too. Logan said he was okay with it.”

Damien was still unsure… until Patton pulled his puppy-eyes on him.

“Pleeeeease… just this once!” Patton begged. He looked down at the cannoli he was eating and looked back at Damien with an innocent smile, “I _cannoli_ be happy when I’m with you.” Damien let out a small groan—which Patton ignored—and still with his puppy-eyes, he looked right into Damien’s eyes with hope. Damien huffed out a sigh. Only the devil could resist Patton’s puppy-eyes.

So, now there he was, having a not-so-great time. If he was going to be honest—he wasn't—it wasn’t too bad at the beginning of their outing. Patton and Logan included him in their conversation and activities in general. As time goes by however, Damien was pushed aside more and more. Now, he had been ignored for nearly an hour, Damien thought that if he walked away they wouldn’t notice.

The perk of third-wheeling Patton and Logan, however, was that he got to see their interactions. Damien, observing all the details of their interactions, would notice when they brush their hands against each other. And their cheeks would turn a little rosy when one of them say something nice to the other. He would notice how Logan’s voice would soften at times and how Patton's smile would brighten a little more. Damien didn’t know whether he should be jealous or disgusted. Unknown to the other two, Damien was hiding the aching feeling in his chest with a face of indifference.  _'They're so happy,'_  he thought, pondering if he would ever be like that. He shook the thought away, trying not to obsess over his soulmate.  _'Stop being so_ pathetic  _would you?'_

Now Damien is already tired of seeing them being all _sweet_ and _cute._ He wanted to be alone. _‘What if I just told them I’m not feeling well, then I can escape to the coffee shop. Or I could go home and-’_

Damien’s train of thought was cut off by Logan saying, “Could we go to the campus library while we are here? It seems we are going to pass by it anyway, so I thought I could get some books from the library.” Upon the mention of going to the library, Damien immediately perked up. He didn’t actually know why he liked the campus library so much, he didn’t even read that much. The library had always felt so soothing to him. Maybe, it was because of the quiet and calm atmosphere that the library had.

“Let’s go!” Damien exclaimed from behind Logan and Patton. Logan and Patton looked behind their shoulders, looking surprised, seemingly forgotten that Damien was there with them. Damien didn’t pay them any attention, immediately barging towards the library. He quickened his pace as the library came into view. Damien paused once he reached the entrance of the library to look over to where Logan and Patton were. “Come on, guys!” Once they were at the foyer, Damien didn’t bother waiting for them and practically zoomed into the building.

Damien found his usual sitting spot at the end of the big table in the middle of the library, closer to the window. Usually, he would prefer to sit on the beanbags that are placed right by the windows when it was sunny. It was getting dark outside now, so Damien preferred the table. He looked back at the entrance of the library finding no trace of Logan or Patton. _‘They’ll prob’ly text me later. Or if they’re gonna leave me here, that’s even better.’_ Damien thought to himself and pulled out his phone.

 

* * *

 

Remy had been waiting for awhile now. He was getting bored again. He set his phone down and looked out the window. It was getting dark. The sky had turned to a purplish hue and the trees outside had become dark silhouettes. Now that he wasn’t constantly complaining, he could finally feel the atmosphere of the library. Remy found it surprisingly nice. The quiet is calming—it wasn’t _entirely_ quiet, so it wasn’t a freaky kind of quiet. He could hear the rustles of pages being turned, the sound of dull footsteps on wooden floor and hushed discussion. He took a deep breath, the rush of air cleared his head from his boredom—just a little.

As he looked towards the windows again, he noticed there was a guy around his age pulling a chair and sitting at the opposite side of the table. He was wearing a yellow beanie, dark grey jacket and black jeans. Looking from the side, Remy thought, _‘He looks familiar… like…_ really _familiar…’_ Remy furrowed his brows in concentration, trying to remember anyone that could remind him of this person. _‘_ Oy, _Remus,_ chto sluchilos' s ty _?!’_ Remy questioned—and insulted—himself while trying to figure out who this person is. He swore he knew who that is.

Remy slowly got up from his seat, so as to not make any noise, and slipped into the maze of bookshelves. He carefully spied on the mystery man from behind rows of books, occasionally pretending to be interested in a book when someone is standing or walking near him so he doesn’t look like he’s just snooping around. Remy kept his eyes on ‘the guy’—as his brain calls him—while he weaved his way through the bookshelves, getting closer to where ‘the guy’ was sitting.

Unfortunately, Remy had been too focused on observing ‘the guy’ rather than where he was actually going, so he accidentally knocked some books with his head as he turned on a corner. ‘The guy’ looked up from his phone, most likely because he heard the noise of books falling.

Fortunately, Remy was quick enough to duck his head so that ‘the guy’ wouldn’t be able to see him. To add to his luck, he had seen a flash of mismatched eyes. The pair of eyes that he would recognize anywhere. _‘_ O Bozhe… Blyad’! _What am I gonna do?’_ Remy felt an uncomfortable heat on his back and face. He had to hold onto one of the bookshelves to stop himself from shaking. His breathing became more rapid, his chest rising and falling quickly.

The memories of two years ago flooded Remy’s mind. A reminder of a failure in the past. _‘_ Vot der’mo _, I can’t do this._ Eto ne mozhet povtorit'sya… _’_ The memories came rushing, but he pushed it away. _‘No, no, no. Stop it! Stop that! I’m gonna be fine. Just gotta give it a shot.’_

Remy took the time to calm himself down until he can breath properly again. He looked at ‘the guy’ once again. His soulmate. His soulmate is sitting right there and he wasn’t about to turn away. He made sure that it was indeed his soulmate. It would be awkward if he approached a stranger assuming they were his soulmate and turns out they weren’t. His lips was upturned to a small smile. He could do this.

Now that the panic is somewhat under control, Remy could feel excitement starting to bloom in his chest, leaving him feeling a little fidgety. He took a deep breath once again and steeled himself. With a mask of confidence, he walked over. He pulled the chair _right_ across ‘the guy’ and sat down.

 

* * *

 

Damien looked up to see a man pulled a chair _right_ across his seat. Why can’t the world just leave him in peace for just _two seconds_. First, he had been forced to third-wheel his brother. Now, he had to deal with this idiot who could have sat anywhere _but_ in front of him. He just wanted to be left alone. _‘There’s literally fifty other chairs at this table,’_ Damien thought grumpily, brows knitted together in annoyance.

He was surprised, however, when this guy took off his sunglasses—who _the fuck_ wears sunglasses indoors, _in the evening_ —revealing pale green eyes. Damien’s face shifted to a shocked expression; mouth slightly ajar, his eyes wide and unblinking. This could not be real. This could _not_ possibly be real. No, his soulmate is in Russia. _‘I’m being too obsessive, I’m just dreaming,’_ Damien convinced himself—and failing. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.  _'Is this real?'_ He kept asking himself.

Damien sat back on the chair, blinking rapidly and biting his lips to stop himself from breaking down. He wanted this. He had been waiting for this for what felt to be _so long_. Damien had to restrain himself from reaching out to touch, to see if it was real or whether it was just his sick imagination playing a sick joke on him. 

His soulmate—Remus, he remembered from the note—leaned his head to one side, supporting it with one hand and gave Damien a half-smile-half-smirk. The corner of his eye crinkled a little. He blinked once before saying, “ _Ey, milashka._ ”

Damien was going to lose it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, lovely readers!! Thanks again for reading! It's an EARLY update!! Hopefully, I can still update the next chapter on Friday next week.
> 
> Can anyone guess what happened to Remy? Why is he scared? Though, I should say that it's very obvious.  
> \---  
> Russian stuff (please, tell me if I made any mistakes):
> 
> Mne skuchno  
> Мне скучно  
> [I am bored]
> 
> Milaya  
> милая  
> [honey; sweetie]
> 
> chto sluchilos' s ty  
> что случилось с ты  
> [what is wrong with you; what happened to you]
> 
> O Bozhe  
> О Боже  
> [Oh my God; Oh God]
> 
> Blyad'  
> Блядь  
> [fuck]
> 
> Vot der'mo  
> Вот дерьмо  
> [Oh shit]
> 
> Eto ne mozhet povtorit'sya  
> Это не может повториться  
> [This/it cannot happen again]
> 
> Ey, milashka  
> Эй милашка  
> [Hey, cutie]  
> \---  
> I headcannon that Russian Remy would lecture himself using Russian a lot, since that's his actual first language in this AU.


	11. Soulmates Are Hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot happened in the library

Logan and Patton was surprised when they heard Damien’s exclamation of excitement about going to the library. They both have forgotten that Damien was there with them. Patton felt bad for that. He thought that by inviting his brother would have made him happier. He didn’t expect _himself_ to forget about his brother. Logan was bewildered with Damien’s excitement of going to the library. To Logan, Damien didn’t seem to be the type to like reading very much.

When they entered the library, they saw Damien was already looking cozy on the chair at the giant table in the middle of the library. Logan was about to approach Damien when Patton pulled him by the sleeve. “Let him be, I think he wants to be alone.” Patton made a mental note to talk to his brother later.

A few moments later, Logan and Patton were in the aisles of the big bookshelves. Logan would skim through the sections of books in the bookshelves, looking for astronomy books. Patton would follow Logan every turn he took. After a few minutes, Logan found the astronomy section.

“What books are you looking for?” Patton asked, his hands drag lightly along the book spines.

“Just some books for class. Beside that, I also do my own private studies. So, I just study anything else relating to the topic discussed in class that _isn’t_ taught in class,” Logan answered absentmindedly while still looking through the numerous books he pulled out from the shelves.

“And what are those?” Patton asked.

“Lots of different things. Right now, for fun, I am studying about black holes. Nothing too specific. Just fun facts of sorts. For example, did you know that black hole has a very strong gravitational pull that not even light escapes?” Logan was starting to get into that ‘teaching mode’ as Patton called it. Patton was starting to like that look on Logan.

Logan didn’t wait for Patton to answer and continued his chatter. “That would mean that if you were to be sucked into a black hole, people seeing you from afar would not see you disappear into the black hole. They would, instead see you stop moving in space and your ‘image’ would become more translucent and disappear. So it appears as though you turn to dust.”

“That sounds horrible Logan,” Patton said with a slight grimace. Logan only responded with a shrug. Patton liked listening and watching Logan talk even though sometimes he doesn’t understand anything that Logan talks about. Though this time it felt different than when they were at the planetarium a few weeks ago. Somehow, it feels more exciting now. Every time Logan talks to him, Patton would feel a warm feeling in his chest and he would find himself smiling a lot more often. The more Logan talks, the more Patton would get interested, even if he wasn’t before.

“Logan, all stars die right?” Patton asked. “What happens to our sun when it dies?”

Logan didn’t expect the sudden question from Patton, but he admit that he liked that Patton actually pay attention to what he talks about. Usually, Logan notices that his continuous chatter would often bore people. However, Patton actually listens and he seemed to appreciate Logan’s interest.

“Well, usually when big stars die they would explode. Essentially, the center of the star would collapse in on itself and form the explosion.” Logan set his eyes on Patton. He looked at how Patton was paying attention to what he was saying. His brows furrow slightly and his nose scrunched in thought. Logan continued his explanation, “The explosion would send star particles into space. The core of the star now becomes denser because it collapsed, then it…” Logan’s voice became more hushed and low and he finally drift off in the middle of the sentence. He was still looking at Patton, taking in his features. His small smile, his eyes shining with joy and his muted bubbly attitude—though he was still bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“And then it what Logan?” Patton asked, seemingly confused as to why Logan stopped in the middle of his sentence.

Realizing what he was doing, Logan cleared his throat. A tint of red colored his cheeks and nose. “How about we sit on the sofa there—” Logan pointed at the sofa at the corner of the library—“and continue this conversation there.” Logan didn’t wait for a reply and began walking towards the cluster of sofas. Patton was still confused, but he followed anyway.

 _‘God, Logan! You embarrassed yourself in front of Patton! How could you do that to yourself?’_ Logan thought to himself as he walked to the reading area. Then, he wondered why he cared about what Patton thought of him. He didn’t usually care about how other people see him. So why did he care now? _‘Why do I care?’_ Logan repeated the question in his head.

This realization brought the event of a few weeks ago back to Logan’s mind. His conversation with Damien had been quite interesting, especially how they view soulmates and relationships.

 _“Are you going to start crushing on him now?”_ Damien had said.

Logan didn’t like the thought. He was not ready for that yet. He didn’t know how to deal with his _messy_ emotions. Logan knew, just like any other person, he has emotions. He chose to ignore them though, because he didn’t know what to do with them. He immediately pushed these thoughts to the back of his mind to debate on another day. _‘Not now.’_

 

* * *

 

Damien was still in shock. Of course he was. He couldn’t believe his eyes. He thought it would take him _years_ before he found his soulmate, but now his soulmate is sitting here, _right_ in front of him. Damien couldn’t believe it. Suddenly, he wasn’t sure what he wanted anymore. Damien knew that he wasn’t good with people. He didn’t want to mess things up. But, he still wanted to try.

Remy’s staged smile-smirk became a genuine one as he watch Damien’s face morphed into shock. _‘Wow, this guy is so much cuter when I don’t see him from a mirror.”_ Remy thought as he remembered his _hour._ His smirk widened when Damien laid himself back on the chair. Remy had a feeling that his soulmate might be having a moment.

“Sooo…” Remy finally said, breaking the thick silence between the two.

Remy’s voice snapped Damien out of his daze. He quickly regained his composure and cleared his throat. “Um… sorry I was-I was just… surprised.” Emotions flickered in his eyes, but his face doesn’t show it. Damien’s eyes darted around the library and back to the person in front of him. His soulmate. “You know… you could’ve mistaken me for my twin, right?”

“Oh. _Whoops_ , totally forgot about that. That would’ve been _real_ awkward.” Remy remembered a mention of twins in the note from his soulmate.

“Yeah…” Damien managed a small reply.

Silence fell between the two once again. The silence was awkward and uncomfortable. They both wanted to do something, but they couldn’t. They both wanted to say something, but they didn’t know what to say. This time, Damien broke the silence with a topic that both of them were clearly avoiding.

“So, um… soulmate, huh?” Damien said shily. _Damn_ his emotions. Damien didn’t hate his feelings. He just didn’t know how to process them. So, most times he tries not to show it. Though he doesn’t avoid his emotions, it can sometimes be very frustrating. Like right now.

Remy flashed a smile back at Damien when he heard Damien asked the question hesitantly. Remy wasn’t usually awkward. He was always _super extra™_ and he was always good with people. Now though, he didn’t know why he was a shy mess. So, he decided to be bold and do something that he thought Damien wouldn’t expect him to do.

Remy straighten himself and leaned forward on the table. “So, you read a lot?” He gestured vaguely to the surrounding library. His words were innocent enough, but his lowered voice and smirk suggested otherwise.

Damien quirked an eyebrow. _‘Is he… what is he trying to do?’_ He felt a wave of warmth rushed to his face. _‘Alright, payback time.’_ Damien smiled confidently.

“Oh, I don’t read a lot. I was just bored, so I came here.” Following Remy’s action, he leaned forward on the table and continued. “How ‘bout you?—” He lowered his voice, raised an eyebrow and flashed a mischievous smirk—“I thought it would make more sense for a work of art like you to end up in a museum.” Damien leaned back on his chair and he smirked smugly when he saw Remy’s face turned a deep shade of red.

Remy leaned back on his seat and narrowed his eyes. “Hmm… _U tebya horoshiy vkus_ ” He said smoothly, knowing Damien wouldn’t understand. His lips pulled into a slight smile when he saw Damien’s confused look.

“Sorry,” Remy started again, “but I don’t think I got your name.” Though Remy knew he could just read the note—which he didn’t need, because he already memorize his soulmate’s name after the first time of reading the note.

“Damien Harvey,” Damien said suspiciously.

“Damien, huh?” Remy quirked a brow and threw an innocent smile. “ _Cute_ name,” he paused for a second. Damien gave him a challenging look which said _‘is that all you got?’_ , but Remy wasn’t done. “It goes with your face.” Remy tilted his head a little.

It was an innocent comment, but Damien was still somehow surprised. A band of red was painted across his face. Damien bravely slid his foot to nudge on Remy’s, raising an eyebrow while doing it. Remy nudged back with a smile. Remy couldn’t help but laugh at Damien’s still-blushing face.

“Remus Galanicheff,” Remy said, breaking their flirting game. “Just call me Remy, though. Remus is too hard for you Americans.” Now it was Damien’s turn to laugh.

 

* * *

 

Virgil already had all the books he needed. He didn't know what to do now. He really didn’t want to go back to the apartment. He wanted to be left alone, but he didn’t want to lock himself in his room because that’s where he had found the note and it was too painful of a reminder. He wanted to mention the note to Remy, but he didn’t know if he should. He didn’t want to tell Remy how he felt.

Virgil decided to look for Remy and maybe drag him somewhere, because he knew from experience that if Remy was left alone for more than thirty minutes he’ll get bored. When Remy is bored, he would either cause chaos—by pulling pranks on people—or act like a big bitch. So, Virgil made his way back to the middle of the library to the table where he left Remy.

When Virgil got to the table though, he didn’t expect Remy to be talking to a guy. Virgil knew that Remy was always good with people, but he didn’t expect Remy to actually have a full-on conversation with another person. He didn’t know whether he should approach them or not. _‘They seem to be having fun.’_

Virgil decided to approach the pair. He walked to where Remy was sitting and cleared his throat to get their attention.

“I’m done with the books.” Virgil said, eyes trained on the shelves instead of on Remy.

“Alright then. Virge, this is Damien,” Remy said gesturing towards the person sitting in front of him. “He’s my-” Remy cut himself off. Virgil gave him a look of confusion.

“Um…” Remy hesitated. Remy looked up to see Damien, brows furrowed. “He’s my soulmate.” Remy finished, still looking at Damien. Then, he averted his gaze to Virgil.

Virgil bit his lip and blink a few times. “You know what, I’ll just leave. Text me later, yeah?” Virgil turned to walk away. After talking a few steps, he found Remy walking next to him. Virgil stopped in his track. “What?” His voice held no malice, though anger was churning in his stomach.

“ _S toboy vse v poryadke?_ ” Remy asked with concern.

“ _Ostav' menya v pokoye,_ ” Virgil said flatly and walked out of the library.

About twenty minutes later, Virgil was at his apartment door. He didn’t want to be at the apartment before, but now he just wanted to bury himself in blankets. When he sat down on his bed, he didn’t know what to think. Remy found his soulmate. He’s going to be just like everyone else and cast him aside now that he found his soulmate, because he doesn’t need Virgil anymore.

A single tear drop escaped Virgil’s eyelid. Then another. Virgil took a deep breath and sighed. He changed into his pajamas—a black t-shirt and sweatpants—and climb to bed. He buried his head under his blanket, wanting to forget everything.

 

* * *

 

Remy walked back to his seat, not feeling as great as he had before. How could he have forgotten about Virgil’s soulmate? He didn’t know a lot about what happened. He knew it was the note. But he didn’t know what is _actually_ happening. All he knew was that Virgil was having a problem with his soulmate.

“What happened?” Damien asked.

“That was Virgil, my cousin. He’s having a problem with his soulmate. So he’s not feeling great now.” Remy said with a somber expression.

“You should go to him.” Damien suggested.

“He wanted to be left alone.”

“Okay. Do you want to find my brother? He’s around here somewhere.” Damien said again, wanting to take Remy’s mind off of his worries.

“Sure.” A smile graced Remy’s lips.  _‘Eto ne tak plokho,’_ He thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading!! Leave a comment if you want. Your feedback helps me to write better.  
> \---  
> Russian stuff (correct if I made any mistake):
> 
> У тебя хороший вкус  
> U tebya horoshiy vkus  
> [You have good taste]
> 
> С тобой все в порядке?  
> S toboy vse v poryadke?  
> [Are you alright]
> 
> Оставь меня в покое  
> Ostav' menya v pokoye  
> [Leave me alone]
> 
> это не так плохо  
> eto ne tak plokho  
> [this isn't so bad]


	12. From Saint Petersburg to Florida

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remy tells Virgil about his 'hour'

Virgil woke up to the dim light of the sun going through his window. It was still seven in the morning, the world had just woken up. He had always liked looking at the shadows in the morning. The shadow of the trees outside would dance around the wall. It was usually relaxing. That morning, Virgil didn’t—couldn’t—feel the warmth of the sun or see the brightness of the morning. It was cold and silent. He shifted in his bed, trying to get deeper into the covers. He tried to go back to sleep, but he couldn’t. His mind would drift to his trip with Remy to the library.

Remy found his soulmate. Virgil thought he looked so happy. Virgil didn’t want to ruin that for his cousin… but he didn’t want to be left alone. Now that Remy found his soulmate, he wouldn’t need Virgil to keep him company anymore and Virgil would go back to being the weird anti-social emo. _‘Yeah, of course. Anyone who wants to be around me is an idiot.’_

Virgil didn’t feel like getting up, but he had to. He had class at eleven a.m. later, so he needed to get some work done. His brain was still half-asleep as he drag himself to the bathroom. After washing his face, brushing his teeth and applying his usual make up, Virgil went to the kitchen. Coffee first.

“ _Dobroye utro!_ ” Virgil jumped at Remy’s sudden appearance—and loud exclamation.

“ _Geez,_ since when are you a morning person?”

“I’m not,” Remy leaned on the kitchen counter, watching Virgil work the coffee machine. “I’m just, y’know, excited.” He sighed, suddenly looking… worried?

Virgil crossed his arms on his chest, concern etched on his face. “You good Rem?” Virgil asked cautiously, thinking what might be wrong. He had been so happy just a second ago. _‘Please don’t kick me out. Please don’t kick me out.’_ Virgil repeated in his head. He was scared that his fears might come true—that Remy didn’t want to have anything to do with Virgil anymore, that Remy might reject him.

“Yeah, _girl,_ I’m fine! Now, I think I need to tell you something.” Remy fixed on a bright smile, his eyes wrinkled behind his sunglasses.

 _‘Oh wow, this is it. He’s gonna-’_ Virgil’s train of thought was abruptly interrupted.

“I, like, promised that I’ll tell you about my _hour_ once you have yours. Y’still wanna hear ‘bout it, _brateyek_?”

“Oh, um, yeah. Okay.” Virgil let out a long, relieved sigh. However, he didn’t actually want to hear Remy’s _hour_ either. It’s not that he didn’t want to know. He did, but talking about soulmates is exhausting. Virgil didn’t want to think about how his soulmate practically _rejected_ him without ever knowing him. But, Virgil thought that he might as well listen to the story since he didn’t want to ruin Remy's mood. Besides, class won't start until four more hours anyway.

After Virgil was done making coffee, he dragged Virgil onto the couch. He plucked the mug of coffee from Virgil’s hand and took a large, obnoxiously loud sip—which earned him a deadly glare from his cousin. He put the mug on the table and leaned himself back on the couch with a smile.

“Alright, where do I start…” Remy began his story.

 

* * *

 

Remy woke up with a jolt. He thought he was having a really weird dream. He was by the ocean, not doing anything in particular. Then he was suddenly on a cliff and something pushed him off. He fell. Falling, falling slowly. And…

And he was awake.

Remy checked the alarm clock on his bedside table. _23:59._ Why was he awake again? Ah, right, nightmare. The more Remy thought about it, the less it seemed like a nightmare, but more like a really weird dream. He wasn’t scared. He was never scared in his dreams, even though sometimes he found himself in a dangerous situation. He was always calm.

The clock continued ticking.  _Tick, tock, tick, tock..._ The rhythmic beat of the clock almost lulled Remy back to sleep. Almost.

Suddenly, Remy felt a dull, throbbing pain at the back of his head. It felt as if someone had taken a heavy book and bashed it on the back of his head. He closed his eyes again, trying to will the pain to go away. For a few seconds it worked. Then, it was back. The pain crawled its way up to the front of his head.

Then it was gone.

Remy opened his eyes again and he was greeted by a _very bizarre_ sight. It was bright, and it was especially bright considering that a second ago he was lying in the dark. _‘`Tchyo za ga`lima…? Am I dreaming?’_ Remy was still half asleep and his brain was not functioning. That’s what you get for being a heavy sleeper.

Remy was sitting of the sofa of a cafe. There was a cup of coffee in front of him that looked like whoever bought it had barely touched it. Next to it was a phone. He could hear rustles of paper from the girl reading a book a few tables away. He could smell the faint muted scent of coffee. He could feel the gentle breeze from the air conditioner. It was very nice and he liked it. It was then that he realized outside was still pretty bright. _‘Wasn’t it midnight?’_

Remy took the phone to check the time. _17:00. ‘Well, that’s weird.’_ He stared at the lock screen of the phone and noticed the date written under the time. It was a day earlier than it should be. _‘Alright, what the actual fuck… Oh…’_ A sudden thought crossed Remy’s mind. He immediately unlocked the phone using fingerprint and checked his location. _Florida._ _‘Alright, that confirms my theory of me not being in Russia… now, how in the hell did I get here?’_ Remy wasn’t a person who freaked out much, but _anyone_ would absolutely freak out if they wake up and find themselves in a different continent.

 _‘What’s happening?’_ Remy finally took a sip of the coffee in front of him, his brain working on auto-pilot. _‘Is it…_ O Bozhe… _’_ Of course it was _the hour_. Remy had just turned nineteen, so it made sense. How did he not realize that sooner?

After he realized that he was, in fact, having his _hour,_ Remy didn’t know what to do. He was freaking out internally, but he had to keep his cool since he was in a public setting. As the caffeine from the coffee started to kick in, he could finally start to process what was happening. The whole thing made him both excited and scared. _‘Alright, I need the bathroom,_ right now! _’_

Remy got up from his seat, walking to the bathroom with anticipation. _‘Why did I come to the bathroom again? Ah, right, okay.’_ He walked to the mirror and _stared._ The mirror was big and he could see half of his—his soulmate’s—body.

“ _On goryachiy..._ ” Remy whispered to himself. He could definitely see himself with this guy.

He was wearing a yellow t-shirt with a black bomber jacket and a royal-yellow beanie with the word ‘cyber’ written across it in black. Remy looked down to see black pants and black sneakers. He could see the defined jawline and he couldn’t help himself but trail his finger over it. He brought his hand to his chest. He could feel some mass of muscle in there. He moved his hand down to his stomach, feeling the lines of the subtle muscles underneath. This guy didn’t have raging abs, _but he sure was hot._

Remy looked at the mirror once again. Those eyes. _‘Heterochromia…’_ Remy vaguely noted. The left eye was a warm honey color, almost golden. The right eye was a striking grey. Remy was glad no one was in the bathroom with him, because he couldn’t suppress the squeal that escaped his throat. Oh, Holy Mother of God! This guy is his soulmate!

Suddenly, the events of a month ago came back to him. His hands trembled at the memory. _‘Nope. You big brain, don’t you start! Not today! Not ever!_ _NO_ , _MA’AM!’_ Remy lectured himself. He took a deep breath and gave his reflection a nod. Then, he walked back to his seat—oh look the coffee is still there.

A thought flashed in Remy’s mind. His soulmate must be in Saint Petersburg right now. It was midnight there. And Remy himself was in Florida. _‘How long would it take for us to find each other?’_ Remy had a feeling that neither of them would be patient, _‘at least,_ I’m _not.’_ He took another sip of coffee. He had to note what the cafe was, the coffee was nice.

It was bizarre. People normally have their _hour_ at home, at midnight, when no one else was there to see it happening. Remy’s _hour_ was very different. He wasn’t even in a private place, there are people all around him. It was a good thing that his soulmate was in the coffee shop alone. If there were other people with him, Remy would’ve panicked. Remy went to the counter and asked for a pen and paper.

It was a weird experience for Remy, who usually speak Russian to switch into English. It’s not that he didn’t speak English, he actually spoke perfect American English (complete with an American accent) because he learned English from his cousin, Virgil who lived in the United States. It was weird because he normally only speak English to himself.

Once the pen and paper were in his hands, he went to sit again and wrote a small note.

 

_Remus Galanicheff (19)_

_Yes, I’m Russian. And yes, I speak English._

 

Remy had to add that detail in case his soulmate freaked out—which was a very likely case.

 

_See you whenever I’ll see you._

 

Remy didn’t want to make any promises. He didn’t write ‘see you soon’ or something of the like, because he didn’t want to give a false hope. It could have been years before they actually meet. Remy didn’t write anything else. He wanted to keep his soulmate guessing.

Remy checked the time again. Five more minutes. He still had time to do something. Remy didn’t actually know what he wanted to do, so he just observe the coffee shop. It’ll probably a while for him to see this place again—if he ever will again. He took note of the smell, fresh coffee and chocolate cake. He took note of the sound, the muted voices of people talking and the dull thuds of footsteps. Remy toyed with the note paper in his finger. That’s when he decided to add something else to the note.

 

терпение, дорогая

_terpeniye, dorogaya_

 

Remy wrote it in the back of the first note, writing in small letters. He hoped his soulmate will find the “secret” message and maybe find the translation.

Suddenly, Remy felt a familiar pain in the back of his head. He tried to resist. He didn’t want to leave yet, but there was nothing he could do. He closed his eyes, waiting for the headache to subside.

Then, he was on his bed again. The clock read _01:00._

 

* * *

 

“It’s only been a few months after my _hour_ now. I thought it would be years before I met him,” Remy said, concluding his story. He took the coffee from Virgil’s hand again—which he already drank about half of the mug—and took a large gulp, shoving it back into Virgil’s hands.

Virgil only nodded a few times during Remy’s story-telling. He didn’t know what to say. Remy had said he was scared, which was odd considering that Remy was always so confident. _‘Though everyone has their odd times,’_ Virgil thought. It was nice seeing Remy so happy. Usually Remy is a big ball of sass, but this time it looked like genuine joy was radiating off of him. _‘I guess some people are lucky enough to have a loving soulmate.’_

“What are you gonna do now?” Virgil asked, holding his mug of coffee close to his chest. He felt so small. Seeing Remy so happy made Virgil insecure. Will he ever find that kind of happiness in his life. Forget soulmates, is he ever be _that happy_ in general?

“Well, I don’t got no class t’day. So, I might just hang out with you, but let’s not stay in the apartment and actually _go out_. Get some sunlight for that vampire skin of yours,” Remy exclaimed cheerfully, getting up from his seat on the sofa. Remy pulled Virgil by the back of his shirt, making him stand up with force and pushed him lightly in the direction of his room. “Get, your stuff, _girl._ ”

“Fine.” Virgil walked back into his room to get his stuff. _‘It’s gonna be a long day.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I am SO SORRY that I uploaded this four days late. It was my birthday on Wednesday, so I had some things to do which left me no time to write. And then, I had to go to Bali for a family emergency.
> 
> Thanks for being patient with me and thank you for reading! Hope you like this one. Hopefully I'll still be able to upload this Friday.  
> \---  
> Russian stuff (please correct me if I made any mistakes):
> 
> Доброе утро!  
> Dobroye utro!  
> [Good morning!]
> 
> Brateyek  
> Братик  
> [brother (in diminutive form)]
> 
> Чё за галима  
> Tchyo za ga`lima?  
> [What the fuck?]
> 
> O Bozhe  
> О Боже  
> [Oh my God; Oh God]
> 
> Он горячий  
> On goryachiy  
> [He's hot]


	13. Cupid Fucked Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman is angry,  
> Virgil is angry  
> Remy and Logan are confused and worried.

Logan have warned Roman numerous times about taking care of himself. He almost never listened. Roman hated going to the supermarket. Usually, he would just buy whatever he needs in an insane quantity, so he doesn’t have to shop again until the next month. Most times, he would forget he bought certain things and whatever it was that he bought would end up unusable at the end of the month. Which was a waste of money!

Now, it’s time for shopping again. Roman hated shopping—unless it was for clothing or anything like that.

It was still early in the morning, it’s quite warm outside and the sky was clear. Perfect. He didn’t have class that day, so he planned on staying in his room until noon to write his theater project. However, after seeing that he had run out of food—not even a grain of coffee was in the kitchen—he had to drag himself out the door. He had to drive there, because he knew he wouldn’t be able to carry all his stuff by hand.

A gust of wind blew on his face as he entered the store. He took out his phone to look at the shopping list that he had lazily put together that morning. Browsing through the aisles mindlessly, he added all the stuff he need into the shopping cart. As he moved from one aisle to another, he saw something that made his brain burn with both anxiety and anger.

 

* * *

 

They’ve been outside for an hour and a half. Remy was being loud again, but it didn’t matter because the sound of the city drowns his voice—a little bit. He had dragged Virgil to _Roast & Grind _ to buy coffee and then they went to the park. They didn’t do anything there, just strolling around. Virgil was quiet the whole time while his beloved cousin rambled on about nothing.

Somehow, they ended up in a supermarket, buying snacks. Virgil didn’t mind the supermarket. It was nicer than any of the places Remy had brought him to that morning. The Russian boys always find the supermarket a fun place for some reason. They always cause mischief, big enough that they could annoy some people, but small enough of a trouble that they could get away with it. One time, Virgil made Remy put four bags of glitters on the fruits and vegetables section. People were so confused when they saw their fresh produce were _glamorous_. They were pretty sure that was probably a health hazard.

This time, Remy made Virgil dump two whole bags of candies into the flour in the bulk section of the supermarket. It was funny watching people’s faces when they find candy treasures clumped in their flour. One lady tried to take all the candies out, but it was a sticky situation. She gave up eventually, throwing the scoop into the container in frustration, which made a puff of flour flew onto herself. It made her more furious.

“I’m getting some cereals,” Virgil said, snickering and walked to the cereal aisle. Remy followed him, still laughing at the lady’s misfortune.

Once they were on the cereal aisle they picked their cereals. They didn’t bring enough money with them, so they could only choose one. Virgil preferred Honey Bunches of Oats, while Remy opted the classic Froot Loops. It was one or the other, not both. They debated on who will win—which one of them gets to bring their favorite cereal home.

“I picked first, so I’m _totally_ getting this,” Remy insisted, hugging the cereal box onto his chest. He narrowed his eyes as a show of threat, but his sunglasses blocked them.

“What?! I’m the one paying, so it should be mine,” Virgil argued, tilting his head to the side, as if _that_ sealed a deal between them.

“Okay, fair enough. Next time it’s my turn, Virge.”

As they turned to leave the cereal aisle, Remy’s eyes found someone familiar looking at them.

“Oh hey, _girl._ What ya ‘doin?”

 

* * *

 

Roman’s eyes widened when he heard Remy speak to him. He was about to turn around, but it was too late. Remy was already walking towards him. _‘Does this guy ever take off those sunglasses?’_ He hesitantly looked over Remy’s shoulder to see the other guy who was with Remy. Yup, it’s _him._

“Virge! C’mere, it’s my friend, Roman.”

 _‘Shit! shit! Shit! ¡Carajo! That’s_ him. _’_ Roman had to put a face of indifference to avoid suspicion from Remy.

While Roman was having an internal panic, Virgil was much the same, though he did a much worse job of hiding it. He stood frozen as Remy walked closer to _him._ Apparently Remy knows his soulmate? He didn’t realize how _easy_ it was to recognize his soulmate and what’s more infuriating was that this guy was a literal living embodiment of a Leonardo Da Vinci painting. A sudden wave of anger flooded his chest. What did he ever do to this guy that made him _hate_ Virgil?! They didn’t even know each other! Virgil shoved his tightly-clenched fists into the pockets of his hoodie. He’s going out of there.

As he turned his back to walk away, Remy called out to him. His anger rose up quickly and frustration was starting to show on his face by the way his brows furrowed so tightly. Virgil turned back around to face his cousin. Remy had a welcoming smile on his face, urging him to come closer. The guy—Roman, he remembered—was very different, however. He was giving Virgil an angry, knowing glare. He was just as furious as Virgil was.

Roman was annoyed. And angry. And worried. And a million other things. He never hated the universe _this much_ before. _‘This is gonna give me a serious writer’s block later.’_ He hadn’t expect it to be _this_ easy to just stumbled on his soulmate. He hated the fact that he actually had one.

Virgil stomped forward. He gave Roman an intense glare in return, which the man had not expect. Soon after, an intense glaring match ensued. Remy was confused. He wasn’t stupid to suspect that there’s nothing going on between these two. But, what was it?

“Um, _girls,_ y'all alright?” Remy asked, sliding his sunglasses down on his nose in slight concern.

“Fine.” Virgil said sternly, breaking the intense glaring contest and opted to look at Remy instead.

Roman’s brows furrowed even more. He admit that this… emo… guy was pretty cute. He looked even better in real life compared to when he had his _hour._ Though Roman didn’t care about that at the moment. He dug his nails into his palms, twisting his foot in agitation. How _dare_ the universe throw this _bullshit_ on him!

“Well, alright then. Wait for me here Virge, Imma get some drink.” Remy started walking away. He then turned back around, saying “Don’t go anywhere.” His tone sounded like a warning. Virgil didn’t like it one bit.

After Remy walked off to get a drink from the fridge, Roman and Virgil just stood in the middle of the aisle awkwardly. Virgil didn’t want to look at Roman. Anxiety and nervousness was starting to bubble up in the pit of his stomach. His hands were starting to get slick with sweat. He huffed an angry sigh. _‘What the fuck is wrong with me?!’_ He finally spared a glance at Roman and saw that the guy was staring—no, _glaring_ —at him. The anger from earlier started to simmer again in him.

“What?!” Virgil said defensively. An underlying heat of anger was hidden—poorly—behind his words. He crossed his arms in front of him, as if closing himself off.

“Dude, what is your problem?!” Roman responded with anger just as intense as Virgil’s. He was annoyed. To add to that, this guy just _snapped_ at him?!

“Huh—” Virgil mocked a laugh—“I thought _you’re_ the one with a problem. I didn’t even do anything to you.”

“Look, I don’t know what’s the deal with you. So, if you have a problem, just spit it out, emo _nightmare_!”

“Alright!” Virgil was getting more frustrated. His voice wavered with anger and… anguish? He didn’t exactly know what he was feeling. All he knew was that it was nothing good. “For one, what did I ever do that you hate me so much?”

“Why would I hate you when I don’t even know you?” Roman hissed through clenched jaws. His grip on his shopping cart tightened in contained fury.

“Stop acting _stupid_ like you don’t know who I am!” Virgil burst in anger. “You don’t hate me? Well, that's not what you said in the note!” Virgil stomped away from Roman. He was fuming.

Little did they know, Remy had been listening to the whole ordeal from an aisle away. At first, he didn’t know if those two will actually start talking to each other. He didn’t expect their “conversation” to start with anger. It wasn’t even a long conversation and they both were already consumed with a hot mess of fury. _‘A note? A note…_ the _note? They’re soulmates?’_ He tried to come up with ideas on what could possibly had been written on the note to spark such anger in his lil’ cousin. He knew more than anyone that if Virgil is angry—doesn’t matter about what—he would most likely blame himself and it does not end well for him.

 _‘Roman,_ khuy tebe. _I’m gonna_ beat _your ass!’_

He quickly followed Virgil out of the supermarket. He grabbed Virgil’s wrist and immediately let go. Virgil’s face was red and his eyes were bright with unshed tears. His breathing was heavy. Shallow and uneven.

“Hey, hey. Stop, calm down. Listen to me _brateyek._ Breathe _slowly._ ” He brought Virgil’s palm onto his chest, gently instructing him to follow the rhythm of his breathing. After a while, Virgil calmed down, enough for Remy to be able to touch him without making him flinch. “Alright, what time do you have class?”

“Eleven…”

“Okay, ma'am, we have two hours to talk. You’re going to tell me what just happened is all about.”

“Remy, no. I’m fine.” Virgil insisted. He didn’t want Remy to know. About the note, about his soulmate. About the rejection. He didn’t want _anyone_ to know about it.

“ _Milaya,_ no, you’re not.”

“Fine.” Virgil sighed in defeat and let his cousin dragged him back to his favorite coffee shop.

 

* * *

 

Logan didn’t know how to deal with this. This is _far_ too complicated for him. He could solve complex math and physics problems in minutes. He could spew out facts about _so_ many things—he’s basically a walking encyclopedia—but not this. This, he cannot seem to understand no matter how hard he tried in the past.

“Logan, stop staring! What am I gonna do? If Remy finds out about _that,_ he is _so_ going to kill me. I mean, he’s smaller than me, but that guy is _feisty_!”

Roman had called Logan urgently right after he was finished with grocery shopping. He didn’t buy half of the things he had in his list. He had told Logan that he needed to see Logan as soon as possible. Fortunately, Logan was free at the time so he welcomed Roman to his apartment. Roman didn’t say the specifics of his urgency, but Logan said yes anyway. He hadn’t expect this kind of outburst, however.

Now, laying on Logan’s lap, screaming about his _soulmate problems_ , which he wouldn’t have if the universe had enough sense not to give Roman a soulmate. Logan was rather helpless, looking down at his best friend with confusion and annoyance. If it wasn’t only for the fact that they had known each other for twelve years, Logan would have kicked Roman out.

“Roman, I do not know if you are aware, but are you sure you want to ask _me_ about this? Maybe I should call Patton to help you.” Logan said with furrowed brows. He truly was confused. “Besides, I thought it was your fault that you wrote that in your note to your soulmate.”

Roman let out an infuriated gasp. Did Logan seriously just said that? “How dare you! And no, I don’t need Patton’s help. I don’t even know him.”

“Well then, I really don’t know how I’m going to help you, because frankly, I despise anything that involves feelings and emotions.”

“Fine, Logan. Whatever. If I had to speak to Patton, just so I don’t get murdered, I’ll do it.” Roman finally said reluctantly. He was actually rather intrigued by Logan’s offer. “Logan I have a question. How are you and Patton?”

“I don’t understand what you are asking, Roman.”

“I mean, how are you guys doing in this whole… soulmate thing?”

“Relationship wise, there isn’t anything really happening. Patton and I are very different, but as of now, we are quite good friends. Patton is always so bubbly and upbeat, it’s rather overwhelming to keep up with him at times, but I’m fine with it. He was so happy a few days ago when Damien—who, if you remember, is Patton’s twin brother—found his soulmate. I didn’t think anyone could get _that_ excited unless they were a child, but I thought it fit him…” Logan trailed off, realizing that he was rambling about Patton to Roman. He bit his cheek, fighting the warmth crawling on his face.

Roman raised his eyebrows curiously. Logan never talks about anyone like that. Slowly, a small mischievous smile bloomed on Roman’s face. Is this really happening?

“Sooo…” Roman draw out his word, “you’re saying you like him?”

“What, ya-no… I mean, no. I-I don’t know. Maybe?” Logan’s cheeks was starting to get redder.

Roman made a small clicking sound with his tongue and gave Logan a knowing smile—which Logan _absolutely_ hate—and pat him on the back. “So, when can I meet your boy?”

“My boy?”

“Shush, Logan. Call Patton.”

“Alright.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm late again. Honestly, I give up on having a regular updating schedule. All you need to know is that I will upload every week, but I won't know what day.
> 
> Once again, thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed this addition. See you on the next one.  
> \---  
> Spanish stuff (tell me if I made any mistakes):
> 
> ¡Carajo!  
> [Fuck!]  
> \---  
> Russian stuff (tell me if I made any mistakes):
> 
> Хуй тебе!  
> Khuy tebe!  
> [Fuck you!]


	14. A Grumpy Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan made phone call,  
> Remy is mad at Roman,  
> Roman and Virgil are still upset.

He tossed the pancake on the pan. Then, it made a small sizzling sound when Damien nailed the “tossing the pan” move, flipping the pancake successfully. _‘Perfect landing!’_ He’d been practicing that move for weeks. Patton wasn’t very happy when he had to clean up pasta noodles and sauce a few day ago when Damien tossed the pan _a little_ too hard and sent the food flying in all directions.

Patton was still in the shower, humming occasionally while enjoying the warm water running down his body. Then, his phone rang. He had left his phone in the kitchen counter after he had a cup of coffee before he showered.

“Pat! Your phone is ringing!” Damien shouted from the kitchen. “It’s Logan!”

Patton let his head out of the bathroom and shouted back, “answer it!”

Damien turned off the stove and placed the now-cooked pancake on a plate. He walked to the kitchen counter and picked up the phone. “Hello?”

 _“Patton, it’s Logan.”_ Logan began.

“Patton’s in the shower. This is Damien. What’s up?”

 

* * *

 

“Oh, um…” Logan wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t plan on what he should say. He wasn’t about to say _‘Well, my best friend made his soulmate upset because he was rude. Oh, and on top of that, he wrote a very insensitive note during his_ hour _which makes things worse. So, now they have a conflict even though they don’t know each other.’_ However, he didn’t how else he was going to say it. He thought it would have been fine to say something like that to Patton, but since he’s not talking to Patton on the phone, he chucked that plan. He put the phone on speaker, so that Roman could hear the conversation. That way, he could help Logan figure out what to say.

“I was actually wondering if Patton is free… in about an hour.” Logan said, contorting his face into a grimace. He wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to have this… emergency meet-up.

Roman still had his head on Logan’s lap. He watched his friend curiously from his position. Logan seemed very tense talking to Damien, but he didn’t want to ask while Logan is still on the phone. He knew from experience that Logan doesn’t really care about what people think of him, so he would always be calm and collected while talking to people. Now though, Logan was visibly nervous. His foot was tap-tapping on the floor, his eyes darts around and his fingers drummed lightly on the sofa.

 _“You’re asking him on a date?”_ The smirk was apparent in Damien’s voice.

“Wha—no!” Logan flushed, red was visible across his face up to the tips of his ears. Roman laughed silently—and Logan swatted his arm. “It’s not a date, Damien. Roman will be coming with me. So, if you want to come along, you are welcomed to do so.”

 _“Wait, wait… So if you and Pat were alone, would it be a date?”_ Damien was having fun teasing Logan. He would have been _utterly_ delighted if he was able to see Logan’s face and he was willing to bet that Logan was blushing—yes, he was. _“I mean, I wouldn’t mind you dating my brother, y’know.”_

 _Now,_ Roman laughed out loud. And he laughed _loud._ Logan’s face went beet-red. Why was he embarrassed? All of this is childish, if he had to say himself. _This_ is why he hated his emotions and all kinds of feelings. Emotions are always overwhelming and Logan could never process them in his logical and analytical way, because emotions just make no sense.

“Oh goodness, Damien. I like you.” Roman said through the phone. They could hear Damien laughing just as loudly.

 

* * *

 

Patton was done with his shower when he heard Damien laughing from the kitchen. He went out of the bathroom, already fully dressed, to see his brother still on the phone. He snatched the phone from Damien’s hand.

“Hey, Lo—oh look, that sounded like ‘hello’—what happened?”

“My God, Pat. I wish I could see Logan’s face right now.” Damien uttered through his laugh.

_“Nothing happened, Patton. I was wondering if you’re free in an hour?”_

“Oh, yeah. I don’t have class until in the afternoon later.”

_“Can we meet at the coffee shop? I’ll have Roman with me.”_

“Okay, Lo. See ya there!”

Patton ended the phone call while Damien was still chuckling lightly. He looked at Damien with questioning eyes, _‘What happened with Logan?’_ Damien just shrugged in response.

The next hour was uneventful. Damien made more pancakes and the twins had their late breakfast. Then, they were off to the coffee shop.

 

* * *

 

Roman and Logan arrived at the coffee shop half an hour after the phone call ended. Logan remembered the last time he had to bring Roman to _Roast & Grind. _ That was the day he first met Patton and Damien. It had been awkward after Roman left that day. Patton talked a lot, as if they’ve known each other for a long time. Damien was preoccupied with his phone—which he only used to avoid awkward conversation. Logan was left to listen to Patton talk about random things.

It was different now that they’ve known each other better. He and Patton was getting closer—Logan, of course, did _not_ notice—and they were becoming good friends. Logan wasn’t sure of he wanted something more from their relationship, but he thought he wouldn’t be opposed to the idea. That being said, he preferred it to stay like this for now, between him and Patton, because it just seemed to be safer. Right now, it doesn’t involve a lot of feelings and emotions, so that’s better for Logan. However, he still had to consider what Patton wants.

From what Logan could tell, Patton is everything that he is not. Patton is warm and he’s always so cheery and bright. Logan is cold and calculating. Sometimes, he comes off as rude because of how he speak so formally. Though it was never his intention. Knowing that Patton is an emotional person, Logan didn’t know what to think about the man. He didn’t feel like he was the right person for Patton, because Patton deserves so much more than an emotionally-inept guy.

The little bell above the door made it’s clinking noise, announcing the newcomers’ arrival. The Harveys have arrived.

Logan raised his hand to get Patton and Damien to look. Patton came over and sat with them while Damien went to the counter to order some food and drinks. Patton was in his usual cheery state. His wavy curls were messy—whether it was on purpose or not, Logan didn’t know. He had a sky-blue t-shirt with a grey button-up shirt as an outer layer with the buttons left open. His blue jeans fit him perfectly and his white shoes completed the look.

 _‘He’s cute.’_ Logan thought and _immediately_ back-pedaled. The slightest hint of pink colored his cheeks, but it could easily be mistaken as the effect of the Florida heat.

“So, what’s happenin’?” Patton asked as he plopped himself on the chair opposite Logan’s—though it was more like a sofa than a chair.

“Well, I’ll just let Roman explain.” Logan pointed towards Roman who was silently sitting next to him. Roman wasn’t usually quiet. He would always attract attention wherever he goes with his booming voice and ridiculous theatrics. It was odd to see him so nervous and quiet.

“Um… I—I had a problem with—um—with my soulmate.” Roman started nervously. “I asked Logan for help, but he said I should maybe ask you. I don’t know you though, so I don’t know how this will work…”

“Aww, I’m sorry to hear that kiddo. Don’t worry though, Pat’s here to help ya.” Patton said in a chipper tone. He had always liked helping people. “First step, we gotta get to know each other for me to help you. Sure, we know each other’s name, but we never really know each other. Yeah?”

Damien was back from placing orders. He sat next to Patton and silently followed the conversation. He’d heard snippets of what they were talking about from all the way on the counter, so he didn’t ask anything and just listened quietly.

“Alright.” Roman was actually amazed by Patton’s cheeriness. The first time they met, Roman had been skeptical that his best friend would be a perfect match with the joyful man. Now, he was even more skeptical. How is this guy Logan’s soulmate? “So… about my _soulmate…_ ” Roman said the word ‘soulmate’ with complete hatred in his voice.

Logan huffed. This is going to take so long if they continue in this pace. “Essentially,” Logan interrupted, “Roman had only met his soulmate once and they had a fight because he was being unnecessarily rude to his soulmate—Virgil—and now they claim to hate each other. Well, I don’t think Virgil said that to Roman, but I get that impression from Roman’s over-dramatic story earlier.” Roman clutched his hand to his chest, making a series of offended noises.

“Wait, your soulmate is Virgil?” Damien asked, his mismatched eyes widened in surprise and interest.

“You know him?” The other three asked in unison.

“Well… I’ve only met the guy for like… one minute probably. He’s my soulmate’s cousin.”

“Remy is your soulmate?!” Roman raised his voice in utter shock.

Just then, the bell above the door rang again.

 

* * *

 

“Oh, we’re back here again.” Virgil wasn’t in the mood to argue with his cousin when he had dragged Virgil away from the supermarket. He just didn’t know that they will be back in _Roast & Grind _ even though they were there that morning. “You like this place a lot, don’t you?”

“ _Shush._ They got great coffee here.” Remy still had his hand on Virgil’s arm, effectively towing him along to the coffee shop. He needed to talk to his cousin about what just happened. Virgil had been so angry and so did Roman. He didn’t understand what was happening—at least not fully—and he didn’t know whether it was Roman’s fault or not. All he knew was that he was going to kick Roman’s ass for making his baby cousin upset.

He pushed open the door and a sense of calm washed over him. The smell of coffee is always delightful. Right now, he didn’t have the time to enjoy it though, he had something else to do. He needed to know what happened. Just as he was about to step over to the counter, he heard a familiar voice.

“Remy is your soulmate?”

Remy narrowed his eyes and took off his sunglasses. When Remy takes off his beloved aviators, that’s how you know it’s about to get serious. With Virgil still in tow, he marched across the room to stand behind Roman. “Problem with that, _honey_?”

All eyes snapped to Remy who was giving Roman a deadly glare. Roman flinched in surprise upon seeing Remy right behind him. “How’d you get here?” Roman asked in a small voice. Remy is totally going to kill him.

“With our legs, _idiot!_ ” Virgil interjected, yanking his arm out of Remy’s grip.

“Oh, it’s _you_ again.” Roman said, his voice lowered to a hostile growl.

“Yeah and I didn’t ask to be here.” Virgil growled back. He gave Roman a piercing glare and turned to leave.

“ _Uspokoysya, dvoyurodnyy brat._ ” Remy said cooly. His hand was back on Virgil’s arm. Virgil fought back, but Remy had a strong grip on him. He was not about to let Virgil leave.

“ _Remus, ostav' menya v pokoye!_ ” Anxiety was bubbling up in him again. Virgil hated this. He didn’t want to be there. His breathing was starting to pick up. His chest rising and falling quickly and the world was spinning slightly. His hands were starting to sweat and his face paled.

“Virgil, you’re going to set yourself off.” Remy almost never use his serious voice. When he does use it, it’s usually when things are not going well. And right now, _everything_ was not well. He hated seeing Virgil like that. If he kept going, he’s going to give himself a panic attack

“Fine. Whatever.” And Remy let go of his arm.

This was not going to be easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Finally, I'm able to update earlier than usual.  
> Thank you, so much for reading again. Give your feedback in the comment section and leave a kudos if you'd like.  
> \---  
> Russian stuff (tell me if I made any mistakes):
> 
> Успокойся, Двоюродный брат  
> Uspokoysya, Dvoyurodnyy brat  
> [Calm down, cousin]
> 
> Оставь меня в покое  
> Ostav' menya v pokoye  
> [Leave me alone]


	15. Coffee to Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman and Virgil are still angry,  
> Logan and Patton just wanted to help.  
> Remy and Damien were preoccupied with other things—like each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is centered around Damien and Remy.  
> Sleep and Deceit are rarely seen as main characters. Although there are a few stories that have them as main characters, there aren't many of them. So, I'm putting them under the spotlight, because these characters deserve so much more appreciation.
> 
> Also, since we don't know much about Deceit, Damien might be a little out of character.  
> Enjoy!!!

When Remy switched to speaking in Russian, the others know it was getting more serious. They didn’t know what to do as they watched quietly. Damien was rather intrigued. Seeing Remy being protective and stern stirred something in him. He admired his soulmate for that. He could see that Remy was upset with the way Roman talked to Virgil. It was apparent from the way he looked at Roman. Damien barely knows the guy, but he already felt an attachment. His father once told him and his brother, _“when you find your soulmates, it’s going to feel like you’re whole. You’re not left in pieces anymore. That’s what I felt when I met your mom.”_

Back then, He didn’t understand what his dad meant by that. He thought it was just a weird thing people always say about soulmates. But when he met Remy for the first time, it felt oddly right. As if he just got _something_ that he thought he didn’t need. He wanted to get to know his soulmate and maybe be friends like Logan and Patton were.

“Why don’t we calm down, kiddos,” Patton said before either Virgil or Remy could say anything else. “You should take a seat here.” He pointed to the empty seats next to Roman and Damien.

Remy planted himself next to Roman. He knew Virgil wouldn’t sit if he had to sit next to Roman. Plus, sitting next to Roman had the added benefit of scaring Roman _and_ he could look at his cute soulmate across the table. He glared at Roman—making the taller man flinch a little—and turned to watch Virgil carefully. He crossed his arms on the table, getting himself closer to his cousin for both his and Virgil’s comfort.

Roman and Virgil was still having a glaring match. Neither of them was going to back down. For a moment, there was only silence. So silent, they could hear the whirring noise of the coffee machine. None of them was going to break the silence.

“Alright, I have a question for _both_ of you,” Remy finally asked. His eyes shifted between Roman and Virgil. “What was in the note?”

Roman’s eyes widened in horror. Remy _cannot_ know about the note. Or else, he’ll surely be toast. What he had to worry about, though, was whether or not Virgil will tell. He had written the note in a haze of anger and annoyance that night. He knew he would have written the same thing even if he was calm, because he _didn’t need_ a soulmate. He can find someone for himself just fine.

Virgil groaned after hearing the question. He hid his face in the hood of his patchwork hoodie and covered his face with his hands. “Remy, no,” he said sternly. “We are _not_ talking about that.”

Logan knew about the note, because Roman had told him about it. The twins didn’t though. The Harveys were lost to what they were talking about. Patton could see that Virgil was shaking. He didn’t know Virgil—yet—but he wanted to wrap the boy in a hug. Roman also didn’t look very well. His brows were furrowed deeply and his nose is pinched, scrunching his face into a scowl. Logan who was sitting next to Roman tried to give his best friend reassurance by placing a hand on Roman’s arm, but Roman was not having it.

“Why not? It’s making you upset. So, you should talk about it.”

“Okay, but at least not here.” Virgil’s voice was starting to get smaller. Remy extended his hand across the table for Virgil to hold and his cousin held on tightly.

“What _did_ you write on the note?” Now Remy directed the question to Roman.

Roman froze up. He didn’t know what he had to say. He couldn’t just say that he practically kick Virgil away before ever even meeting him, so he didn’t know how to answer the question Remy was giving him. It’s true that they—Roman and Remy—weren’t close friends before, but Roman always wanted to stay on people’s good side. _‘Well, that’s not happening right now.’_ Roman was still not answering the question.

Patton wanted to help make the situation better. He hated the stress that was looming over them. Seeing Patton’s distress, Logan reached his hand from below the table to nudge on Patton’s for him to take. Patton took Logan’s offered hand and sent a grateful smile to his soulmate. Logan replied with quick flash of smile. Patton’s smile sent a tiny jolt in Logan’s stomach. _‘Perhaps I’m getting sick.’_

Damien didn’t sense his brother’s distress. He knew that his brother couldn’t handle stressful situations. Though, he didn’t notice it, because his mind was preoccupied with something else. His gaze was fixed on Remy across the table. He looked frustrated. Remy had one arm extended to Virgil and his free hand was clenched into a tight fist. He kept biting his lips, showing his stress. His green jade eyes seemed as though it had gone paler even though Damien knew that is impossible. He wanted to comfort Remy, but he didn’t know how.

“Alright, we all should probably split up into pairs so it’s easier to talk that way.” Damien decided to break the tension.

“I’ll go with Virgil. I mean, if that’s okay with you kiddo?” Patton offered kindly. He really wanted to wrap the boy in a hug to comfort him. He wasn’t sure if Virgil will be okay with that, though. They just met after all. He didn’t know what was happening between Virgil and Roman and he wasn’t sure if he would understand their anger. He just wanted to help.

Virgil was surprised to hear this _stranger_ offering to talk with him. He wasn’t sure if he could trust this guy. This guy always smile all the time. Plus, he looks so much like Remy’s soulmate—what was his name again? Ah, Damien. Overall, he looks like the personification of a marshmallow. He wanted to go talk with Remy, but he’d done that before and the conversation always end without any progress made. He didn’t know whether he could trust this guy.

“It’s okay, Virge.” Remy urged Virgil gently. Virgil hesitated, then nodded and sent a shy smile to Patton. He and Patton got up and went to another seat across the room.

“I guess Roman should go with Remy…” Damien said again. “So, you guys can talk about… stuff.”

“Um… I…” Roman hated Damien’s idea. Sure, Remy was smaller than him, but they guy is intimidating as hell _‘_ ¡Carajo! _Please don’t.’_ There was a long pause and Roman stayed tense.

Remy was eyeing Roman carefully with a frown. This guy had the guts to hurt Virgil?! Who the hell does he think he is? Remy was ready to give Roman a two hour long lecture about this. He needed to educate Roman so that he knows what anxiety is. Maybe he was stupid enough to not know what that is. After that, he’s going to make him feel even more horrible—he didn’t know how he will do that, but he’ll figure out as he goes. Roman was still quiet.

“Alright. You’re going with me, but you will have to be honest about everything, Roman.” Logan finally spoke up. He was starting to think having that phone call earlier was a bad idea.

 

* * *

 

After Logan dragged Roman away, Remy and Damien were the only ones left. Remy was staring intensely at his hands on the table, seeming to be deep in thought. He didn’t look very happy. Damien got up from his seat and moved to sit next to Remy. He didn’t pay Damien any attention. Remy still remembered what happened to him not even a year ago. He didn’t want _that_ to happen to Virgil. The boy didn’t need a taste of that. Remy had to squeeze his hands to pull himself out of the painful memory. Then, he felt a nudge on his shoulder.

“You good?” Damien asked carefully. Remy nodded.

“I just want him to be okay.” It was Damien’s turn to nod. He understood Remy’s protectiveness. He wouldn’t want to see Patton get hurt. One time in junior year of high school, Damien had punched a guy after he made Patton cry. He got detention and his parents were called in, but he didn’t care. At least Patton was alright after that. He glanced to where his brother was sitting, having a conversation with Virgil. They were both smiling.

Remy followed Damien’s gaze to see his cousin smile. He couldn’t help but smile too. It’s not very often to see Virgil smile or laugh. That’s why he had been happy when they went to pull pranks in the supermarket that morning. “Thanks, Day.” Remy put his sunglasses back on.

Damien flushed at the nickname. No one had ever given him a nickname before—except for his family who called him ‘Dee.’ He smiled and without looking at Remy, he replied, “No problem.” Damien was about to say something else, but he hesitated. He wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. Eventually, he came to the conclusion that it wouldn’t hurt to try.

“Hey, um… you wanna hang out sometimes or whatever?” Damien said, looking down at his folded hands on his lap. Then he looked up to see Remy looking at him with raised brows. He then realized how the question could have been interpreted. “No! Not like that—I mean—I guess we could just… be friends…?” Damien winced at his stuttering. This is why he didn’t have friends: because he’s always awkward. There are other things too, but he didn’t want to think about it. _‘Be friends for now at least.’_ He added in his mind.

“Um, okay. Sure.”

Remy looked down at his hands again, slipping back into his thoughts. Damien wanted to take Remy off his worries. Honestly, he understood why Remy was worried about Virgil, but he didn’t understand why he would be _this_ anxious about it. He thought a fight that seemed so _petty_ wouldn’t bring too much harm. Damien didn’t comment, though. It’s not his place to say anything. Maybe, Remy knew something that he didn’t.

“Are you free right now?” Damien asked cautiously. “I mean, other than this whole thing.”

“I don’t have class today… why?” Remy inquired quietly. He didn’t mind Damien’s offer of ‘hanging out,’ but he wasn’t sure if he actually wants to. His mind kept repeating what happened months ago. It still hurts to think about it. He didn’t need another dip into that water. Remy wasn’t a person who worries a lot. However, at that moment he couldn’t help but let his wandering mind take over him.

“Well… um—I thought—I mean—is it okay if you wanna go now?” Gosh, why did he have to sound so _pathetic?_ A blush colored his neck and warmth bled into his face. _‘I’m just trying to be his friend.’_ Damien thought to himself.

“But, Virgil is—”

“I know, but Patton is…” Damien trailed off, looking at his brother talking animatedly. “He’s really good with people and he has a big heart. I trust him. But, it’s up to you though. I mean, you don’t have to do anything… with me, I mean. I was just—no, I—you know what, forget I asked.” He stammered out his words and immediately backtracked when he heard no response from Remy. It was stupid to ask anyway—especially in a not-very-bright situation like this. At that moment, he felt shame wash over him. He wasn’t being himself. He desperately wanted to go back in time—just a few minutes—to take back everything he had just said to his soulmate. He wanted to show that this _blubbering nervous mess_ is not himself.

Remy hesitated. The last time he trusted someone, he got hurt. Yes, Damien is his soulmate, but that doesn’t mean they can’t fall out. Even Virgil and Roman who just met each other had a fall out—is _having_ a fall out. He sensed that Damien had a strong presence in his overall personality. He’d seen a glimpse of that during their conversation back in the library not a week ago. Damien was confident and snarky.

And that’s what _he_ was like. But, _he_ had hurt him.

Remy was tempted to decline Damien’s offer. He didn’t know why Damien had wanted to take him on an outing _right_ at that moment and Remy didn’t like it. Then, he heard his soulmate stammering and stuttering out his words. This was nothing like how Damien was at the library. And he was blushing! How _cute._ Remy repeated his trusty mantra, _‘don’t worry. If you can do something about it, then don’t worry. And if you cannot do something about it, then don’t worry.’_

Damien was still waiting for an answer. He felt like a fool. He was about to say something else, saying that Remy didn’t have to listen to him and that he could leave if he wants. _‘It’s okay, I’m not scared to be alone. It’s fine, just fine. Being alone isn’t so bad.’_ Damien kept lying to himself. Loneliness was the _one_ reason he had obsessed over the prospect of meeting his soulmate just before he found Remy in the library. And he didn’t feel the need to acknowledge that. He felt—knew—that Remy wasn’t going to answer his stupid words.

“Alright then, Where are you going to take me?” Remy broke through Damien’s thought.

“Wait, seriously?” Disbelieve drenched Damien’s words.

“Eh, why not?”

 

* * *

 

After Damien walked to Patton’s table across the room to tell his brother that he was going out with Remy, they exited the coffee shop. Patton had given him a wink which made him flush crimson. Virgil had thrown a smirk at his cousin and Remy responded with a smirk of his own.

“Where we goin’?” Remy’s usual bounce was starting to come back. Not in full force, but it was enough.

“You’ll see. I hope you still remember the place.” Damien said, still looking straight ahead. That made Remy look at him in confusion, but he didn’t say anything. He used to go visit that place many times before he became a regular in _Roast & Grind. _ Damien had liked the place a lot. “It’s not too far from here.”

After that, silence took over them. They let the sound of the city accompany the sound of their footsteps. They walked side-by-side, keeping a fair amount of distance between them. Neither of them seemed to notice. Remy was actually glad that Damien had taken him out of the coffee shop. It wasn’t as peaceful as it usually was with Virgil and Roman fuming inside the cafe and he was starting to get lost in thought the more he sat there. Forgetting about all that, he focused on Damien walking next to him. Where was he taking them? He couldn’t help but wonder. In all honesty, he was still unsure about his soulmate. Of course, he’s not going to trust a person who he just met and barely knows anything about—soulmate or not. Though Damien had put some effort into getting to know him better, so he was willing to try. Maybe they could be friends, just like Damien said.

Three blocks later they were standing in front of a coffee shop. “You brought us to a coffee shop? Now, _girl,_ you realize we were in a coffee shop, like, a few minutes ago?”

“I’m not dead, blind or stupid. So, yes, I know.” Damien said with a slight smirk, indicating that he was being playful. Remy just shook his head.

Damien pushed the door open and the sound of jazz song flowed into their ears. Damien actually liked this place better than _Roast & Grind, _ but it was farther away from his apartment and from campus. So, he doesn’t come here as often now. Standing in this place again brought a sense of calm in him.

“So,” Damien looked back at Remy, who was standing in silent shock, “welcome to _Jacked Up Coffee._ ”

“Isn’t this…?” Remy trailed off. He took two small steps forward into the cafe. He remembered this place. This was the coffee shop where he had his _hour._ Damien had been sitting in the corner in the back, near the window. Remy never got the name of the coffee shop when he was having his _hour._ “Oh, wow…”

Damien told Remy to pick a seat—and of course he’s going to pick _that_ seat in the back. Damien went to the counter to place some orders. He didn’t ask Remy what he wanted, so he ordered his favorite: Double-shot espresso with vanilla, plus caramel drizzle on whipped-cream. He knew it was weird, but to hell with what people think. He also ordered devil’s chocolate cake. He asked for the orders to be delivered to their table and went to where Remy was sitting.

“I sat here that time.”

“I know. So, anyway, why are we here _milaya_?” Remy knew Damien wouldn’t understand his Russian nicknames for him.

“Just to talk? Or maybe, I just wanted to be a friend.” Damien said. His eyes looked into the distance of the city. “And also, what does _milaya_ mean?”

Remy laughed at Damien’s question. “You always this serious?” He said between his laugh.

Damien quirked an eyebrow. “Do serious people go to a cafe that’s called _Jacked Up Coffee?_ ”

“ _My, my…_ ” Remy shook his head. He slipped back into his usual vibrant self. “Do you _really_ wanna know what it means?” Remy asked, leaning forward to fold his arms on the table—and also to get closer to his soulmate. “It means a number of things. I’m not gonna tell you yet.”

When their orders came, Remy looked at it with confusion. It’s odd to have whipped cream and caramel on a cup. When he took a sip, he could taste the mild bitterness of the coffee slightly masked with vanilla. He scooped the caramel and whipped cream and gave it a taste. The soft fluff of the cream melted and the sweet taste of the caramel mingled with the bitterness of the coffee, complimenting it perfectly. He hummed in satisfaction.

“Normally I will _never_ put caramel in or anywhere _near_ my coffee,” Remy said, his elbow resting on the table and waved the spoon in front of his face. “That is just _absolutely_ disgusting! But, I like this one. _Girl,_ you got good taste.”

Damien hid his grin behind his hand. He was going to have fun figuring out his soulmate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading!! I was in the mood to write a lot, so this update is like a week early. School is stressing me out, so I might not be able to update until next weekend.  
> PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT DECEIT/SLEEP IN THIS CHAPTER BECAUSE I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW IF I WRITE THEM GOOD OR NOT!!! *ahem* Sorry, yes, that's it, thank you.  
> \---  
> Spanish stuff (tell me if I made any mistakes):
> 
> ¡Carajo!  
> [Fuck!]  
> \---  
> Russian stuff (roast me if I make any mistakes):
> 
> Милая  
> Milaya  
> [pretty; sweet(ie); honey; dear one]


	16. From Florida to Saint Petersburg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton dragged Damien to the park,  
> Damien is missing someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, finally, I have delivered this week's addition. I don't know if it's good or bad or whatever, but I hope you like it. I was actually getting a little bit stuck, because at this point there is a lot going on between our three pairs of soulmates. I didn't know which one to talk about in this chapter, which one to develop. So, I went with this instead.
> 
> I really, really hope you like it. Next week, the story won't be boring. I promise. There will be some exciting development in the next chapter. Hopefully, I can upload that on Tuesday, so you guys won't have to wait too long.  
> Now, enjoy the story!!

It’s weekend again. That means no classes and he would be free of stress. Not that he ever gets too stressed. That day, his body decided that waking up in an unusually early hour is a good idea. He tried to put himself back to sleep, but he couldn’t seem to fall into slumber once again. He chose to get up instead. He went out of his room and opened the door next to his room. His brother was still asleep, which was a normal thing since it was only 06:30.

Patton didn’t actually know what he wanted to do. He could maybe try to cook, but that was usually Damien’s thing and he wasn’t in the mood either. He went to the kitchen and had a glass of water. Retreating back to his room, his mind drifted to random things. _‘What would happen in the future? Will Damien and I still stay together and share everything like we are right now? Will he be a successful lawyer like he wants to be? How about Logan?’_ His mind halted at the thought.

Logan. The stiff, somewhat robotic soulmate of his. He remembered how he had offered reassurance that time in the coffee shop a few days ago. Having Logan there to just hold his hand made a big difference. It was as if his presence and their little contact drowned out all the tension that was hovering above them. His mind started to wander again, thinking of what life would bring him in the future. Once again, his thought drifted to those icy blue eyes, cool and mysterious.

Patton hadn’t actually known Logan for long. Only a month and a few weeks. There’s still a lot they don’t know about each other. And Patton was eager to find out more about his soulmate.

 

* * *

 

“Hey, Dee,” Patton broke the comforting silence that settled in the kitchen. Breakfast that morning was simple, but good. Two waffles for each of them—with strawberries—and bacon. The twins didn’t have any plans for the day, so they were going to stay in.

“Ya?”

“Why did you want to be a lawyer?”

“Well… ‘cause I’m a good liar, good at bullshitting,” Damien said, then he added, “and I sound convincing, so yeah.”

Patton only nodded in response. Damien had always have a habit of lying, especially in high-stress situations. Sometimes, it wasn’t even lies. Instead, he would just speak in reverse. Though, Patton got used to it. His brother was bullied for his odd speech when they were younger, but now Damien have learned to control it better. Patton had been _furious_ the first time someone called his brother a ‘slimy snake,’ but Damien just went with it. He just started hissing at people when they called him snake. _‘Living up to my name to the fullest, I guess,’_ Damien had thought. Now, he doesn’t do that anymore, but he still feel the urge to hiss at people he doesn’t like.

After breakfast, Damien was about to turn the TV on. He wasn’t in the mood for too much social interaction. Everyone knew that Damien wasn’t a people person, but he wasn’t all that bad with people. Some people find his cool demeanor charming and mysterious. Damien himself didn’t understand how or why people find him charming or even remotely attractive and he didn’t how to react to that information. He once thought that maybe people see him that way, because he’s basically an identical copy of his brother, who most people find cute. Well, almost identical, anyway. When you’ve seen your face and your twin’s face side-by-side for who knows how many times, it’s going to start looking _very_ different.

Patton, though, had other ideas. He really wanted to do something today. He wanted to go out and just enjoy the warmth of the still-rising sun or the still-cool, fresh breeze of the morning. His thoughts of soulmates from that morning came back to him. Remy and Damien had gone on a date— _was it a date?_ —when they were in the coffee shop a few days ago. He doesn’t know a lot about Remy yet, but his brother seemed to like that boy. And Patton knew that Damien didn’t usually like people all that much. So, that must have said something about Remy— _right?_

“Dee, let’s go out. To the park! So we can see the little doggies!” Patton said with excitement, already pulling his brother out of the living room. “I swear, it’ll be fun!”

Damien didn’t like that. Not one bit. He _really_ didn’t want to go out. However, he didn’t really have an excuse not to go either, so he obliged. “Kay, kay, yeah. Whatever, Pat.”

 

* * *

 

The coffee was getting cold. He had bought the coffee at the stall near the entrance of the park earlier. Patton was playing with the little dogs that were running around the park and Damien was left to sit alone on the bench, sipping his coffee. Honestly, Damien didn’t really mind to be left alone in the park, as long as he can see his brother in his field of vision. However, alone also meant that he was left with his thoughts.

His mind would drift to random topics. _‘Do tiger cubs meow? What would happen to my brain if I isolate myself? It’s weird that we cook bacon and we bake cookies… What’s in the fridge in the apartment right now? How do I not know that? I literally cooked this morning.’_  After a while, his mind started to run through his memories. One by one, moment through moment. Then, he stumbled on the memory of his _hour._

_‘Oh yeah… that was wild.’_

 

* * *

 

Damien was out alone again. It’s the middle of summer and he had too much free time in his hands. So, he chose to spend his time in his favorite coffee shop, _Jacked Up Coffee._ The atmosphere there was always so relaxing to him. The smell of coffee, the reddish hue of the sunset sweeping across the interior of the cafe and the sound of smooth jazz in the background.

While waiting for his order to come, he took out his phone and browsed through it. His social life wasn’t the most exciting thing on the planet, so his social media feeds weren’t that interesting either. It’s mostly just memes. Bad ones. A few boring minutes later, he put his phone down on the table—oh and look, the coffee is here. Finally!

All of a sudden, he felt a throbbing pain at the back of his head. It wasn’t intense, but it wasn’t a welcomed sensation either. He held his head in his hands, resting his elbows on the table for support. When the pain went away, he looked up again. And then the pain was back. _‘Am I getting sick or something? It’s annoying.’_ He closed his eyes, hoping the pesky headache would go away soon.

When he opened his eyes again, he was greeted with darkness. Literally, darkness. He was sitting in a dark room with the lower half of his body covered with thick fabric. _‘Blanket,’_ He vaguely noted. He quickly realized he was sitting on a bed in a darkened bedroom. Once his eyes adjusted to the dark, he could see the outline of the room properly. He went to turn the lights on.

The bed he was sitting on wasn’t that small. It could fit two people, though it would be a tight fit. It was covered in soft, black and brown sheets with white accents. To the left of the bed was a small desk with minimal decoration. Next to the desk, tucked in the corner against the wall was a stack of canvases. The smallest one was visible. It was a painting of a small bird. On the other side of the bed was a wooden bedside table with an alarm clock on it and a lamp. Next to the bedside table was the door, next to which he was standing. There were posters on the wall and two of those were of a band he didn’t recognize. _‘Leningrad?’_

Damien was wondering how he got there. Was he dreaming? _‘I thought I was in the coffee shop a second ago?’_ When he drew the blinds open, it was dark outside. _‘The fuck…’_ What is happening?

He looked around the room to see if something else was wrong. His eyes found the alarm clock. _00:00._ _‘How is it midnight?  I thought it was five p.m.! Where the hell am I? What is happening?’_ Then, he noticed a phone on the desk, still charging. He unlocked the phone using fingerprint—and he vaguely realized that it wasn’t his phone, even though he could unlock it with his fingerprint, but he was too confused and slightly panicked to care—and checked the date and location.

“Okay, okay,” Damien thought out loud to help himself think. “So, I’m in Russia. In motherfucking Russia! And it’s seven hours ahead of Florida here.” He walked in circles in the room, trying to make sense of what is happening. “Alright, Dee, you got this! How did you end up here?”

His eyes darted around the room again. Then, he saw it. It was a small card with words written on it.

 

**С днем рождения!**

 

What is that? What does that mean? He unlocked the phone again and typed in the phrase on the browser to find what the phrase said. He had to draw out the characters one by one, which read  _‘S dnem rozhdeniya!’_ Then he typed that out for a translation.  _‘Happy birthday!’_  was the translation result. Birthday? Who’s birthday? Oh… _Oh…_

“I’m in the fuckin’ _hour!_ Holy shit, my soulmate is Russian?!” He was starting to freak out again. What was he supposed to do? One minute he was in Florida, enjoying a nice evening alone and then a second later he was in a dark bedroom in Saint Petersburg. Who _wouldn’t_ freak out? He was literally in  _a different continent!_

Alright, so, note first! He walked to the desk, hoping to find something that he could use to write. He found a bundle of post-it notes and a pen. He needed to sort his head out first. What to write first and all that. He can freak out—and maybe rant on the note—later.

 

_Damien Harvey (21)_

_Florida, United States_

_Sanders University - economics and pol. Science_

_(I want to be a lawyer)_

_I have a twin brother (I’m older)_

_Well, I’m sorry if you don’t speak English,_

_but it’s the only language I speak._

 

It was annoying that each post-it only fit eight broken lines. He added the last two lines, because… well, he didn’t know why. If his soulmate _did_ speak English, those two lines would be redundant. If they _don’t_ speak English, those two lines would mean nothing to his soulmate. However, he continued his rant anyway. He added another post-it note and wrote again.

 

_I was planning to write a small little thing,_

_but it looks like I’m not doing that right now._

_So, I’m in Russia. It’s insane._

_What if someone came in and decided to_

_talk to me? How am I gonna answer?_

_I don’t know why I’m ranting here, you might_

_not even understand what I’m talking about._

 

Feeling like he’d had enough with the note, he checked the time again. He still had forty minutes. Which was a lot of time to do nothing else. So, he decided to go outside. The house wasn’t too big, but it wasn’t small either. The living room was big, with an equally gigantic fireplace on the opposite wall of the entrance. He kept walking through the house. When he reached the kitchen, he was quite amazed. It was big with marble counter tops and a big kitchen island in the middle. Upon closer look, on the side of the island was two small fridges built into the structure. _‘That’s pretty hecking cool.’_

Suddenly, there was a voice behind him. “ _Remus, pochemú ty ne spish'?_ ”

Damien whipped his head back, finding a middle aged man looking at him with sleepy eyes. _‘Oh fuck, what do I do?’_ He tried to find his words, to say something, but his mind advised him to stay silent. _‘It’s not like I know any Russian…’_   He remembered writing a possible scenario of someone finding him while he was having his _hour_ on the note. Well, his fear came true. At the end, he just nodded nervously and head back to the room in a rush. He could feel the man stare at his back, but he didn’t dare to look back again.

Once he got the door closed, he leaned against it and sagged in relief. Out of the corner of his eyes, he spotted another door opposite the window. Next to the door was a light switch, indicating that it was a bathroom. Damien decided to go into the bathroom to see his soulmate for the first time. It’s not like he cared if his soulmate was actually good looking or not, he was just curious.

The mirror in the bathroom wasn’t too big, but it was big enough for him to be able to see half of his body. When he saw the reflection in the mirror, his mind went blank. _‘Geez, what is it with Russia and_ gorgeous _people?’_

The first thing he noticed from his soulmate was those eyes. It was such a weird color. The green color of the eyes is so pale, but it was definitely green. Like a pair of _beautiful_ jade beads. The deep auburn hair complimented the color of those pale eyes so well, it made the subtle color pop. The jawlines were so _ungodly_ defined, Damien had to trail his finger over it. Pink lips adorned the face, which curl into a sweet smile. Looking down, he could see the white shirt he was wearing fit very well, though a bit loose at the waist. He dared to put one hand under the shirt, feeling bumps of muscle. He felt one strong, straight line down the middle of the abs. Going a little bit up, he could feel his chest, flat and a little hard.

He was getting more curious, so he lifted his shirt up to see underneath. _‘Oh man…’_ Damien couldn’t help himself but trace over the subtle lines of muscle on the waist. The forearms also had visible cuts, though not extreme.  _‘This guys is probably the hottest person I_ _’ve ever seen...’_

Going back into the bedroom, he sat on the bed. He didn’t know what else he was supposed to do. He still had twenty five minutes to kill. So, he turned the lights back off and wrapped himself in the soft, thick blanket. He supposed it made sense to have thick blankets here, since Russia gets really cold in winters.

Damien never thought he would ever have a soulmate. Having a soulmate was always a weird thought to him. He thought, he didn’t have a soulmate and for a while he was fine with that. Now, though, he was having his _hour_ and he had been stuck in his soulmate’s body for about forty to forty five minutes. Thinking about the idea of him living his life alone was getting a little sad and depressing.

Damien had never liked being alone. He wanted to have many friends, but he knew it wasn’t his scene. He was always awkward and he constantly lie when he’s in a bad mood or in a high-stress situation. Sitting on that bed, Damien was starting to think that maybe a life alone would not be very interesting. Maybe, it wasn’t so bad to have a person in your life that you could depend on and you could… _love._

He kept thinking about soulmates and his life in the future. He was getting deeper into his mind, so he wasn’t aware that his times was almost up. When he felt a headache coming, he thought nothing of it. Then, he remembered that the headache meant he had to go back. It was time. As another wave of headache came, he thought, _‘There’s so much distance between us, when will we ever meet each other?’_

A minute later, he was back at _Jacked Up Coffee._ Nothing seemed to change and no one around him seemed to even notice what just happened. The girl a few tables away was still reading her book and that guy sitting across the room was still on his phone. When he looked down, he saw that his coffee was already halfway done and he could taste the slightly bitter taste of coffee in his mouth. _‘That’s interesting.’_ Another thing that he found on the table was a small note.

 

_Remus Galanicheff (19)_

_Yes I’m Russian. And yes, I speak English._

_See you whenever I’ll see you._

 

The note was short, but it stirred something inside Damien. He folded the note carefully and put it in his pocket.

 

* * *

 

Damien was pulled out of his memory when a small dog approached him, butting its head softly on his leg. He put his now-cold half-cup of coffee on the bench and reached down to pet the dog. Patton came running and flopped himself next to his brother on the bench.

“Oh my goodness, it’s so cute!” Patton reached his hand down to pet the dog.

“Skittles! Skittles, don’t annoy people. I told you to stay with me.” A young boy came and squatted next to the dog. Then, the boy looked up at Damien and said, “Sorry, mister. Skittles was having too much fun, I thought I lost him again.”

“That’s alright kid. Your dog’s pretty cute.” The boy only nodded in reply and smiled. The boy looked to Damien’s side—at Patton—and back at Damien again.

“Are you guys twins?” The boy asked timidly.

“Yep!” Patton answered enthusiastically. He always liked it when people asked about their twin-ship—Patton wasn’t sure if that’s a word, but that’s what he call his relationship with his brother. “He’s eight minutes older,” Patton said, pointing at Damien with his thumb.

The boy nodded again. “That’s cool. I’ve never seen adult twins before. All the pair of twins I know are my age.” The boy said with a hint of fascination. “Alright, I have to go now. Bye.” Without waiting for a reply, the kid ran off with his dog.

Once the boy was out of sight, Damien spoke up. “It’s weird that people still ask if we’re twins. You think being asked that question for twenty one years would make you get used to it.”

“Well, I’m fine with it.” After that, it was silence. The good kind of silence. The one that you enjoy, where you just absorb your surroundings. The birds singing in the trees, the warm sun hitting their skin and the sound of children playing in the park.

“Hey Pat, what did it feel like the first time you met Logan?” Damien asked after a long moment of silence.

Patton still remembered that morning in the coffee shop when he met Logan for the first time. It felt so long ago when it was only been about a month and two or three weeks. The first time he recognized Logan it felt _relieving._ There was no other way to describe it. It felt like he had just found something he thought he lost. Like that satisfying feel when you finish a herculean task.

“Well, I…” Patton tried to piece his thoughts together. “At first it was weird. Like, ‘oh wait, I know you even though I’ve never met you.’ It just felt… _right?_ As if there was some kind of magic.”

“Yeah, _magic_  kinda makes sense Pat. I mean, no one on Earth has ever explained this phenomenon of people having their souls transferred into their soulmate’s body for an hour and all that. It’s literally magic.”

“I guess so… Why’d ya ask?”

“Oh, nothing. Just curious.”

Patton looked unconvinced by Damien’s answer, but he nodded anyway. He still, however, threw his brother a skeptical look. Little did he know, Damien was thinking about his soulmate again. What is he doing right now? Is he alright after that whole fighting thing a few days ago? Damien didn’t realize this at that moment, but he was actually  _missing_  his soulmate. It was a very peculiar thought, given that they’ve only known each other for a week. But, Damien missed Remy. He just didn’t realize that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And once again, you've reached the end of the chapter. As I said earlier, the next chapter would—hopefully—be more exciting. Thank you so much for reading!! Please leave some feedback in the comment section, let me know what I should add or take out.  
> \---  
> Russian stuff, y'all (roast if you spot a mistake):
> 
> С днем рождения  
> S dnem rozhdeniya  
> [Happy birthday]
> 
> почему ты не спишь?  
> pochemú ty ne spish'?  
> [why aren't you sleeping?]


	17. A Proposition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan had a proposition for Patton which made him excited.

It was still early. Much too early for _this._ This is never going to work. That was a stupid idea, but he really wanted to try. _‘Is it wise for me to risk it?’_ His mind kept sifting through all possible outcomes if he _did_ it. He wasn’t usually anxious like this. _‘Maybe, I should ask Roman for help? No… he’s going to be dramatic and potentially ruin whatever chance you have,’_ He thought to himself. _‘Do I even_ have _a chance?’_

Logan was confused, which was very unusual for him. Most times, confusion would only spur him to discover more, research more, find out more. However, this time, it was a different kind of confusion. This one, involved his soulmate. And with the concept of soulmate, it brings about the topic of emotions and a heap of _icky_ feelings. _‘How irritating.’_ Maybe, he _did_ need Roman’s help. He is, after all, more emotionally competent and more of a romantic person than Logan is. _‘I’ll call him later.’_

What is he so frustrated about, you asked? Logan was confused about what he felt towards Patton. In the time that they’ve gotten to know each other, Logan noticed that they have a good—some might even say _great_ —friendship. He wasn’t denying that he did, in fact, liked Patton. And now, onto the frustrating part: how exactly does he like Patton?

He tried to compare his affection towards Roman with how he felt towards Patton.

Roman was like a brother to him. They met in the second week of third grade, twelve years ago. Granted, they didn’t get along too well at first, but eventually the two young boys warmed up to each other. Now, they have a very special brand of friendship. So special in fact, that some people who didn’t know them would think that they’re romantically involved. He cared about Roman like how an older brother would worry about his bratty little brother. Making sure that the little one was taking care of himself and helping him through his problems.

With Patton, it was different, but it was also the same. Logan cared about Patton in a way that he wanted to take care the other man. He cared about Patton in the way that he had the urge to keep him safe, keep him happy. The first time they met, something in Logan’s brain had _switched._ Like something that used to be dark is now bright. And he didn’t know what to say about it. The way he felt about Patton was exactly like what he felt towards Roman; caring, _almost_ nurturing—yet it was  _very_ different. Which was _so_ frustrating, because _‘How can it be the same_ and _different at the same time?’_

That morning, Logan was planning on something, but he didn’t know how to _properly_ execute his plan. He might need his best friend’s help for that. However, he was still deciding whether he should do it or not. On one hand, if he did it, his relationship with Patton would _somewhat_ progress. It wasn’t a terrible thought, until he consider all the emotional baggage. Though, he was willing to bare that weight. For Patton. That being said, if his plan didn’t work, his relationship with Patton would be ruined. _‘I need to call Roman.’_

 

* * *

 

It was eight a.m. and Roman was sitting in his dining room, sipping coffee and staring out the window, watching the world wake up. He sat where a patch of sunlight would shine on his face, because even without an audience he needed to be extravagant—though, not to the usual extreme. His peace was interrupted by the cacophonous ringing of his phone. Groaning, he set the coffee down on the dining table and went to his room to retrieve his phone.

Seeing the caller ID, he became a little irritated, but Logan doesn’t usually call him—especially not this early in the morning—which meant that something was wrong. He thought he would be able to just do nothing since it’s weekend and he could continue writing his original play project. But, maybe not.

“Hi, Logan. It’s still early.” Roman greeted with a hint of annoyance in his voice while his feet took him back to the dining room where he left his cup of coffee.

 _“Roman, good morning. I think I require your help, urgently.”_ Logan spoke.

“Help about what? The last time you asked me for help, it didn’t end well. At least for me.”

 _“Well, Roman, I wanted to—I wanted to ask Patton out.”_ The hesitation is Logan's voice was apparent. And Roman knew Logan  _never_ hesitate.

“What’s so difficult, Logan? You’ve done it, like, a hundred times already. I mean, from what I know, you guys had gone on a few outings, right?”

 _“Yes, what I meant was I wanted—I meant to—it’s more of a date than an outing, Roman! How is that so difficult to understand?”_ On the other end of the phone, Logan was sitting in his living room, fists clenched and face slightly flushed.

“Oh, wooooooow…” Roman said, drawing out his word with his eyes wide open. “Worry not my friend, I am here to assist you.”

_“Yes, so what should I do Roman?”_

“I’ll come to your place, then we can talk about this.”

 _“I don’t you coming over is necessa—”_ Logan’s sentence was cut off with Roman hanging up the phone.

Roman chugged the slightly-too-hot coffee and winced. After he recovered, he dashed to the bathroom to clean himself up. He had a mission to do.

 

* * *

 

“You know, Logan, it’s really not that hard.” Roman was getting a little bit—a lot—frustrated after all of his ideas were turned down. It had been an hour of discussion, suggestions put forward and rejected. He thought Logan needed his help, but he kept rejecting his ideas. _‘If he knew that_ “it’s not going to work, Roman,” _then maybe he doesn’t really need my help.’_

“Look, Logan, you turned down all my ideas, so my advice is… to just go the old-school way.”

“What does _that_ mean?!” Logan was pacing back and forth in the living room while Roman watched him from his seat on the sofa.

“I mean,” Roman started again, ready for his last idea to be rejected. “You should just... call him and tell him that you want to take him out.”

Logan paused on his track in the middle of the living room. Earlier, he _had_ actually thought of just calling his soulmate and straight out asking him. However, Logan was afraid that he would get rejected. If he did call Patton, Logan didn’t actually know what he wanted to say. He let out a heavy sigh and plopped himself next to Roman on the sofa. “I don’t know, Roman. I thought of that this morning, but I don’t even know what I would say once Patton pick up the call.”

“Just try, Logan. Or maybe, if you don’t want to call him, just text him.”

So, that’s what Logan did.

 

**From: Me**

**To: Patton**

**[09:12]**

_Good morning, Patton. I hope you’re having a pleasant time._

_I have a proposition for you._

 

* * *

 

Patton was sitting on the park bench, still thinking about Damien’s question. _‘What did it feel like the first time he met Logan?’_ Well, for one, it felt _right._ Like finally solving a big piece of puzzle. But then, he also felt like there was another new, more complicated piece of puzzle presented to him. This one, he couldn’t solve it by himself. When he first met Logan, it felt like he had just found something that he thought he didn’t need. Which was an odd feeling, yet satisfying in a way.

Damien had left to buy more coffee from the little stall at the gate of the park when Patton felt his phone buzzed in his pocket. A text from Logan. Logan doesn’t usually text. Normally, he would just call, because—as Logan explained to him—it was easier to get a message across when they are talking to each other, rather than through text which could easily be misinterpreted. Patton thought that made sense. After reading the text, he sent a quick reply.

 

**From: Me**

**To: Logie**

**[09:14]**

_Proposition? It’s only been like a month and a half, Lo…_

 

**From: Logie**

**To: Me**

**[09:14]**

_No, Patton. What I meant was, I have a plan._

 

**From: Me**

**To: Logie**

**[09:15]**

_Okay, what is it?_

 

* * *

 

Logan nervously stared at Patton’s reply. He didn’t know how to answer that question. It was a simple question, but it was so difficult to answer. He showed the text to Roman, to which he reacted by giving Logan a stern look. A look which said, _“You know the answer to that.”_ Logan just sighed and typed a reply.

 

**From: Me**

**To: Patton**

**[09:17]**

_Are you free tomorrow? I would like to take you out on an outing._

_What I meant by that is a date._

_Though, only if you are fine with it._

 

* * *

 

Patton couldn’t help the squeal that escaped his throat. He held his phone close to his chest, restraining himself from bolting up and jumping up and down. He did, however, stomped his feet on the ground over and over in excitement. Finally! Patton wasn’t actually sure if he had any romantic feelings towards Logan, but he was willing to try. _Eager_ to try. He never brought up the subject of a romantic relationship to Logan, because from what Patton had gathered from their past outings, it looked like Logan was unsure. Of what, Patton didn’t know. Now, Logan was starting to open up to him a little more. This time, maybe they could actually get somewhere.

“What’s up, bro.” Damien was back with two cups of steaming coffee. He sat down on the bench again, setting the cups of coffee on the bench in between them. Patton looked very happy and excited—which was very common—but Damien rarely ever see his brother looking _this_ excited.

“LOOK AT THIS!” Patton practically shoved his phone onto Damien’s chest in uncontrolled elation. He didn’t know why he was _this_ happy about the idea of going on a date with Logan, but he didn’t care. He was just so excited for everything that could happen.

Damien smiled when he read the text. If his brother was _this_ happy about _just_ being asked on a date, he couldn’t wait until the day Logan proposed to Patton—if he ever will and Damien was sure he will. “Are you not going to reply him, Pat?”

“Oh, right.” Patton snatched the phone back and sent an enthusiastic reply to Logan.

 

**From: Me**

**To: Logie**

**[09:21]**

_Yes! Of course I can go tomorrow! Just send me the time and place, I’ll be there._

_I’m sooooo happy you asked!!!_

 

Patton wasn’t sure why he typed that last bit of sentence, but he had to let Logan know how excited he was.

 

* * *

 

Logan was still waiting for a reply. It’s been two minutes and no replies. Did he scare Patton off? Was this too early for him to ask Patton on a date? _‘Shoot, I ruined it.’_ He threw Roman a worried look. He was sure that he had blew the little chance he had to build a relationship with his soulmate. Of course it wasn’t a great idea to ask him on _a date._ Who wants to be with a weird guy like him? It didn’t matter that Patton was his soulmate, he still had the right to reject Logan. And from the looks of it, it wasn’t an unlikely thing to happen at the moment.

“Give it time, Lo. Maybe he’s just processing what you told him. I mean, you never asked him on a date before, so he might be surprised—and I mean in a good way—or he might be a little overwhelmed?—which is not a bad thing, alright…” Roman was starting to ramble about things. He wasn’t actually sure if Patton would send a positive or negative reply—that is, if he will reply at all. He wanted to take Logan off his worries, at least temporarily. He knew that Logan had been rejected a lot when they were younger—both platonically and romantically, and sometimes even by his own family. He knew that it was hard for Logan to face another rejection, so he would be there for Logan.

After another two minutes, Patton finally replied. Logan nervously opened the message and read it carefully. After he read the message, he had to read it again in case he misread it the first time. His face didn’t show an ounce of emotion, which made Roman a little concern.

“Well? What does it say, Lo?” Roman asked cautiously. Logan answered his question by throwing his phone at Roman with a deadpan look on his face.

“Oh God, Roman, what do I even do now?” Logan laid back on the sofa, his torso sagged both in relief and worry.

“Holy _hell,_ Logan! He said yes! Oh my goodness! I thought he said something else. _Geez,_ Logan, don’t you _ever_ react like that again. I mean, your face gave away nothing that I thought he—”

“Roman, please,” Logan interrupted. “What do I do now? He said yes, so what am I going to do?” He was nervous again. This was the second time Roman had seen Logan anxious like this. He didn’t see this side of Logan too often, but he knew his best friend well. If Logan was nervous, it’s usually about his grades or about his family. If Logan was nervous, that means he cares about whatever it was he’s nervous about. Now Roman could see it. How Logan was actually happy that Patton had accepted his offer by the way he blinked slower, the way his fingers were laced together in contentment and how a slight smile rested on his lips. Roman smiled at his best friend. He’s going to help Logan.

“Now,” Roman said with his trademark booming voice, “you are going to make a reservation in a fancy restaurant for the two of you tomorrow evening. But I know that’s not your style, so I will help you make _another_ plan for your date tomorrow!” He was already coming up with ideas in his head.

Logan was glad to have Roman as a best friend. Really, he wouldn’t know what he would do without Roman. He appreciated that Roman was always there when Logan needs him, so he tried his best to return the favor every time Roman had any problem. He was grateful that Roman cared for him, enough that he knew what Logan like and dislike, what kind of person Logan was and how to handle Logan in general.

“Alright,” Logan said calmly with a gentle smile, a fond look in his eyes. “Calm down, Roman. It’s my date, not yours.”

“ _Okay,_ Captain Spectacles, no need to get bossy.” Roman said with mock irritation, but his eyes held a joyous shine and his lips were upturned into a bright smile. He was happy for Logan.

 

* * *

 

That night…

 

**From: Logie**

**To: Me**

**[21:14]**

_I’ll inform you about the time and place for the date tomorrow._

_Have a pleasant night, Patton._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, my darling, wonderful readers. It has been another chapter and thank you very much for reading. I don't know how long this story will actually be, but since my chapters are short, it will definitely have many chapters. So, I hope you don't mind and keep reading!
> 
> Leave a comment on what you think will happen or would like to happen in Logan and Patton's date! I will have fun reading those comments and maybe get some inspiration from you. If I do adapt one of your ideas, I will credit you (don't worry, I will not steal, because ideas are difficult to come by!)
> 
> See you in the next one!!


	18. Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil had a flashback,  
> Damien shared a funny story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, this chapter has a lot of dialogue, so I hope you still like it. Please, tell me if there's anything that you think I could change in upcoming chapters.

Virgil liked writing. He wrote a lot, pouring his frustration, all his anger and sometimes his sadness into his writing. He never once show anyone his writing. When he chose to study language and literature, as well as creative writing, he had in his mind a dream of becoming an author. Building worlds, creating alternate lives to people and maybe, just maybe, one day he could inspire someone. It was a big dream, but he thought he could manage. That was the only time he ever felt sure about himself. This was the one thing he knew he was good at.

He did not, however, know if he was good at anything else than pouring words on paper. He always mess everything up, either for himself or for other people. He realized he was not like Remy, who was charming and vibrant. He was always darker, more hidden and secretive. So, it wasn’t uncommon for people to find him intimidating, mysterious—he didn’t know if that’s good or bad—and sometimes people would see him as downright weird. Rejection was not a new thing in his life.

Strangely enough, he never got used to the bitter taste of rejection. How the sharp sting of those words would attack him, as if tearing through his soul. How a heavy pit would settle in him, weighing him down. He once foolishly thought that he would get used to it, but even now, he still mind the unpleasant fog clouding his brain with self-loathing. It didn’t help that the one person that he thought would fully accept him for what and who he is had pushed him away. He didn’t understand why, but he wasn’t surprised. He didn’t blame Roman either.

He knew he needed to stop thinking about this. That he should move on, carry on with his life, knowing that he was supposed to have someone by his side. But, it didn’t matter. He wasn’t going to make Roman feel trapped by the restrain of fake love. He could let this go. _‘Could I though?’_

It had helped him a little bit when he talked to Patton a few days ago in the coffee shop. The man was all sunshine and rainbows personified. At first, he was still upset, but after talking to the older man, he felt more calm. Some part of Patton reminded him of Remy; always bright and joyful. He tried to bring back some of those calmness into the present, trying to focus on anything—anything at all—than the rising anxiety, bitterness and anger.

 

* * *

 

“So, kiddo, my name’s Patton.” Patton opened their conversation with an introduction. He was hoping he could ease the nervous boy sitting across from him. Virgil looked so shaken. It was apparent that he was angry. His eyes would dart to Roman with a murderous stare and he would clench one of his fist and scratch himself with the other hand in contained anger. Though, Patton noticed something else. His silver eyes held a sadness to it. Patton didn’t know Virgil at all, but he could see that whatever was happening, it made Virgil upset to a level Patton himself did not understand.

“Virgil Dudnickov,” Virgil tried to keep a distance between himself and Patton. He didn’t like talking to new people. And right now, he really didn’t want to talk about what’s happening.

People in the coffee shop still went about their daily routine. To Virgil, though, that day was different. _Felt_ different. Not only because he finally met his soulmate, but because he had never felt like this before. He knew what anger felt like, but he had never felt his blood boil at the sight of a person—a _particular_ person. He never felt his brain turn to mush of molten thought, sprinkled with red hot fumes of fury. It wasn’t nice. He knew he had to hide it, so he put on a face of indifference.

“Alright,” Patton’s chipper tone dulled slightly. “You know, we don’t have to talk about _this_ right now. We can just… be friends.”

“Why did you want to talk to me? You don’t even know me, so why do you care? And honestly, I don’t really need a _consultation_ about this thing—whatever it is that’s happening—because I don’t care.”

Patton paid no mind to Virgil’s hostility, but he still took note of his words. “Well, you don’t have to talk. I’m just here to listen if you do need to say anything. If not, that’s fine, too.” He still kept up his happy-go-lucky charm.

“Okay,” Virgil said briefly. “Okay.”

A beat of silence followed. Neither of them spoke. Patton kept an open expression, silently telling the other boy that he was still willing to listen. Virgil stared at his folded hands on his lap. He didn’t know what to think, what to say and he didn’t how he was supposed to feel. He was… numb. Virgil knew he still had to talk about _this,_ about his soulmate—even though said soulmate hated him. He exhaled a long breath slowly. Alright, he’s going to talk.

“You know,” Virgil started, “I thought I could get used to it. When you’ve been hated by everyone in your whole life, you would think you’d get used to all the negativity. That’s not how it works, though.” He paused for a moment. “I always thought I’d be fine. I thought a soulmate should be—I thought I was going to have someone who cares, but it doesn’t matter now. I—nevermind, that didn’t even make any sense.”

“Kiddo,” Patton said softly. His eyes held a softness to them that Virgil couldn’t comprehend. Patton looked so genuine. “It’s okay to feel confused, or hurt, or whatever it is you’re feeling right now. Emotion is not a weakness, so you shouldn’t hide them. It’s okay to talk about it sometimes.”

“I just thought that a soulmate was supposed to accept you for whatever or whoever you are. And honestly, I’m not blaming Roman, because he deserve to have an opinion about me. It’s just that I thought I could maybe have someone by my side.” Virgil’s voice was starting to get smaller. His anger was starting to fade and a hint of sorrow seeped into his words.

“It may not seem like it now,” Patton started, “but I promise it’ll get better. I don’t know how you and Roman will reach that point, but I swear you’ll get there, however long it takes. I really don’t know what is happening between you two, but it’s obvious that there’s a lot of anger. Just be honest to yourself. You’re allowed to feel. Maybe, that way you can find some way to make things better.”

Patton was emotionally intelligent. Virgil realized this. He tried to understand what Patton was saying. He didn’t know how to metaphorically open the bottle of emotion, but he could try. He found that it wasn’t awful to allow himself to feel sad or angry at that moment. He took a deep breath and looked up at Patton who still had a smile on his face. And surprisingly, Virgil found himself smiling back.

They continued to talk for another hour. In that hour, Virgil found that he actually liked Patton. The older man was patient and he was quite goofy, making puns and bad jokes. Virgil thought Patton was kind of like a dad. After that, at ten-thirty Virgil went off to class.

 

* * *

 

“Hey Virge, I’m going out.” The Russian boys weren’t usually up this early on a weekend, but sometimes they have off days where their bodies just retaliate. “You wanna come with me?”

Virgil considered Remy’s offer for a second and made his decision. “Nah, I’m just gonna stay here.”

Remy nodded and went out the door. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to do, but on a weekend like this he wouldn’t be able to stand being inside the apartment and not do anything. His feet took him around the city, not really having a destination in mind. Half an hour later, he found himself in the city park. Why did he go here? No idea. He went into the park, with a cup of coffee he bought in a small stall near the entrance and sat on the bench near the man-made lake in the middle of the park.

Some people were giving him weird looks for wearing sunglasses in the morning, but if they think he gives a fuck, then they’re wrong. The coffee wasn’t half bad, but whoever made it could do a better job if they tried. Surprisingly, he liked it there. Sitting in the park in the morning, the sun isn’t too high yet and he could still hear some birds chirping in the trees that loomed over him. What he hadn’t expect was to hear a familiar voice behind him.

“These days, we always run into each other. That’s weird.”

Remy whipped his head back and sure enough, Damien was standing near the tree behind him. He wasn’t as well-dressed as he usually is, but that didn’t make him look any less attractive. Grey sweatpants hung loosely from his hips and the black t-shirt he was wearing framed his body perfectly.

“I know right,” Remy retorted with a smile. “But I don’t really think it’s a _bad_ weird.”

“So, what are you doing in the park?” Damien asked, approaching Remy’s sitting figure.

“Well, it’s a public place.”

“Uh-huh, but I didn’t think you’re the type of person who’d enjoy quiet places like this.”

Remy just shrugged and patted the empty space next to him for Damien to sit on. For a few moments, they sat side-by-side in silence. They watched the flat surface of the lake. Calm and tranquil, reflecting the shine of the sun, making it glow with the morning light. They listened to the quiet breeze, fresh and cool. It smelled like dew and earth. Remy looked to his side, taking in the sight of Damien sitting next to him who was watching the lake. Some strands of hair fell on his forehead, dancing lazily in the wind. Remy looked back at the lake.

“Do you remember your _hour?_ My dad was so confused that morning.” Remy asked, breaking their peaceful silence.

“Oh… that was your dad?”

“What happened?”

“It’s a weird story… So, I was bored after I wrote my note to you—”

“Your note, that was basically you _freaking out_ and writing your thoughts on a post-it note.”

“Come on… _a_ _nyone_ would freak out when they find themselves in a different country without any explanation as to how they got there. Let alone another _continent._ ” Speaking of notes, Damien always bring Remy’s note to him everywhere he goes. In fact, Damien had it with him in the pocket of his sweatpants.

“Trust me, _I know._ ” Remy said, tilting his head a bit to emphasize the finality of his statement.

“Alright, anyway, after I wrote my note I was getting sorta bored. So, I went to your kitchen—which was awesome, by the way—and then out of nowhere, there’s a man standing behind me.” Damien told the story with wide eyes, remembering the awkward moment. “Then he said something in Russian, so, like… how do you expect me to answer it?!”

Remy bit his lip to prevent a laugh from escaping. He’d heard this story from his dad the morning after his _hour._ He had explained to his dad about what was actually going on. It was a very exciting morning for Remy, because not only he had his _hour,_ his dad was also sending him to the United States. Now, hearing the story from Damien’s perspective made it funnier in Remy’s mind.

“And then…?” Remy coaxed Damien to tell more.

“And then I just kinda… nodded and speed-walked to your room. It was _so weird._ ” Remy couldn’t help his laugh this time. He couldn’t imagine how Damien would act if he were to meet his dad again.

Damien smiled as Remy sat laughing next to him. Seeing and hearing Remy laugh brought an odd feeling of relief. He didn’t know why he felt that way, he just did. Remy reminded him of his brother who was always cheerful. What’s different is that Remy’s carefree attitude was paired with a sassy and mildly sarcastic personality that made him seem more alive than other people. After Logan asked Patton on a date that morning, Damien couldn’t help but imagine how it would be like if it was him and Remy. Right now, though, he didn’t have any romantic feelings yet—and it looked like neither had Remy—so he pushed the idea aside.

“I still have your rant on the post-it note. It’s  _hella_ funny. I mean, _gurl,_ what were you thinkin’?” Remy uttered through his laugh.

“Hey, don’t laugh at me! I was _scared_ alright.” Damien reached into his pocket, his finger reached for the small paper inside and pulled it out. “I still have your note, too.” He offered the small paper to his soulmate.

“Did you find the—I wrote something else in the back… did you find it?” Remy asked hesitantly as he took the paper.

“Yeah…” Damien said with a soft smile on his lips. He remembered when he first found the little writing. He had been so sad. He glanced at his soulmate who was looking back at him expectantly. “Why’d you put it there?”

“Cos’ I thought, it’s gonna be like, _forever,_ before we met so… yeah…”

Damien let out a chuckle. “Wanna go somewhere else? Or do you have something to do?”

“Nah, let’s go!”

 

* * *

 

Roman was frustrated. That whole fight with Virgil a few days ago left him with the toughest writer’s block. He couldn’t get the emo nightmare out of his head. Anything he did always made him think of Virgil. _‘So annoying.’_ Luckily, since he was writing a script, which was not too detailed—meaning he didn’t have to actually write all the details in a scene—so, he could ease up a bit. However, the writer’s block didn’t help, because that meant that all the dialogues he came up with were either too awkward, boring or it doesn’t show the character’s emotions and thoughts. The script was due in six weeks, so he better hurry.

After another twenty minutes of wrestling with his brain, he decided to take a break. It was nearly noon and he hadn’t had anything to eat yet, so he walked to the kitchen to make himself a sandwich and a cup of coffee. As he moved around the kitchen, his thought drifted to Virgil again. How he had been so angry that day in the supermarket and in the cafe. Deep down, Roman knew that Virgil deserved to feel upset. No-one liked to be shoved aside like that. He knew it wasn’t nice for him to act the way he did just because he didn’t like the idea of soulmates. But in his defense, Virgil had also been rude to him. Virgil had snapped at him back at the supermarket, even before he said anything. So, Roman liked to think he had a right to be upset, too.

He shook his head, trying to rid his mind of Virgil. He chose to eat outside on the balcony instead of in the dining room. _‘Who eats in the dining room, anyway?’_ His apartment was pretty high up, in the fourteenth floor, so he could get a good view of the city. The wind was stronger higher up, but he didn’t mind. He could see the city park in the distance and the lake in the middle, reflecting the sun like a mirror. In the back of his mind he thought, _‘That would be a nice place for a date.’_ Then, he immediately stuffed his face with his sandwich. Now was not the time to think about romance and all that.

Romance, love and passion. Roman was all for that. But, he hated soulmates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Thank you so much for reading!! This chapter was dialogue-heavy, partly because I was having a writer's block and thought that dialogues would easily convey what the characters are thinking and feeling. But, anyway, if you think non-dialogue chapters are better, do let me know.
> 
> We'll see Patton and Logan's date in the next chapter. See ya!


	19. At The Fair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Logan and Patton's date!

Logan was nervous. Incredibly so. He didn’t actually know why he even suggested the idea to have a date to Patton. He didn’t know if he actually have _any_ romantic feelings towards his cheery and goofy soulmate. Then again, there’s no pain in trying. If it doesn’t work out, he’s sure Patton would understand and they could stay as friends. There were still some worries he had, however. He wasn’t completely sure if Patton have any romantic feelings towards him. _‘That’s ridiculous. Who would ever like me in a romantic sense?’_

All throughout his younger years. Logan had always been called emotionless, soulless and robotic. The only people that ever truly understand him was his single mother and Roman. After some time, he ignored people’s comments completely. It was true that Logan was not good with emotions and feelings, even until now. He didn’t understand why people felt a certain way. It never made any sense. For example, Logan didn’t understand why people cry when they feel joy. If you’re happy aren’t you supposed to laugh or smile?

Right now, however, he was worried about his date. Yes, a _date._ Like a real, actual romantic outing. He decided to go to a fair nearby for the date. It’s a suitable place for Patton. He had texted Patton that it would be at six p.m. and that they should meet there. However, Logan was surprised that Patton didn’t know there was a fair in town. He had thought that someone like Patton would know about so-called fun places more than himself. So, Logan would have to pick Patton up for their date. He referred to the address that Patton had given him in his _hour_ note, but he still decided to ask Patton again just to be sure. You can never be too careful.

The fair was Roman’s suggestion. The places that Logan himself had come up with were too boring—according to Roman anyway—so he made Roman give him some suggestions. The fair had seemed to be a great place, especially for Patton. That's what Logan picked at the end. It’s five p.m. now, he should be off to Patton’s place in approximately fifteen minutes, so that they could arrive at the fair at six.

He stood in front of the mirror, staring at his reflection for the last time to make sure he looked presentable. He was about to wear his favorite button-up and tie combo, but decided against it. He didn’t want to look too formal going to a fair. He decided to wear a plain, dark blue t-shirt with a black button-up shirt as an outer. With that he wore dark pants and shoes. Casual enough. And with that, Logan grabbed his keys and headed to Patton’s place.

 

* * *

 

Excitement. That was about eighty percent of what Patton was feeling at the moment. What’s the other twenty percent, you might ask. It was a combination of nervousness, anticipation and pure joy. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was supposed to feel. He had never been asked on a date before, so of course, he’s never done this. Logan had told him that there’s a fair nearby. He was surprised that he didn’t know about it. _‘Oh man, this is gonna be super fun!’_

The excitement and anticipation made him physically unable to stay still. He was either tapping his foot on the floor, or drumming his fingers on the sofa or the table. When he’s not sitting, he would move from the kitchen, to his bedroom, to the living room and back to the kitchen, then to his brother’s room. This had been happening for three hours and it drove Damien nuts.

“Pat, you need to stop. fucking. moving.” Damien said with one hand dragging down his face when Patton entered the living room for the seventh time in three minutes.

“Hey! Language!”

At five thirty, the doorbell of the Harveys’ apartment rang. Logan’s here! In an instant, the excitement that Patton had felt all day dulled and replaced with nervousness. He couldn’t bring himself to open the door. He looked at Damien with pleading eyes, a look that said _‘I don’t know if I can do this.’_

“Go. It’s okay. You’ve been waiting for a whole day and a half, you’ll be fine.” Damien said reassuringly, stepping closer to his brother. Patton didn't move. Damien sighed and pulled his brother into a hug. Patton immediately melted into the loose embrace. Damien had always been awkward with people, but not Patton. He would do anything for Patton. He would even kill for his brother if need be. “Don’t worry. I’m sure it’s gonna be great, Pat. Now, go.”

The twins pulled away from each other. Damien gave his brother a warm smile and dragged him towards the door. Opening the door, he found a fidgety Logan standing awkwardly in the hallway of the apartment.

“Alright,” Damien said, “Go have fun, you two.” He gently pushed Patton out the door. “Not too much fun, though.” He said again with a wink at Logan who flushed. It’s always fun to tease Logan. Closing the door, he walked into the living room again.

 

* * *

 

The walk to the fair was quiet, but not a suffocating quiet. It was a comfortable silence, if only a little bit awkward. They didn’t talk much other than their first greeting and neither of them really minded the silence. The sun have just started to set, so they chose to watch the sky turned from its light blue hue to a burst of orange and red. A kaleidoscope of gold that shifts into a deep blue and violet.

Slowly, the bright lights of the fair came into view. Patton was ecstatic. His steps became lighter and he started to skip instead of walking. Logan’s lips curled into a fond smile as he watched Patton next to him. There was just _something_ about Patton that captured him. The way he always see the world so positively. And the way he could handle people so easily. He also found himself admiring Patton’s cheery charm and his sunny disposition. How Patton can be so bright and joyful all the time was beyond him. Maybe that’s what interesting about Patton. Maybe, his curious nature was drawn to this sunny man and he was eager to find out more.

The fair wasn’t too crowded. It was the right amount of people to give the place a delightful atmosphere, but not too rowdy. Patton loved the place. Especially the giant Ferris wheel in the middle and the brightly lit carousel. Once again, he wondered how he didn’t know about this place.

“Which one would you like to go to, Patton?” Logan asked, his eyes scanning through the whole place. “I suggest we go to the game stalls first before we go on the rides. Though, it’s all up to you.”

“Yes! Let’s do that! Oh my goodness Logan, look at that!” Before Logan had a chance to reply, Patton was already off to a stall with small aquariums. The small decorative fishes swam lazily. Their scales reflected a rainbow of holographic colors in the water. Patton watched the little fishes with fascination in his eyes.

“Look at this one…” He pointed at a blue grass guppy. Logan was taken aback by Patton’s childlike wonder. Most times, he would find it annoying. With Patton, he found it endearing. “It’s so pretty.”

_‘Just like you,’_ Logan replied in his mind. His face turned pink, but he didn’t try to shove the thought away like he usually did. He was glad the lights weren’t shining on his face, so the red on his face didn’t show.

“Patton, shall we move on?”

“Okay, Lolo. Let’s go.” Logan shook his head at the nickname, but said nothing.

They walked through the path of the fair, looking at little stalls along the way. Logan suggested to go to a dart-shooting stall and Patton happily accepted the suggestion. The girl who operated the game gave each of them ten darts to throw. If they manage to hit at least three bulls eyes, they can get the big prize. Patton went first, hitting the rim of the target a few times, but never the middle. Logan tried next. He took a deep breath and focused on the center. He missed the first three times. At his fourth try, he scored the middle. At the end, he managed to score four bulls eyes.

“Which prize d’ya want, folks?” The girl asked.

“I’ll take this one,” Logan said while pointing at the big, fluffy, white seal plushie.

Once the stuffed animal was in his hand, he passed it to Patton. “For you.” Patton hugged the soft plushie, joy radiating off of him.

 

* * *

 

“Can we ride the Ferris wheel now?” Patton asked after they played a few more games. By now, aside from the big seal plushie, they’ve earned three key chains and another plushie—a small bear for Logan. Patton wanted to ride the Ferris wheel, because he wanted to see the view from all the way up there. At night, the city lights must look beautiful.

“Alright,” Logan complied.

After queuing for about ten minutes, it was finally their turn. Since the car was small, they had to sit side by side instead of one in front of the other, or else their legs wouldn’t fit. The wheel moved at a snail-pace—the operator told them that the ride will take about thirty minutes—which gave the two of them time to enjoy the moment and each other’s company. After five minutes, their car was already high enough that they can see some buildings in the distance. The lights twinkled in the early evening.

“It’s so nice.” Patton broke the peaceful silence that settled between them.

“We are not even halfway up yet. The car will keep going higher for another ten minutes. I’m sure it will look much more beautiful when we reached the top.” Logan replied, looking at the buildings and lights outside. It really was beautiful. Patton let out a contented sigh and leaned his head on Logan’s shoulder. He didn’t seem to realize what he was doing.

Patton didn’t know what he was feeling. It wasn’t often that he would get confused by his own heart, but it does happen occasionally. Logan was… Logan wasn’t like anyone Patton knew. Compared to himself, Logan have a very different view of the world. He liked Logan. He’s not denying that. He liked how Logan is always calm, how he always seem like he know what he’s doing. He liked it when Logan gets passionate about things, like astronomy—mostly astronomy. He liked how Logan could sometimes read him like that time he offered some assurance in the cafe. He liked Logan.

The confusing part was that he wasn’t sure whether it was romantic or platonic. He felt too strongly about Logan for it to be platonic, yet not strong enough to be romantic. For once, he didn’t know what he was feeling. He didn’t mind, though. That’s just how feelings are.

Logan noticed the weight on his shoulder. He looked to his side to find Patton leaning against him, still looking entranced by the view outside. Patton had always been so vibrant and alive with joy simply coming off of him. Seeing Patton look so calm like this stirred something in Logan. He could see Patton’s eyelashes batting slowly when he blinked behind his glasses, his lips stretched slightly into a small smile. His wavy, brown locks smelled faintly of blueberry and Logan found that he liked it.

“Patton?” Logan called, his voice hushed.

“Yeah?” Patton said in reply.

“What are we?”

“I… I don’t—what do you mean?”

“I mean, what exactly are we?”

“Honestly… I don’t know, Logan.” Patton moved slightly away from Logan to look at his soulmate in the eyes. Logan felt sorry for losing the comforting weight at his side. “Do you, maybe, want something else? Between us, I mean.”

Logan let the question sink in, processing it. _‘Do I want something else?’_ He wasn’t actually sure. Of course, he liked Patton. A lot more than most people. He cared about Patton. A lot more than most people. That’s not the question, though. Does he want something else with Patton? Something _more?_ Maybe he does.

“Perhaps… what about you?” Logan asked hesitantly. The distant city lights in the background framed Patton’s slender figure, making him look prettier in Logan’s eyes. He saw hesitation in Patton’s eyes, but he wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad thing. The car is almost at the top now, they still have fifteen minutes.

“Yes… I do… Of course, I want something else with you. I mean, it’s you! How could I not want to _at least_ try?” Patton reached to take Logan’s hand in his, holding it in his loose grip. He looked at Logan, taking in how those intense, icy eyes watched him carefully. And, oh, look at him! His face is pink! Is he blushing? _‘Aw, so cute.’_

Logan was surprised by Patton words. He was even more surprised when Patton suddenly reached for his hand, but he let it happen. He pulled Patton closer, silently telling his soulmate to lean on him again. He circled his arm around Patton’s shoulder securely, holding him closer than before. They didn’t know what they were yet, but they’ll figure that out later.  


* * *

 

 

Damien was bored. It’s been more than three hours since Patton went out with Logan and he didn’t know what to do. At first the television was a good source of entertainment. He had watched _Coraline_ and then _Now You See Me_ —again. After that, the TV didn’t seem as interesting anymore. His social media was void of new things. Everything was so boring. So, he decided to do something else that might be more interesting. He unlocked his phone and went through his contacts. _‘Found it.’_

 

**From: Me**

**To: Remy**

**[21:17]**

I’m bored. You doing anything?

 

He doubted Remy would actually answer. He didn’t even know why he thought texting Remy would be a good idea. Then again, he didn’t really have anything to do. He was, for once, done with most of the assignments his professors had given him. Two minutes later, he heard his text tone as a new notification came in.

 

**From: Remy**

**To: Me**

**[21:19]**

You’re bored? (:P) And I care, b'cus…

 

Damien smiled at Remy’s reply. The emoji told him that Remy was being sarcastic. He liked Remy’s casual sarcasm. He would even say it compliments his own snarky personality.

 

**From: Me**

**To: Remy**

**[21:19]**

Wow… Aren’t soulmates supposed to care? (-_-")

 

**From: Remy**

**To: Me**

**[21:20]**

Too bad ur soulmate is me then

Why aren’t u w/ ur bro?

 

**From: Me**

**To: Remy**

**[21:21]**

He abandoned me to go on a date with Logan

That’s Patton’s soulmate, btw

 

**From: Remy**

**To: Me**

**[21:21]**

Aw, is lil’ Damien sad dat he’s all alone?

 

**From: Me**

**To: Remy**

**[21:22]**

You’re so mean

 

Damien’s smile widened. Remy was an interesting person. He seemed to be very open towards people, but in a different way than Patton was. Remy didn’t judge people right off the bat. He preferred to judge people based on his own observation. Damien didn’t know much about his soulmate yet, but he could tell that Remy would be a great friend. After another ten minutes of texting, he heard the front door being unlocked. Patton’s back. He sent Remy a quick text, saying that he needed to get off his phone. Remy replied with a thumbs-up emoji. He waited until Patton entered the living room with a big smile, a tell-tale sign that the date went well.

“So…?” Damien said, not needing to say the whole sentence for his twin to understand what he meant.

“Oh my goodness, it was so fun!” Patton said, bouncing on the couch. He set his big seal plushie next to him and squeezed its soft material. He was elated.

“Alright, spill.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So fluff, much cute! Thank you guys for reading! Please comment on what you think of this chapter, I tried hard. What do you think about Logan and Patton's interactions? What about Remy and Damien (I know these two are brief in this chapter). Anyway, I hope you like that and I'll see you in the next one.


	20. What A Monday Brings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman and Remy had a conversation and found that they're more alike than they initially thought.  
> Roman had two options: ignore everything that happened between him and Virgil—practically shoving aside the knowledge that Virgil existed—or he could make amends.

It’s Monday again and that means one thing. Mondays are the one day that Roman has a morning class. Actually, it means _two_ things. The other thing was that in this class, Roman had it with Remy —who he usually sat next to. After the fight he had with said man’s cousin—who was also his soulmate—on Friday last week, Roman didn’t know whether or not he was going to go to class. Of course, he didn’t actually _want_ to skip class, but he wasn’t ready to face Remy’s wrath. During the fight last week, he was saved from Remy’s anger by Logan who pulled him to another table. And, Damien had taken Remy out of the cafe, so Roman was glad.

Today, however, Roman was not-so-glad. _‘Is it worth it to skip class_ just _because of that?’_ He thought again. _‘I could just sit in another place. The classroom is big, anyway.’_ He walked into the bathroom to get ready after he made up his mind that he wasn’t going to skip class. He had some _minor_ difficulties with his original play project, so he needed to ask the professor for help if possible. _‘But then, it’ll look like I’m avoiding him. Well,_ I am, _but…’_ He stopped brushing his already-perfectly-done hair. Yeah, he’s _not_ going to skip class just because of a fight.

Making his way to class, Roman felt a sense of dread starting to settle in the pit of his stomach. He tried to convince himself that he can do this without messing up. It’s just an hour of lecture, which was not too long. Stepping into the classroom, he scanned the whole place to find an empty seat. To his dismay, the only seat were the one near the back of the class—his usual place where Remy would sit—and one in the very front, which he did not like. Weighing out his options, he thought to himself, _‘should I just sit in the front?’_ After a few seconds, Roman made a decision to stay in his usual seat near the back and he would endure Remy’s anger _somehow._

As usual, Remy would already be in his seat despite him not being a morning person. He was, surprisingly, never late to morning classes. Roman approached his usual seat carefully, eyeing Remy cautiously as if the man was going to pounce at him.

“Christ, _druzhishche,_ I don’t bite! Just sit your ass down.” Remy said when he saw Roman creeping closer. “You look like a prey avoiding a predator, y’know, _sestra._ ”

“Um—I, uh—I mean you’re not wrong…” Roman said, he sounded small unlike his usual booming voice. “Uh… are you—um—are you still mad at me?” He winced at how scared he sounded.

“Hmm…” Remy placed his hand on his chin in thought, squinting behind his sunglasses. “Nah. I’m not mad, _doll._ Just, y’know… thought you were better than that.” He looked up at Roman who was still standing and patted the seat next to him, indicating Roman should sit. Roman complied.

Remy’s words replayed in Roman’s mind once more. _‘...thought you were better than that.’_ Once again, he had disappointed someone. True, the two of them weren’t close friends, but they could have been had Roman not fucked everything up. He let out a heavy sigh and leaned back on his chair. _‘At least he’s not mad at me.’_ That’s good. _‘Right?’_

A moment later, the professor walked into the class. “ Good morning class. Let’s begin.”

 

* * *

 

An hour later, the class ended. Roman couldn’t focus on the lecture at all. His mind would drift to random things. For example, Virgil, his play, Logan and Patton, Virgil, how to talk to Remy, Virgil, more ideas for his play and also Virgil. Okay, it was mostly about Virgil. Roman didn’t know what he was supposed to do about his soulmate. He knew he didn’t want—or need—a soulmate, but having another friend wouldn’t hurt. Sure, maybe he didn’t have to be Virgil’s friend, but having a supposed enemy did not sit right in Roman’s mind. He had always wanted to be liked by _everyone_ no matter who they were. He wanted to build a good relationship with everyone. Right now, Virgil is dirtying his track record of niceness.

After packing his stuff into his bag, he stood and walked out of class, feeling unsettled. Still lost in thought, he walked through the almost-empty corridor of the campus. He was brought back to reality with a light tap on his shoulder. Looking over, he saw Remy with his travelling cup of coffee in one hand and the other hand resting on his hip. Roman felt a sudden surge of nervousness.

“Yes?”

“Well, _gurl,_ I texted my cousin and told him to go home. So, now I can talk to you.” Remy said, inspecting his travelling cup as if there wasn’t enough coffee in there. Truly a caffeine addict.

“Okay? May I ask, why?” Roman inquired, tilting his head a little. Was this the end. _‘Remy was probably just hiding his anger and now he is going to kill me.’_ He thought to himself. His hands started to become clammy, but he ignored it. He was a good actor after all.

“No reason. C’mon, sugar.”

 

* * *

 

Roman didn’t seem to bad. Remy could see that under those layers of arrogance and extravagant attitude Roman was hiding something else. He was more than a little bit intrigued by the tall man who was now trailing behind him. Of course he was still a tad bit upset about what happened to Virgil and by the end of that whole mess on Friday, he still didn’t find out what was written on the damn note. He wanted to know, but he also knew that forcing either Virgil or Roman to tell him would not work. He had to be patient.

Remy brought Roman to the small cafe right next to campus. It’s not as good as _Roast & Grind _ and certainly not as great as _Jacked Up Coffee,_ but it was enough. The cafe, _Steamin’ Mugs,_ was small, with only six or seven table in the corners of the cafe. From experience, Remy thought the drinks here aren’t bad at all. He picked a seat in the corner, next to the door, where the big window was. He liked seeing the view of the campus outside. Roman followed into the cafe and sat across Remy. He still didn’t know what was happening.

“So,” Remy started, “What’s up?”

“What?” Roman asked, bewildered. “You were the one who brought us here.”

“Look, I just wanna get t’know ya. Honestly, I know you’re not a jerk, even though you, like, acted like one that day. I just wanna know what’s happening.” Remy explained, his hands making vague gestures. “Also, what’s wrong with making new friends? Like, I know, we like, already know each other, but we never really _talk_ talk. Y’get what I mean, _honey?_ ”

“Okay… So, what do you want to talk about?”

“What happened last week? I mean, why were you so angry? From what I could tell you didn’t do anything to Virgil and Virgil didn’t do anything to you. So, why were y’all so mad?”

Roman pondered on Remy’s question for a little while. In truth, he didn’t know how to answer the question. He could maybe just tell Remy what happened, but that would mean that he had to tell Remy about the note. Once again, he had to weigh out his options. _‘Too much decision to make in one day and it’s not even noon yet.’_

“I—um, it was just—I’m gonna tell you, but please don’t get mad.” Roman stammered, squinting his eyes in anticipation. Remy nodded patiently in response. “It’s actually uh—you remember the note? Did you read it?”

“Virge didn’t let me.”

“It’s um—the stuff I wrote would probably make him upset… and yeah…” Roman uttered nervously. “At first, I didn’t know why he was suddenly so angry, back at the supermarket. Then, you brought up the note, so I think it’s that.” He explained, avoiding eye contact.

“Kay… and what made _you_ mad?” Remy added another question. This was starting to sound like an interrogation.

“I—it’s just… personal reason?” Roman answered, though he said it more like a question. It _was_ a personal reason of him not wanting a soulmate. Remy just stared at him with furrowed brows. Roman realized what the implication of his words were. _‘I’m letting my personal problem hurt other people.’_ He let out a defeated sigh, ready to accept Remy’s anger. However, all he felt was a tap on his hand. He looked up to see Remy looking at him from behind his sunglasses.

“You don’t have to talk about it.” Roman nodded and offered a small smile. Maybe, he _could_ be Remy’s friend after all. He didn’t realize Remy could be understanding.

 

* * *

 

Virgil was sitting on the couch with his laptop when he heard the apartment door open. Remy’s back from whatever it was he did. He said he was only going to be out for about an hour, but Remy being Remy, it ended up to be four hours. It’s past noon and Virgil hadn’t had any lunch. He didn’t feel like eating.

“Where are you from?” Virgil asked, still looking at his laptop, as Remy walked in.

“Just talking with Roman.”

“Roman?” Even now, the mere mention of the guy’s name brought an unsettling feeling in Virgil’s guts.

“Ya, _gurl!_ We have class together every Monday. We don’t usually talk, but I wanna try to _at least_ be nice. He’s your soulmate, so he’s gonna be my cousin-in-law someday.”

Virgil gave him a look of utter disbelief. Did Remy forget what happened _just_  three days ago? Did he not remember that Roman was a total jerk? The prospect of ever having _any_ kind of relationship—platonic or romantic—was so ridiculous in Virgil’s mind. Firstly, that is totally insane, because they did not have a good chemistry, shown by their petty fight last week. Second, Roman already hated him, so of course nothing between them will ever happen.

“Remy, are you sick? Or did you hit your head somewhere? You _know_ Roman and I will never work out. I mean, the guy hates me already and I don’t even know why.” The reminder that Roman hated him was not the worst feeling he ever felt, but it wasn’t a welcomed feeling either. He had once foolishly thought that soulmates are supposed to accept each other and they’re supposed to love each other unconditionally. Then again, stories don’t always have a happy ending, no matter how hard you try. Virgil sighed and leaned back on the sofa again, occupying himself with his writing. His professor had given him an assignment that morning to write a short story. Since he didn’t have anything else to do, he decided to do it as soon as he got home.

Remy walked over to stand behind the couch where Virgil was sitting, messing up his cousin’s hair and walked back to his room. He was, to say the least, worried for his cousin. He knew that Virgil had lived with so much negativity, especially when his mother died. He had plunged into a deep pit of depression and his dad couldn’t help much. Plus, his anxiety didn’t help either. Remy was a little scared for Virgil. He just wanted everything to end well. During the four hours of talking with Roman, they didn’t really talk about any heavy topics. All they talked about were really random things and mostly art, since that’s what they’re both interested in. He could see that Roman was not a bad guy. He still didn’t know what was happening between Virgil and Roman, but he concluded that with time, it will all reveal itself.

After another hour or so of sitting on the couch in living room, Virgil was finally done with his writing. His professor wanted a hard copy to be submitted, so he would have to print it. And since he didn’t have a printer, he would have to go to the campus library to use their printer. _‘It’s so far away…’_ He didn’t actually feel like going out to the library, but he didn’t really have a good excuse other than feeling lazy. Besides, he didn’t really have anything to do in the apartment, anway. Fortunately, he used an _Google Docs_ to write his assignment, so he didn’t need a USB drive.

“Rem!” He shouted from the living room, “I’m going to the library.” After hearing Remy’s shout of acknowledgement, he went off to the library.

 

* * *

 

Talking with Remy really gave him a lot to think about. Roman would have thought that Remy would be angry after the whole thing. Of course, Remy would defend his cousin. However, the only time they really talked about the fight was during the first thirty or so minutes of their conversation. After that, they had talked and talked for four hours. Admittedly, Remy was a really fun guy with an equally fun personality. No one could ever beat his sass game.

Once he was back in his apartment, he tried to finish the script for his play. He’d figure out all the plot and the characters. All he needed to do was write all the dialogues. However, just like the past few days, his brain didn’t seem to want to cooperate. He had ran out of ideas on what to do to keep his brain working. _‘Where is a nice place I could go to?’_ He tapped his pen on the desk, feeling restless. _‘Cafe? No, cuz’ I have to spend money or else it’ll be awkward. The park? No. No desk there. The library?’_ He paused for a second. Yes, he’s going to the library.

After packing everything he needed into his bag, he slung the bag over his shoulder and walked out the door, locking it behind him. Walking to the library, he enjoyed the usual sunny weather of Florida. It was still two in the afternoon, the sun was still high and small animals could be seen up in the trees as he walked past the park. After about ten minutes, he was standing in the foyer of the library. The library looked as majestic as ever. The humongous bookshelves and the giant wooden table reminded him of those libraries they have in movies. Smaller tables and reading spots were scattered around the library. Not too many people actually sit on the big table.

Choosing to sit on one of the table near the window, Roman put all his stuff down on the floor and took out his notebook and pen. Slowly, ideas after ideas started to come up in his mind and he worked with ease. It was a story that he adapted from classic fairy tales. The classic story of _Rapunzel_ , but he altered the story so it was somewhat _fractured._

_It was the story of a girl who was locked up in a tower. The king and queen of the land had been searching for her for years, but they never found her. The girl struggled with her identity, not knowing where she truly belonged. She felt trapped in the tower, but was too scared come out as her mother told her it was dangerous. Her mother never told her why it was dangerous, though._

_One day, the girl asked her mother if she could leave the tower. Her mother, again, told her that it was dangerous, but she felt sympathy for her daughter. So, putting both of them in disguise, the mother accompanied her daughter. When they reached a village, the girl became careless and left her mother. She became lost without her mother’s guidance. When the patrol royal guard spotted the mother in the village, they tried to capture her, but was unsuccessful. The girl watched the guards pursue her mother from her hiding place in the crowd._

_Then, she saw a bulletin board with a poster of her mother and a child—who she thought looked very much like herself. At the bottom of the poster was written, “Wanted, DEAD or ALIVE.” It was then that she understood why the outside world was dangerous. Now, the girl had to go back to her tower, where her mother would be, safely without getting captured. Later on, she met a boy who told her that he would help, but it was revealed that he was actually the kingdom’s youngest spy._

People would never assumed that Roman liked dark twists in stories. And it was true that Roman didn’t usually go for dark or thriller stories, but he liked reading those kinds of stories sometimes. Not too often, though. After an hour and a half of writing he looked up from his hunched position. His eyes wandered around the library, finally drifting to the computer section. When he saw a boy with bangs over his face, his eyes widened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, dear readers. I am very sorry that I have been gone for so long. Almost two weeks without posting. Today, I deliver you yet another chapter. Hope you liked it! See you in the next one.  
> \---  
> Russian stuff (roast me when you spot a mistake):
> 
> druzhishche  
> дружище  
> [Buddy; pal; mate]
> 
> Sestra  
> Сестра  
> [Sister]


	21. Reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman and Virgil had another fight—a smaller one, but it's a fight nonetheless.

Virgil picked the computer nearest to the door. He wasn’t going to be there for too long, anyway. Opening up the online word processor, he typed in his password and logged into his account. Before printing, he proofread his work one more time—and then gave it another reading just to be sure. Selecting the printing option, he walked over to the printer, not knowing that a pair of eyes were watching him.

Roman was not too far away from where Virgil was standing at the printer desk. Now that anger was not clouding his mind, he could see Virgil without the negative filter. Honestly, Virgil was cute. The faded violet hair complimented those silver eyes perfectly. His sharp cheekbones made him look more mysterious and dark. Roman refused to admit that he actually found Virgil attractive. He wondered what Virgil could be doing at three in the afternoon in the library. Was he working on something? As curiosity took over him, he decided to creep up to the computer where Virgil was sitting and hoped that whatever it was Virgil was working on was still there. What he found was quite surprising. He hadn’t expect to see a sixteen pages long story. Sparing a glance at Virgil who was still standing with his back turned, Roman scrolled up to the beginning of the story.

 

~~~

_Long ago, when modern humans emerged into existence, they brought with them four destructive forces; Death, Pestilence, Famine and War. Death was the oldest. Azrail, his name was, had been roaming the Earth since the simplest life came to existence. However, he never grew too strong. Next, came Pestilence. She wrecked thousands—sometimes millions—of lives. Oleander was her name. A poisonous flower. Spreading diseases to everything that lived. The two ruled the world from behind the shadows, alone. That was, until one day the humans came._

_When the humans emerged, slowly Azrail and Oleander became more powerful. They fed on conflict and feast on misery. After awhile, came Famine. Erysichthon was not one for mercy. He destroyed what little things the humans had. He created inequality, so food never went around. Last was War. Huxley was the most ruthless of the four of them. She destroyed and she killed. For a long time, Pestilence, Famine and War continued to work for Death. Taking lives for themselves, creating destruction for mere entertainment._

_With all the chaos that happened in the human world,_ The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, _ironically, lived in peace. They watched humans suffer and dwell in anguish and misery._

_Thousands of years later, came another horseman. Asghar was a small one. When he first came into being, the older four didn’t know what to make of him._

_“Who is that?” Ery asked in bewilderment. His questioning eyes roamed the little boy’s body. “He looks_ nothing _like us.” He approached the boy, his steps lithe and unsure. Asghar had taken a step back, avoiding Ery’s piercing gaze._

_“Look at him, cowering!” Huxley exclaimed from her seat on her throne of weapons, as an angel of war would. “He’s a wuss. I’d say we throw him out.” She was aching for some action._

_“Oh hush, Hux!” Oleander chimed in. “We just need to give him lessons. You know, some good care.” Her words were drenched with layers of dangerous sarcasm. She had disagreed with her sister. Watching the little boy suffer would be a lot more exciting than just throwing him out. To her, Asghar didn’t seem to belong in their messed up little family._

_Azrail had been listening his siblings discussing and bickering about what to do about the little boy. He had been watching Asghar from the shadows, eyeing him carefully, like how a lion stalks its prey. It really wasn’t too much of a difference. Azrail was, after all, the ending of everything. He was Death himself. He was the big predator looming over his little prey, which was practically anything that is alive. Eventually, he’d had enough of listening to his fellow horsemen._

_“Keep him.” Azrail didn’t take his eyes off of the little boy. “We don’t know what he does, but he might be useful.”_

~~~

 

Roman had no words to describe the story. He wasn’t even done reading the first page, but he was already hooked. The dialogues could definitely be improved, but the storytelling was incredible. He didn’t know Virgil was a good writer. He had tied the words in such a way that made Roman’s imagination ran wild into the darker sides of his mind. He wasn’t even aware that he had a darker side in his mind. Though, of course, everyone has a darker side. Roman just didn’t explore his.

He had been so absorbed into the story that he didn’t notice the hooded figure that was approaching. “What are you doing?!” Virgil almost shouted. What was Roman doing here? After he was done printing, Virgil had remembered that he hadn’t sign out from his online word processor account. When he went back to the computer, he had been horrified to see Roman sitting there, staring at the screen with interest. He prayed to all the Gods he didn’t believe that Roman was _not_ reading his crappy short story that was basically _The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse_ re-imagined.

Roman jumped when he heard an urgent, slightly panicked voice. Turning over to look behind him, he saw Virgil standing with a slight grimace on his face. He didn't have time to respond before Virgil shoved him aside and closed the site. He stared at the blank computer screen for a few seconds before diverting his gaze to Roman who was still sitting on the chair with a look of surprise.

“What were you reading?” Anxiety and panic was starting to build up in Virgil’s gut. _‘Did Roman read it? Oh man, he’s gonna laugh at me.’_ He tried to calm himself down before he sets himself off with irrational panic and worries. _‘It’s fine, he already hates me, anyway.’_ He continued to stare at Roman, waiting for an answer. What was he doing in that specific computer in that specific time? He needed to know.

“You wrote that?” Roman asked, pointing at the blank screen, ignoring Virgil’s frown.

“Yeah, yeah. I know, it’s bad, you don’t have to mock me! You don’t have to—”

“No, no… it was… I liked it?” Roman scolded himself for sounding so unsure. He felt discouraging. Then, he wondered why he cared. It’s just Virgil. There’s really nothing to worry about. It’s not like they’re friends or anything. But then, the conversation he had with Remy this morning had opened his mind a little. Remy was right, it doesn’t hurt to make new friends. Roman was aware that Virgil and himself didn’t have a good start, but he could maybe try to fix that.

‘Uhm—uh, wait, what?—you did?” Virgil couldn’t believe what Roman said. He must have imagined it. There was no way this jerk was actually being _nice._ The taller man only nodded as an answer.

“The dialogues could definitely be improved, but everything else was excellent. And I like the names you give them.” Roman offered a small, tiny-winy smile. In his mind, he reminded himself that he didn’t _want_ or _need_ a soulmate.

“Seriously?! Is this a joke? You were the biggest douchebag ever and now you’re being nice to _me?_ ” Virgil didn’t know what brought up the sudden anger. His chest felt hot like it might combust at any time and he could feel tingly sensations all over his body. He was _not_ having whatever it is Roman was doing. Was he trying to redeem himself? The bastard.

Roman was _done._ He had tried to be nice, he had tried to be friendly. And what did he get? A whole bunch of crap thrown at him. _‘Why does he have to be angry?’_ If Virgil wasn’t going to be friendly back, then he’s not going to try again either. It will all be useless and he would be wasting all his effort and energy. So, no thanks.

“I was just saying that I liked it. What’s so wrong with that? Why can’t you just accept my comment? Anyways, I didn’t come here to sulk!” Roman stomped away, marching towards the table near the window. Virgil watched him go with an unpleasant feeling in his chest. It wasn’t anger. It was something else. Guilt, he realized. Yes, Roman was just trying to be nice. Also, what’s so wrong if Roman _did_ actually want to redeem himself? A battle went down in his head. On one hand, he thought that if Roman didn’t hate him before, he certainly does now. So, maybe trying to approach the man was a terrible idea. On the other hand, maybe apologizing for his rudeness could possibly did the opposite. Maybe, they could interact like normal people without getting angry at each other all the time for no reason. But maybe, he should just ignore everything.

He thought about it over and over, still standing in front of the computer desk. When he glanced at the table where Roman was at, he could see that Roman was visibly distressed. He deserved to be angry after all. He was writing on a notebook or something like that from what Virgil saw. His brows were furrowed and his right hand—that was not holding a pen—was supporting the weight of his head with his elbow resting on the table. Feeling guilt creep up on him again, he cautiously approached the table.

The walk to the table wasn’t long. It was only a few feet away, but Virgil tried to delay it. He walked as slowly as possible, hoping Roman didn’t notice him and maybe he could avoid all this and just go home, watching crap television with Remy. But then, in no time at all, he was already at the table. _‘Too late to back out now.’_ Once he was at the table, the anger from earlier came back. Roman was the first one to start this whole fight with that stupid note, why was he the one who came to apologize?

When something blocked the sunlight, casting a shadow onto his notebook, Roman looked up to see what was blocking the light. When he saw it was Virgil, his face contorted into one of distaste. What is he doing here?

“What?” Roman asked monotonously, busying himself with his play project.

When he heard Roman’s obviously-annoyed voice, the anger that had simmered in Virgil’s gut became worse. He wanted to snap at Roman, saying that yes, he could hate Virgil all he wants, but it won’t change the fact that they’re soulmates. Also, why did Roman hate him so much anyway? Sure, maybe he was angry at the way Virgil responded to his compliment on his writing, but he didn’t need to be so… so… ugh! He pushed away all his anger and focused on the moment. Slowly, but surely, his anger started to dull.

“Look man, I know you hate me or whatever, but I shouldn’t have snapped at you either. Thanks about—uh, about the stuff—you know what you said earlier about this—” Virgil held up the printed papers— “so yeah. Sorry ‘bout that.”

Looking up from his notebook, Roman sighed. He didn’t know what was happening. One second Virgil was angry, another second he was here, apologizing. He didn’t even understand _his own_ emotions at the moment. He had been angry that Virgil had practically shove aside his hospitality. Now, there was no trace of anger after seeing Virgil standing in front of him, looking so nervous. Again, his messy brain told him that Virgil looked cute, but he ignored it. He sighed again and gestured at the seat in front of him, indicating Virgil should sit.

“I should also apologize for my uncivil action last week. I didn’t actually know why you were mad, but _I_ myself was angry. Really, I also didn’t understand myself.” Roman paused. He looked at Virgil who was looking at him with confused eyes. He knew it was the note, but he couldn’t bring himself to apologize about that. “I shouldn’t have acted the way I did.” He finally said. Virgil only nodded in acknowledgement.

An awkward silence settle over them once Roman was done speaking. They didn’t know what to do with themselves. Roman wanted to go back to his writing, but he also wanted to talk to Virgil, get to know him a little. Remy was a cool guy, so maybe Virgil was, too. What made it awkward was that they didn’t know what to talk about. They knew nothing about each other. They didn’t know what was happening between them. They did apologize after all, but they didn’t really apologize for the big things.

Not being able to handle the awkwardness anymore, Roman spoke. “So… uh… can I read that?” He said, pointing at the stack of paper Virgil had in his hand. Virgil automatically hugged the papers close to his chest protectively. Alright, no reading that awesome story, then.

Virgil saw Roman deflate a little after he silently rejected Roman’s request. “Okay, fine. Only the first two pages.” Roman smiled brightly, earning an odd look from Virgil. Guess, Roman really _did_ find the story interesting. For now, Virgil still couldn’t forgive Roman and he was still unsure about his supposed soulmate. The awkwardness from before still lingered heavily around them and it was slowly killing both of them, but it was still somewhat bearable for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all, this one is a super early update!! It's to make up for my lateness last week. Anyway, tardiness aside, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. And, PLEASE let me know what you think on Virgil's story. I'd like to know what your views are.  
> \---  
> For Virgil's story, the names I gave the characters have meanings to them:  
> Azrail [Death] = angel of Death  
> Oleander [Pestilence/disease] = poisonous flower  
> Erysichthon [Famine] = cursed with insatiable hunger  
> Huxley [War] = inhospitable place  
> Asghar = Narrow
> 
> See you in the next one!
> 
> ~ AJ


	22. A Chat in Roast & Grind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan had thoughts about his feelings—again,  
> Virgil didn't want to be there—at first anyway  
> Remy couldn't stop himself from flirting and Damien was confused  
> Roman was just there to have fun

“I’m almost done with the plot lines and the dialogues. I just need to edit it a little bit, and done.” Roman told Logan about his original play assignment. It wasn’t due until another month, but Roman was just too excited not to do it as quickly as possible. Logan didn’t know what to say. He was not interested in what he called as ‘professional make-believe.’ Roman had been offended and clutched his chest dramatically the first time Logan had called theater a professional make-believe. Theater is theater. It’s magnificent, grand and all things good. How dare Logan mocked it.

“Wouldn’t it be better if you use all three months time that was given to you rather than using only two months? Wouldn’t you have more time to perfect it further if you did that?” Logan asked, making sure Roman knew what he was doing. He may not be too interested in the whole theater business, but he still want the best for Roman’s play project. He still wanted to support Roman’s big dream of making it to Broadway someday.

“Well yeah, maybe, but I’m done with it already! The next months is probably just for editing and other stuff. Y’know?”

“No, I do not.”

“Logan, you suck.”

The day went to be uneventful. They had stayed in the coffee shop for a few hours, not knowing what to do. Logan was, as usual, done with all of the assignments he was given. Roman didn’t really have anything to do either. Usually, Roman had never run out of things to talk about, especially with Logan. Right now, however, his brain was not in the mood for talking too much which was a little surprising. His mind wandered, never settling on one specific subject. During his high school years, his mind was always occupied with numerous things if not about school. Mostly the drama that goes on in school. Now, he feels empty.

“Oh, by the way, Logan… how was the date with Patton? You haven’t told me.” Roman was very curious about Patton. The man was the literal opposite of the always-analytical Logan that he knew. The very first time he met Patton, he had been very skeptical about everything. He thought his beliefs on soulmates would be proven true. That it was doomed to fail. Thinking of a failed relationship, Roman could see that he himself and his soulmate was not going to work out well. He sighed, waiting for Logan’s answer.

“Well, it was… it was interesting, actually. We have not decided what we are yet, but I don’t mind. Patton was elated when we went to the fair. His childlike wonder always amazes me. I do not understand how his mind works. At times, he would pay attention to the smallest details, but other times he would act as though he doesn’t know what’s happening. His emotional capabilities also confuses me…” Logan trailed off after realizing he’d been rambling.

“Okay, yeah, you _do_ like him.” Roman said with a smirk. Logan only rolled his eyes and paid no further attention to his best friend. “Oh come on, Logan,” Roman teased again. “You _so_ do.”

Looking down at his folded hands, Logan thought about what Roman said. He knew Roman was just making fun of him, but some parts of his accusations rang true. Did he like Patton? _Of course,_ he did. He wasn’t about to lie about that. At least, not to himself. Roman’s comment brought him back to his date a few days ago. It was wonderful. He got to see Patton so joyful as though he was drunk on elation. It was new for Logan. New for him to see someone this way, new to _feel_ about someone this way.

 

* * *

 

“That was great, Lo.” Patton hopped out of the Ferris wheel cheerily. He took one of Logan’s hands and dragged him to the ice-cone stand. Logan was about to comment on Patton’s unhealthy choice of snack, but upon seeing Patton’s eyes shine with felicity, he didn’t have it in him to give refuse his soulmate's request. He thought he’ll let it go, just this once.

“It’s getting a little late, Patton. Shall we head back? I’ll walk you to your apartment.” Logan offered after checking his watch to reveal that it was a few minutes before nine. They’ve been out at the fair for about three hours.

“Awww... thanks, Lo!” After buying the icy treat, they went out of the gate of the fair, jostling their way through the ocean of people. Patton still had his giant seal plushie with him, squishing it in his hand. It’s just so soft and cute. He looked up at Logan who was standing next to him. His blue eyes popped against the color of the night. Not even the lights of the fair seem to outshine them. Patton’s joyous grin shifted to a small smile. _‘He’s great.’_ He chuckled at himself and dragged Logan onto the streets, heading to his apartment.

Patton’s steps were light, just like it had been when Logan picked him up from his apartment a few hours ago. However, there was something different this time. The certain spring in his steps made him bounce, making his wavy locks swish around. Logan couldn’t help but let himself mess with Patton’s hair, making the smaller of the two giggle. Even now that they’re away from the fair, Patton still had that shine that he always radiate.

Finally, they reached the Harveys’ apartment. As Patton fumbled with his keys, he said, “Tonight was nice, Logan. It was so fun.” He looked up, looking straight into those icy eyes, “Maybe, we could do it again sometimes?”

Logan smiled warmly. “I wouldn’t be opposed to that idea, Patton.” He let his gaze linger on his soulmate a little longer as Patton turned on his back to unlock the door. “I’ll leave now. Have a pleasant night.” As he turned away to leave, Patton took his arm, making him look over. Patton swiftly gave his arm a small tug and placed a small kiss on his cheek before smiling and disappearing into the apartment. He stood frozen, staring at the door with rosy cheeks and finally left after he shook his head lightly to get rid of the shock. As he stepped out of the apartment building, he laughed to himself. He didn’t know why, but he laughed it off anyway.

 

* * *

 

“Logan…” he was ripped out of his thoughts when Roman started to wave his hand in front of his face. He snapped his gaze at Roman, giving a silent question as to why his thoughts were interrupted. Roman nodded his head to the side, making Logan shift his attention to Roman’s side. And there, stood a smirking Damien.

“Oh, Damien. Sorry, I didn’t see you before.” Logan greeted awkwardly. Damien only shrugged and sat himself down next to Logan.

“What’s good, man?” Damien said, to which Logan gave a weird look.

“Means ‘what’s up,’ Lo.” Roman rolled his eyes. Logan never understood casual vocabularies or slang terms. They made absolutely no sense at all.

“Not much. I was just thinking.”

“Yeah? About what?” Damien asked again.

Roman shot him a teasing smile. Remembering Patton’s kiss once more, he coughed to fight the on-coming warmth that were starting to bleed into his face. Giving Roman a glare, he tried to come up with something to say that wouldn’t obviously scream ‘I was thinking about your brother and possibly in a romantic sense.’ The annoying teasing smile and knowing look was back on Roman’s face. Logan had to fight back the urge to kick his leg under the table.

At first, Damien was confused, but finally he caught on. Seeing the look that Roman shot at Logan, he might have a guess. “How was the date with Pat, by the way? He was really giggly when he came back.” he said with a teasing smirk.

Logan tensed as he heard the question. Roman had asked the same question earlier and he ended up embarrassing himself. Roman was fighting back a smile as Damien finished his question. Damien offered a hand at Roman and Roman gladly clapped it. Solid high-five. Logan rolled his eyes again. Could his friends stop making fun of him?

“Aw, loosen up, bud. We’re just teasing you.” Damien said, pulling Logan out of his discomfort.

“I’d appreciate it if you don’t do that.” Logan retorted, earning a laugh from his friends. He allowed himself to smile.

 

* * *

 

After another hour of chatting about random topics, Logan finally left to the library. He said, he wanted to do some reading before tomorrow’s class, to which Roman commented that he don’t need it and that he probably knows more stuff than the professor. After Logan left, Roman and Damien continued their chat. They were debating about different genres of movies and which one is the best. Logan had obviously picked science-fiction. Roman voted for fantasy and Damien for horror.

Roman had debated that fantasy is the best as they allow the audience to live in adventures and imagine possibilities of magic, mythical creatures and twists in stories. Fantasy brings hope to children. They give children a positive outlook towards the world and it lets them grow to be creative.

Damien debated that horror is better, because horror movies are the type of movies with suspense that gives you some adrenaline pumping in the bloodstream. The thrill that a horror movie brings is exciting and it keeps you at the edge of your seat. The gripping fear that you’d feel would linger for hours—or days for some people—and it keeps you hyper-aware. He debated that, like some food, horror is something you learn to like.

A few minutes into their discussion, the bell to the cafe rang. They paid it no mind, until someone slapped their table, making the jump.

“Sup, bitches!” Remy exclaimed, announcing his presence. “What are y’all doin’ _babes?_ ” A groan could be heard from behind him. Remy turned to shut Virgil up, shushing him into silence.

“Geez, you’re going to give someone a heart attack.” Damien said with a raised brow.

“Well,” Remy started, a flirty smirk bloomed on his lips, “I can give you a heart attack in a number of ways.” His tone was suggestive as he let his natural Russian accent slip into his words and he raised one eyebrow behind his ever-present sunglasses. He smiled again in victory upon seeing Damien’s flushed cheeks.

“Wow,” Virgil deadpanned and Roman let out a low whistle. The two glanced at each other before averting their gaze away, not acknowledging each other’s presence. Remy moved to sit next to Roman and let Virgil went to the counter to place their orders.

“What were y’all talking about?” Remy asked. He looked to his side to find Roman sitting stiffly. “Why so tense, Cascales? I don’t bite.” He playfully elbowed Roman’s arm, earning a small smile from the taller man. He nudged Remy back.

Damien was more than a little bit confused. The last time Roman and Remy saw each other, Remy looked like he was ready to murder the other. He had looked at Roman with so much anger that Damien himself was a little intimidated. Now, though, they seemed to be fine, which was odd. He cleared his throat, getting the attention of the two people sitting in front of him.

“Sorry, I thought the last time you saw each other everything was—” he waved his hands vaguely in the air— “messy…? And you’re fine now?”

“The last time we saw each other was Monday, actually,” Roman muttered.

“And we went for coffee.” Remy added.

Their explanation didn’t clear things up at all. When Virgil returned, he sat next to Damien and the conversation about movie genres started again.

 

* * *

 

“What? How dare you besmirched the name of Disney? This time, you have gone too far.” Roman said with disbelief.

“Really? _This_ is where you draw the line? Honestly, _Princey,_ don’t we all see the same movies? I think, you’d noticed all the dark shit they got there. Or, maybe you’re just stupid.” Virgil retorted, throwing in some insults at the end.

The discussion about the film genres had started calmly at first. Virgil had chosen thriller and mystery—to which Roman rolled his eyes—and Remy picked drama. Somewhere along the way, Damien mentioned that fantasy is just another form of lie. Virgil agreed by saying that fantasy is giving people fake hope. Roman had dramatically placed his hand on his chest and made a series of offended noises. How dare they spoil the fun of magic? Remy only chuckled lightly, watching Virgil have his fun making jabs at Roman. He thought, his cousin deserved a revenge after whatever happened between him and Roman.

“You know what,” Damien finally interrupted Roman and Virgil after their ten minutes of bickering about Disney, “let’s just change the topic here. You guys are getting dangerous towards each other.”

“Ah, yes,” Roman agreed. “Finally, some _good idea._ ” He gave Virgil a pointed look even though he was responding to Damien’s words. “I have questions for both of you!” Roman pointed at Remy and Damien.

“Uh… okay?” Damien hesitated, looking at Remy for affirmation. He didn’t really know why he needed Remy’s agreement.

“Okay! How did you two meet?”

“It was in the campus library,” Remy answered. “I was with Virgil and he was taking forever, so I waited on the big-ass table.”

“I was third-wheeling Logan and Pat,” Damien told them, he looked annoyed as he remembered that day. Being ditched by your own brother is not fun. “In the library, I wanted to be alone, but then this _annoying_ guy decided to sit in front of me.” Remy threw a cookie crumb at Damien once he finished his sentence.

“Who greeted the other first?” Roman asked again.

“Me.” Remy answered quickly.

“What did you say?” Virgil asked this time.

Remy immediately gave Damien a deep, flirtatious smirk and said, “ _Ey, milashka._ ” It was just like their first meeting. Damien once again went beet-red despite not knowing what his words meant.

“Oh my God… did you _really_ say that?” Virgil raised his brows. He was honestly impressed at Remy’s confidence.

“What does that even mean?” Roman asked quietly. Virgil looked at Remy, waiting if he was going to tell the other two. Even though Virgil didn’t really speak Russian, he understood some phrases. This one included.

Remy scoffed and looked at Damien, pondering if he was going to tell. He actually wanted to tell Damien, but not yet. Maybe some time later. So, he leaned up to whisper in Roman’s ear. Roman’s brows shot up. This guy is brave enough to say that in a first meeting? _‘Heck, my first meeting with my soulmate was a fight.’_ He let out another low whistle.

“You’re not telling me?!” Damien said, slamming his hands on the table lightly. “That’s not fair!” Remy stuck out his tongue and ignored his complains.

 

* * *

 

After another two hours, the four of them decided to leave the coffee shop, having had their fun together. Roman and Virgil didn’t really acknowledge each other’s presence aside from the debate earlier. Even then, the discussion was littered with insults. Damien was bewildered by Roman and Virgil’s interactions. They both could so subtly throw insults at each other and they did it gracefully. Damien almost asked how they did it. Almost. Remy was another thing. Damien had been surprised by Remy’s sudden flirting, but he found that he didn’t mind it. If anything, he actually saw it as a challenge. During their whole impromptu hang-out session, Damien didn’t once get a revenge towards Remy’s attacks. He swore he’ll get it.

When the four walked out together, Virgil walked the quickest, wanting to get as far away from Roman as he could get. Roman was the second one out. Remy was the third as he was occupied by his phone, so his steps were slow. Damien moved quickly to stand next to Remy. He looped one arm around Remy’s waist and pulled him a little closer. Remy let out a barely audible squeak out of surprise. Damien leaned over to whisper, lowering his voice, “I’ll get my revenge later.” He quickly pulled away and gave his soulmate a wink before walking the opposite direction, leaving a very flustered Remy standing in shock in front of the coffee shop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thank for reading! So... this was a day late, sorry about that. This one is very very dialogue heavy, which in my opinion is pretty annoying. If you don't like that, let me know. If you do, let me know, too. Leave some comments if you'd like.  
> \---  
> Russian stuff ( tell me if I made any mistakes):
> 
> Ey, milashka  
> Эй милашка  
> [Hey, cutie]  
> \---  
> See ya in the next one!
> 
> ~ AJ


	23. Fatal Collision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day started out great, but what's good doesn't always stay good.

Ever since he met Virgil, Patton always had the urge to find him and give him a hug every time the boy crossed his mind. They’ve only talked to each other for two hours, but he learned a lot about Virgil. The boy seemed to be very closed, hidden and secretive. Patton was determined to break those walls Virgil had built around himself, because he knew that deep down Virgil is a softie. Well, actually, Patton is known to assume the best of people, but what’s wrong with that? If his assumption is wrong, that’s alright, because then he could help them fix the bad parts of themselves. If his assumption is right, though, that’s even better.

Remy, Virgil’s cousin if he remembered correctly, and also his brother’s soulmate, was also there during that fight in the cafe. He remembered how Remy comforted Virgil and wasn’t even scared at Roman’s angry glares. If anything, Roman actually looked more scared at Remy. That day at the cafe, his brother had gone out with Remy alone. Patton never did ask what they did or where they went. Damien didn’t usually open up to people that easily.

The other day, Damien went out on his own, which was a little unusual. Normally, the twins would go out together, or Patton would go out by himself. It’s not often that Damien goes out by himself. When he came back, Patton noticed that he seemed happier than usual.

“Hey, Dee. You’re smiley today.” Patton said when Damien walked into the apartment.

“No, I’m not.” Damien answered absently as he flopped himself onto the couch. Patton walked over to his brother and raised a brow at him. Damien raised his brow in return and Patton raised his brow higher. To people who weren’t familiar with the twins, they would look think they’re having a _‘who can raise their eyebrow higher’_ competition.

“No reason!” Damien finally said, understanding Patton’s question during their eyebrow match. His cheeks were flushed slightly and, of course, Patton noticed. He poked at his brother’s pink cheek, which only made him blush more.

“Was it Remy? I bet it was Remy.” Patton asked cheekily.

Damien tensed upon hearing the question. He shook his head vigorously all the while his cheeks turned even redder. Patton only laughed and sat next to his brother. They ended up watching TV for the rest of the evening that day. Remembering that day again, Patton thought it was a good day.

Today, however, was not a good day at all.

 

* * *

 

Yesterday, Patton had wanted to invite everyone over just to hang out. Logan had agreed right away. Of course he would. He also told Roman about their outing and the dramatic theater student had also agreed with much enthusiasm. Patton then told Remy about the outing, to which Remy agreed on coming. Damien, of course, didn’t know anything about this plan, because to Patton, it’s always alright if Damien find out later.

It was easy to get Logan to come. And since Logan is coming, it’s also easy to get Roman on board. Besides, Roman genuinely liked Patton. It was a little awkward to talk to Remy, though. First, because Patton never really talked to Remy and second, because the Russian boy didn’t know that Patton had his phone number. He had stolen the number from his brother’s contact list. Eventually, he decided to give Remy a phone call, since it’s quicker and more convenient than sending texts. Normally, people wouldn’t think of Patton as an awkward guy with his sunny disposition, but this time he was willing to act less dramatic than usual, because he didn’t want to ruin it for his brother.

 _“Hey Remy, I know it’s weird that I have your number since we never really talk,”_ Patton had said in the call. _“So, I have a plan for all of us to hang out. That’s me, Dee, Lo, Roman, you and Virgil, by the way. What ya think?”_

Remy had been confused when he received the call, but Remy being Remy, he kept cool. “Okay.” Remy gave his reply. “You sho’ tho’ _girl?_ You want Virgil and Roman at the same time?”

_“Yes! Let them bond or something like that. They’ll get along.”_

When Remy told Virgil about the outing, Virgil didn’t like it. Obviously, he didn’t want to go, because not only will there be Roman, there would also be other people. Socializing is almost never fun. It’s exhausting. Though, with Remy’s constant nagging, Virgil finally agreed, but he was still reluctant.

“Just chill, _brateyek_ _._ It’s not bad, y’know. Last time you saw Roman nothing bad happened.” Remy had said. Virgil had to think about what Remy said for a few minutes before the war in his head finally stopped.

Today, the day of the outing was finally here. It wasn’t too big of a deal, but Patton felt like it was. He’s been wanting to do this since the first time the group accidentally meet up in the coffee shop because of Roman and Virgil’s fight. He thought, it would be fun if all of them could have fun together. There is never a downside to making new friends. Friends are delightful! They bring so much more color and joy to your life. It makes everything a little brighter and they give that sweet taste to your days.

“Hey kiddos!” Patton greeted with his usual chipper attitude with Damien in tow.

They had agreed to meet up at a pizza parlor not far from the campus library. Logan, Remy and Virgil were already there, waiting for everyone else to come. Virgil was surprised that he was actually having a relatively good time. Logan was just like how Virgil expected him to be. He’s intelligent and he always argue with facts and big words. He was what Virgil call a “walking wikipedia.” They both had a fascination of space, though Logan is much more knowledgeable than Virgil was.

“Sup, Harveys!” Remy greeted back, lowering his sunglasses slightly to show his eyes for a brief second before putting them back on again. Virgil only gave them a two-fingered salute.

“Salutations.” Logan said, looking up at the twins. After Patton sat next to him, Logan went back to his Ted-talk about space with Virgil.

“You guys talking about space?” Patton chimed in with enthusiasm. “Of course, _you_ like space…” he paused, giving Logan a side-eye, “after all, you’re _out of this world._ ”

Logan was confused. _Again._ He’s always confused about Patton. He understood the play on words and the intentions behind it, but he didn’t know how he was supposed to react. He looked to his side, squinting at Patton who was grinning from ear to ear.

“Oh, God, no. Please, no. This is weird.” Damien groaned from across the table.

“Shut it, Damien. As if you and Remy weren’t having a flirting game just the other day.” Virgil raised a brow at Damien and Remy.

“Look, Virge—can I call you Virge? No? ‘Kay—I didn’t flirt or even _say_ anything. Your _weird_ cousin did.” Damien defended himself, giving Remy an accusing look.

“Yeah, but you liked it, though.” Remy said with a smirk. “I mean, your face was red the _whole_ time, _milaya,_ ” He smiled proudly at himself when he saw the pink painted across Damien’s face.

Damien glared at his brother who was giving him ‘the look.’ The Harvey twins always give each other ‘the look’ whenever one of them did something funny or ridiculous is for the sole purpose of embarrassing them. Right now, Damien didn’t think it was the right time for Patton to give him ‘the look.’

“Yes. This is great. I’m fifth-wheeling. What a great time I’m having here. And no, this is _definitely_ not sarcasm. Not at all.” Virgil mumbled lowly, though everyone at the table could hear him.

“Looks like no more fifth-wheeling for you, Virgil.” Logan said, pointing to something—or someone—from the window.

“Just _great._ ”

For another few minutes, the conversation at the table continued. That was, until Roman approached the table and announced his presence in his booming voice.

“Hello, everyone!” Roman struck a pose with one hand on the air. “Sorry, I am a little bit late. I mean, surely I had to look good or else I’d wasted all that time hiding in the closet.”

“I could eat an alphabet soup and shit out a better statement than that.” Virgil deadpanned. This guy is probably _the most_ annoying human being Virgil has ever known. He’s obnoxiously loud and it didn’t help that he acts like a royal brat—it’s distracting.

“Hey, language!” Patton said sternly.

“I’m nineteen. I’m allowed to swear.” Virgil replied, folding his arms on the table.

“I’m twenty one and I _almost_ never swear.”

“Almost?” Logan and Roman said simultaneously.

“You should watch horror movies with him. It’s the _best_ entertainment ever.” Damien said, giving Patton ‘the look’ as a revenge.

 

* * *

 

Three pizzas and four big bottles of coke later, the group was still having their loud and energetic discussion about nothing. It’s been almost two hours since the start of their hang-out and Virgil was, again, surprised that he was actually having a good time. He especially liked Logan and Damien. He felt like he could understood them more than most people. Though, of course, he didn’t trust them just yet. He had also been trading insults with Roman for almost an hour by now, debating over the smallest, most insignificant things and disagreeing with anything that Roman said just to mess with his ego.

“Listen, _Hot Topic,_ theater and especially musical theater is _always_ a masterpiece!” Roman glared at Virgil who was sitting at the opposite corner of the table.

“Aw, you think I’m hot.” Virgil smirked sarcastically. “Also, why have theaters when we can just watch movies?”

“No!” Remy almost shouted. “I’m with Roman, here.” He then high-fived an overly-passionate Roman.

“Honestly, I’m on Virgil’s side,” Damien commented, smirking at Remy who was frowning at his statement.

“Listen, you _villain,_ ” Roman gave Damien an almost-malicious look, “acting on stage requires so much more talent! Plus, you have to modulate your voice when you’re singing so that everyone could hear your voice. That is so much more difficult than acting in movies. In movies, you can have more than one takes and you can edit it.”

“Are you always this dramatic? I’m starting to think you’re some kind of Disney prince.” Virgil said with a raised brow.

“That’s the only good thing you’ve said so far.”

“No, I meant a _failed_ Disney prince.” Virgil said again after he rolled his eyes.

Before Roman could answer Virgil’s comment, Damien’s phone went off. He checked the caller identification and quickly answered the call. “Hey, mom?” Everyone at the table went silent, giving Damien time to finish his call.

Slowly, his eyes widened and his face shifted to an odd expression. He looked over at his brother who looked at him with anticipation. “Wait, are you okay?” His voice sounded a little higher, worry apparent in his voice. He frowned deeper. “How’d that happen? Mom, it’s okay, calm down.” Giving Patton another glance, he immediately stood up and Patton followed immediately. “We’ll be there in a bit.”

Patton tapped his foot repeatedly throughout the phone call. His eyes showed something akin to fear as anxiety settled at the pit of his stomach. When Damien hung up, the twins stared at each other. To other people, it would look like they were having a staring contest when in reality they were having a silent conversation, understanding each other only from their eyes. “Let’s go,” Damien broke the silence and started moving towards the door. Patton followed without comment, leaving everyone at the table confused and worried.

“Where are we going, Dee?”

“Hospital.”

“What happened to mom?”

“Not mom. Dad had an accident. He’s in the emergency room.”

Patton’s eyes widened in surprise and horror. This was upsetting. Knowing that Patton doesn’t do well in a high-stress situation, Damien held Patton’s hand the whole way to the hospital for both of their comfort. They had to take a taxi to the hospital on the other side of the city. During the ride, the twins didn’t speak to each other, consumed with their own thoughts. Patton sent Logan a brief text, apologizing for their sudden departure and telling him about what happened.

 

* * *

 

While the twins were on their way to the hospital, the rest of the group were still a little worried when Logan’s text tone suddenly went off. A text from Patton. Finally, he could find out what’s happening. He hated being clueless.

 

**From: Patton**

**To: Me**

**[13:24]**

_Hey Lo, my dad had an accident. I had to go._

_Sorry._

 

**From: Me**

**To: Patton**

**[13:24]**

It’s alright, Patton. I hope your father is alright.

 

**From: Patton**

**To: Me**

**[13:24]**

_He’s in the ER n I’m scared._

 

Logan showed the text to Roman, asking what he should do to comfort his obviously-upset soulmate. “What do I do? I’m not good at this,” Logan said softly.

Roman gave Logan a look before replying, “I think you should go. Probably Remy, too.”

“What’s happening?” Remy asked, his voice hushed and curious.

“Their father had an accident. From what Patton said, he’s in critical condition.” Logan told Remy slowly. The two sat silently, staring at each other while processing the information. “You think I should go?” Logan asked again, this time asking everyone’s opinion.

“Just go, I’ll pay everything. You guys can pay me back later.” Roman reassured, pushing Logan lightly to urge him to stand up. “You too, Rem.”

“I barely know them, though. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

Logan was getting more worried and impatient, so he dragged Remy by his jacket, ignoring his complains. With them gone, Roman and Virgil were the only ones left in the pizza parlor. They sat awkwardly, looking at each other and trying to decide what to do.

“We should—” Roman started.

“I’m gonna—” Virgil awkwardly cut Roman off.

They both went silent before Roman tried again. “I’ll pay. You can go.”

“No, we could—I mean, if you don’t mind—maybe we could, like, split the bill in half.” Virgil grimaced at his own hesitance. “Just wanted to help or whatever.”

“Okay.”

 

* * *

 

“We’re looking for Mr. Harvey. We were told he had an accident earlier this morning.” Damien asked the receptionist.

When the Harveys arrived at the hospital, they didn’t know what to think. They robotically paid the taxi driver without a word and stormed into the hospital building. After they asked the whereabouts of their father, a nurse escorted them to the emergency room area where they found their mother walking restlessly in the waiting room, looking like she was about to fall apart at any moment.

Their mother looked neat and pristine as usual. The soft wrinkles on her face and arms showed her age, as well as the graying brown hair. However, her eyes had always hold a shine that made her look like she was full of energy. It gave her a graceful aura, like she was in control of all situations. She was not the most stunning woman, but to her family she was the most beautiful woman in the world. When the twins found their mother, she didn’t hold herself as she usually does. Her shoulders were slumped and she had one hand over her chest, as though trying to calm the thundering beat of her heart and her other arm circled around her waist, hugging herself for comfort.

“Mom,” the twins said at the same time, making her look up.

She quickly walked over to her children and hugged them. They held their mother between them, supporting her weight as she slowly broke down. Damien pulled away first, giving his mother room to breath and move while she still held onto Patton like a lifeline.

“I didn’t know what happened. It was fine—I mean, he didn’t speed or anything. I was at home and then they called me. I don’t—what’s gonna happen to him? I don’t want—” She spoke out a series of broken sentences, words colliding with each other in a haze of panic.

“Mom, mom… slow down, okay,” Patton tried to reassure his distraught mother. However, his worried tone didn’t make her feel any better. Patton could never handle seeing his mom cry.

Noticing that both his mom and brother were too emotional, Damien wrapped them in a hug. He gently tugged them to sit down, rubbing his mother's back in a soothing motion. Damien was never one for physical affection—except to Patton—so his attempt at comfort was awkward. He looked up at his brother who was whispering reassuring words to their mother while he himself was crying. Damien didn’t know what he was supposed to feel. Of course he was worried, but he couldn’t let go of his emotions.

“Now, tell us what happen, mom. Don’t rush. It’s okay.” Damien tried talking to his mom.

“He was on his way to work… I think…” She paused for a second before continuing. “They told me it was a drunk driver. Kind of ridiculous, to be honest… Who gets drunk in the morning?” That’s one of the thing Lily Harvey had in common with Patton. She always tried to change a topic or make a joke to deal with difficult situations.

“You know the last thing he said to me in the morning? He said—” A sob broke through her words— “he said ‘See you at dinner, Lily dear. Love you.’ and then he was off.”

Patton held her tighter in his arms and kissed her forehead for comfort. The twins knew how in love their parents were. They remembered how their parents could understand each other almost completely. They remembered how their parents knew what the other needed during rough times. They couldn’t imagine what it would be like if the worst thing that could happen were to actually happen.

 

* * *

 

“Slow down! I’m going to trip if you keep power-walking like that, _hun_.”

“Well, you should hurry.”

Logan and Remy finally arrived at the hospital across the city using the crowded subway. Logan didn’t bother asking for help at the receptionist. He immediately found the direction sign to the emergency room and followed them, once again dragging Remy by his jacket. By now, he knew that Patton would most likely not be able to handle a situation like this. Logan noticed that Patton tends to get emotional at almost any situation. He just hoped Patton was alright.

When they finally found the ER, Logan let go of his grip on Remy’s jacket and they scanned the room to find the Harveys. When their gaze found the twins huddled together with a woman—presumably their mother—Logan tried to approach them carefully. Remy didn’t know what he was supposed to do. Surely, Logan will be occupied with Patton. Then, what was _he_ supposed to do? Although Damien and him had made playful comments to each other, they didn’t actually know each other that well.

Logan walked over to Patton and carefully crouched in front of him and his mother. Patton who was looking at his shoes contemplatively slowly looked up and his watery eyes found Logan’s icy blue ones. Without thinking, he launched himself at Logan, hugging him tightly by the neck. Fortunately, Logan was strong enough to support Patton’s weight. He brought his arms up to wrap around Patton’s waist securely. He looked over at who he assumed to be Patton’s mother and gave her a shy, gentle smile. She immediately tried to compose herself.

“Hello,” She said softly. “Who are you?”

“I’m Logan, ma’am. I’m Patton’s…” Logan introduced himself and awkwardly trailed off.

“Ah yes, of course! Patton talks a lot about you.” Her words made Logan looked down at Patton who was still crying on his shoulder.

“Pat,” He said, trying his best to sound reassuring. “It’s alright.”

After watching Logan’s attempt to comfort Patton from a distance, Remy braved himself to approach Damien who was sitting still. His face was blank, almost emotionless. The only movement he made was when his chest rise and fall calmly as he breath and when he blinks. Taking off his sunglasses, Remy sat next to Damien, not saying anything, mostly because he didn’t really know what to say. Damien’s mom was talking to Logan now and she didn’t seem to notice that Remy was there. So, he ignored her for the moment.

“Hey,” Remy whispered, trying to get a reaction from his soulmate. Damien didn’t seem to hear him, so he tried again. “Day, you okay, _milaya?_ ”

Finally, Damien looked up slowly. He looked defeated. His mismatched eyes were hollow. He looked down at his folded hands again. Remy, once again, was out of ideas on what to do to comfort Damien. They weren’t comfortable enough for prolonged physical touch, so a hug is not an option. He tried speaking, but Damien ignored him.

“And you must be Remy,” A gentle voice brought Remy back from his thoughts.

“Uh, yes, ma’am…” Remy answered awkwardly.

“You boys are too polite.” She smiled. He noticed her watery eyes, but said nothing. “Just Lily is fine, dear. Both my boys have told me about you. And about Logan, too.” Remy only nodded. “Well, usually it’s just Patton making fun of Damien. They like having fun with each other.”

Remy couldn’t help but smiled hearing Lily’s tenderness when she spoke about her children. Following Logan’s lead, he crouched down in front of Damien, trying to make eye-contact. Once he caught those eyes, he gave a warm smile and placed his hand on Damien’s knee.

 

* * *

 

“What are we gonna do now?” Virgil asked awkwardly. He wasn’t really in the mood to go back to his apartment, which was weird, because that morning he didn’t even want to leave.

“You can go home,” Roman answered. “But then, if I’m gonna be honest, I kinda want to talk to you.”

Virgil gave Roman a weird look. Seriously? Didn’t this guy hate him? _‘What’s he gonna do? Make fun of me? If he did, he better not be allergic to nuts, cus’ I’ll kick his up to his throat.’_

“What? If we’re going to make this work, communication is necessary,” Roman said. His tone implied that Virgil should understand what he was talking about.

“Dude… what?”

“You know what? Never mind.” Roman moved to walk away. Virgil, surprising himself yet again, stopped Roman.

“No, no—I mean, like… sure?” He squinted in anticipation. _‘I bet he thinks I’m stupid now. Shouldn’t have done that. Virge, what’s wrong with you today?’_

Roman rolled his eyes. “Let’s go.”

 

* * *

 

It’s been a long hour of waiting. The Harveys still didn’t know what is the fate of their beloved father. Lily had another breakdown and Patton was there to comfort her every time, even through his own tears. It was still bright outside. It was only two thirty in the afternoon. The sunny weather didn’t reflect their moods at all.

“Excuse me,” a doctor approached them. “I assume you are the family of Travis Harvey?”

Damien immediately shot up, bombarding the doctor with questions. “How is he? Is he okay? He’s alive, right? When can we see him? When are we—” Patton cut him off by grabbing his hand, squeezing tightly.

“Well, I have some news about Mr. Harvey,” the doctor said again.

Logan understood that the doctor didn’t know that Remy and him weren’t part of the family. So, he rose from his crouched position and waved at Remy to come with him to give the family privacy. The doctor continued his report without Logan and Remy hearing, though Logan had his suspicions and he didn’t feel too good about it.

 

* * *

 

“From what we know, the collision in the accident came from the front. We found that he had eight crushed ribs and some parts of his spine was damaged as well,” the doctor paused, giving time for the family standing before him to process the information. “We have tried our best to do what we could. Unfortunately, with the massive blood loss and the internal damage caused by the collision, his body couldn’t take it and…” the doctor didn’t have to finish his sentence for them to understand what’s happened.

“I am tremendously sorry for your loss,” the doctor said with sympathy.

“NO!” Lily shouted at the doctor. “There must be something you could do! Please, save him!”

Patton was sobbing again. His legs gave out, so he had to sit down. Lily was shouting at the doctor and the doctor himself was taking every ounce of rage that she was throwing at him. Damien had to hold his mother back before she launch herself at the doctor. He held her close to his chest, hugging her tightly against her will. He nodded at the doctor and told him to leave. After the doctor left, he sat his mother down.

She was still shouting her husband’s name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm sorry this addition is a week late. I had to put extra time to this chapter, because it's bigger than the other ones. Sorry for the angst in this chapter, I hope you liked that. Let me know what to think of this one in the comments section.
> 
> Thank you for reading, see you in the next one!  
> \---  
> Russian stuff:  
> Brateyek  
> Братик  
> [brother (in diminutive form)]
> 
> Милая  
> Milaya  
> [pretty; sweet; honey]  
> \---
> 
> ~ AJ


	24. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Harveys were devastated. Things didn't go well for them, obviously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beware, there is more angst in this chapter. Enjoy!

Logan and Remy watched the whole thing from afar. When they heard Lily scream at the doctor, they knew immediately. This time, they didn’t know whether it was a good decision to approach the family. Patton was hugging himself by the waist, his chin on his chest. Lily was still shouting, pleading for someone to bring her husband back. Damien only sat there, holding his mother with a blank face.

“Are we gonna go there… or what?” Remy asked, his eyes wide. Seeing them like that was heartbreaking, especially Lily. He could sympathize with her even though he never knew her before.

“I don’t know…” Logan answered. He wanted to approach them and he wanted to help, but he didn’t know how. He despised anything and everything about emotions, and right now there’s a lot of it.

Before either Remy or Logan could do anything, Lily stood up from her seat and walked away from her children. Damien was about to call out to her, but she only said one word. “Don’t.”

Damien moved to sit closer to his brother, holding Patton’s hand to give him comfort. He didn’t expect Patton’s reaction, though. He yanked his hand away from Damien’s hold and sobbed louder. He tried to move away from his brother and looked up at Damien, giving him an angry glare.

“Do you even care? Do you care at all?” Patton shouted at Damien, making him flinch. “You don’t, do you?”

“Pat, I don’t—” Damien tried, but Patton cut him off.

“Bullshit! Don’t lie to me!” Patton stood up and stormed off to the opposite direction of where his mother went.

Damien watched his brother walk away. He was helpless to stop him. His stomach stirred uncomfortably after hearing his brother’s accusation. Damien had never seen Patton that upset. He’d never shout and rarely swears. Patton was wrong, though. Damien cared about their father. Damien cared about what’s happening and he wanted to make everyone feels better. _Of course,_ he cared about everything. About the accident, about his mom’s distress. He had been so used to concealing his emotions that he didn’t know _how_ to let go.

Logan and Remy were still watching the twins from the other side of the room when Patton suddenly yelled. Logan was visibly shocked. Patton, who’s usually a gentle, kind and caring person had snapped at his own brother. He had made accusations that Patton himself may not even know if it was true. Seeing Patton storm off, he instinctively followed, leaving Remy alone, not knowing what to do.

Too afraid to even think, Remy decided to walk over to Damien. He didn’t understand why Patton suddenly had an outburst, but with circumstances at the time, it was understandable. Sitting next to Damien once again, Remy didn’t dare say anything this time. He didn’t expect Damien to give any sort of reaction, but he hoped at least Damien won’t push him away. The silence was unbearable. The sound of the hospital buzzing around them didn’t help ease the tension. If anything, it sets as a reminder of the news they have just received.

“Am I cold?” Damien asked after along moment of silence.

There were three things that Damien had been called during his childhood: liar, uncaring and cold. He never really mind people’s opinions on his habits of lying, but the idea of people seeing him as cold and uncaring never sit well with Damien. Every time someone called him cold Damien would always hide away all his emotions. Everyone knew Damien, just like any other person on the planet, had emotions. They also knew that he prefered to hide those emotions, which was why they called him cold and uncaring.

“Um—I… why would you think that?” Remy was taken aback by Damien’s question. It didn’t make sense to him why anyone would ever think that about themselves.

“Because,” Damien paused for a few seconds, organizing his jumbled thoughts, “that’s what they always tell me.”

Remy was ready to give Damien a lecture about how wrong whoever those people were, but he didn’t do that, because he didn’t actually know if those people were right or not. From the short time that he’d known his soulmate, Remy didn’t see Damien as a cold person. He’s snarky and confident, sometimes funny in a weird way. Cold was not a word that ever came across his mind to describe Damien. Once again, he was out of ideas on how to comfort his soulmate. He couldn’t imagine what it must have been like to lose a family member and having the rest of your family walk away from you.

Letting out a small sigh, he brought his hand closer to Damien’s. He didn’t know what he wanted to do, knowing that physical contact is not something comfortable between the two of them. Though, he guessed that physical contact would actually bring comfort. Carefully, he linked his pinky finger with Damien’s, silently letting him know that someone was there even if he didn’t want to talk.

Looking at their linked fingers, Damien whispered, “I can’t even cry.”

 

* * *

 

It was still bright outside, but dark clouds were starting to cover one side of the city. It’s going to rain tonight. Virgil didn’t know where Roman was taking him and he was starting to get an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. He should have just went back to the apartment. Why did Roman want to talk to him? _‘I thought this guy hates me… maybe he wants to beat me up and… geez, stop it, Virge.’_

“The library? Really dude?” Virgil said in disbelief as they came closer to the library. “What are we even doing?”

“I don’t know,” Roman answered. “Anything, really.”

“You brought me here for nothing? Wow, I could’ve just went back and sleep.” Virgil rolled his eyes, his steps became slower as he dragged his feet.

“Look, Doom and Gloom, I’m trying to be nice here, but you’re making it very difficult right now.”

Virgil rolled his eyes again. Why would Roman try to be nice? It’s obvious that he didn’t want anything to do with Virgil. He always insulted Virgil any chance he got and he didn’t even try to be nice when the others were there with them, so why try now? _‘What if he’s trying to trick me?’_ More question and worries were starting to pile up in his mind. Groaning to himself, Virgil followed Roman into the library.

Trying to have a casual conversation in a library felt odd. It’s such a serious place. Everyone around them were reading, studying and discussing. Roman led them to an open reading space area where there were giant bean bags piled up in the corner. He threw himself onto one of the bean bags, sinking to the floor. Virgil didn’t move from his standing position. Roman nodded at the bean bag next to his, telling Virgil to sit—or sink to the floor. The nervous emo boy shook his head, refusing the offer.

“Just sit, Emo Nightmare.” Roman threw his head back in exasperation. Why does Virgil have to be so difficult?

“First, you’ve used that nickname before. Second, I don’t trust you.” Virgil said bluntly. He had no time for bullshit and he felt stupid for agreeing to come with Roman. What was he thinking?

“Look, I just—”

“Let’s not pretend like we like each other, because you _clearly_ hate me. I’m done with this.” Virgil turned to walk away, Roman called him back. And for some reason, Virgil felt the need to do what Roman requested. Then again, _maybe_ Roman is genuinely trying and he’s not about to do some jerk move.

“Fine, what do you want?” Virgil remained standing, looking down at Roman with his arms crossed and body leaning on one leg. His brows were furrowed, making tight creases on his forehead.

“Okay…” Roman said, a slight tremble in his voice, but Virgil didn’t notice. “I think that—do you still have the—um, no. I mean, do you still have the note?”

“What note?” Virgil tried to play dumb. He didn’t need this discussion right now. Especially not with Roman.

“You know what I mean. Now, come _sit down_ and then we can talk.”

“I don’t need or want to talk, so if you would _kindly_ let me go that’d be delightful.”

Roman huffed in frustration. He stood up, towering over Virgil, making the younger took a step back. “Why do you have to be so difficult?” Roman, fortunately—or unfortunately, depending who you ask—kept his voice low, keeping his volume down.

“Fine! Fine, _Sir I’m-so-charming,_ talk about whatever it is you wanna talk about. I don’t give a single damn about what you have to say. Clearly, you hate me _so much_ that you felt the need to write it down in an _hour_ note and now you want to what? Apologize? Or do you want to re-enforce your hatred? Get it out!” Virgil had to fight the urge to shove Roman off.

“Look, I tried to be civil, okay, and then you say shit like that! What the hell do you want me to do, _Charlie Frown?_ I wanted to straighten things out, but you reject me and—”

“You’re one to talk about rejection when _you_ were the one who kick me off first before you even met me! What the fuck did I ever do to you?”

At this point, the two were starting to get louder, attracting the attention of some people. When a girl shushed them, they went silent, glaring at each other.

“Alright, this was a mistake. Shouldn’t have gone here at all.” Roman muttered angrily. “Look, I just want to talk to you about stuff. I understand if you don’t want to right now, so you can go now if you want.”

Virgil was conflicted. On the one hand he didn’t want to have this discussion. He didn’t need to be reminded of how much he was hated and he didn’t want to be reminded of that fact by the very person that hated him. On the other hand, he was curious about what Roman’s was going to say. He did told Roman that he didn’t care, but it was more to annoy Roman. At the end, he just shrugged and, still with a frown, he tilted his head toward the entrance, telling Roman that they should go elsewhere.

 

* * *

 

“Patton.” Logan quickened his pace as they approached the main entrance of the hospital. “Patton, slow down.”

Patton halted in his track, whipping his head back. “Oh, I forgot you’re here. Sorry…” He tried wiping off his tears, but more were still streaming down his cheeks.

“It’s alright, Patton.” Logan carefully took a few steps towards Pat. “I’m so sorry for your loss.” He paused, not knowing what else to say or do. _‘How do people usually comfort each other? Patton likes hugs… should I do that?’_ He extended one arm, hoping Patton would reach for it. He didn’t.

“Please, leave me alone.” Patton managed to say through a series of hiccups.

“I just want to help.”

Patton stayed quiet for a long moment. “I never made him proud.” he said as more tears escaped his eyelids, “He always told me that he’s happy for what I’ve become and all, but I don’t know if I believe him.”

“I’m sure your father is proud of you. It doesn’t always have to be big achievements, Patton.” Logan took another hesitant step closer. “Sometimes, smaller things are just as good as big ones.”

Maybe Logan was right. Achievements don’t have to be big. They don’t even have to be academic. His mom once told him that being smart at school doesn’t guarantee your success in the world. Patton doesn't have to be the smartest person in the world. That’s not his strength and he knew that. He could, however, try to be the kindest person to other people. He doesn’t have to be the greatest person on Earth to make other people happy. He had always have his way to make other people feel safe and cared for.

When the doctor told him about his father’s death, he didn’t really know what to feel. It had been so overwhelming. When he finally understood, it felt like someone punched his heart repeatedly. Not enough to shred it to pieces, but it still hurts and the pain didn’t go away. He had been angry when Damien didn’t even react. Does he care at all? Do they mean anything to him? _‘Would he even care if_ I _died?’_ His mother had also gone somewhere alone without telling him where she was going. There was too much going on inside his head and he broke down sobbing again.

Logan wanted to hug his soulmate, but Patton flinched away. He understood that Patton wanted to be left alone, but seeing Patton who’s usually bubbly and cheery look so _broken_ made Logan feel something. He wanted to do what Patton asked him to do, but he didn’t want to abandon Patton either. For the first time in his life, Logan was the one trying to initiate physical contact. Logan was not a tactile person. He despised hugs. Right now, however, he felt that it was the only thing that would Patton feel better. When his attempt failed, Logan didn’t know what else to do.

 

* * *

 

Roman walked out of the library with Virgil following him from a distance. Confusion. That’s what he was feeling. Why would Virgil stay after that argument? It was obvious that Virgil disliked him. _‘What made him stay?’_ More thoughts and questions popped up in his head. As the small cafe near campus, _Steamin’ Mugs,_ came closer, Roman shoved his thoughts aside.

The bell above the door chimed as he walked in. He waited a few seconds at the door, opening it to let Virgil in first before following inside. He let Virgil picked the seat and went to the counter to order some drinks. When he came to the table, Virgil was looking out at the campus building, seemingly deep in thought.

“So,” Roman’s deep voice brought him back to the present. “Are you okay now?”

Virgil looked at Roman, who was sitting opposite him, with a neutral face. There were a lot of things he wanted to say, but he didn’t trust Roman at all to say those things, even if it was about Roman himself. Virgil found Roman to be overwhelming. The drama student was always dramatic and boisterous. He had been hopeful when he had his _hour._ He thought maybe someone who isn’t his family would accept him, not push him away and dismiss him as a freak or weird. When Roman rejected him through the note, he was ready to accept the fact that he’ll be alone for the rest of his life. But now, Roman was sitting in front of him.

“Am I ever okay?” Virgil said to himself, but loud enough that Roman could hear him.

“Look,” Roman sighed, “About the note… I was angry when I wrote it.”

“Why? Because you found out that your soulmate is a weirdo and you’d rather not have one?” Virgil’s words were harsh, but his tone was melancholic.

“Wha—no… It’s my dad,” Roman said, his voice sounded uncharacteristically small. He looked down at his folded hands on the table, blinking slowly.

For a split second, Virgil’s eyes softened. “You don’t have to talk about it, man.” He knew what it was like when people pressure you to talk about personal problems or issues. They weren’t familiar with each other yet and it was apparent, even to someone who don’t understand social cues, that they were very awkward around each other.

“I know… okay, anyway,” Roman started again, “I apologize. Also, can I read the rest of your story?”

“That came out of nowhere,” Virgil put on a bored face, but his eyes showed a hint of amusement.

“Can I? I think your story’s interesting,” Roman said childishly. “If you want, you can read the script I wrote for my play project.”

“Oh yeah… I forgot about that.”

“You know about the play? How?”

“Saw it on your desk during my _hour._ Your desk was really messy.”

“The mess helps my creativity.” Roman puffed out his chest slightly. He had always take pride on his creativity.

Virgil rolled his eyes. He concluded that Roman would always be extra at any chance he gets. “Just give me your email address or something so I can send you the story thing.”

“How ‘bout—um, how about my number?” Roman said hesitantly, his voice laced with anticipation.

Virgil narrowed his eyes. _‘Is this guy freaking serious?’_

 

* * *

 

Lily walked back into the waiting room only to find Damien and Remy sitting in silence. He couldn’t see Patton anywhere. But at the moment, she didn’t care. Her soulmate just died. When they were younger, Travis and her would always talk about how they would grow old together and that they would be happy together. They would talk about watching their grandchildren grow up to their adulthood. They would talk for hours about how their love would be eternal and that nothing could break them. Lily thought he was right, even now that he’s no longer by her side.

She couldn’t stop the tears from falling down her face. She missed Travis. She still remember the kiss he gave her that morning before he left for work. Before the accident happened. She still remembered the warm hug he gave her. She didn’t like how he would lie about what he was feeling sometimes, but she still miss it. She missed the little quirks and habit he had that she loved so much.

Walking over to where her son was sitting, she noticed Damien and Remy’s linked fingers. She thought it looked awkward, but she said nothing about it. In the back of her mind, a small thought emerged. _‘What would happen if one of them lost the other?’_ She pushed the thought away and approached them.

“Dee.” Lily’s voice was a little scratchy.

Damien looked up at his mother. Her face was flushed and wet. Her eyes shone from all the tears. They even looked a little droopy, as if there were invisible threads pulling them down. She sat next to him, looking at him with something in her eyes that he wasn’t familiar with. Damien furrowed his brows slightly.

“You’re my whole world. You and Patton, both,” She sobbed out. “Did I ever tell you that you’re so much like him? Travis always liked to appear tough. He hides what he feels… like you.”

“Mom, I’m sorry,” Damien tried to comfort her. He took her hand in his, giving her comfort.

“Don’t contact me, okay. I need to—”

“Mom, no. Please, don’t leave us…”

“I promise you I’ll come to you when I’m ready. I just need some time alone, okay dear?” She explained with eyes full of sorrow. “I love you. I love you both. Remember that.” She walked away again, leaving Damien feeling empty. His dad passed away, and now his mom was going to go into isolation? Even his own brother left.

“Day?” Damien heard a soft voice. Looking to his side, he saw Remy giving him a concerned look. He had almost forgotten that Remy was there, their fingers still looped together.

_‘Everyone’s gone. I hurt them. Why did mom and Patton have to leave me, too?’_ As he looked at his soulmate, he knew he needed to get away as far as he possibly could. He can’t hurt another person, and especially not Remy. Not his own soulmate. Damien abruptly stood up, snatching his hand away.

“I have to—I gotta go. I need to—”

“No, please. Don’t do that. You’re not—”

“I _swear_ I need to leave. Everyone around me is hurting. I did that to them. You can’t be around me.”

“Day, listen—”

“You don’t understand. I don’t want to hurt you!” Damien ripped his beanie off of his head in frustration, making a tumble of wavy brown hair fall over his eyes. He squeezed the fabric in his hands, seeking comfort from its familiar texture.

If there was anything that Remy wanted to say, they’re no longer in his mind. He stayed in his seat, looking at Damien who was now pacing around. He noticed how Damien was clenching his fists, relaxing them only to clench them again. Remy wanted to comfort him _somehow._ He needed to get the twins together.

Standing up slowly, he approached Damien carefully, not wanting to upset him further. “Day… Damien, it’s okay.”

“No. No, it’s not.” Damien’s eyes were starting to water. He was finally able to process what was going on. His father died. His mother went away. His brother was angry at him for some unknown reason.

“Come on, let’s get you to Pat, _milaya._ ” Remy gently took Damien’s hand and led him towards the entrance of the hospital. He hoped that’s where Patton was.

 

* * *

 

When he heard footsteps coming closer, Patton looked over to see Remy with Damien following behind him. He thought he was angry at his brother, but seeing Damien again made him feel relieved. He didn’t feel even the slightest burn of anger. Once he saw Damien, he knew immediately that his brother wasn’t feeling well. _‘Oh no…’_

“Dee!” Patton called out loudly, making Damien’s head snap up. He ran towards his brother and Damien met him halfway in a strong embrace.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry—” Damien murmured. Only then did he started crying. He held Patton close, seeking some needed comfort as his tears soaked Patton’s grey cardigan.

“Dee, stop it!” Patton sobbed onto his brother’s shoulder. The only thing that made him able to stand was Damien’s strong hold around his body. “I want to go home,” He whispered almost incoherently through a series of hiccups.

Damien let go of Patton and held his hand, towing him along to exit the hospital. They didn’t say a word to Remy or Logan, leaving them standing awkwardly in the hospital entrance.

Remy walked over to stand next to Logan, looking out the big glass door of the hospital until the twins were out of sight. They looked at each other, silently asking each other what to do. They were both clueless.

“Well,” they said in unison.

“I’m gonna go home,” Remy told Logan. His tone was mellow and his forehead was creased.

“I will also be heading home.”

They exited the building and went their separate ways. They both had a lot to think about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for reading. I hope you liked this addition. I don't know whether you guys have questions about the characters right now or not, but if you do please leave your question(s) in the comment section. At this point, there are probably many questions regarding the different dynamics of the characters (especially Roman and Virgil). I'll give y'all spoiler-free answers.
> 
> That's it for now, see you in the next one!  
> \---  
> Russian stuff:  
> Милая  
> Milaya  
> [pretty; sweet(ie); honey]


	25. Silence and Distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damien and Patton was still avoiding everyone.  
> Remy is a little worried.

The apartment felt empty without its usual hum of life. Damien wasn’t cooking in the kitchen. Patton wasn’t buzzing in the bathroom. When Damien told Patton about their mother when they got back from the hospital, they both felt worse. Like something was clawing at their chest from the inside, giving an unpleasant heat in their whole body. Damien ended up having to call the rest of the Harvey family—that is, the extended family—to tell them the news of his father’s death. He also told them that his mother didn’t want to be contacted. Though, Damien knew that one of his aunts will contact his mother anyways.

That night, the twins didn’t want to be alone. So, they both slept in Damien’s room. Well, Patton did. Damien couldn’t sleep. He twisted and turned on the bed, only stopping his constant shifting when Patton pressed his body flush to his Damien’s in his sleep. At the end, Damien was finally able to sleep with the comforting weight of his brother on his side.

They woke up much later than they usually did the morning after. Neither of them cared. They skipped class for the entire week. One of his uncles had texted him that the rest of the Harvey clan was going to take care of the funeral, so Damien didn’t have to worry too much. Really, neither of the twins were looking forward to the funeral. They wanted everything to be over and for the world to leave them alone for a while.

It’s been a few days now, Damien didn’t bother to count the days. The twins hadn’t gone out of the apartment during those time. Damien barely ate anything, even when Patton halfheartedly forced him to eat or drink something. He went to the big window of the apartment that overlooked the city, sitting on the floor where a big patch of sunlight hit the ground. Ever since he was younger, Damien never thought that he’d lose someone in his life. He always see his parents as invincible. He knew, of course, that everyone has an end to their life, but he never associate those thoughts with his parents. The death of his father was a reminder that nothing in the world lasts forever.

Patton was sitting in the living room sofa, looking at his brother in thought. He remembered the broken look that his mother had on her face when the doctor came to announce his father’s death. When the doctor came, he knew. He _suspected_ something wasn’t right. So, he had to stop Damien from getting his hopes up when he suddenly bombarded the doctor with a string of questions. Speculating and knowing were two different things, though. When the doctor told them, it felt like something hard and heavy had hit him right on his chest.

He got up from the sofa and walked across the apartment to sit next to Damien on the floor, letting the heat of the sun warm them.

“Mom was so sad…” Patton whispered. Damien didn’t respond other than a small nod of acknowledgement. “What would happen to her? She lost her husband and her best friend, Dee. I can’t imagine what that’s like for her.”

“Do you think,” Damien murmured back, “that we’d ever experience this in the future? That maybe we could—”

“Let’s not go there right now.” Patton didn’t want to think about that; what it would be like to lose a soulmate, what it would be like to lose a partner, to lose a best friend. He didn’t want to imagine what it would be like if he ever lose someone so important in his life. Still, Damien’s question brought up thought that had never crossed Patton’s mind before. He didn’t want to know what it’d be like if he ever lose Logan.

“Your phone’s been buzzing all morning. You should check it.” Patton told Damien as a buzz was heard from the dining table. The twins had turned off their ringtone the night they went back from the hospital. After Damien called the family, repeating the horrible news over and over, they were tired of receiving texts and phone calls of condolences. “You know who it is, Dee?”

“No. Don’t care.” Damien answered quietly, his eyes never leaving the view of the city outside.

“He’s worried about you, y’know.”

“Who?”

 

* * *

 

Monday came and went like it was nothing. Remy told Roman about what happened to the twins after their shared class that morning. He had tried to contact Damien, but he knew the twins were still grieving and that it was maybe better to let them be. But, he also remembered how broken they looked and how disoriented they had been that he couldn’t help but feel like he should help, somehow.

“It was real bad,” Remy told Roman once they got out of class. His voice didn’t hold its usual sass. “Patton had been so angry, Damien was really quiet. Logan and I was just… there…”

“I think you should visit them or something. I don’t think they’ll pick up their phones if you try to call.” Roman suggested.

“I don’t know if I should do that. Also, I don’t know their address.” Remy looked down at his feet. “Oh, by the way, when I got back to my apartment, Virgil wasn’t there. Was he with you?”

Something flashed across Roman’s eyes, Remy wasn’t sure if he was only imagining it. Roman looked ahead without paying any attention to Remy who was walking next to him. Roman didn’t seem to hear his question. He was about to repeat the question when Roman finally spoke.

“Yeah,”

“What’d you guys do?”

“Not much.”

 

* * *

 

“Why _did_ you write that on the note, then?” Virgil asked, not really sure he’d like the answer. That is, if Roman would answer at all. Initially, he didn’t want to discuss his _hour_ or the note, but now that Roman brought it up, he became curious.

Roman looked out the window in thought. He didn’t want to tell Virgil anything too personal. Not even Logan knew what happened to his parents. Virgil’s question brought up the memory of his _hour._ He had been angry at the universe for giving him the one thing he hated the most. He didn’t _need_ or _want_ a soulmate. Roman knew soulmates would only bring about unwanted love and relationship and it will only be complicated.

“I don’t know,” Roman lied. “I was just angry.”

“Well yeah, but why?”

“Because I don’t _want_ a soulmate.” Roman’s face hardened. He missed the hurt that crossed Virgil’s eyes for a brief second.

“Why not?” Virgil asked, his voice small and there was a slight tremor underneath it. “Wouldn’t it—you know… it’d be nice to—to have someone there with you.”

Roman looked over at Virgil who was looking down at his lap, hiding his eyes behind his bangs. Was it so wrong that Roman wanted to find that special someone on his own instead of having someone shoved on him by the universe? _Who_ even decided that soulmate is a good idea? Looking at Virgil once again, it looked as if Virgil was shrinking in his seat, folding in on himself.

“Sure, but don’t you think you can find someone _without_ the universe shoving a person on your face and saying, _‘this one’s for you.’_ Don’t you think that kind of thing is doomed to fail?”

“I don’t mind… I mean, it made sense that _you_ don’t want a soulmate. If your soulmate is me then you’re probably super unlucky.”

Of course Roman didn’t say anything to what Virgil said. Virgil wasn’t even hoping that Roman would say something. He wasn’t sure if Roman was listening to him at all. He looked up to the seat across him to find Roman looking at him with something in his eyes. Something Virgil didn’t like. _‘I need to go home.’_ It was becoming increasingly awkward, especially with the heavy silence that settled between them.

“Okay, anyways,” Virgil tried to break the silence, which only made things worse, because he didn't know what to say, “I think—I’m just gonna go home.”

“Alright. Oh and also, can we just… forget everything?”

Virgil gave Roman a questioning look, one that said _“I don’t understand what you mean.”_

“I mean,” Roman tried again, “Just forget about the note.”

Virgil scoffed. He stood and exited the building, leaving Roman behind in the cafe. _‘Forget everything? Easy for him to say. Sure, maybe the note’s no big deal to him, but why is it a big deal for_ me, _though?’_

Roman stayed in the cafe after Virgil left. He could see Virgil’s slim form walking away from the window. His thoughts drifted to his childhood memories.

Roman had believed in soulmates once, when he was younger. As a child, Roman had always dreamt of meeting his damsel in distress, or perhaps a prince of his own. He’d spent his spare times daydreaming about his soulmate. _‘What would they be like? I bet they’re beautiful.’_ Sometimes, he would giggle to himself imagining himself and his soulmate. Thinking back, Roman thought he was foolish. He didn’t want to think about that day again; the day when his imaginations of soulmates would turn sour.

After another hour in the cafe, Roman decided to leave.

 

* * *

 

“Virgil wasn’t in a really good mood when he came back. You sho’ you didn’t do anything to him, _sestra?_ ”

Roman nodded in confirmation. After a few minutes of walking, Roman stopped in his track with eyes wide.

“Roman, what—”

“I forgot I have another class! Aight, see ya, bye!” Roman shouted as he ran the opposite direction.

Remy smiled to himself, but it was gone as soon as it appeared. His thoughts went back to the twins. Back in the hospital, Damien had looked disoriented and he looked like he was trying to do something. Remy didn’t understand. All he could do was to be there for Damien. Remy was aware that Damien and himself barely knew each other. He thought it must have been easier for Logan to talk to Patton, since they’ve known each other better.

He still remembered Damien’s question. _‘Am I cold?’_ There was something behind that question, Remy realized. He let his mind wander, but his thought always come back to Damien again. _‘Maybe, I need to call Logan. Oh wait, I don’t have his number.’_ He shot a quick text to Roman, not expecting him to reply until an hour later.

 

**To: Roman**

**From: Me**

**[11:12]**

Ey girl can you send me Logan’s #

Need to call him

 

Remy was surprised when a reply came from Roman only twenty minutes after he sent the text. After saving Logan’s number in his contact list, he called the eccentric man. Remy actually liked Logan more than he thought he would. Though, he did find him a little bit too stiff and serious at times. The man also didn’t know anything about modern slang words, which was a little annoying if Remy would have to say so himself.

 _“Hello, who is this?”_ Logan finally picked up the call, going straight to the point.

“Ey, _gurl._ It’s me, Remy.” Remy spoke as he looked down at his hand.

_“Oh, good morning, Remy. How may I help you?”_

“Say, did you try to contact Patton or Damien? If yes, did they respond at all? Cus’ like, I’ve been trying to text Damien, but he didn’t even read my messages, so…”

_“I did contact Patton through text messages. It took some time for him to respond. He told me that they were alright, for now.”_

Remy huffed in confusion. If Patton answered Logan, why wouldn’t Damien respond to him? Maybe, it was because they weren’t too close yet or perhaps Damien just didn’t want to be contacted. Either way, he still wished Damien would at least give a small respond.

“Alright, then. Thanks, _hun._ Oh, one thing. Could you text me their address?”

_“Why do you need their address? I suggest you don’t visit them right now. I don’t think they want any visitors at the moment.”_

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Just give me. I won’t do anything, I swear in the name of the Russian _Sluzhba vneshney razvedki_ _._ ”

_“What?”_

“Logan, just send me the address! Aight, _ma’am,_ thanks.” With that, he ended the call and pocketed his phone. He was still desperately waiting for a single response from Damien. Maybe, he should contact Patton instead. He seemed to be the easier one to talk to.

Just then, his text tone went off.

 

* * *

 

“Remy,” Patton told Damien who was still sitting on the floor next to him.

“How’d you know?” Damien asked monotonously. He was curious, but he wasn’t too bothered either.

“I saw your notifications earlier. I think that was another text from him.”

Sighing, Damien reluctantly got up to retrieve his phone from the dining table and went back to sit by the window. There were, indeed, a few texts from Remy and other family members that he didn’t really care about at the moment. Remy had only sent two texts last night and another two this morning.

 

**From: Remy**

**To: Me**

**[19:21]**

_Hi Day, I know you probably don’t feel great right now. I’m really sorry about your dad and everything else that happened. You can talk to me if you want, okay. I know it’s kinda weird, because we don’t really know each other that well._

 

The text was a little long, but Damien found that he didn’t mind. Reading the text once again, Damien found himself smiling at the nickname Remy used. He’d used that nickname a few times at the hospital. He never thought anyone would ever call him with a nickname—one that’s not given by his own family.

 

**From: Remy**

**To: Me**

**[21:37]**

_I don’t wanna bother you or anything and, again, we don’t really know each other. But, you can talk to me if you need._

 

**From: Remy**

**To: Me**

**[08:35]**

_Day, are you okay? I’m sorry again about your dad. Do you need anything? Maybe I could do something? Or does Patton need anything? You guys are okay, right? I know this is annoying that I’m texting you these stuff. I just want to make sure you guys are alright. Talk to me or Logan if you need to._

 

Damien smiled again after reading another long text. He realized Remy’s texts were more formal than his usual text messages. Usually, he’d put emojis or use acronyms and shortening the words for easy typing. These ones, though, were in perfect spelling and in proper grammar.

 

**From: Remy**

**To: Me**

**[11:04]**

_So, it’s me again. I know you’re having a tough time. I won’t bother you again after this. Text me if you guys need anything, yeah?_

 

Running his hand through his hair, Damien was tempted to just shut his phone off and not reply. But Remy had tried to do something. _‘What is he doing?’_ Biting back a groan, he replied to the texts.

 

**From: Me**

**To: Remy**

**[11:23]**

We’re fine.

 

* * *

 

“Virge, _gde ty?_ ” Remy muttered to himself as he took his phone out. He’d been waiting for his cousin for nearly fifteen minutes. Usually, Virgil was always on time. He focused on his phone instead, reading the short text from Damien. The brief reply wasn’t satisfying to read, but at least he knew the twins were alright. He had a feeling that both of them were avoiding people, not just himself. Logan said Patton took a long time to answer his text, so that might be something, right? He sighed, fixing the position of the tinted glasses over his eyes.

“Yo, sorry.” Virgil was suddenly there, standing in front of him. Remy jumped a few steps back in surprise.

“Do that again, I’ll murder you.” Remy gave his cousin a glare, but Virgil couldn't see it through the dark glasses. “What took you so long?”

“Ran into Roman. Well, more like he ran into me. He was running and then the moron hit me right on my face.”

“And then?”

“And then we fell. Can we go now?”

The two walked out of the campus building side-by-side. Usually, Remy would talk about everything that happened during his day and Virgil would tune him out. Today, he was unusually quiet, only speaking to ask about food and not saying another word afterwards. Virgil noticed his cousin’s silence, but chose not to say anything. Remy had told him about what happened to the twins when he got back to the apartment. It was odd to see Remy look so serious.

When they arrived at the apartment, Virgil went straight to his room. As Virgil’s door closed with a click, Remy stood still in the middle of the living room. He wasn’t in the mood to do anything, but at the same time, he was bored. Neither the television nor his phone could keep him occupied for more than ten minutes and he was getting increasingly nervous for no apparent reason. He walked around the apartment, not knowing what he was actually doing or what he wanted to do. After twenty minutes of pacing around, he found himself in the living room once again. He groaned loudly as he threw himself onto the couch.

“I’m gonna call Logan again,” Remy muttered to himself as he dialed Logan’s number. He needed to talk about something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, this has been yet another addition to the story. I finished this one early, so I thought I'll publish it early as well. So, this one is really messy. There isn't any clear story in this chapter, but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless. Let me know what you think of this story so far down in the comments section. Thanks for reading!  
> \---  
> Russian shenanigans:  
> Слу́жба вне́шней разве́дки  
> Sluzhba vneshney razvedki  
> [Foreign Intelligence Service of the Russian Federation] - it's Russia's CIA
> 
> Где ты?  
> Gde ty?  
> [Where are you?]


	26. Mid-point Questions and Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The answers to your questions are here!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I POST THIS EARLY BECAUSE I DON'T THINK I'M GONNA GET MORE QUESTIONS.
> 
> Initially, I thought I won't have enough questions to make a separate chapter for the questions. And I was right. I only had 4 questions submitted to me even though I told you I'll have minimum 8 questions to make a separate chapter.
> 
> However, you guys gave me questions that require long answers, so I ended up making a separate chapter. Hope these answer your questions, guys.

**Are all soulmates romantic?** question from @HyperactiveLectiophile

Absolutely not! Most pairs are romantic, but _everything_ in the relationship is decided by the two people in the relationship. Most pairs who aren’t romantic still have a very strong bond and connection with each other even though it’s purely platonic. It’s like ‘best friends forever,’ but unlike those BFF stuff you say to your friends in middle school. This one, you’re _legit_ BFFs til’ death.

 

 **Have there been cases of soulmates being forbidden due to family/religion/race/sexuality/etc.?** question from @Your Magesty The Lord

Forbidden soulmates are possible. However, this only happened long ago when people were still traditional. In this AU, the world has never seen homophobia or racism. Everyone is pretty much treated equally. This is because your soulmate’s decided for you, so you don’t really have a choice in that regards. Forbidden soulmates usually only occur when there’s an arranged marriage or something of the sort, where people weren’t allowed to be with their match. This doesn’t happen too often anymore. Another thing is family. There had been cases where rival families have children who were soulmates (the chance of this happening is very small) and if this happens on of two things will happen; the family mend their relationship or a Romeo and Juliet situation happens.

Religion, race and sexuality is never an issue in this world. Homophobia or racism simply doesn’t exist in this world.

 

 **I’m just curious at this point: what are all the main 6’s favorite drink in this story?** question from @superultraflames

Damien: double-shot espresso with vanilla, topped with whipped cream and caramel. Or chamomile tea when he doesn’t feel like having coffee.

Patton: Hot chocolate with marshmallow

Logan: black coffee

Roman: Caramel macchiato

Remy: Russian coffee (black coffee with Vodka)

Virgil: classic cappuccino

 

 **What’s there to know about the different characters back stories?**  question from @Frost_sorcerer

Damien and Patton Harvey:

They’re twins, as you might know from the story. When they were children, people always see them as ‘the twins,’ but Patton was able to break out of that, so people would think of him as just Patton and not one half of a pair. He had lots of friends. Damien, however, was not very socially active. He didn’t have any of his own friends (other than Patton’s friends who were forced to accept him, because they were friends with Patton.)

Sometime later, Damien developed a habit of lying to make himself seem “better” than he actually is. He would still lie, even to himself, even if it was obvious that he was lying. He did this, because he didn’t want people to see him as a loser who’s no good in anything. He was nicknames ‘Slippery Snake’ by his classmates up until the end of high school. Eventually, he grew out of that habit, but he still lied more often than the average person.

The twins then grew up that way; Patton having many friends and forming his own community, while Damien is always on the side, just observing whatever it was that’s happening.

 

Logan Sharp: 

When he was younger, Logan often get bored a lot. Nothing was really that interesting to him to pay attention to. He didn’t have too many friends either, because people always see him as weird just because he didn’t talk much. Since he didn’t really have friends to hang out with, he only spend time with his parents. His father was a surgeon and his mother was a marketing manager. Logan developed a very formal speech since he was younger, because he was used to listening to his parents speak on the phone.

His parents were always busy, so Logan chose to focus on his school work to kill his boredom. Believe it or not, he wasn’t a great student when he was in primary school. He often ignore the teachers because he wasn’t interested. One day, when he was eight, his mother invited one of her colleagues to dinner in the Sharp residence. Her colleague brought her son with her. Roman Cascales. The two didn’t like each other at first, but eventually they formed a very strong friendship. They didn’t go to the same school, but that didn’t damage their friendship at all.

Then, in sixth grade the science teacher told the class that they were going to start learning more specific sciences in middle school, like chemistry, biology and physics. Logan didn’t care at first, but in eighth grade he learned about astrophysics. This was the first time he was interested in anything, so he started studying harder, not only in physics, but also in his other classes. Quickly, he rose to the top and became the school nerd. During these years up until the end of high school, Logan became one of the best students in his school. Once he graduated, he was accepted to the Sanders University, where Roman also studied.

 

Roman Cascales: 

Roman was a very creative child. Actually, he was still creative up until his adulthood. He would imagine different things, from being able to fly to becoming a prince in his very own kingdom. His parents told him about soulmates when he was five years old and little Roman was obsessed with the idea of soulmates. He would imagine being in love—well, a child’s idea of being in love—with his own soulmate and he didn’t care if they will be a girl or a boy or somewhere in between.

However, his dreams and imaginations about soulmates didn’t last long. When he was seven, something happened that turned his views on soulmates into an ugly one. _[author will not tell you more, because that is a spoiler.]_ Afterwards, little Roman hated the idea of soulmates, because he thought it would fail eventually. If not now, then it will fail later in the future.

One day, his mom brought him to her friend’s house for dinner. There, he met Logan. They didn’t have the best relationship at first, because Logan told him that he’s too loud. Roman didn’t care and called Logan a nerd. Eventually they became great friends and act more like siblings than friends. Roman thought Logan was a little stiff, but he didn’t mind.

Roman was a very popular boy in school. Especially in high school. Many girls and boys alike swoon at the sight of him, which Roman found hilarious. He had many admirers and Roman thrived with all the attention that he was given by the people around him. But, this also meant he had another problem. He never knew who were genuinely nice to him and who were trying to get on his good side.

 

Remus Galanicheff: 

Growing up in Russia, Remy always thought his life was boring. There were a lot of cool stuff you could do in Saint Petersburg, the city where Remy was from. The history of the city is also very interesting. However, he never had any interest in that. School life was also pretty boring for Remy. He was always at the top of the class since he was in primary school. While school was boring, his friends were not. Remy was very good with people. His sassiness attracted many people.

At home, Remy had close relations with his family. Especially his father. His father never had enough money for the family to travel around Russia, let alone around the world. The only places Remy even went in Russia is Moscow and Kiev. Only the famous cities. Twelve year-old Remy loved Moscow. He loved the _Sobor Vasiliya Blazhennogo,_ because of its weird shape and colorful features. The first time Remy went to Moscow was when he was ten. He and his father went to Moscow to pick his uncle up. He didn’t know that his cousin was going to come. Virgil was very quiet, but Remy liked him. They didn’t speak the same language at the time. In the two weeks that Virgil was there, Remy was able to learn English from his cousin. It wasn’t good English, but it was decent enough for someone who learned it in two weeks.

At the end of freshman year of high school, his teachers told his parents that he should skip a grade, because he was way ahead of everyone else. So, the next year, Remy was in his junior year. He wasn’t familiar with the older bunch, but he didn’t mind at first. What he didn’t realize was how different his friends and his new classmates were. The older bunch were a lot meaner. During this time, he met someone that will change his life _[author will not say more, because it will be spoilers.]_ After Remy had his _hour,_ he finally moved to the US and lived with Virgil.

 

Virgil Dudnickov: 

Virgil was almost never satisfied with his life when he was younger. Thankfully, both of his parents were very supportive. In school he was bullied a lot, because he was the emo kid. He didn’t really understand why he was never really happy, but he learned to deal with it, which sucked. There were times when little Virgil would try to make friends, but they would push him away. Like, literally push him away. Sometimes, if the bigger boys were bored, they’d come to Virgil and beat him up for fun. His parents knew about this, of course, but they couldn’t do anything since the reports they’ve given to the school were disregarded or dismissed as “kids being kids.”

Being half-Russian, Virgil was exposed to both American culture from his mom and Russian culture from his dad. However, Virgil was never really able to learn Russian from his dad, because he was always busy with his work. One time, his father had a business trip to Moscow, so he brought Virgil along. His father told his uncle to pick Virgil up so he could spend his time in Saint Petersburg instead of interrupting his dad’s work in Moscow. There, he met Remy for the first time. Remy was really fun, though Virgil thought he talked too much. That’s okay, though, because he didn’t understand what Remy was saying.

For the next two weeks the two boys spend their time together and they got along surprisingly well. Remy became his first friend. During his time in Russia, Virgil was able to teach his cousin English and Remy was really good at understanding it. After the two weeks were over, he was sent back to Moscow and he went back to the US with his dad.

Life become normal again. Well, as normal as Virgil was anyways. The bullying became worse once he got into high school. When he graduated, his mom told him that Remy would come to the US to study in the states. He was elated. His dad bought him an apartment near the university and a few months after the new came, Remy and Virgil lived together in the little apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will resume to the story. Thanks for reading and see you on Sunday.  
> \---  
> Собор Василия Блаженного  
> Sobor Vasiliya Blazhennogo  
> [St. Basil's Cathedral]


	27. A Visit and Two Omelettes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan and Remy gave the twins a visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've waited for two weeks for this chapter. I'm sorry this chapter is a week late.  
> Enjoy the story!

Logan had thought of a number of things that morning. It’s been four days since he last saw Patton and Damien. Obviously, he’s worried for both of them, but he also knew that they would need time for now. So, he limited his attempts to contact either of them. He’d thought about contacting Damien two days ago, but he decided against it. In the hospital, he remembered, the twins were only willing into interact with each other. Neither of them responded positively to anyone else.

Thinking logically, he knew that the twins would most likely be alright. However, the illogical part of him couldn’t help but overthink. It took a whole day for Patton to reply to his text message a few days ago. After that, he was glad that he didn’t try to talk to Damien seeing that there was a big chance his attempt would be ignored without a reply. The phone call from Remy didn’t help his worries either. The younger had called him with a slight concern in his voice, which in Logan’s opinion didn’t suit him at all.

Before another thought formed in his mind, his phone came to life with its unwelcomed cacophonous ring. He slid his wheeled desk chair across his room to his bedside table, taking the phone into his hand. _‘Remy?’_

“Hello, Remy. Anything I can help you with?” Logan said, getting straight to the point. He never liked small talks—it always gets awkward.

_“So,_ sestra, _I was wondering if we should…”_ Remy trailed off, as though waiting for something to happen.

“Is everything alright?”

_“Yeah, yeah it’s fine,”_ Remy sighed. _“Y’think we should do something about Patton and Damien?”_

Should they? Logan had entertained that thought earlier that morning, yet another part him knew that wasn’t something the twins would appreciate. They needed their time alone. They needed their space for now. Though of course, it might be easier for them to cope with their loss if they had someone to talk to other than each other. He was partially glad that they had each other. Still, the question lingered in his mind.

“I’m not quite sure, Remy.” He paused, thinking further. “Maybe we should give them space. And even if we do actually do something to… _help_ them, what do you propose we do?”

_“We could visit them…”_ The swiftness of Remy’s answer told Logan that he’d been thinking about this. _“Or we could_ maybe _try to talk to them again—though I don’t think that works,_ hun… _”_

“I do not think it is wise for us to come to their place uninvited. It is apparent that they do not wish any contact or interaction with any of us for now.” Logan understood Remy’s worries. He, too, had been a little concern for the Harveys’ well being.

_“True. But then, we could convince them?”_

“Firstly, how would you do that when they refuse all contact. Secondly, that sounds a lot like we’re forcing them to do what they do not want to. Last, I would not like to invade the space they need.”

_“Ugh… c’mon_ hun! _Like, seriously.”_

Logan sighed. Surely Remy had some kind of common sense. The twins didn’t need people to come barging into their apartment. It would be rude and uncomfortable for everyone involved. But he also knew that isolating yourself is not good. He’d read somewhere that as humans, people require human contact to more than two people a day. Then again, it’s only been four days. He sighed again. What should they do now?

“Alright, I’ll see if they don’t mind with us visiting them.”

_“Aight. Thanks, babe!”_ And with that, the call ended.

 

* * *

 

It’s three in the afternoon. The sun is still high and although it’s not scorching hot outside, an uncomfortable heat settled on Remy’s back. Was it _really_ a good decision to do this? It’s been a few hours since his phone call with Logan, and now they’re standing in front of the twins’ apartment door.

Logan had been incredibly reluctant. Remy couldn’t even believe that he actually managed to make Logan agree to this plan. He did agree with Logan’s arguments. He didn’t want to invade the Harveys’ space, but he also wanted to see them—at least once this week. He let out a sigh, preparing himself as Logan knocked on the door.

Three sharp knocks. The door opened silently.

After Remy’s phone call earlier that day, Logan had contacted Patton, asking if it was alright if he wanted to visit. He didn’t mention Remy during the call, but he hoped that Patton would forgive him for bringing an extra person with him. As the door swung open slowly, he started to regret his decision to come. This was not a good idea.

Behind the door was a disheveled-looking Damien. His wavy hair was tangled, as if a bird had nested right on his head. His mismatched eyes were half-lidded and his body was slouched, as though reluctant to stand.

“Damien—”

“Why are you here?” Damien cut Logan off abruptly.

“Patton didn’t tell you?”

“Ugh…” Damien groaned loudly, though it was most likely directed to his brother than his guests. He walked away from the door, disappearing into the apartment and leaving the door ajar. “Why does he never tell me anything?”

Remy and Logan were left standing awkwardly in the hallway of the building. They stayed, unmoving, until another set of footsteps was heard. Patton peeked over the half-closed door. He didn't seem to be in any better condition than his brother, though he tried to smile. The smile didn’t reach his tired eyes, only a vague movement of muscle. His eyes were a little puffy, but neither Remy nor Logan said anything. He stayed silent for a few seconds before speaking.

“I didn’t know you were coming.” His eyes settled on Remy, making the younger shift uncomfortably. “Sorry about Dee, he’s just… yeah.”

He led his guests into the living room that had been left untouched for a few days. In fact, most of the apartment was clean and neat, seeing as both Patton and Damien locked themselves in their bedrooms. Walking past the clean kitchen, Patton suddenly remembered that his brother hadn’t eaten anything in almost two days. Patton himself hadn’t eaten anything other than a bowl of cereal that morning. It tasted bland.

He walked back into the living room, sitting next to Logan on the sofa. He leaned back and looked up at the ceiling. “So, why are you here?”

“We just wanted to make sure that both of you are alright here, Patton,” Logan answered. “Where’s Damien?”

“In his room.” Patton’s voice was monotonous; a stark contrast from his usual bouncy tone.

“Where is his room? Can I go there?” Remy who had been quiet the whole time finally spoke up.

“Down the hall, second door on the left. I dunno if he’ll respond to you, though.” Patton pointed lamely at the short hallway next to the living room.

Remy stood, leaving his bag in the living room and stepped into the hallway.

Patton was still watching Remy’s back disappear into the hallway when a voice interrupted the temporary silence in the living room.

“Patton, when was the last time you slept?” Logan asked. He shifted on the sofa, angling his body slightly to face Patton.

“Prob’ly last night?”

“Probably? How are you not sure?”

Patton shrugged, not caring about Logan’s reaction. At first, he had tried to mask his grief with an act of indifference. But, after two days of doing that it got very tiring and the effort drained his already-not-there energy. He sighed as he looked up at the ceiling again. His hand drifted, taking Logan’s larger hand into his. He sought comfort in the warmth of Logan’s hand. Maybe, if he gripped hard enough, he could squeeze the memory of the day in the hospital. Maybe, he could forget about everything just for a second.

He needed a hug. Not from Logan, though. He wanted his dad’s hug. He missed his dad already even though it hasn’t even been a week. He still remembered the times when he was younger. Dad would bring him and Damien to the little shed in the backyard where he would play with wooden tools while Damien bombarded their dad with random questions. He also remembered the times when his mom and dad would share a laugh for no reason. Patton never understood them, but he knew they loved each other with every ounce of their being.

“Patton, sleep is necessary for optimal health. You need to have a healthy sleeping schedule.” Logan’s cool voice broke through his path down memory lane. Patton didn’t move other than slow blinking under his glasses and his steady breathing. He looked at Logan briefly before looking back at the ceiling.

Logan sighed. He didn’t know what else to do other than squeeze Patton’s hand back.

 

* * *

 

Remy knocked on Damien’s door. He knew his soulmate was inside, because he could hear faint noises of foot tapping on the floor. He knocked again and the noise inside disappeared.

“Can I come in?” He asked softly. He tried the door handle and found it, surprisingly, unlocked. “I’m coming in, okay.”

The room was dark. The only source of light was the light from the hallway pouring into the room and the window, where half of the curtain was pulled back. It made the room glow with ambiance. A comforting darkness. The room was mostly neat. A stack of clothing sat on the desk chair next to the door. On one side of the room was a plain medium-sized wardrobe. The bed, however, was a mess.

Damien was sitting by the window, looking outside, his back to the door. He didn’t actually mind Remy’s presence, but he didn’t want Remy there either. He ignored Remy as the younger sat next to him, keeping a fair distance between them. For a long few moments they stayed like that in silence in the darkened room.

“Feeling better yet?” Remy asked cautiously. He was met with silence. He twisted his sitting position so that he sat facing Damien with his legs crossed in front of him. “Do you want me to go?”

Seeing the faint sunlight hit Damien’s face, Remy noticed the purplish half-moon under Damien’s eyes. Did he sleep last night? Did he sleep the day before? It was as though his entire being was exhausted. Even his messy hair fell over his face in a tangled mess, as if too lazy to keep itself upright.

“Did you eat?” Remy took the silence as an answer. “Is that a no?”

Not saying another word, Remy got up from the floor and walked across the room to the door. Damien was still looking outside through the window as he closed the door slowly. Both the twins were a mess—Damien more so than Patton—and he knew he needed something to soothe their soul temporarily. He walked past Logan and Patton, who were still sitting on the sofa, straight to the kitchen.

The kitchen was small, but not cramped. He found the heavy kitchen appliances stored in the cupboard under the sink. Opening the fridge, there was a full box of eggs and two jugs of milk on the door along with a few bottles of drinks. There were some tomatoes and bell peppers in the bottom drawer of the fridge and some oranges and strawberries on the rack above the drawer and some cheese, too. _‘Well, this is enough.’_

Taking four eggs and the cheese, he closed the fridge with a light kick and took the teflon pan out. People didn’t know this about him, but he used to help his mom cook a lot when he still lived in Saint Petersburg. His mom didn’t like eating out or ordering food outside, so cooking was a daily thing. He whisked the eggs on a bowl with salt, pepper and some chili flakes he found on the counter and poured it to the hot pan. As the egg started to curd, he drizzled chunks of shredded cheese on top. Within fifteen minutes, there were two plates of creamy omelettes were sitting in the kitchen.

He brought the plates into the living room, putting one on the coffee table. “Patton, you need to eat, okay,” he said gently and disappeared into the hallway again.

After Remy left, the living room was engulfed by silence again. It was starting to drizzle outside, but the sky was still shining blue. The sun didn’t hide its shine behind thick, dark clouds. The soft tap-tapping of the rain hitting the window could be heard from inside, filling the room with a rhythmic beat.

Logan nudged Patton’s shoulder awkwardly. “You should eat.”

Patton blinked slowly and let out a long sigh. He wasn’t sure his stomach could handle any food. The cereal from that morning already gave him enough energy for the day. Looking at the steaming food in front of him made him want to vomit, but the smell tickled his nose with delight. Giving Logan another glance, he saw Logan’s face pinched into a, upset expression—at least he thought it was an upset expression, seeing that his brows were pulled up and his lips pressed into a thin line.

He sighed again and reluctantly placed the warm plate on his lap. He took a small bite. The dish was surprisingly light. What did Remy put in this? After eating half of it, he stopped and pushed the plate away, putting it back onto the coffee table.

“I don’t want it.” His voice mirrored his expressionless face.

“Patton, do you need anything? Anything I ca—”

Patton buried his face on Logan’s shoulder. His whole body was shaking, but the tears didn’t come. Logan pulled him closer by the arm, letting Patton rest his head on his shoulder. He rubbed Patton’s back instinctively, hoping the motion would calm him. Logan continued the motion until Patton’s breathing became steady again after a long moment. Looking down at the weight on his shoulder, he saw that Patton was asleep. _‘Oh no…’_

 

* * *

 

He pushed the door open. Damien was still sitting by the window, his gaze still fixed at the view outside as pellets of raindrops started to wet the window. Remy sat next to Damien again, putting the plate on Damien’s lap. “You need to eat, _milaya._ I don’t want you to get sick.”

Damien stared at the golden heap on his lap. He finally acknowledge Remy for the first time, looking to his side where Remy sat. Remy was looking at him with a concerned gaze. The warm weight on his lap called his attention again. An omelette.

“You know,” Damien said in a whisper, “mom is a great cook. She can cook whatever dish it is you asked. But the one thing she always mess up—the one thing she can’t quite cook right—is an omelette.

“Dad, though, made the best omelettes. He’d make it with milk and butter. It’s like eating cloud… When we were small, dad would make us omelettes and bacon in the morning before school. I always thought it was boring, ‘cus we have the same breakfast everyday, but I’ve never had a better omelette than his.” He took small bites of the food, not saying another word for a long few minutes. His eyes became hot and glassy as silent tears dripped down his face.

“Why didn’t I do more for him?” He said again, voice surprisingly steady.

Remy placed a hand on Damien arm, giving a silent support. Not wanting to say the wrong thing, he opted to stay quiet. He wished he could do something to make his soulmate feel better. Maybe if he knew Damien better it would have been easier. He scooted closer and squeezed Damien’s arm lightly, giving a reminder of his presence. He was, once again, ignored.

Once he was done eating, Damien looked out the window again. The light drizzle from before had grown into a steady rain, but the sky was still bright, as if refusing to hide. Remy took the empty plate from Damien’s lap and walked out the door again, closing it behind him.

As the door fell shut, Damien twisted his body to look at the door. He didn’t understand why Remy even bothered with giving him food. Where did he even get the food anyway? He stood and walked closer to the window, sitting on the windowsill instead of the floor. He never really liked the rain. He very much preferred snow, but with the sky still bright outside he wanted to see if there would be a rainbow. There wasn’t.

 

* * *

 

The steady footsteps of Remy’s shoes came closer from the hallway. He was greeted with an adorable sight. Logan was holding Patton in his arms—who was asleep—with a confused and somewhat amused expression. Normally, Logan resent any form of physical interaction, but with Patton, he didn’t feel annoyed at all.

“Aw, look at you two,” Remy cooed, earning an annoyed glare from Logan. “Are you guys dating yet?”

“No,” Logan answered the rhetorical, teasing question. “We have gone to one date before, but I don’t think either of us is ready for that yet.”

Remy shifted his attention to the half-eaten food on the table and gave a Logan a look. “Why didn’t he eat it?”

“I don’t think he felt well enough to eat the whole thing.”

“You should lay him on the couch, _hun._  You look uncomfortable.” Remy took the plate from the table and walked into the kitchen. He disposed of the leftover food and washed the plates clean, placing it in the overhead cabinet.

Walking back into the living room, he saw Logan, now crouched next to Patton’s sleeping form on the sofa. He had an unreadable expression on his face. Did they make the right decision to come at all? He thought that the next time they visit again, they should bring Roman and Virgil along. Perhaps, by having more people around them would help the twins feel better. But, having more people would probably exhaust them. Remy didn’t want Patton and Damien closing themselves off from other people.

“Logan,” Remy said lowly. “Do you think we should come here more often? I know they don’t like us being here, but they’re clearly not taking care of themselves.”

“I understand your concern Remy, but I think they know how to handle this. They _are_ older than both of us.”

“Yes, but we should help them. It doesn’t matter that they’re older. Don’t you care?”

“Of course I do,” Logan tried again with a gentle tone, as if talking to a child who was throwing a tantrum. “But we also need to respect their privacy. It’s only been four days, Remy. They’re still grieving.”

Logan looked down at Patton, still peacefully asleep. “Though we _might_ need to give them another visit some time next week, only _if_ they refuse to keep in touch with us.”

Remy nodded in understanding. “How was Patton?”

“He was mostly quiet. He did not say a word. All he did was stare at the ceiling blankly.” Logan told Remy. There was a hint of sorrow hidden in his words. “How about Damien?”

“He was really quiet until I brought him the food. I shouldn’t have made them omelettes.”

“Why not?”

“Damien told me it reminded him of his dad.”

The living room was quiet again. They could only hear the sound of light rain hitting the window, making the trees outside wave in a peaceful dance. Remy got up and left the living room again without another word. He stepped closer to Damien’s door. Should he come inside? Damien clearly didn’t want him there. He decided to go inside. Maybe he should have knocked.

Inside, Damien sat on the windowsill with his head leaning on the wall behind him. His eyes were still fixed to the trees and the rain outside. Remy didn’t dare come closer, not wanting to disturb Damien. At the same time, he didn’t want to go outside either. He needed to—he wanted to—he didn’t know what he wanted to do. He just felt like he needed to be there with Damien. He leaned back on the door, watching Damien sit by the window quietly.

He didn’t expect Damien to meet his eyes and tapped the empty space next to him, telling him to sit. They sat quietly by the window, looking outside at nothing.

“How are you feeling?” Remy asked in a hushed tone. When Damien didn’t respond, he huffed a defeated sigh.

“Why aren’t you talking to me? What do you want me to do, Day?” He tried again in a frustrated whisper. “Tell me…”

“Just… be here. Don’t leave.”

“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my wonderful readers! Sorry, this chapter is very very late, but I'll still try to publish another chapter this Sunday, so I can get back to my regular schedule. This has been another addition, hope you liked this chapter. See you in the next one!
> 
> Question: what do you notice from Patton and Damien in the last chapter compared to this chapter?  
> \---  
> Russian stuff:  
> Sestra  
> Сестра  
> [Sister]
> 
> Милая  
> Milaya  
> [pretty; sweet(ie); honey]


	28. One-sided

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan and Remy had a one-sided conversation with their soulmates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was on-schedule for once! A few hours late, but still.

“So… you’re just gonna ignore me forever, _milaya?_ ” Remy was starting to get bored after an hour of silence in Damien’s room. He wasn’t upset that Damien didn’t talk. No. He wanted to make sure that Damien was still responding, no matter how small his reaction might be. It was challenging to get any kind of response from Damien. So far, his attempts came up empty. Damien had only stared out the window.

“Y’better believe I’m gonna make you talk, _hun._ Imma be an annoying ass to you. Imma make you angry or laugh, maybe… I dunno.” Remy said, finally putting on the sunglasses that had been hanging on the collar of his t-shirt. “Or y’know what, Imma just talk to myself like what I'm doing right now.”

Damien finally glanced at Remy with a neutral expression, only moving his eyes while his head stayed planted onto the wall behind him. Remy took it as a slight victory, but he’s not going to stop just yet.

“So, let’s see… Aight, I’ll talk about myself,” Remy thought out loud, keeping an eye contact with his soulmate. “I was born in Russia— _duh_ —in Saint Petersburg. It was pretty boring, I guess. Not much happened back then. Dad didn’t really have much, so we never do anything too exciting. The first time I went to Moscow was when I was ten—I mean, I was only there for, like, four hours, but still. Didn’t speak English until Virgil taught me when he came over.

“The other time I went out of Saint Petersburg was when my parents took me for a short vacation to Kiev. Wasn’t much, really.” He paused, looking for a reaction from Damien. His soulmate was still looking at him, apparently listening. “Oh, I saw a _real_ cute boy there, too. I don’t remember his name. I think… ah, it’s Viktor. Mainstream name, I know, _girl._ He was older, like two years older than me. Your age, then.”

He heard a small huff of amusement from Damien. Good, some _more_ reaction. Remy kept going.

“I mean, you’re cute too, _milaya._ ” Remy said casually, trying desperately to get more reaction. Once again, he failed. “Anyways, yeah. School was super easy. After first year of high-school, the school told me to skip a grade, so I did. Who _wants_ an extra year of school, amirite?

“At home, I usually help mom cook. She hates eating out. Then, when I was about thirteen or something, I found a random journal in my parents’ bedroom. It was full of these pretty drawings and pencil portraits. It was my grandpa’s! Like, who would’ve thought, y’know. Like, a grumpy old guy could do that with just a pencil. From then, I liked drawing. It was really crappy at first, but after a few years I got better. Now, I prefer painting than drawing, but it’s still nice to do random sketches.”

Remy thought about the sketchbook he always have with him in his messenger bag. The sketchbook was like a journal to him. When Virgil preferred to color his world with words, Remy chose to tell his stories through his drawings and paintings. With words, you have to think about grammar and you have to think about making the words make sense instead of just a jumble of colorful words. But with art, you could never be wrong. There’s no such thing as a wrong brushstroke or a wrong medium or a wrong style. With art, you don’t have to think too much.

“I don’t get stressed a lot, but when I do I usually do some sketch in my sketchbook. Or, if I’m not outside somewhere, I’d make small painting in there, too. It’s just so relaxing to me. It could be as dark as I want or make it as humorous as I want  _somehow._ It’s just so fun. I could also just make art that’s pretty, without meaning. I can do _anything._

“Or—or _sometimes_ when my head is just really hot… I’d read your note to me instead of drawing or painting. When I read it, it’s like you’re there, freaking out in front of me. Like, it’s just a funny visual.” He paused. Should he have said that? He looked at Damien who was still looking at him with his intense mismatched eyes. His golden brown eye looked almost glowing under the faint sunlight.

To be truthful, Damien didn’t expect this. He didn’t expect Remy to start telling him about his childhood or his interest or anything at all. Remy _did_ say that he was going to talk about himself, but he wasn’t sure if Remy was being serious. He saw Remy started getting a little more excited when he talked about his interests in art. Remy’s enthusiasm made him want to see some of Remy’s artworks. He remembered the painting of a bird he saw during his _hour._ He wished he could have paid it more attention.

And the note. Remy remembered his note. His weird note that was basically him freaking out about being in another country, in another continent. The note that he wrote without much thought, because he couldn’t think. His eyes soften a little. Remy looked cute when he’s excited about something, because he won’t stop waving his hands and his face twisted into funny expressions from behind his sunglasses.

“Well, there’s loads more that I can think of right now, but I don’t think you’d wanna hear all that, _milaya._ So, did ya like that omelette? I made it.”

Damien answered with only a blink.

 

* * *

 

Logan leaned back onto the sofa from his seat on the floor. Patton was still asleep. He, too, fell asleep for about ten minutes before he woke up. The floor was not a comfortable place to sleep on. He closed his eyes again, listening to the steady rain still falling outside. It was almost five o’clock in the evening. The sun was starting to set, so it wasn’t dark yet.

He looked at Patton’s peaceful face, asleep. The wild waves of his hair fell over half of his face, shielding it from view and one hand was tucked under his head for support. Logan sighed for the hundredth time that evening. What was he doing there, in his soulmate’s apartment? He wasn’t even doing anything useful.

“I wish I could make you feel better,” Logan whispered to the sleeping figure before him. He leaned on the sofa again, taking his eyes off Patton to explore the living room instead. “I wish I know what to do, but I don’t. I don’t understand feelings well and I don’t know how to deal with them. If I knew what you want me to do, I would do it, but you wouldn’t even speak to me.”

What _could_ he do? He understood that Patton was upset and he knew that Damien was, too. At least, Damien had Remy. Logan thought Patton had a poor luck with having him as a potential partner. He was useless with emotions and all things related to them. He wasn’t good with handling his own feelings, let alone other people’s. He hated feeling useless.

“I wish you would open up _just_ a little. That way, I might have been able to deduce what you need and what you want. That way, I could help you fix all this. Of course, you cannot possibly fix… death… but at the very least I could _perhaps_ help you through your grief.” He paused, as though thinking about something. “God knows I wouldn’t dare say all of this if you were awake.”

Logan peered behind him again. “Maybe, I could bring Roman the next time I come, so you’d have someone who could understand all that you are feeling.” He looked out the window, seeing the raindrops glide down the glass.

“What am I feeling towards you? I don’t understand. You were always so happy all the time, I don’t understand _how_ a person could be so upbeat. You were always so emotional that it… intimidated me. But earlier, I didn’t think seeing you without a smile, without a word out of your mouth would make something in me twist. I don’t understand any of this, Patton. I wish you were awake to help me figure this out.

“Remy was so insistent on coming that I had to agree to his plan on visiting you. I don’t know him too well, so I don’t understand _that_ either. Maybe he was right to have me come here. You know, you should take care of yourself more, Patton. A proper rest is important. So are sustenance. I know it’s difficult with everything that’s happened to you and your brother and I won’t say I understand. I’ll try as best I could to help you through this, Patton.”

Logan didn’t know why he was saying all of this when he knew Patton wouldn’t hear his words. And even if he did, Logan still wouldn’t be able to solve everything. He knew that he was giving a “speech” to an empty room, but he didn’t really care. When his brain fails him, Logan would verbalize his thoughts, no matter how messy or incoherent it might be. For him, anything was better than silence when it comes to thinking.

Logan reached over to take one of Patton’s cold hands, warming it up between his hands.

 

* * *

 

The room was silent again. Remy stopped speaking while Damien never let out a noise at all.

“Day, you told me to be here; Told me not to leave.” Remy finally said, tired of the silence. “I—I know that—that you’re still upset about what happened.” Damien’s face twisted into a frown and his eyes was back to the view outside. It had finally started to get darker. The muted hue of red in the distance didn’t look as magnificent as it usually does as clouds finally start to thicken and cover the sky, making the it look a gloomy grey.

“I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to force you to speak. It’s just… Okay, _milaya,_ I understand that we barely know each other, but I want you to talk to me. I’m your friend, am I not? I’m—believe it or not—I want to help you. I don’t understand your grief, I’m not going to pretend like I do, but I _want_ to understand. And yes, that _does_ sound really, really cliche, but it’s true.”

Remy didn’t know what he was doing when he took Damien’s hand in his. He avoided eye-contact, not wanting any awkwardness to settle between them. It wasn’t fair, he thought, that Logan could hug Patton and he couldn’t hug Damien. He tightened his hold on Damien’s hand when he didn’t feel any resistance. When he dared look up, he found Damien looking at him with teary eyes. Did he do something wrong? Did he say something that upset Damien?

Damien gripped Remy’s hand back tightly before letting go. He stood up and walked to the bed, burying himself in his blanket. He bit his lip, trying to keep the tears away. He couldn’t be seen crying in front of Remy. He couldn’t stop, though. Tears slipped through his closed eyelids. There were no sobs, thankfully. Was Remy gone? Did he left? Good.

Remy didn’t know what to do when Damien decided to hide himself. He could only watch in alarm. _‘Did I upset him?’_ He walked over to the bed, looking at the lump of blanket helplessly. He wanted Damien to feel better, but of course, that can only come with time. He sat on the bed and placed a hand on the lump where he guessed Damien’s shoulder would be. Damien was shaking slightly under his hand.

When he felt a warm weight on his arm, Damien felt like he needed to sit up and do something. Just _something._ Nothing specific. He needed to do something to clear his mind, but he didn’t know what, so he stayed curled in his bed.

“Day… What’s wrong?” Remy’s soft voice was heard through the layers of blanket. “Okay, that was a stupid question. Of course, something is wrong. Day, please, I want to help you.”

Damien reluctantly sat up, letting the blanket fall and pool around his waist. His eyes were red from the tears and his hair was even messier than before. Remy wanted so desperately to pull him into a hug. He knew that wouldn't go well, but he could try.

“Can I hug you?” He whispered to Damien, scooting closer.

And just like that, Damien let out a sob. A single sob. His hands immediately flew to his face, covering his mouth to stop crying, but the sobs wouldn’t stop coming. Muffled sobs filled the room as Damien bowed his head in defeat, still clutching his face in a vice grip. He didn’t have the energy to pull away when he felt arms circling his shoulders. He could only lean into the touch, burying his face into Remy’s shoulder. Finally, he let his hands fall onto his lap, allowing the sobs to break free.

Remy held Damien in his arms awkwardly as he listen to his soulmate break.

 

* * *

 

“I don’t know what I’m going to do to help you, Patton, but I promise I will.” Logan said, still clutching Patton’s hand in his. “Perhaps I don’t know what I’m feeling, but you can help me with that, can’t you?”

Logan brought Patton’s hand to his forehead, closing his eyes. “Please, be alright.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovely readers! I know this update is very close to the last one, but that's only because the last one was very late. I'm sorry this one is very angsty. I promise the next one wouldn't be. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this short chapter and see you in the next one!!  
> \---  
> Russian shtuff:  
> Милая  
> Milaya  
> [pretty; sweet(ie); honey]


	29. Boredom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman and Virgil were forced to talk to each other, because everyone else were ignoring them.

“Logan, are you sure this is good?” Roman said to his best friend nervously. “This is due in less than ninety six hours! Can you at least look over it? Please?”

His original play project was due in three days. Roman was positive that it was going to be awesome and that it would blow countless minds. However, a part of him was still concerned about his work. Is the character too clingy or too independent? Were there plot holes that he didn’t notice? Is the story too predictable? There were so many questions that kept popping up in his mind. And, Logan was certainly not helping.

That morning, Logan didn’t answer his phone, which was unusual. So, Roman decided to pay his best friend a short visit, bringing his project with him. Since he arrived two hours ago, Logan had not given any input on his project. Roman could see that Logan’s mind was occupied with other things and he understood, but he also need Logan’s attention and his inputs. It was getting increasingly difficult to speak to Logan.

“Roman, do you want to come with me the next time I go to Patton’s place?” Logan asked, his gaze serious.

“I don’t mind… Logan, seriously, look at this and _help me fix it!_ ”

“I’m sure it’s fine, Roman.” Logan stood and walked to the kitchen. Roman silently followed. “Besides, I have no interest or expertise in theater and such, so don’t ask me.”

Roman groaned in mild frustration. Was it hard for Logan to just read through his play? It wasn’t as if Logan didn’t like reading fiction. In fact, Logan had an entire stash of fiction books, starting from science-fiction to fantasy-action, surprisingly enough. Roman walked back to the living room, leaving Logan in the kitchen and dropped himself onto Logan’s couch. Who else could he ask for input? Patton or Damien is out of the question, Remy _might_ be in the same state as Logan, so it only leaves… _Virgil._ Roman groaned again.

It wasn’t as if Roman didn’t have any other friends outside his current friend group. He just wasn’t comfortable with them. He loved being a popular person and having all the attention he could get. However, that also meant that there were people who were not genuine, only wanting to be friends with him for their own gains. He could never trust too many people, which was difficult since Roman was a very outgoing person. Sometimes, he wished he didn’t stick out so much.

 

**To: Remy**

**From: Me**

**[10:22]**

Remy I need your help!!! Right now.

If you can, that is.

 

**To: Me**

**From: Remy**

**[10:22]**

_Hey girl, help with what?_

 

**To: Remy**

**From: Me**

**[10:23]**

With my original play project!

Remember that optional play project from a few months ago? I need some inputs on mine, cus it’s due in three days.

 

**To: Me**

**From: Remy**

**[10:24]**

_Oh, honey, I’m not good at those writing stuff._

_Usually, I wud just think a story is good w/o thinking too much of it. Like, I don’t think of like plot holes n stuff. Cos I literally dgaf about those._

_Maybe you should ask Virgil about it. He’s good with stories and stuff._

 

Roman was starting to think that he shouldn’t get any feedback at all before he submitted his project. Last week, Virgil and him had agreed on exchanging email addresses so that Virgil could share his short story and he could send his project to Virgil. That hadn’t happened. He did, however, got Virgil’s number. The younger had been a little hesitant on giving Roman his number, but he finally did.

Now, Roman was pondering whether or not he should text Virgil. He desperately needed some outside opinion, but if he was going to get that from Virgil, it might be even _more_ difficult. He let out a long sigh. Alright, he will sacrifice anything for his project. If his play was selected to be performed, it might be his big opportunity to make his name. Plus, from seeing a snippet of Virgil’s story, he knew that Virgil was a good—if not, great—writer.

 

**To: Emo Nightmare**

**From: Me**

**[10:36]**

Hey there, Dark and Dreary. I need your help.

 

* * *

 

Virgil was lying on his bed when he heard his text tone went off. It wasn’t often that he got a text. It was probably Remy. He took his phone from his bedside table. Usually, he didn’t bother seeing who texted him, since he didn't have anyone that texted him other than his cousin. However, this particular text stuck out.

 _‘Roman?’_ His mind was starting to blare with alarm. _‘The fuck does he want?’_

 

**To: Prince Underarm Stink**

**From: Me**

**[10:37]**

What?

 

**To: Me**

**From: Prince Underarm Stink**

**[10:38]**

_Can you meet me at the cafe? Roast & Grind _

 

**To: Prince Underarm Stink**

**From: Me**

**[10:38]**

If I say no?

 

**To: Me**

**From: Prince Underarm Stink**

**[10:39]**

_PLEASE!!!_

 

**To: Prince Underarm Stink**

**From: Me**

**[10:40]**

Fine

 

Virgil was unsure. _‘What the hell is happening? What if he isn’t there later and this is all just a sick joke? Does he hate me_ that _much to actually do that? Probably…’_ As thoughts kept spilling out of his head, he grabbed his wallet and pocketed his phone. He knocked on Remy’s door, telling his cousin that he’ll be out for a few hours and went to the door. He was still thinking about his decision to go when the door fell shut behind him.

The cafe— _Roast & Grind_—was not too far from his apartment, so he didn’t bother taking a bus. He exited the apartment building with earbuds plugged into his ears, drowning out the sound of the city. Virgil had always liked observing people doing their things; waiting for the bus, buying coffee or even walking their dogs. He could learn about these people from the little quirks they do. He could learn about them from the way they carry themselves—straight posture with their shoulders pulled back or perhaps a certain bounce in their step—or he could just observe the small things that these people do—a baker giving a free pastry to children or a street-performer doing a magic trick for a little puppy. These things helps him a lot with creating authentic characters in the stories he wrote.

As his feet took him to the cafe, his mind did what it was so used to doing: narrate people’s lives internally—someday, he’ll have the courage to do it right to people’s faces. His mind would go wild, coming up with little stories for people he barely knew about out in the streets. To him, his little stories color his world _just_ a little brighter and it never fails to bring a smile to his face—except for now. Right now, he couldn’t think of anything other than what stunt Roman was going to pull on him.

_‘Is he going to hurt me? Maybe I should have brought my pocket knife. Maybe he’s going to finally kill me and accomplish his goal of not having a soulmate…’_

After another couple of minutes, he was finally standing in front of the coffee shop. He tried to see through the dark glass walls of the cafe to see if Roman was already there. He spot the dramatic man seating at the seat near the front of the cafe, sipping his drink calmly. The only time he ever saw Roman looked this calm was when they were abandoned by the rest of the group, so they were the only two people left in the pizza parlor. The hang-out session they had didn’t start smoothly, but Virgil thought it wasn’t too bad.

He walked into the cafe with a wave of nervousness nipping at his heels, following his every step. He tried to avoid eye-contact, trying to take as long as he could to walk over to Roman’s table.

“So, what’s happening, Princey?” Virgil said when he got to the table. “Hope you’re not here to kill me.”

Roman looked up in surprise, gesturing at the seat opposite him for Virgil to sit. The emo boy hesitated for a split second before finally lowering himself to sit. What was Roman playing at? Was this some sort of serious business? If so, why was he part of it?

“I need your help,” Roman said, reaching into his bag to take his laptop. “Can you, perhaps, give me some feedback on my project?”

“You made me come here for your _stupid_ project?” Virgil asked in disbelief. He could’ve just stayed in bed and not do anything.

“Hey! If I succeed in making this work, this might be a breakthrough for me!” Roman defended himself. “It’s not stupid.”

“Sure it is.” Virgil smirked. He was starting to like making Roman go all crazy. The dramatic nonsense that Roman would spew out were rather entertaining. “Also, I could’ve done this through the phone instead of coming here.”

“It’s easier like this, you know.” Roman shoved his laptop to Virgil’s face, waiting for the younger to read his work. Roman was proud of his creation, but he was never too fond of critics, because it always made him feel like he was incapable and not good enough. Fortunately, he was aware of the importance of those critics, so he always swallowed all his discomfort when people gave him critics—especially the harsh ones.

“This sounds oddly familiar, Princey…” Virgil mumbled, though loud enough for Roman to hear.

“It’s a Rapunzel retelling,” Roman explained, not saying much so as to not disturb the other while reading. Virgil nodded in acknowledgement.

Roman took his phone out and tried to ignore Virgil who was still reading his work. He was very aware of how Virgil’s expression shift from time to time. Was that a bad sign or a good sign? At times, Virgil would take a glance at him and return to reading as if realizing something. Roman couldn’t help but feel very small and shy—which, to say, was very unusual. He went back to his phone, trying to distract himself from worrying too much.

Fifteen minutes later, Virgil was still reading the script. His expression had become unreadable. Roman wanted so badly to bang the table and shout. He tapped his feet on the wooden floor, burning off the nervous energy that bloomed in him.

“Are you done yet?” Roman asked impatiently.

“Almost…”

“Is it good?”

Virgil finally looked up and closed the laptop. “Wow, that was _something,_ ” He said with a tone of finality. He wasn’t blind to not notice Roman’s nervousness. He thought it’d be funny if he messed with Roman for a little bit.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Roman was starting to get more nervous. Virgil’s ever-so-sarcastic tone was making him confused. What does ‘something’ even mean?

“Okay, okay,” Virgil finally said. He wanted to get over this anyway. “I think it’s pretty good. The concept of the story is actually really interesting, I like it. Also, I really like that boy that helped the protagonist—what’s his name again… oh, Fernand—yeah, he’s a very complex character. You should probably make his motivations more clear, but other than that, it’s all good.” He paused, thinking for a brief second before speaking again. “The dialogues are alright. You should probably add more on the story from the witch’s point of view, like from her holding cell in the castle and what happened to her and stuff. Just a thought.”

Roman didn’t expect Virgil to give him a serious feedback. He thought he was going to be critiqued so harshly that he’d have to fix everything, but Virgil had been… considerate? Roman didn’t know the right word to explain it. He took his laptop back with a relieved sigh.

“Thanks,” Roman murmured. Virgil shrugged in reply, not saying anything else. “Are you just gonna go home now?”

“Probably… unless you have other plans? I mean, Remy’s been ignoring me all day yesterday and today. He kept mumbling about Patton and Damien. It kinda made me want to visit the twins, too. So yeah, now I’m bored back at my place ‘cus I don’t have anything to do and… I don’t know why I’m telling you all this.” Virgil scratched his neck as an uncomfortable heat climbed up his back. He need to keep his mouth in check sometimes.

“Yeah, well, you’re not the only one. Logan is the same. Honestly, I’m also concerned for those two. I don’t know them well, though. Especially Damien.” Roman looked down at his folded hands on his lap. “Logan asked me to come with him the next time he visits the twins. Should I even come? Logan is absolutely useless with emotions, so he might need help with that.”

“So, I guess we’re both alone at the moment?” Virgil asked, more to himself than to Roman. “Though I imagine you have so many other friends. Heck, I’m not even your friend.”

“It’s not easy you know… I know lots of people, but I can never tell who were genuine and who were fake. I can’t tell, so I can’t really have a close relationship with anyone. Logan’s my only friend now.”

Roman looked over to the slim figure sitting in front of him. Virgil was looking at him intensely, but something about it made his mind calm down. He looked away, not wanting to think about what’s happening. He thought it was funny that he was only able to talk to Virgil without breaking into a fight under a very unfortunate circumstance. This was another proof that soulmates are _dangerous_ to people and that it would only bring despair and heartbreak. Roman didn’t need a soulmate.

Yet, some other part of him made him think of Virgil in a different light. Virgil may not have been as bad as he originally thought. Also, he looked cute when he’s in a peaceful state. His jawlines looked more defined when he looked to the side, just like what he was doing when he stared out the window. The serious look that was always present on Virgil’s face was different than the all-business serious look that Logan had. Virgil looked somewhat softer with his violet hair falling down to his face, hiding his sharp, silver eyes.

Roman snapped out of his thought. What was he thinking?

“If I may ask,” Virgil broke the silence that hung over them, “what happened to your dad?” He remembered Roman mentioning something about his dad the last time they hung-out.

Roman stiffened at the question and he sucked a quick breath. He didn’t really like talking about his dad. “I’d rather not talk about it now,” He said, folding his arms onto his chest.

“Okay.” Virgil felt a twinge of guilt for breaching a sensitive subject. “Hey, you wanna get out of here? I’m starting to get bored of this place.”

“Oh man, yea, let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all wonderful people! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm not really sure about this chapter. I do hope you like the prinxiety in this chapter. It's not romantic (yet), but I promise we'll get there eventually.
> 
> See you in the next one!
> 
> ~AJ


	30. Thoughts of Lilies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remy felt a little mellow. He decided to visit the twins again, this time without Logan.  
> Roman and Virgil were bored after being ignored by everyone around them, so they decided to hang out—again. What could possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put a link to a song in the middle of this chapter and I BEG YOU TO OPEN IT AS SOON AS YOU FIND IT AND LISTEN TO IT AS YOU READ!!! It adds to the emotion of the chapter.
> 
> Enjoy!

The gentle stroke of a brush had always had a calming effect on him. The brush glided smoothly on the page, making the pale, off-white paper come alive with colors. Usually, he never knew what he was going to paint or draw. He would open his journal and let himself sink. He was one with the brush and he was one with the colors. His heart will let his hand go to work, projecting everything that was hidden inside to spill on the paper.

Virgil had left the apartment an hour ago. His cousin didn’t tell him where he was going, but he was too bothered with the jumble of thoughts in his head to even care. Having a million thoughts swarming in his head all at once wasn’t a common occurrence, but Remy learned how to handle it. Back in Russia, he would talk to his friends about what he was thinking. He would talk to his mom sometimes. And when he met _him_ in junior year of high school, he talked to _him,_ too. Though _he_ was never too interested. All _he_ ever did was throw insults and… Now, he’s alone in the apartment with no one to share his thoughts with.

He let out a long sigh. The brush was still firm in his grip, caressing the thick paper of the journal. The warm colors of oranges and red, as well as the subtle highlight of beige and white decorated the plain background, forming a beautiful and lively sunset. He added strokes of black, forming the silhouette of a hand holding a flower. He added yet another color, this time purple and indigo, shading the hand against the red of the sunset.

A lily flower. That’s what the hand was holding. A single lily flower. Remy owned a book about flowers back in Russia. He liked reading about the flowers and looking at the pretty little drawings of the colorful plants. He’d read about all the different meanings and uses a flower could have. How wonderful, he had once thought, that something as small as a flower could make some people alight with joy by just looking at them. Lilies, he remembered, are a symbol of humility and devotion. He didn’t know why he painted the sunset, the hand and the lily.

Once done with the painting, he put a weight on the corners of the journal so that it doesn’t close in on itself and left it to dry. It shouldn’t take too long. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to do now that his painting was done. He leaned back on his seat on the desk chair in his room. The desk was positioned under the window, so he could always look outside if he wanted to. So, that’s what he did. The sky was bright and blue. Thin wisps of clouds hung on the giant carpet of the sky. He couldn’t hear the buzz of the city below him from behind the closed window.

He let his mind drift until it found a thought to latch on. The last time he saw the twins, they were a mess. He didn’t know what happened with Patton other than the fact that he slept. Damien looked like he was dealing at first. Remy should have known that he was not alright even though he looked like he was. He should never have mistake composure for ease. When Damien’s strongly guarded image of composure broke, it made something in Remy snap uncomfortably. He remembered when Lily, Damien’s mother, spoke about him hiding his feelings. He should have paid more attention.

_‘Maybe I should visit the twins again.’_

 

* * *

 

“Where are we going?”

When Virgil suggested they go somewhere else, Roman was surprised at himself when he actually felt excited. He had in mind a few places that they could go to. He originally wanted to go around the city with Logan, but that best friend of his had other things in his mind at the moment. Virgil, oddly enough, didn’t seem to be uncomfortable like he had been the last time they hung out together. After Roman was done with his drink, they left the coffee shop.

“We’re going to the campus theater!” Roman said with enthusiasm, throwing one hand into the air. “The theater club is usually held on Wednesdays and Fridays. And since today’s a Saturday, it’ll be empty.”

“Eh, boy.” Virgil rolled his eyes. “You’re such a nerd, Princey. Why are we even going there if it’s gonna be empty?”

“Because,” Roman spared a brief glance at the shorter boy, “it’s more fun if it’s empty. I get to do whatever I want without being judged.”

Virgil rolled his eyes once more and chose to stay quiet. The walk wasn’t too long since the campus was only two blocks away from the coffee shop. Roman led them through the arts department and into the theater building. As promised, it was empty. The whole building felt more spacious with no one in it. The sound of their shoes tapping on the old wooden floor echoed loudly in the room. It was dark, except for the low light that gave the stage a cool and comforting ambiance.

Roman stepped onto the stage with a wide smile on his face. When he noticed Virgil didn’t follow him up the stage, he looked below the stage where the emo was looking at him with a hint of annoyance and amusement.

“Come up here, Doctor Gloom!” Roman said loudly, the bravado of his voice amplified by the echo in the room. Virgil only shook his head in refusal. Roman groaned in annoyance. He went down the stage and dragged Virgil onto the stage with him by the sleeve of his hoodie.

“Hey, Princey, let me go!” Virgil growled, sending a glare at Roman that went unnoticed by the art student. He tried to wrestle out of Roman’s grip, but his thin frame was no match for Roman’s strength. At the end, Virgil chose to go with it, not knowing what Roman was actually trying to do. Once they were on the stage, Roman let go of Virgil’s arm and bounced excitedly. Virgil thought Roman was like a gigantic child.

“You know, I’ve always dreamed of becoming a famous actor,” Roman said, looking at the distance dramatically. “Sanders University has a theater production every year. I’ve been in one of them last year as a side character.”

Virgil listened to Roman awkwardly. Why was Roman suddenly telling him all of this? He didn’t care and he didn’t need to know. Why were they even _on_ the stage? Maybe Roman just _had_ to be dramatic at any chance he gets. Hearing Roman talk about his dream made him think about his own. In a way, their ambitions were similar—they were both storytellers, except they used different mediums. The thought sat uncomfortably in Virgil’s mind. Maybe they weren’t as different as he thought.

Roman glanced behind him, spotting a a grand piano sitting on a wheeled platform at the edge of the stage with half of its body covered by an old velvet sheet. He pulled the piano on its wheels until it was positioned under the dim spotlight. He pulled the velvet drape off, revealing the majestic color of its white body. Looking closer, he saw the intricate golden accents that danced across the white.

“Do you play any instruments?” Roman asked Virgil who was now looking at the piano.

“I used to play the guitar. Not anymore.”

Roman walked over to the other side of the piano, sitting on the cushion and tracing his fingers over the toots. He inhaled a deep breath and gently pressed the piano, filling the room with a [peaceful melody](https://youtu.be/wib3nJOsb3Q). His body relaxed at an instant and his eyes fell shut. His fingers moved with grace, flowing along with the notes and the melody. He imagined a string orchestra playing around him, accompanying the gentle melody. His whole body started to come alive with the music coursing through him and a small, content smile bloomed on his lips.

Virgil watched Roman play with an awed expression. He instinctively moved closer to the piano, placing his hand on it. He could feel the subtle vibrations of every note that Roman struck. He looked at Roman again. He looked so peaceful with his eyes closed and body swaying to the music. His brows would crease with passion at times and relax again. He took a step closer yet again and stopped himself when he realized what he was doing. Roman looked completely different when he was at ease like this. Gone was the dramatic act that Virgil was used to seeing from Roman, replaced with a gentle passion that—surprisingly—brought him comfort and a sense of peace.

Roman became more alive with the song as the melody goes on. His imaginations run wild with the song. It felt like he was running in a field of flowers, his hand brushing on the tall plants and leaves. Lilies. That’s what he imagined. A field full of lilies. Calla lilies stood tall in the field and tiger lilies made the whole place seem more vibrant with its warm orange hues. Stargazer lilies were scattered across the field—a subtle beauty with its pinks and yellows. And white lilies highlighted the field with its brilliant shade. As the song went on, Roman became even more lost in his imagination. His fingers finally found the last chord of the song. The melody faded away slowly, leaving the room with silence, though the tranquility lingered.

He slowly opened his eye, looking down at the piano in front of him in silence. Looking up, he found a pair of silver eyes met his own emerald ones. They stayed for a second before Virgil averted his gaze.

“That was… nice,” Virgil said quietly.

Roman’s chest bloomed with pride.

 

* * *

 

There was a knock on the door. He groaned, not wanting to see another human being today. He decided to ignore it and walked into his room, burying himself in the comfort of his blanket. There was another knock, the sound muffled by his bedroom door. He shifted in his bed, facing away from the door. He’ll let Patton get the door. After all, his brother was the one who’s good with being friendly.

Outside the bedroom, Patton approached the door lazily, feeling a little disgusted by himself after not having any shower for four days. He opened the door just enough for him to stick out his head into the hallway. He swept his hair back from his eyes to see who the visitor was.

“Oh, hey Remy.” He opened the door a little wider, letting Remy in.

“Hi, Day,” Remy greeted awkwardly, pushing his sunglasses up to rest on his head.

“It’s Patton, actually. I don’t have my glasses,” Patton said after he closed the door.

“Oh, sorry…”

“It’s fine.” Patton, like last time, led Remy into the living room. “You’re looking for Dee, right? He’s in his room.”

“Okay. Can I talk to you first for a few minutes?”

“Why?”

“I just want to talk to you, _darling._ No reason at all.”

Patton nodded and told Remy to sit on the couch. He excused himself to go to the kitchen and made two mugs of hot chocolate. Remy waited patiently in the living room. Today the apartment looked a little messier than last time. There were a few candy wrappers on the floor and the table had some stain on it—coffee perhaps? The thick curtains over the window were drawn, leaving only the gossamer material underneath to stay, bathing the whole room with a warm light. The dining table near the kitchen was empty and clean—looks like they haven’t eaten _again._ There were two books on the other end of the couch, but Remy didn’t bother taking a look at them.

Ten minutes later, Patton came back with the mugs of hot chocolate.

“So,” he started, “what’s up?”

“How you feeling, _sweetie?_ ” Remy asked, seemingly skeptical of the smile that Patton was wearing. For a second, Patton’s smile wavered.

“I’m feeling… surprisingly okay today. I still wish mom would let us talk to her, though.”

Remy nodded in understanding. His eyes shone with sympathy. He remembered when he was fifteen, his grandfather died of cancer. He didn’t cry at the time even though he was sad. He knew his grandfather will always live in him as long as he remembered him and the stories he told. His dad, however, shut himself out from the rest of the family for three weeks. Patton and Damien are facing the same thing now with their mother. It must have been difficult for them. At least they still had each other.

“She’ll come around, _honey._ Don’t push her. This must be difficult on her, too.”

“Of course it is,” Patton answered, his eyes scanning the room randomly. “They loved each other so much. Dad would always talk about her like she was an angel and mom would talk about him like he was her whole world. And, I think he really was.

“I can’t imagine having your soulmate taken away from you. I remember her being so angry back at the hospital.” Patton paused for a second, holding back the tears that threatened to spill. “I’m kind of scared. Someday, that might happen to me. It could happen to you, too. It could happen to anyone.” He glanced up at Remy who was looking at him with eyes full of understanding.

“Do you think you can help her?” Remy asked thoughtfully. “When I lost my grandpa four years ago, my dad closed himself off for three weeks. He finally came out of “hiding” when I brought a photo album of his childhood for him to see. It _did_ make him even more sad, but the next day he was better. Do you think you could help your mom like that?”

“Maybe… I don’t know what, though,” Patton said, combing his messy waves away from his face only for it to spill over his face again. “Can you… can you leave me alone for a moment? I need to… I don’t mean to—”

“It’s fine, _doll._ I’ll go check on your mess of a brother,” Remy reassured him with a wink. He got up from the couch and walked into the short hallway.

 

* * *

 

“Thank you,” Roman said as a smile slowly wormed its way to his face. He got up from his seat to move closer to Virgil who was still looking at him with a look of… awe? Virgil was looking at him like he was an alien—odd and unfamiliar. He felt self-conscious all of a sudden. Virgil’s gaze made him feel exposed, like he was being judged. He did not like it one bit.

“What are you looking at?” Roman asked, snapping Virgil out of his trance.

“Oh, sorry—I just—I didn’t expect you to, like, be able to play the piano like that,” Virgil cursed himself for hesitating. Now he’s going to make Roman feel bad. A second later, he wondered why he cared at all. “What song was that?” He asked, wanting the awkwardness to melt away.

“It’s _Bluebird_ by Alexis Ffrench,” Roman said, looking back down at the piano with a shy smile. “I like the song… it makes me feel really peaceful.”

To his own surprise, Virgil found himself smiling, too. He never thought that an arrogant, prince-like person like Roman could be so gentle like this. Something in the back of his mind told him that Roman looked really cute when he smiles genuinely instead of the annoyingly-charming smile that he usually wears.

“So, are we going to stay here forever or… where are we going next?” Virgil asked, scanning the empty hall in a new light. He never thought he’d like this place. “If you don’t have anything planned, I’m going home and I’m gonna sleep.”

“Sleep? It’s only midday…”

“Your point is…?”

“Okay, fine, let’s go backstage. I’ll show you the place where the magic begins!” And, the ever-so-dramatic Roman is back. Virgil huffed a short sigh and followed Roman backstage.

 

* * *

 

Damien could hear quiet murmurs of a conversation from outside, but he couldn’t make out who it might be. He almost wished that it was his mom who might have come to visit them, but he knew that’s very unlikely. He was curious as to who the visitor might be, but at the same time he didn’t want to meet people. The last time he met someone other than his brother, he ended up making a fool of himself. He remembered a few days ago when he accidentally broke down in front of Remy. That wasn’t supposed to happen.

When he broke, Remy was there to hold him—although it was a little bit awkward with the distance between them. He had spilled everything that he felt in a jumble of incoherent words through his sobs and Remy was there to listen to him. Remy had made him tea afterwards, for which he was grateful. He didn’t understand why Remy would care at all. It wasn’t as if they knew each other well. Damien thought maybe that’s what friends do for each other. He wouldn’t know. He never had friends after all.

He noticed the voices outside had gone quiet. Did the visitor left already? It wasn’t even half an hour yet. When he heard footsteps coming closer to his room, he groaned in annoyance. Why can’t people just leave him alone? Then, the footsteps faded. He looked over his back to see a silhouette under his door. The person was standing in front of his room. He rolled back over, facing away from the door and pretended to sleep as the visitor opened the door. Maybe, if they saw he was asleep they’ll leave him alone.

The person stepped closer—at least, Damien assumed they were walking closer, judging by the sound of their shoes tapping on the floor. Then, he felt the person—whoever it was—sat near the bed in front of him. He tried to keep his eyes shut, wanting this person to just go away. That was, until the person spoke.

“Are you really asleep, _milaya?_ ”

Damien opened his eyes slowly to find Remy kneeling by the bed. His arms were folded on the bed with his chin resting on them. _‘Why is he here_ again? _’_ Looking at Remy, he realized he wanted that hug again. Remy reached over to pull one of his hands that was tucked under the pillow and held it with care. His touch was warm and comforting, Damien found himself wanting more.

“How are you?” Remy whispered with a concerned smile. “I talked to your brother just now. I mistook him as you, y’know, _honey._ He didn’t have his glasses on.”

Damien stayed quiet, staring at his hand that Remy held. He pulled his hand back, bringing Remy’s hand along and cuddling it close to his cheek. He didn’t know why he did that. All he knew was that he didn’t want Remy to leave—at least not now, not yet. He nuzzled Remy’s hand again, seeking comfort from the warmth. His own hands were cold.

“Can you answer me? Or do you not want to talk?” Remy asked again, more gentle this time. “ _Nadeyus' i vy v poryadke, moy milly._ ”

Damien creased his eyebrows in confusion. He would never say it out loud, but he liked hearing Remy speak in his native tongue. It sounds nice even though he didn’t know what Remy was saying. And that nickname Remy gave him; “ _milaya._ ” What does that even mean? He took Remy’s hand again, pressing it onto his face. He smiled when he heard Remy let out a laugh, liking the ring of joy that it emanates.

“Did you eat yet? If not, I’m gonna cook for you, okay.”

Damien looked over at Remy, shaking his had to indicate that he had not eaten yet. The last thing he ate was the omelette that Remy gave him a few days ago. Patton had given him cereal every morning, but he could never eat it without feeling like he was about to vomit. He sat up on the bed, patting the space next to him for Remy to sit on. Remy complied, standing up and sat on the bed.

“Why are you here?” Damien asked in a whisper. He wanted to hear Remy talk again like last time.

“Wanted to check up on you and your brother, _milaya,_ ” Remy said, looking down at their intertwined hands. “The last time I went here, both of you weren’t even taking care of yourselves.”

It was true. They had had very little sleep and they barely ate anything. When Patton fell asleep that day, he didn’t wake up until the next day. He’d slept for seventeen hours. Damien had found his brother asleep on the couch and carried him back to his room. That night, Damien decided to sleep in Patton’s room. He didn’t really want to be alone.

“What does _milaya_ mean, again?” Damien asked with genuine curiosity. Remy only answered with a smile. “Seriously, what does it mean?”

“It means…” Remy said, thinking about his answer. “Well, it means a couple things. It could mean sweetie or sweetheart. It could also mean honey—like the pet name honey, not the food.”

“And you’ve been calling me that?”

“I’ll stop if you don’t like it.”

“It’s fine.” Damien shrugged, feeling warmth settle in his chest. Oddly enough, he didn’t feel uncomfortable knowing that Remy had been giving him a sappy pet name. Then again, Remy calls _everyone_ ‘honey’ or ‘darling’ or something of the sort.

He got up from the bed and dragged Remy out of the bedroom by the hand. He let go of Remy’s hand once he saw his brother sitting in the living room with a thoughtful expression. He walked over to Patton, sitting next to him and letting his brother rest his head on his shoulder. He ignored Remy who walked past them and into the kitchen.

 

* * *

 

Remy worked some magic in the kitchen and thirty minutes later, there were two plates of creamy pasta on the kitchen counter. He had found half a bag of pasta in one of the overhead cabinets, two cans of unopened heavy cream—one of which he used—and some other stray ingredients that he put into the dish. He thought maybe he shouldn’t have made a heavy meal, but there was nothing else he could work with.

He brought the plates into the living room where the Harvey brothers were still huddled on the couch. Placing the plates on the table in front of them, Remy told them to eat as much as they could.

Damien brought one plate onto his lap and stared at it for a few seconds before looking up at his brother. He took a forkful and took a bite. Remy really does _wonders_ in the kitchen. The cream melted in his mouth, coating his tongue with wonderful bursts of flavors. He took another forkful and fed it to Patton. The two ended up sharing a plate, leaving the other one untouched.

Remy sat on the other couch, taking his art journal out. It was a sketchbook, but he always thought of it as a journal, because the drawings and paintings inside told stories that only Remy could understand. He opened it to his last painting; the silhouette of a hand and a lily. He flipped over the journal again, finding an empty page. Taking a pencil from his bag, he started sketching on the blank paper. He never knew what he was going to draw or paint. He always let his heart decide. And as the pencil stroke the paper, he wondered what the drawing would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think about Prinxiety and Sleepceit in this chapter?
> 
> This chapter was a little longer than the usual, but I don't really mind. Next week I will have exams, so the update might come late (I hope you don't mind!) I really hope you enjoyed this addition, and see you in the next one!  
> \---  
> Russian stuff:  
> Милая  
> Milaya  
> [pretty; sweet(ie); honey]
> 
> Надеюсь и вы в порядке, мой милый.  
> Nadeyus' i vy v poryadke, moy milly.  
> [I hope you are okay, my dear.]


	31. Development

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman had thoughts about Virgil again.  
> Logan gave Patton another proposal.

Roman walked to class with a heavy feeling in his chest. His stomach stirred and a faint uncomfortable heat coursed through his body. His steps were short and swift as he clutched his laptop in one arm with a cup of coffee in the other hand. He doesn’t usually drink coffee, but seeing that he couldn’t sleep all last night, a dose of caffeine will be needed in order for him to survive the day. As he stepped into the vast auditorium, he silently walked to his usual seat next to Remy, though the Russian fellow came later than usual. Perhaps Roman was the one who’s early for once.

Putting the laptop on his desk, he ran his hand through his hair for the thousandth time that morning. His foot was tap-tapping on the floor while his fingers drummed on the table lightly. If Remy was there, he would have flipped Roman off by now. He finally decided to occupy himself with his phone. But even then, the distraction had not worked.

 _“What’s wrong with Roman that morning?”_ one might ask. That morning was the day when the play project was supposed to be turned in. Roman was already done with his since last month, but he couldn’t help but think he should have done more for his project. There were about five hundred students who would be submitting their project that day, so the competition was tight. If his play won, this might be his crucial opportunity to mark his name as a play writer and actor.

He had asked his professor for feedback two weeks ago, but he was told that he wasn’t allowed to ask help from professors and teachers. That was why he came to Logan—which turned out to be no help at all. Virgil had been a tremendous help. Unfortunately, Virgil’s feedback came the last minute—only three days prior to the due date—so he had to do some tweaking with ungodly speed. He had yet to request more feedback from anyone, so he was a _tiny bit_ anxious. He took a deep breath, trying to distract his running thoughts. His mind finally latched on the first thought that came to mind.

The twins had been devastated. He hadn’t seen them since the incident happened. The twins were getting much attention at the moment, especially from Logan and Remy. He didn’t know about Remy and Damien’s relationship, but he knew about Logan and Patton’s. His best friend had been concerned that the usually-neat Logan had forgotten to shower for two whole days. Roman had to personally come to Logan’s apartment to remind his friend to take care of himself.

He had never seen Logan so worried and caught up in something that is unrelated to his studies or the outer space. He knew for a fact that Logan almost never shows any extreme reactions to serious incidents. This time, however, Logan was so unlike himself that Roman wasn’t sure how to handle his friend. Logan had been pacing around the apartment the last time he Roman saw him. He had been fidgeting the whole day, and he seemed almost helpless. Typically, Logan would always find a solution to his problems, but this one proved to be a tough equation for the analytical man.

Before another string of thought surfaced in his mind, Roman was brought out of his daze with a hand slamming on his desk.

“ _Dobroye utro, druzhishche!_ ” Remy sat down next to Roman. He wasn’t usually loud in the morning, so this was unusual.

“ _Por favor, no hagas eso…_ ” Roman placed a hand over his chest dramatically in shock. “You’re energetic this morning.”

“Yeah, I didn’t sleep last night. Like, at all. So, _girl,_ if ya don’t wanna die, don’t bug me t’day.”

Although Remy sounded cheery, Roman noticed the strain of his voice and the slight crease between his eyebrows behind his sunglasses. He decided to ignore Remy and focus on something else. The class won’t start until another seven minutes, so he decided to go through his play once more. As he read through the printed copy of the script, Virgil’s advices and inputs entered his mind once again.

Virgil. His soulmate. Roman still had a hard time that he had a soulmate at all. He didn’t need or want a soulmate, much less someone like Virgil. He didn’t have anything against Virgil, of course, but he wished Virgil wasn’t rude to him. In the last two _unplanned_ outings he had with Virgil, he had seen another side to the brooding emo. Nevertheless, he had little interest in getting to know his soulmate.

Soulmate. How ridiculous!

Roman had once loved the idea of soulmates. He’d excited every time he passed another year. That meant that he would soon meet his soulmate. He would tell his mom about all the things he would do for his soulmate. How he would cherish them unconditionally and he would shower them with affection. Thinking back, his younger self was an idiot. He knew better now that soulmates could only cause you pain. His obsession over the idea of soulmates was crushed when—

He was once again pulled out of his thoughts when the professor started speaking, starting the lesson just like how she usually does on Monday mornings. When did she even enter the room?

Throughout the lesson, he couldn’t help but notice how Remy had been shifting constantly in his seat. It wasn’t annoying. In fact, Roman found it concerning. The Russian student was usually always calm, even with his storm of sassiness. That morning, however, had been different. Roman decided to ignore his friend.

At the end of the class, the professor hushed the class. “So, three months ago I assigned a play project. As promised, the university will sponsor your play if you are chosen to be the winner. This is a competition, and you are competing against other students from this class, as well as the students from the six other classes that I teach. For those who decided to enter the competition, please step forward and hand me the copy of your script.”

Roman sighed as the nervous energy from earlier resurfaced. He took his script and walked to the front of the room to hand the copy of his script along with twenty or so other students. He went back to his seat feeling slightly relieved and on edge at the same time. He hoped his would win. It would be a stepping stone for him to reach that star that he was aiming for down the line of his future career.

As stepped out of the room, Remy was walking behind him silently. His cheery mood from an hour ago had vanished. Was something wrong? He slowed his steps, letting Remy to catch up.

“You okay, _mi amigo?_ ”

“Huh? Oh, I’m _fab-u-lous, dear,_ ” Remy said, lowering his sunglasses before replacing them, concealing his eyes once more.

“You sure, _compañero?_ ” Roman was unsure, seeing that Remy’s mood constantly changed.

“I’m fine, _babe._ Just a lil’ tired is all.” Remy pulled on the strap of his messenger bag, suddenly feeling exposed.

“You wanna go to the coffee shop?”

“Which one?”

“Whichever one you like.”

“A’right! _Roast & Grind _ it is!”

 

* * *

 

The smell of coffee and chocolate rushed to greet them once Remy opened the door, causing the little bell above the door ring. Roman followed him to the counter, eyeing the cheesecake on the display.

“One marocchino espresso and soft-baked cookie,” Remy told the barista coolly, leaning over the counter. “Whatchu want, _honey?_ ”

“I’ll have the caramel macchiato and that cheesecake, please.”

After asking their orders to be delivered, they sat at the front of the cafe where there was much any sunlight. Remy would personally prefer sitting in the back where the floor-to-ceiling window was placed, but he was too tired to walk to the back.

“You sure you’re okay, Remy?” Roman asked again.

“Yeah…” Remy looked out the window with his brows furrowed. Roman’s question left him feeling like he was harboring a foul secret.

“You don’t sound sure.”

“I’m fine, I swear. I just had a nightmare last night.” Remy cringed at his own words. Calling it a nightmare would be an understatement in his mind. It was horrific. He didn’t want to think about it for now. “Anyways, tell me about that play you wrote! Did you ask Virgil for feedback?”

Roman had to press his lips together, suppressing a slight smile.

 

* * *

 

Patton had been pacing in his bedroom for a few minutes. When he woke up this morning, he had a sudden surge of energy. He felt restless, being unable to sit in one place for more than ten minutes at a time. It was nice talking to Remy a few days ago, and he had cooked for them _again._ How wonderful that kiddo was! Patton felt surprisingly alright that morning. Tomorrow, he would start attending classes again. His brother, however, had not been feeling his best. But that’s okay, he’ll make things right and cheer his brother up!

He walked to his brother’s room, opening the door without knocking to find Damien still asleep on his bed. He silently stepped over, thankful for the socks that made his footsteps inaudible and gingerly sat on the bed. He looked out the window as his hand unconsciously reached to play with his brother’s hair. Remy’s visit the other day had improved Damien’s mood, but even with Remy there he was still hesitant to speak—other than to Patton, of course.

Suddenly, the feeling of restlessness was back. His legs were bouncing on the bed, making Damien woke with an irritated groan. They’ve been locking themselves in the apartment for almost three weeks now. Patton felt the need to go outside, but he was still weary of human contact. Especially with people he didn’t know. This was odd considering that Patton was a human magnet, attracting people left and right with his positive, happy-go-lucky charm—though considering the circumstances, it was understandable.

“You wanna go outside today?” Patton looked down at his brother who was now awake.

“No… just go alone if you want.” Damien pulled the blanket over his head, intending to slip back into slumber.

Patton let out a silent sigh. He didn’t want to see people in public, but he needed to get out of the confinement of the apartment. He walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him gently. After another minute of standing in the middle of the room, he decided to go to the park. What better place to enjoy the morning if not the park?

The park was not too far away. It was located in the middle of the city, so it was not too difficult to find it. Routinely, he would walk around the park to see the little doggos running around in the vast field of the park. Damien preferred sitting on the bench by the lake, observing the peaceful scenery. Growing as twins was exciting for Patton. His parents consistently put him together with his brother, which was understandable. They were always thought of as a unit. While Patton didn’t mind, Damien did.

The twins had a rift in their brotherly relationship when they were in fourth grade. Damien had rejected Patton, tired of being seen as one half of a pair instead of an individual. Patton was, undoubtedly, hurt by Damien’s actions. He was pushed away and ignored for weeks. Even their parents were confused. At the end, Patton had come to his mom. That night, their father had sat them down in the boys’ bedroom.

Finally, Damien had sobbed his heart out. He was… lonely. He didn’t understand what he was feeling, so he forced his brother away. He didn’t want to annoy Patton’s friends and ruin Patton’s friendship. And that night, Patton cuddle his brother to sleep for the first time in years.

Patton walked across the park, choosing to sit on the bench by the lake instead of watching the dogs. He could hear the sound of laughter from somewhere in the park. The leaves from the towering tree behind the bench fell calmly, showering him with them. He took a deep breath of the clean morning air, enjoying the scent of the world around him.

As he was starting to relax, the bench creaked with a weight from the other end. There was a man sitting on the bench. He wore a dark blue tank top, showing off his toned arms and flat stomach. The black sweatpants he wore complimented his slim figure. There was sweat dripping down the back of his neck, too. This man must have been running around the park for some time.

Feeling eyes on him, the man looked over at Patton. Oh…

“Logan? Didn’t think you’re the type to jog in the morning…”

“Oh, salutations, Patton,” Logan greeted with a slight pant in his voice. “I don’t typically run in the morning. It’s merely something that Roman had challenged me to do.”

“He challenged you to… jog in the morning?”

“Not jogging, no. Since I don’t usually jog or run, he assigned me a “task” of running a distance of seven kilometers. It doesn’t look like a lot, but for someone who never run, it caused my legs to feel numb,” Logan said with a smile, the breathiness of his voice gone. “I take it you’re feeling better since you’re no longer in your apartment?”

“Yep! I don’t feel as good as usual yet, but I’m okay now… I guess…” Patton looked back at the lake. The water caught the sunlight, making it shimmer like glitter.

“I’m glad to hear that, Patton.”

“Damien isn’t feeling good, though. He closed himself more in the past two days. He barely got out of his room.” The concern in his voice was apparent as he continued looking at the lake thoughtfully. “Usually, I know what to do. But not this time.”

Logan nodded—only because it’s the only thing he could do. He avoided dealing with emotions and by the looks of it, there was a lot of that at the moment. He’d been thinking about something else for a while, but he never found the appropriate time to bring up the subject to Patton.

He looked over at the spectacled man and moved to sit closer—not too close, since he was drenched in sweat. Patton was wearing a thin sky-blue t-shirt, paired with grey jeans. He wore a white outer shirt along with white shoes.

“Um, Patton…” he hesitated, “would you be opposed to the idea of—of another date?”

Patton whipped his head to his side, unsure of what he heard. Logan was looking at him with narrow eyes and lips pressed together in anticipation. His cheeks were painted red, though it could have been mistaken for his running earlier. Last time, Logan had asked through text. Hearing Logan asking him directly felt different. It felt more real.

“Sure!” Patton answered with a brilliant smile. Ignoring all the sweat, he wrapped his arms around Logan’s shoulder, pulling him closer and placed a kiss on Logan’s cheek.

Logan let out an almost-inaudible squeak of surprise when he was suddenly pulled into a hug. His breath hitched when he felt Patton’s lips on his face. He sighed inwardly. He’d have to get used to his soulmate’s tactile habits. All the same, he didn’t actually mind it. Not that he would tell anyone, of course. A faint smile graced his lips when he heard Patton’s giggles of glee. He was glad he could lift Patton’s spirits up.

Secretly, he was glad for other things, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm sorry this update is way later than usual. I had exams last week and I had to prepare for something else that went on in school. It's all over now, so I'm back to my usual schedule! The next chapter will hopefully be up by tomorrow. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and see you in the next one!  
> \---  
> Russian stuff:  
> Dobroye utro, druzhishche!  
> Доброе утро, дружище!  
> [Good morning, buddy!]
> 
> Spanish stuff:  
> Por favbor, no hagas eso  
> [Please, don't do that]
> 
> mi amigo  
> [my friend]
> 
> compañero  
> [buddy; pal]


	32. Secrets Within

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remy had a nightmare.  
> Damien found something interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: The first sequence of this chapter will contain violence.

The crack of a belt could be heard in the silence of the apartment. He didn’t dare move an inch of his muscle. His body stiffened at the sound and his eyes widened with a shock of horror and panic. He took a step back… and another, and another, and another. The man stood in front of him, belt in hand, wielding it as a weapon. His smile held nothing but malice; nothing like the joy that used to shine from them. Only now was it apparent that the joy had always been fake.

He tried braving himself and took yet another step back, his pace getting faster to avoid the man’s intense gaze that followed his every movement. And before long, his back met the cold touch of the wall. But suddenly, the belt clinked as it fell, the metal buckle meeting the tiled floor. _He_ moved closer, studying the cowering man’s every feature. It was then that _he_ noticed the tears that had been free-falling on the other man’s cheeks; like hot rivers, scalding and wounding.

“ _Net, net, pozhaluysta, ne plach’,_ ” He said, his voice deceptively tender, but his eyes were anything but.

“ _Ostav' menya v pokoye!_ ” The other man shouted. Though the quiver in his voice gave away his fear. He glanced at the belt on the floor with a look of terror. This was going to be harder than usual—the blows of a belt won’t break bones, but punches might. “ _Požalujsta…_ ”

 _He_ lifted an arm, fist on the ready. And in a lightning speed, knuckle connected with a jaw.

 

* * *

 

He jolted up on his bed, forehead and back covered in cold sweat. His breathing was ragged and heavy as more sweat dripped down his head, making his auburn hair stick to his forehead. Burying his face in his hands, he groaned as a wave of panic, fear and uncertainty crashed on him. It was still two o’clock in the morning, as the alarm clock on his bedside table told him, and there was no way he could ever go back to sleep.

Every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was _him._

He got up from his bed on shaky legs. After he felt steady enough, he moved to sit on his desk. He drew the curtains and opened the window, letting the cool air of the night hit his hot skin. The city looked different in the dead hour of the night. There were still some lights left turned on in a few buildings in the distance. He could hear the bark of a dog somewhere in the street below. The silence and serene atmosphere of the night didn’t reflect the heavy feeling in his chest.

Folding his arms on the desk and resting his head on them, Remy let a few fat drops of tears slip. Soon, the tears came in a steady flow, dripping down his chin. And after a while, soft sobs escaped his lips. He had learned how to cry quietly after spending so much time in that cursed house. The memory that he had so desperately tried to hide away in the back of his mind resurfaced, bringing back all the pain, sorrow and helplessness that he’d felt.

It had only been a year since he left _him_ after two years of hell.

He remembered how _he_ was so perfect. Those dark onyx eyes always held a spark of mischief in them—Remy always felt like a bullet had shot through him every time he saw those eyes. And _he_ had his charms; a way with words, making everyone feel flattered and fell on their knees for _him._ Remy used to love it. Not anymore.

Every time he remembered _him,_ he never remembers the charm; he remembered the anguish and misery instead.

His body shook slightly as the sobs kept coming. He had no way of stopping them from coming, and he had no intention to. He had been hiding this for so long that the ache in his chest had become almost unbearable. He’d always chosen not to think about it or forget about it if he could, but at some point it always comes back. The nightmare was new, however. He hoped it wouldn't come again—though knowing he had the same exact dream the previous night, he didn’t know what else to think.

There were times when Damien reminded Remy of _him._ He didn’t know why or how. Perhaps, it was how Damien made him feel at ease, just like _he_ did. Or maybe, it was the snarky way Damien spoke which reminded him of the charm that _he_ had. He didn’t want to think about it too much; didn’t want to be scared of his own soulmate. Though, another part of him was shouting in his head in alarm, warning him about how _just because he’s your soulmate, doesn’t mean he can’t hurt you, too._

Remy didn’t know what to think of Damien. He could see Damien was nothing like _him,_ though he couldn’t help but shake at the mere thought of it. And it felt wrong to be scared of Damien. He knew little about Damien, but he remembered how his soulmate had broken down in front of him; how his soulmate had accidentally told him about tangled mess that he felt.

Remy didn’t know what to think of Damien. He only hoped that Damien wouldn't turn into what _he_ was to him; a nightmare.

With his head still buried on the crook of his elbow, he reached an arm under the table, rummaging through his messenger bag for his journal. When he couldn’t reach for it, he groaned and pulled the bag onto his lap. He looked through the bag again and again, but he couldn’t find his journal. “ _Chert poberi,_ ” he cursed quietly. Where did he leave it?

 

* * *

 

Damien woke with the morning light shining on his face. He must have forgotten to close the curtains last night when he went to bed. Yesterday was uneventful. Patton went outside in the morning and didn’t come back until a little bit later in the late afternoon. His brother had mentioned something about meeting Logan, but he couldn’t be bothered to pay attention to Patton’s rambling. Damien himself hadn’t left his room in a few days.

Getting up with a groan, he went to the living room outside without making a noise. The space was clean of mess aside from the occasional candy wrappers that littered the floor. Looks like Patton had been careless with the trash—nothing unusual. All the curtains in the room were drawn, bathing the place with a warm light through the sheer material of the curtain. He walked across the small room, sitting on one end of the couch. That was when he noticed something tucked at the edge of his seat. A brown leather sketchbook.

The outer edges of the journal were stained with various colors and crinkly. He flipped through the pages, finding beautiful and intricate pencil sketches. Flipping through more pages, he found watercolor paintings decorating the pages. The first painting was of a hand holding a knife with a snake circling the forearm. The dark background completed the hauntingly beautiful painting. It was as though the hand was trying to wrestle it’s way out of the snake’s grip and was unable to stab the snake with the knife—that would mean the person would stab themselves, too.

He continued flipping through the pages, he wondered who the owner of the sketchbook was. Half of the sketchbook was still empty—off-white papers unstained with colors. As he went through the drawings once more, it was then he noticed the small name written in neat calligraphy at the bottom of the inner front cover.

 

**Ремус Галаничефф**

 

Seeing the Russian alphabets staring back at him, he could guess who owned the sketchbook. There was only one Russian who ever step foot in his apartment. He will have to return the book to Remy. How did the book get here anyway?

Knowing that the pictures inside were Remy’s, he looked through them again, trying to analyze their meaning if there were any. The last one was a pencil sketch—one that he didn’t notice before. A pencil sketch of Damien himself. It was a half body drawing, allowing Remy to put more details; the complicated waves of his hair, the sharp nose and the defined jawline. One eye was shaded more heavily than the other, perfectly capturing his heterochromatic eyes. He traced his fingers over the soft lines of the pencil, admiring a portrait of _himself._

He closed the book, bringing it back to his room. He reached for his phone next to his pillow and contemplated whether he should text Remy.

 

**From: Me**

**To: Remy**

**[08:02]**

Hey, Rem? U awake?

 

He shut his phone off again, going back to the sketchbook that was still in his hand. _‘Why would Remy draw me?’_ He went back to the earlier paintings in the first few pages of the book. There were small dates in the upper corners of each page. The first paintings and drawings were made earlier that year. Most of them seemed to have a darker theme. His favorite had to be the sketch of a broken hourglass that was drenched in black ink.

His phone buzzed.

 

**From: Remy**

**To: Me**

**[08:06]**

_Hey, hun. U good?_

 

**From: Me**

**To: Remy**

**[08:06]**

I’m fine. I found your sketchbook.

I like your art.

 

**From: Remy**

**To: Me**

**[08:07]**

_Thanks,_ milaya. _I’ll get it later._

_And also, don’t look at the last few pictures._

 

**From: Me**

**To: Remy**

**[08:08]**

Why not? I look _way_ more handsome in ur drawing.

 

* * *

 

Remy had been awake for six hours now. His eyes were heavy, but he didn’t intend going back to sleep. The text messages from Damien had refreshed his mood a little bit. He smiled as he read the last text Damien sent him. Shaking his head, he sent another text to tell Damien that he was coming over to take his journal.

 

**From: Damien**

**To: Me**

**[08:12]**

_Actually, can we just meet somewhere else?_

 

**From: Me**

**To: Damien**

**[08:12]**

Where?

 

**From: Damien**

**To: Me**

**[08:13]**

_Jacked Up Coffee?_

 

The suggestion brought a smile to Remy’s face. That coffee shop held a lot more meaning to him than most people would think. He wasn’t sentimental, but considering Jacked Up Coffee was the first place he ever been in the United States, there bound to be some kind of attachment. He let out a long contented sigh as a grin made its way to his face.

 

**From: Me**

**To: Damien**

**[08:14]**

Sure! See ya in a bit, _milaya._

 

* * *

 

“So,” Remy started, stirring his coffee, “feeling better?”

“A little, I guess.” Damien took his beanie off, fiddling with a loose thread. He still felt a weight in his chest, but talking to Remy and Patton had helped him carry the weight. It still felt heavy, yet bearable somehow. “I didn’t really want to go out, but I was bored, so…”

“Yeah? Well, I sure hope y’get better, _milaya._ ” Remy sounded upbeat, yet Damien noticed something to be off. He couldn’t put a finger on it.

“How ‘bout you?” Damien looked down at his drink, “You good?”

“‘Course I am! How dare you question me?!” Remy said with fake disbelief. A smirk was playing on his lips.

“Okay, then,” Damien smiled. His smile widened as he took the sketchbook out of his bag.

“Hey, gimme that!” Remy reach out, trying to snatch the book—and failed as Damien pulled the book back out of Remy’s reach. “Don’t look at my stuff.”

Damien ignored him, flipping through the pages until he found the sketch he was looking for. He held the picture next to his face for Remy to see. “Does it look the same? I think your drawing looks better than the real thing.”

“Ugh,” Remy groaned, his eyes lit up with joy behind his ever-present sunglasses, “give it back!” warmth bloomed in his cheeks when he saw Damien’s teasing smirk.

“Why you draw this?” Damien asked, admiring the drawing again. “You could’ve drawn anything.”

“Exactly, _milaya,_ I could have drawn _anything._  And _that’s_ what I chose to draw.”

“Oh, well, I’m happy to keep you entertained.”

Remy rolled his eyes playfully as he was finally able to snatch the sketchbook back. Something soft and warm settled in him after seeing Damien starting to come back to his playful and snarky self. Not in full force, but it was coming back. However, the warmth immediately fled when he remembered the event from last night. He didn’t want  _that_ to ever happen to him again. He hoped Damien was not like _him_ _._

“Hey,” a soft voice broke through his thoughts, “are you _sure_ you’re okay?”

“What? Oh, of course, _milaya._ I’m gonna continue my sketch now,” Remy said quickly, changing the topic. “Stay still and be a good model!”

He took out his drawing kit from his messenger bag and started sketching Damien’s profile. Having a life model directly in front of him helped a lot. He could get a lot more details that way. He would occasionally kick Damien’s leg under the table if he moved too much.

As he closed his sketchbook and shoved it into his messenger bag, the unsettling feeling in his chest grew. It was as if something was trying clawing its way out of his stomach. He sighed, furrowing his brows when his nightmare from last night came back yet again. He bit his lips anxiously, not noticing Damien’s attempts to get his attention. It was when he felt a comforting weight on his shoulder that he looked up.

Damien was no longer seated, but standing next to him. He couldn’t help but lean into the touch even though he was still unsure of Damien. He’d worry about that later.

“Let’s go somewhere else. You won’t tell me what’s wrong, so let’s just get your mind off of it,” Damien said, taking Remy’s hand and towing him along to exit the coffee shop. “It helped _me_ when you talked to me that time.”

Remy sighed, having no other option but to follow. He promised himself he would never tell Damien about Varden Dominic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! This had been yet another addition to the story. I think this story fic is going to be a long one, so I hope all of you will stick around until the end. Do give some suggestions and feedback in the comments section if you think anything could be improved. Thank you for reading!!!
> 
> See you in the next one!  
> \---  
> Russian stuff:  
> Нет, нет, пожалуйста, не плачь.  
> Net, net, pozhaluysta, ne plach'.  
> [No, no, please don't cry.]
> 
> Оставь меня в покое  
> Ostav' menya v pokoye  
> [Leave me alone]
> 
> Пожалуйста  
> Požalujsta  
> [Please]
> 
> Чёрт побери!  
> Chert poberi!  
> [Damn it!]
> 
> Милая  
> Milaya  
> [pretty; sweet(ie); honey]


	33. Veils and Masks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thinking proved to be a dangerous habit for Virgil.  
> Damien dragged Remy out of the coffee shop for a little chat.

“Remy?” Virgil hollered in the apartment, seeking his cousin who was nowhere in sight. “Rem?”

He walked out into the modest living room and saw that it was vacant. The kitchen was also unsurprisingly empty. He walked back into his room, passing by Remy’s bedroom door. Typically, there would be noises from his cousin’s room, but this time it was just as quiet as the rest of the apartment. Remy must be out then. From the countless times he’d talked about Patton and Damien in the last three weeks, it might be possible that Remy was visiting the twins _again._ He didn’t mind, of course, but he wished Remy had told him. That way, he could come with his cousin and visit his friends. Granted, Virgil and the twins weren’t very close, but at least he could make an effort to be a worthy friend.

It was still about ten in the morning, so he could do anything he wanted until class started later at one in the afternoon. Although class wasn’t going to start until another three hours, Virgil was used to prepare way ahead of time for his class. Since he didn’t have any uncompleted assignments that day, he decided to walk around campus. It might seem to be an odd habit for him to walk around the campus grounds, but Virgil found the activity rather exciting. Thus far, he found a gigantic tree behind the campus buildings and a private room on the other side of the housekeeping area at the edge of the grounds.

The tree remained to be his favorite place in the campus. The long hanging leaves of the massive willow tree surrounded the tree like a drape of a lush curtain. The tips of the leaves barely grazed the ground. The deep roots protruded from the ground, making dips and curves in the ground; an ideal place for sitting. Virgil had once came there at night. The place was spine-chilling at night, but he had somehow overcome over the dark-unknown of the night. Once he was under the cover of the thick, lively leaves he felt as though he had stepped into a whole other world. All around him were millions of little dots of light. Fireflies. The view had brought a sense of serenity in him.

And the best part, no one knew of the willow tree—which was unbelievable considering its humongous size.

Virgil skirted the area around the campus buildings to where the willow tree stood tall and proud. He had never visited the tree this early in the day before, but he thought it would be just as lovely as it was when it’s dark. He extended his arms into the veil of green and pushed his way into the mysterious natural chamber. It was as breathtaking as it was at night. The dazzling sunlight was filtered through the cloak of leaves, giving the place a comforting air. _‘I might just take a nap here.’_

Many thoughts swam in his mind as he sat in the crook of the roots. The gentle tufts of grass that were able to grow in the dim shroud of the green cave brushed against his hands. For some reason, his mind went to Patton. He thought Patton was a little too nice to everyone. The bubbly man paid attention to everyone equally and always made him feel included when they gather in groups. Sure, he’d only met Patton twice, and so far Patton hadn’t given Virgil a reason to oppose him. He wondered how Patton was doing after the death of his father. From what he heard from Remy, both Patton and Damien were a mess—nothing unexpected. He hoped they would get better.

 

* * *

 

“Where are we even going, _hun?_ ” Remy was reluctantly following Damien through the hectic streets of Florida. He started regretting ever stepping his foot outside the apartment. “Day, seriously, where are we going?”

“Shush! Just follow,” Damien responded, still looking ahead of him. Aside from _Jacked Up Coffee,_ there were other spots in the city that Damien loved. There was a small ice cream parlor about four blocks away. It was a little secluded, so there weren’t many people who frequented the shop. “It’s just a little place where you can kinda… _cool down._ ”

“I’m not _fuming_ right now, so what is the point of cooling down, _girl?_ ” Remy huffed.

_‘But you sure are_ hot. _’_ Damien smirked at himself, not answering Remy’s question.

After another ten minutes of walking, they crossed the street and headed to an alleyway. This alley was not the typical trash-filled-and-smelly alleyway behind restaurants, however. The walls of the alley were painted vivid yellows and pinks and the walkway was dry. At the end of the path, there was a small glass building colorful stained glass. On top of the little building was a sign which read _Swirlies._

Remy felt the dark chains squeezing at his heart from earlier eased as he entered the glass house. The roof was made of dark wood that curved like a dome. There were only six or seven tables in there with two to three seats for each table. The stained glass walls filtered the sunlight into the room, giving the shop a halo of colors. How could such a pretty place exist? Another door at the back of the shop was also made of stained glass.

“Welcome to _Swirlies!_ We eat all we can and sell the rest!” A young woman stood behind the wooden counter with a welcoming smile.

“Eliza,” Damien greeted the girl.

“Damien,” the girl countered the short greeting, still with a beaming smile.

“Hol’ up. Y’all know each other?” Remy asked, raising an eyebrow behind his sunglasses.

“Oh, yes! I’m Damien’s friend from high school,” Eliza explained herself. “And you are?”

“Wait, you were more Patton’s friend than mine. But I guess you’re my friend, too,” Damien answered swiftly, concealing his surprise behind a face of indifference. “And this is Remy. He’s my—my soulmate…”

Eliza almost dropped the ice cream scoop that she held in one of her hands. Her eyes opened wide and lips parted open slightly. Her brows were shot up, Damien thought they blended in with her hairline. She blinked rapidly a few times and shook herself out of her shocked daze. How is this possible? Patton had told her Damien didn’t have a soulmate.

“Oh wow… Remy, was it? Welcome to our little shop!”

“Oh, thank you, _darling!_ ” Remy smiled at Eliza’s enthusiasm. A question popped up in the back of his mind. He’d have to ask Damien about that later. “I think it’s ice cream time, _hun,_ ” he said once more, lowering his sunglasses to reveal his jade eyes.

Damien sighed and dragged his hand over his face. He ordered a scoop of caramel ice cream, and Remy went with a mix of coffee and chocolate. Damien then walked into the stained glass door, expecting Remy to follow him without a word, leaving Eliza standing behind the counter with a bewildered look.

Behind the door was a circular room, decorated with yet more stained glass windows which overlooked the other side of the street outside the alleyway earlier. There were no other people in the shop other than the two of them and Eliza, so they had the place all to themselves. The smell of vanilla lingered in the area along with the faint smell of flowers.

“Nice place, right?” Damien took a seat by the window, looking out into the street. Remy sat in the chair opposite him as they both enjoyed the tranquil silence. The echo of the vacant room made the place feel unused—somehow untouched. The light from the windows shone on their faces. Damien could see Remy’s eyes behind his sunglasses as the sunlight made the shades brown instead the familiar black. “What you lookin’ at?”

“Nothing… why was she so surprised when you told her I’m your soulmate?”

Damien laid back on his seat. “She thought I didn't have a soulmate?”

“How doesn’t she know?”

“Patton told her I didn't have a soulmate… but that was two years ago. I’ve never kept in touch with old friends.”

“Oh… you said she was Patton’s friend and not yours? I mean, y’did say she’s your friend, too. But _like…_ you looked kinda unsure, Day.”

Damien shrugged, looking out the window once more as he bit into his ice cream—who _bites_ ice cream? Something uncomfortable blanketed his thoughts. Even though he lived in the same house and lifestyle as his brother, he didn’t have the same childhood as Patton. Loneliness remained to be the only old friend Damien ever had. He avoided talking about his childhood when it came to friends and social life. However, Remy’s question brought some conflict in him. As if something in him had suddenly woken up from its long nap.

“Dunno… never saw her as a friend I guess.” He avoided eye-contact, setting his eyes on a spot of dirt on the window. “Okay, so what’s up with you? You were kinda frowny back in the coffee shop,” Damien shifted the subject and hoping Remy would move on to another topic.

“Nothing, _girl._ I’m, _like,_ super fine.” Remy took out his sketchbook and opened it to the last sketch. He looked up at Damien who gave him a puzzling look. With the colorful light bathing his face, Remy thought Damien looked sharp and… something. He dug his messenger bag until he found what he was looking for; a bulky pencil case filled with colored pencils. “Can I draw you again?”

“Eh, why not,” Damien said with a smirk.

 

* * *

 

The warmth of the sunlight crawled on his face rousing him up from his brief nap. He’d managed to tuck himself against the trunk of the willow, using his hoodie to cover his slender form. Class won’t start until another hour. He made his way outside the green covers, blinking his eyes rapidly as they adjust to the intense light. There was a little cafe at the other side of campus that he never went to before—because that was where the cool jocks hang out—so he decided to go there for a light lunch before class.

He ended up with a sandwich and a mug of iced chocolate. He ate in silence while he wrote down random ideas for short stories in his notebook. It wasn’t an assignment; he used writing as an outlet to express what he felt and how he saw the world. No one needed to know he was working on a novel. After Roman had praised his work a while back, he became more confident with his ability. He decided to expand on that very story and make it a full length novel. He hoped everything would work.

Speaking of Roman, Virgil was still puzzled by his boisterous soulmate. It was a ridiculous thing to say he had a soulmate. Ironically, the one person who was supposed to accept him hated his guts. He didn’t know why he was surprised. He wasn’t sure what to think of Roman. Did he deserve Virgil’s seething hatred? _‘I mean, he’s smart enough not to like me, so… I don’t even blame him.’_

Another thought crossed his mind. _‘What if I just find someone else. Roman is_ clearly _going to look for someone else. Wait, no, it won’t work. Who_ wants _to be with me? Even my_ soulmate _loathes me, so I guess I’m gonna be alone forever.’_ The thought didn’t even sting him anymore like it used to. It was a fact that he was willing to accept; just as he had done a million times before. The only people who ever truly accepted him were his parents—and Remy. No other people ever see him as anything other than “the weird emo wannabe.” He didn’t see the point of trying anymore, so he didn’t.

Of course, he didn’t understand why Roman hated him, but he thought it made sense. He _was_ a weirdo after all. Even during the times when he and Roman hung out, his boisterous _soulmate_ had always maintained a big distance between them. He wasn’t offended—in fact, he’d never thought of being offended by Roman.

He checked the time on his phone as he took a final bite of his sandwich. Another fifteen minutes until class. Apparently he’d been sitting there looking at nothing for thirty minutes. Great. He put his notebook and pen back in his bag, flinging them in without a care and walked to class.

 

* * *

 

Damien watched as Remy colored the sketch with focus. The previously-grey picture burst with color as of a drop of the rainbow had been splattered across the sketchbook. The tinted glass of the ice cream shop was aesthetically pleasing, giving Remy the idea to distort the picture with the irregular colors that swirled in the room. Damien could see the drawing as Remy continued to work on it, occasionally looking up at him. He noticed how Remy adorably stuck his tongue out as he concentrated.

“How are you doing, _milaya?_ ” Remy asked in the midst of doing his art. “Y’said you’re fine, but are you _really_ fine?”

“I’m good.” It wasn’t a blatant lie. He _did_ feel lighter than he was in the past three weeks, but it wasn’t enough to say he was genuinely alright. He was willing to pretend for his brother and Remy. After all, they both have supported him a lot.

Remembering the last time Remy had visited him, he wanted Remy’s hug again—he didn’t receive the hug last time, but he did get some pasta. He could still recall the impenetrable fog of awkwardness when he pulled himself from Remy’s embrace with red eyes, but he didn’t care. Remy’s hug may not be as comforting as Patton’s, but there was something about how Remy knew what to do and say to calm him down.

After another long moment of silence, the sound of flapping paper echoed the room. After Remy had signed the picture, he ripped it out of his sketchbook. He held it against the colorful light that bathed the room and compared to Damien’s features. After that, he placed the piece of drawing on the table, pushing it to Damien’s hand.

“For you. Keep it,” Remy said with something in his voice that Damien couldn’t place.

“Wow…” Damien gasped. “I’ve been seeing it upside down while you’re working on it. Looking at it right side up is even better. Thanks.” There was a smile hidden somewhere in his words.

He admired the drawing once again, paying attention of the little details and shadows of colors. He particularly loved how the combinations of colors combined into a kitsch sort of style. He thought his eyes looked better in the drawing than they were in real life.

“So, tell me,” Remy broke his trance with his familiar sassy voice. “What d’ya think was the best thing you’ve said or done back when you were in high school?”

“Huh… lemme see…” Damien sifted through his memory, trying to find something that was not even remotely pathetic. His eyes widened as he found a perfect story to tell.

“This one time in English class, we had a new teacher,” he said with a smirk. “He hated cellphones with every inch of his being. Like _holy shit_ this teacher hated phones with a fucking passion. At the beginning of the school year, he had us sign a “contract” that we wouldn’t have phones in the class or else he’ll confiscate it. So, one day I was on my phone and he said _“you have to give it to me now, as was agreed on the contract,”_ or some stuff like that. So, I said to him _“a contract signed with a minor are not legally binding,”_ and I just continued on doing things in my phone.”

Remy burst into laughter. His laugh was contagious as Damien let out a chuckle. “I mean, I got detention afterwards, but it was all worth it just to fuck around with that douchey ass teacher.”

Remy laughed more hysterically, imagining a fifteen year-old Damien sitting in class while nonchalantly challenging the teacher. He rested his forehead on the table, clutching his stomach as he continued laughing. He looked up again, seeing Damien looking at him with a smile. Once the laughter subsided, he remembered something that caused him to fell into another fit of giggles.

“ _O Bozhe…_ Aren’t you studying laws now? I think you were born to become a lawyer, _babe!_ ”

Damien tried suppressing his laughter, using his hand to cover the growing smile on his face. Hearing Remy laugh made something in him shift. _Something_ wormed its way to Damien’s chest, making him feel at ease.

The two were so consumed with laughter that they didn’t notice the glass door opened. Eliza came through the door with two plates of chocolate cake in her hands. She’d heard the laughter from the counter outside, but she didn’t expect to ever see Damien smile, let alone laugh. When she first met Patton in middle school, they came to be fast friends. Damien, however, was a _little_ different than her brother. He was always quiet and intimidating that no one had ever even tried to approach him. There was a boy named Pascal that bullied him, but it didn’t happen again the following year.

She approached the two and placed the cakes in front of them. Damien quickly gained his composure and looked up at Eliza with a questioning look. Remy was still letting out giggles.

“What’s this for?” Damien asked, pointing at the cake with a raised brow.

“Oh, we started selling bakery, too. This one’s free, for you guys!” Eliza crossed her arms with a nod, a smile still sitting on her face. “Also, since today the shop’s empty—except for Rob sitting in the break room—can I sit here with you guys?”

“Sure!” Remy exclaimed, wiping the tears of laughter away.

“Okay then.” Eliza dragged a chair from the neighboring table and seated herself. “How long have you two been together?”

“Uhhh…” Damien and Remy looked at each other as color bloomed on their faces.

“We’re—we’re not—we’re not dating,” Damien said awkwardly, putting a hand behind his neck.

Eliza let out a short chuckle. “Aww, you guys are cute.”

“Ugh…” Damien groaned. “Stop that or I’ll send you back out to the counter.”

“Anywaaay…” Remy drew out his word, “ _honey,_ you know anything about Day’s phone-contract-with-English-teacher story? Is that whole thing even real?”

“Phone contract? Oh… the one with Mr. Greene?” She asked, continuing after Damien nodded in confirmation. “Yeah, it was crazy. I mean, he said that whole “not legally binding” thing with his legs on the table and playing with his phone.”

Remy laughed again, making Damien roll his eyes with a smile.

 

* * *

 

As the sun came sinking into the horizon and more customers started to crowd the shop, Damien and Remy excused themselves to allow Eliza do her shift in the shop. She waved them goodbye as they walked through the colorful alleyway into the streets.

“That was fun,” Remy said with a faint smile. Damien responded with a shrug. They made their way back to the center of the city where they were supposed to part their ways. “I’ll visit you again next week. I’ll drag Logan with me.”

Damien gave a shy side-smile. “Can I walk with you? Um—like, I mean—cus’ I don’t really want to go back yet. Wait, no—I meant I just didn’t—”

He was interrupted with Remy’s giggles. Warmth melted into his face and neck. “Just say you wanna walk me home, _babe,_ ”

The walk to the apartment was uneventful. There were no talks, no laughs; just the sound of the lively city around them. Fifteen minutes later, they were standing in front of the apartment building. As Remy bid his goodbye, Damien interrupted him.

“Before you go… can I—can I just…” He hesitated as another flash of pink painted his face. He whispered, “can I have a hug?”

Remy smiled shyly and stepped forward, encircling his arms around Damien’s shoulder without a word. In turn, Damien wrapped his arms awkwardly around Remy’s waist. After a few seconds, the awkwardness started to thaw. Damien pulled Remy closer, clinging to him tighter. He knew he needed a hug—not Remy’s hug—but this was the best he could get now. There were still many lingering memories of his father that were still painful to think about. He needed Travis Harvey’s famous bear-hug, but the man wasn’t there to give it to him. So he held on tightly to Remy, trying to forget everything but the amber of warmth in his chest that was starting to spark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I know we've been seeing a lot of sleepceit recently, I'm so sorry. The next chapter will definitely be logicality, I promise! Thanks for reading and please please please give your thoughts (or theories) in the comments. I'd love to see what you think about this.
> 
> See ya in the next one!  
> \---  
> Russian stuff (correct me if I'm wrong):
> 
> Милая  
> Milaya  
> [pretty; sweet(ie); honey]
> 
> O Bozhe  
> О Боже  
> [Oh my God; Oh God]


	34. Aquarium and Discussions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan slipped, asking something that he wasn't supposed to.  
> Remy is not doing well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Mentions of violence in last segment.

“Hey, look at that one!” He pointed excitedly at a large shark that swam through the overhead aquarium, its tail moving slowly with grace. “Wonder what shark that is.”

“Well,” Logan pushed his glasses that had started to make its way down the bridge of his nose, “I believe that is a bull shark. Did you know that bull sharks can survive in both freshwater and saltwater? Some have been found to migrate from the ocean to freshwater bodies such as the Amazon river and even Lake Michigan.”

“How do you always know so many things about so many things?” Patton tilted his head in wonder, making his wavy locks swish over his head. Logan couldn’t help but found it adorable. “Like, not even _just_ about space.”

“I read frequently about many things,” Logan answered plainly.

“Shocker.”

“I didn’t know you were capable of sarcasm.”

Patton only responded with a beaming smile as they continued walking down the long tunnel of the aquarium. That morning, Patton had suggested going to the aquarium which Logan had no objection to. If anything, Logan did not expect Patton to choose such a place. Though recalling the way Patton looked at a little fish back at the fair last time, he could recognize how Patton would like the aquarium. He looked to his side again, seeing Patton looking at the aquatic specimens with a wonder as a child would. He couldn’t possibly imagine what Patton would have been like when he was younger.

They’ve already spent the whole morning in the aquarium and had their lunch there as well. As they stepped out of the aquarium tunnel, the room became duskier. Walking a little further, there were towers of tall and narrow aquaria. The LED lights gave the glass boxes an eccentric neon hue that shifted from a warm red, to purple and blue. In them, were—

“Oh my god, Logan! Look at the jellies!” Patton rushed to one of the aquariums and pressed his face against the glass, sending his glasses free falling to the carpeted floor—and he didn’t notice. The jellyfish pulsed slowly in the tank, moving leisurely with eloquence.

Logan let out a small chuckle which he tried to hide with a hand concealing his face. He retrieved Patton’s glasses and gently turned the bubbly man around by the shoulder. “Here,” he said, placing the glasses onto Patton’s face. He was glad that the dim lighting of the room concealed the color that was streaked across his cheeks. He obscured his face with a fist against his mouth and coughed. He smiled when he heard Patton’s faint giggles. He hadn’t heard Patton’s enthusiastic voice or laughter of glee in what felt like ages. Glancing at Patton who was looking at him with a smile—a smile that caused something in him _twist_ —made him want to wrap his arms around the other and protect him at all cost.

_‘I_ really _think something is terribly wrong with me,’_ he thought as he felt a tiny jolt in his stomach.

“Did you know that jellyfish consisted of approximately ninety-five percent water?” Logan walked past Patton to stand in front of the next aquarium with smaller jellies. “They would evaporate if they were to be pulled out of water for too long.”

“Again, it’s weird you know more about animals when _I’m_ the one who’s taking a veterinary major.” Patton followed, standing next to Logan in front of the other aquarium.

They walked again through another short tunnel into an enormous hall. A massive circular aquarium stood in the middle of the room. Patton stood in shock with his jaw hanging open as he stared at the five-storey-tall aquarium. Even Logan seemed to be amazed. There were hundreds of colorful corals in the aquarium—it looked like someone installed neon lights in the water. There were schools of small fishes swimming around, some in a sluggish pace, others with a force of energy.

Patton found a sudden burst of energy in him as he jumped up and down with excitement. He yanked Logan’s arm, running towards the giant aquarium. He crashed onto the metal fence that set as a barrier with force. For a second his mind blanked. He was _certain_ he knew what the big square thing was called. He couldn’t seem to place it at the moment.

“What’s the sea ravioli, Logan?” He asked with enthusiasm.

“That’s—did you just refer to manta rays as ‘sea ravioli,’ Patton?” Logan uttered the rhetorical question with amusement written across his face.

“Look, I knew what it was called, okay. I forgot!” Patton said between laughs. He instinctively leaned towards Logan, burying his face on his soulmate’s shoulder. He wrapped his arms around Logan’s neck tightly and let go instantly. “Thanks for bringing me here, Lo!”

“Uh—uhm… yes—uh, I—it’s… alright?” Logan frowned at the jumble of words that came out of his mouth. What was _wrong_ with him? He felt another jolt in his stomach, making him place his hand against his sternum.

Patton once again dragged him to the other side of the aquarium, looking at another part of the corals. “Oh! Logan, look, it’s a mantis shrimp!” He pointed at a colorful animal on the aquarium floor. “Did you know that a mantis shrimp’s punch is so fast that the water around its claw would boil and kill its prey?”

“You know what a mantis shrimp is and not a manta ray?” Logan said with a teasing smirk.

“Hey! I knew what a manta ray was! I just forgot what it was called.”

“Okay,” Logan said with feigned disbelief, the smirk still sitting firmly on his lips.

“Did Logan just say ‘okay,’ everyone? Whoa, what an _oceanic_ surprise!” Patton faked a gasp. Logan furrowed his brows in discontent—or at least he _appeared_ discontent as a smile was starting to worm its way to his face. “And in case you didn’t know,” Patton said with his best impression of Logan, “the word ‘oceanic’ could mean _great_ or _vast_ as is the word ‘astronomical.’”

Logan couldn’t suppress his grin any longer. “Alright, that’s enough.” He waved his hand in front of his face. “You know, you always surprise me.”

“Good,” Patton said with a wink, making Logan cough awkwardly as redness climbed up his neck and bled across his cheeks.

A fuzzy feeling started growing in his chest. It was uncomfortable, and Logan was surprised he didn’t want the feeling to fade. Patton was walking next to him with a bounce in his step. The smile on his lips gradually faded. Something was amiss.

It had merely been a month since Patton’s father’s death. _‘Mostly, people would grieve for at least six months up to two years after the lost of a close loved one.’_ Logan continued to observe his high-spirited soulmate with attentive eyes. _‘Isn’t this…’_

“Patton,” he called hesitantly as they stepped out of the aquarium building. Patton looked up with his trademark sunshiny smile. “If you don’t mind me asking… why don’t you ever talk about your father?” Logan cringed at his own words. _‘Logan, you moron. You don’t ask that to people.’_

Patton’s smile fell in an instant, replaced by a growing frown and furrow of the brows. He immediately marched away from Logan with forceful stomps, wanting to get away as quick as he could. Logan sighed and dragged a hand down his face. He jogged, catching up to Patton and placed a gentle hand on Patton’s shoulder. He half expected Patton to snap, but it didn’t happen. Instead, Patton looked up at him with glassy eyes as his lips quivered slightly.

“I’m sorry, I…” Logan didn’t finish his sentence as he quickly decided to find somewhere for Patton to sit and calm down. He took Patton by the hand and led him to a bench by the sidewalk not far from the building. He calmly told Patton to sit as a sting of guilt attacked his chest. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to breach into a sensitive topic.”

Patton looked at Logan carefully with his mismatched eyes. He was thankful when he found no trace of pity in those icy blue eyes. His vision became blurry as memories that he had tried to suppress came flooding back.

He remembered when his dad used to tell him and his brother bedtime stories that were so ridiculous it filled his imagination with fantastic images. He remembered the time when his dad gave him small advice to get him through tough times. And he remembered the time when his dad knew just what to do when Damien had been so angry. He remembered how his dad would make them feel safe in a way that mom couldn’t. Patton loved his dad’s dad jokes and the puns, the humor, the hugs.

And he remembered how his dad would give everything he had for his family—especially to his mom. She was everything to him. They would share secret glances and laugh together for no reason. Sometimes he and his brother would find their parents chatting in the backyard, leaning on each other with smiles on their faces. He missed his dad. And he missed his mom.

“I haven’t seen her in ages, Logan…” the tears that he’d tried to hold back for weeks finally came falling. “When is she coming back?” he buried his face in his hands, ignoring the glasses that was squished against his face.

Logan moved to crouch in front of Patton’s hunched figure and delicately pried the fingers away. He took Patton’s glasses off and wiped them with his shirt. “Who are you talking about, Patton?”

“Mom. I haven’t seen her in ages. I don’t want anything to happen to her.” Soft sobs started breaking their way out of him. “And I miss dad. I miss his hug and his jokes. He always made everything seem so funny. He always made bad stuff seem good. I miss him _so much._ ”

Logan moved again, sitting next to Patton and circling one arm around Patton’s shoulder in an awkward attempt at comfort. Patton leaned his weight on Logan, clutching his face to keep the sobs away. There were so many things that he didn’t want to think about. He could hear his dad’s voice saying  _“Damien, don’t be like that to your brother,”_ or _“Patton, what is this mess?”_ He could taste the omelettes that his dad would make every morning—the omelettes that he and his brother hated so much but now miss.

“Come here.” Logan hesitantly pulled Patton closer into a hug. As Patton slumped onto his chest, he tightened his hold, as if trying to hold Patton together if in any case he will break. “I’m sorry, Patton. It’s alright… It’s alright…”

After a few long moments, Patton’s crying was reduced to hiccups. He buried his head deeper into Logan’s chest and under the coat Logan was wearing. Logan smelled like coffee and old paper; the scent was soothing. He tried calming himself down, focusing on Logan’s arm that rested around his shoulder and his other hand that was rubbing tender strokes on his back. He focused on Logan’s steady heartbeat—stable and heavy—making a sense of calm wash over him slowly.

“Do you wish to go home, Patton?” Logan asked in a low voice.

“No,” Patton whispered. He looked at the streaks of colors that was starting to color the sky. The sun was setting soon. “Do you mind going somewhere else?”

“Of course not. Do you have somewhere in mind?”

Patton nodded against Logan’s chest and slowly pulled himself back. Logan stood up and helped him stand on shaky legs. After that, they were off again with the light mood from before no longer hanging over them.

 

* * *

 

“Damien and I used to go here during middle school when we were bored at home,” Patton said as they made their way to the edge of the city. A small park sat on a small hill where the twins used to go to. Back then, it was full of kids running around the playground or climbing the monkey bars and slipping down on the slippery slide. Now, it’s abandoned; wild weeds grew between the cracks of cement, swings creaked with rust and the tree house, although still strong, was starting to hide behind growing leaves. “Mom and dad would be worried when we disappeared for hours after school. They didn’t know we went here.”

Logan followed Patton’s gaze to the view of half the city at the foot of the hill. The dying sunlight reflected on the glass of tall buildings that looked more like porcelain from the distance. He could vaguely see the vast area of the University grounds and the tall library that sat in the middle. The streaks of red across the sky turned into purple and deep blue, cooling the warm sky. The clouds were painted with orange, just like the sky. It was a wonderful sight.

He looked down at Patton who was still gazing into the distance of the city. He paid attention to how the orange and red of the setting sun colored Patton’s skin with life, highlighting his features. And when Logan saw into Patton’s mismatched eyes, only then did he knew what the meaning of stargazing was. Only then did he understand what a star should look like; shining bright with unrivaled beauty.

“I don’t know what to do now…” Patton said, his voice cracking. “About mom… and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now that dad isn’t here.”

“Patton, I understand you are still grieving. And it’s alright to—to feel a little confused.” Logan tried to reassure Patton. “I—well, I didn’t know what to do when my father left either.”

“What?”

“Oh, um…” Logan hesitated for a moment. Only Roman knew of his father. “My mother and father were _not_ soulmates. They both didn’t have one. After about eleven years together, they decided to go their own ways. It’s alright, though. My parents are still quite close to each other—let’s say best friends.

“I still saw him a lot when I lived with my mother. But at one point, I couldn’t help but feel like I did something wrong. I understood, of course, that it wasn’t my fault… but I still felt responsible.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. What I meant to say was that there wasn't anything wrong with feeling confused or conflicted. And it’s _definitely_ alright if you feel dejected or sick in the heart.” Logan couldn’t believe what he was saying. He didn’t expect himself to ever give someone else an advice about _feelings_ and _emotions._ Especially not to someone like Patton. “What you shouldn’t do is bury everything inside for you to disentangle alone. You should perhaps—you could talk to someone.”

Patton looked up at Logan and hugged his arm. He rested his head against Logan’s shoulder, mumbling “I miss his hugs.” When he let go of Logan arm, he found himself being pulled into another warm embrace. He didn’t know why Logan was suddenly so tactile, but he wasn’t complaining.

“I think it’s time to go, don’t you think?” Logan asked.

Patton nodded as the last of the purples in the sky turned into darkness.

 

* * *

 

“Thanks, Lo,” Patton said with a smile. “Today was fun… and thanks for… y’know.”

“Any time,” Logan said with a nod, returning Patton’s smile with his own.

Patton unlocked the door to the apartment and Logan turned to leave. As he looked at Logan’s back becoming smaller in the distance, he shouted, earning Logan’s attention. He smiled wide and ran, launching himself at the taller man to give him a peck on the cheek. Before he heard Logan’s reaction, he had run back to the apartment door and went inside.

Once inside, he leaned back on the door with his chin on his chest. He took off his jacket, smile still resting on his face. Despite the rather gloomy turn at the end, Patton _loved_ the outing. He was glad he could get something off his chest even if it was small. There were still lots of things he needed to work on. For now, he’ll let his heart rest with the memory the icy blue eyes that brought him peace.

 

* * *

 

He woke up with a jolt. Carefully, he sat up on the bed trying to calm the thundering beat of his heart that felt like it was going burst out of his chest. Nine days. It had been nine days since the nightmares started—and it had gotten worse the night after he met Damien. Remy glanced at the alarm clock that sat on the bedside table. _03:24._ He wasn’t sure if he’ll ever go to sleep again that night. Walking over to his desk under the window, he took his sketchbook and tried to get an idea.

After turning the desk lamp on, he prepared his painting kit and made a light pencil sketch on the thick paper. After he had finished the line work, he filled the drawing with colors. It was of a boy with his eyes covered by a tangle of blood-red thread, blinding him. There were traces of black tears trailing down his cheeks and dripping down his chin. Bruises littered the skin on the neck, collarbone and chest. The deep colors of purple, red and green came together sickeningly like rotten flesh. The jagged lines of the thread looked threatening, as if it will come alive and attack.

Remy stared at the painting, trying to make sense of it. He sighed heavily, giving up when he couldn’t understand. Nothing made sense anymore. Why had the nightmare only came now? Why didn’t it come the week after _he_ had left? Why didn’t it come when he was still with Varden? Why, of all time, did it come after he met his soulmate? Was the universe trying to scare him? Perhaps he was destined to have a dysfunctional relationship for life.

Looks like he was starting his day super early for the ninth day in a row.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again, readers! Thank you for reading!! So, some of you might be wondering why there weren't many flashbacks after Travis' death. I hope that question is answered in this chapter. Anyway, I hope you liked this addition and leave a comment on what you think.
> 
> See you in the next one!
> 
> ~AJ


	35. Another

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remy and Logan came to the twins again, and this time Virgil came.  
> Patton and Damien had to think about their feelings.

Virgil took a small, thin notebook that was squished between the bulky books on his bookshelf. The notebook was empty besides a few entries of notes he’d written sometime after his  _ hour. _ From the middle of the notebook, he took out a small piece of paper. He had wanted to destroy the little note, but he could never bring himself to do it.

 

_ Roman Cascales. _

_ I never wanted this, still don’t want this. Don’t look for me. _

 

He couldn’t understand why Roman wouldn’t want a soulmate. Of course, he knew why Roman didn’t want  _ him _ as a soulmate, but would it be different if it weren’t Virgil? With the note in his hand, he walked to the bathroom and stared at the reflection in the mirror. The sharp lines of his features were harsh, making him look almost lifeless. Paired with his pale complexion and his fading violet hair, he looked like a disaster. No wonder no one wanted him. He looked down at the note again and read the last line.

 

_ If you ever see me, walk the other way. _

 

When he first saw Roman back at the supermarket anger had stirred in him. He stayed rooted where he stood. He knew he should have walked away to spare himself the pain, but he could only stay there until Remy called him. He had wanted to walk away, following what the note asked him to do, but something in him told him not to. Maybe because he was too stubborn to back down, or perhaps he didn’t want to believe his own soulmate had pushed him away. He had placed so much hope, wishing that he might belong with someone—but even  _ that _ wasn’t real. 

He’ll always be alone, and nothing could ever change that.

“Ey,  _ gurl. _ Sum’s up?” Remy walked through the open bedroom door, standing next to his cousin’s hunched figure by the desk. Virgil quickly hid the note in his fist, not caring that he was crumpling the paper.

“How’s Damien?” Virgil stealthily placed the crumpled note back into the pages of the thin notebook, away from Remy’s view. “You were out with him, right?”

“He’s fine,” Remy said with a flamboyant wave of the hand. “He’s still kinda down, though. But  _ like, _ no one could blame him, so yeah.”

Virgil noticed how Remy’s posture deflated slightly. His shoulders that were always pulled back with confidence now slumped forward. And his mussed auburn hair was a mess. “What’s wrong with you, Rem? It’s like the storm in your sass moved to your face.”

“Why does everyone ask that? And  _ excuse _ you,  _ honey. _ My face is  _ perfectly  _ fine!  _ You, _ little  _ bitch, _ should look in a mirror.”

Virgil rolled his eyes playfully with a smirk. He loved getting Remy riled up, however small it might be. He remembered when he first met his cousin nine years ago back in Russia. It was the second time he saw his uncle. His uncle was a big burly man with a full beard and strong, straight posture—unlike his own father who was lean with thin features, though both man shared their massive height. When they arrived in Moscow, Virgil had hid behind his father while his cousin was jumping excitedly, screaming in Russian which Virgil did not understand. Their fathers had to be a bridge of communication between the two children—though Virgil’s father spoke better English.

Virgil looked over to his cousin who was looking down on his nails. Sometimes, Remy would vent about Damien—how he was a little dejected and distracted when Damien was down. Other times, Remy would speak about how he was clueless as to how he could comfort Damien. It all brought a sense of emptiness in him, knowing he didn’t have someone who would care about him the way Remy does Damien. Virgil would never admit how many times he lay awake at night to simply imagine what it would be like to have someone by his side.

“When are you going to the Harveys again?” Virgil asked, eyes darting around awkwardly. He pursed his lips into a thin line.

“ _ Like, _ this evening, I guess?” Remy said, still looking down at his nails. “Why?”

“Can I come with you? I mean, I haven’t seen them in almost a month, so I thought why not…”

“Sure,  _ honey.  _ Imma drag Logan with me, too.”

 

* * *

 

“Don’t worry, Remy. You don’t have to force me this time,” Logan said, looking down on his watch. After hanging up the call, he smiled to himself. Remy was growing on him. Thinking back, Logan found Remy’s spirit and vibrancy is a little contagious—though not to the level of Patton’s sunshine charm.

He walked back to the bedroom, getting his wallet and keys before heading out of the apartment. He walked with a little bounce in his step—something that he almost never did in the past. He had felt a deep warmth in his chest when he left Patton that evening after their date. Thinking back, they never actually acknowledged that it was a date—they just had fun together. They certainly learned a lot about each other.

If he was going to admit—he wasn’t—Logan didn’t actually want to leave that evening. He wanted to stay with Patton and wrap his soulmate in a protective embrace, shielding him from everything in the world. He wanted to be by Patton’s side, despite the uncomfortable feeling he would get when he spends time with Patton. There were times when he sat on his desk and read Patton’s  _ hour _ note. He would smile to himself re-reading Patton’s round and bubbly handwriting that gave him so much conflicting emotions.

His phone rang again, buzzing inside his pocket. It was Remy,  _ again. _

“Hello. Yes, I am already nearby. Do have some patience, Remy.”

_ “Patience? Darling, I’ve been waiting for seven minutes.  _ Seven _ minutes, girl! That’s,  _ like, _ real outrageous. Be quick or I’ll drag you by your ankle on the damn concrete!” _

“Alright, alright,” Logan said with an amused huff. “Also, if you want to drag me on the concrete, it will only be fair if you allow me to punch you in the gut.”

_ “Oh, guurrrrl! Since when do you have a clever mouth? I thought ya can only be so robotic all the time.” _

“Um, sarcasm comes from the brain, Remy. Something that you might lack.”

_ “Uh… excuse you, ma’am, I skipped a grade in high school. That’s,  _ like, _ a  _ gigantic _ sign that I ain’t stupid. Look, just get yo’ ass over here!” _

Remy hung up the phone call, rolling his eyes. That Logan was really something. Logan, he thought, was a surprisingly interesting fellow. When Remy first saw him, he thought the geek was just another analytical person who knows everything about everything—a polymath of some kind. While he wasn’t wrong, he was definitely mistaken in thinking that Logan was boring. Having a verbal spar with the astronomer was a stimulating activity, however short their debate might be.

He walked to the apartment entrance with Virgil following him silently and went to the elevator. They went up to the floor where the Harveys resided with slow steps. Remy didn’t know what to expect when they meet the twins. Damien had looked rather somber and troubled when they parted ways. It was adorable when he had asked for the hug, but it was apparent that it wasn’t enough for Damien. Remy sighed, pushing his worries to the back of his mind and knocked on the door.

They heard a series of footsteps before the door opened to a disheveled-looking Patton with his glasses askew.

“Oh, geez, didn’t expect you to come—and Virgil’s here, too. Hey, kiddo!” He waved at Virgil who stood hidden behind Remy.

“You, uh, you good, Pat?” Virgil asked awkwardly, pulling at the cuffs of his heavy hoodie.

“Ah, well, I’ve been better.” Patton opened the door wider to let the two guests come inside. “Damien’s in his room. He—I don’t know what happened to him. He wouldn’t talk too much after he went out a few days ago…”

“He went with me,  _ honey. _ It’s okay, I wanna talk to you first.”

“Where’s his room?” Virgil asked, still pulling at his sweater paws.

“Down the hallway,” Patton answered, pointing at the short hallway.

“Door in the corner,” Remy added.

 

* * *

 

Virgil disappeared into the hallway and carefully knocked on the door at the corner. The door opened a fraction, but not more. Seeing it as a welcoming gesture, he pushed the door open and slipped inside. Damien was sitting on the bed with a mess of blanket wrapping around his waist. He looked up and his expression shifted to surprise before going to its neutral state.

“I thought you were Remy.”

“Oh,” Virgil halted his steps. “Sorry, I—do you want me to get him?”

“No—wait, I don’t mean to—” Damien sighed, unable to find his words. “Just come in.”

Virgil moved farther into the room and stood by the bed, wasn't daring to even touch the bed. He looked up to Damien again who was looking down at his own hands.

“How are you?” Virgil let his question hung in the air.

“I’m okay… I guess.” Damien didn’t look up, choosing to pay attention to the sliver of skin hanging on his thumb.

“You guess?” Virgil gave a side smile. “Remy’s been ranting about you. He’s—I think he’s a little worried.”

“Worried?” Damien finally looked up with a slight crease of his brow. “About what?”

Virgil walked around the bed and sat on the floor. “About you. He’s kinda… down, I guess, because he said you were so sad.” Virgil shifted as Damien got up from his bed and sat on the floor in front of him. “He said he didn’t know what to—what to do to make you happy…”

Damien stayed quiet, contemplating what Virgil had said.  _ ‘Why would Remy… why would he be… sad?’ _ He couldn’t understand why Remy would ever think of him that way—that Remy cared enough about him to ever worry. There were things about “having friends” that Damien wasn’t familiar with. He glanced at the door, wondering what Remy was doing outside. He looked back at Virgil who was looking at him with rapid attention. Was Remy worried about his brother, too? Was it weird that he felt somewhat queasy?

“Did he—did he say anything else?” he clumsily mumbled his question.

“Um, he said he wanted to—you know what, just talk to him.” Virgil gave a sly smile—as if he knew something that Damien didn’t. “How are you with him anyway? I mean, you guys are like… soulmates… right?”

“Uuuuhh…” Damien felt warmth rose to his face. “Yeah? But, I mean, I don’t know… I guess we’re pretty okay? I don’t want anything yet right now.”

Virgil smirked at the red tint on Damien’s face. A question was niggling in his thought, begging to come out. Should he ask? Would it be weird or embarrassing? He watched Damien fidgeted with his fingers, occasionally glancing at the door. Virgil shook his head in amusement.

“What is it even like to have a soulmate?”

“Isn’t Roman your soulmate?”

“Uh, yeah, but he hates me so I don’t think it counts. It doesn’t  _ feel _ like I have a soulmate at all.”

“I, um, well I guess you guys should talk. I’m not good at this, but I know you should communicate somehow.” Damien crossed his hands on his lap in thought. “Find your similarities instead of focusing on your differences.”

“How did  _ you _ and Remy find that? Heck, lemme just ask you: do you like Remy?”

“I—” Damien hesitated. Did he like Remy? Sure he did. Remy was a great friend. But from the look Virgil was giving him, he might be referring to something else. “I guess I do… I just don’t know  _ how _ I like him, y’know.”

“You wanna talk to him or something?” Virgil asked, tapping on the floor with his fingers. “You  _ did  _ say communication was important, so…” He gave an innocent side smile, but his eyes glinted with mischief.

“Ugh, whatever.” Damien groaned with a smile, ignoring the faint flutter in his stomach. What  _ did _ he think about Remy?

 

* * *

 

After Virgil went into Damien’s room, Remy looked over at Patton who was cleaning the table half-heartedly. He threw his messenger bag onto the sofa and joined the older man on the table. He plucked the cloth from Patton’s hand without a word and wiped the table clean quickly.

“Remy, you shouldn’t—”

“Nu’uh,  _ girl.  _ Ya clearly didn’t wanna do it,” Remy said, tossing the now-dirty cloth aside. He pulled a chair and sat down, gesturing at the chair for Patton to sit as well. “How you been?”

“I’m honestly feeling okay. I had another date with Logan the other day.”

“Another? How didn’t I know there was another one?”

“Yeah, it was before this whole mess.” Patton gestured vaguely at his surroundings. 

“Hm,  _ honey, _ ” Remy sighed, “I’m sorry.”

“It was great. We learned a lot about each other,” Patton said, looking out the window with thought. “I  _ like _ Logan. He always knows so much about so many things, it’s fun to talk to him. It’s like he has a library hard-drive in his head.”

Just then, there was a knock at the door. Remy let Patton get the door, knowing Logan was likely standing outside with his ever-so-straight posture.  _ ‘Hah! The man himself ain’t even straight.’ _ He smirked at his own thought, ignoring the two people by the door. He looked out the window, seeing a few birds fly by—he couldn’t hear their chirps over the closed windows. There was a glass door near the window, presumably led outside to the balcony. However, he was too lazy to check what’s outside. He turned his back to see Patton came back in with Logan trailing behind him.

“Finally show up, mister Spaceman.”

“Hm, Remy, I think you’re worse than Roman,” Logan said with a raised brow, folding his arms behind his back.

“That’s, like… the  _ best _ thing you’ve said so far.  _ Thank _ you, professor!” Remy said sarcastically. “Now, how ‘bout that deal about dragging your face on concrete.”

“If you’re strong enough to  _ actually  _ drag me, you’re welcome to do it.”

“Guys,” Patton interrupted, turning his hands up in a halting gesture with a smile of mirth. “What’s goin’ on?”

“Logan wanted to punch me!” Remy pointed an accusing finger, eyes flashing with joy behind his sunglasses.

“To be fair,” Logan lifted a hand to his chest, “he wanted to drag me on concrete.”

Patton giggled with glee. The sound of his joy rang in the room, making the other two laughed along—well, Remy did while Logan let out a chuckle. He bumped his shoulder on Logan’s arm and looked up at the taller man with a soft gaze. He loved Logan’s smile. He thought it suited him better than the all-serious look he always wore. Logan returned Patton’s gaze with a small smile and raising his brows in a small gesture of delight.

Unbeknownst to the two, Remy was watching their small interaction from behind his sunglasses.  _ ‘Ey,  _ ochen’ milo.  _ This two need to just hook up or something.’ _ He crossed his arms with a smirk, seeing how long those two would stare at each other before they remembered he was there. It had taken another minute before Remy finally cleared his throat. The pair jumped away from each other and looked at Remy awkwardly, a warm pink coloring their cheeks.

“Geez,” Remy huffed, “you two just get together already.”

Patton giggled while Logan rolled his eyes. Logan dragged a chair and sat down, Patton following a second later. Remy smirked again, satisfied with his handy work of making the two flustered. He rubbed his hands together and leaned back on his chair. There were a few questions he had for Logan and Patton, but those will have to wait.

“Anyways, guys, the  _ hell  _ are we even doing here?” Remy asked again sarcastically. “It’s like we forgot the purpose of this freakin’ visit.”

“Well, I’m here for Patton. So, I  _ didn’t _ forget why I was here.”

“Hm, of course, you’re  _ here for Patton, _ eh?” Remy gave yet another smirk.

“Excuse me! Let’s stop this right here,” Patton said with a pop of confidence in his words. “How ‘bout  _ you _ and my brother, huh?” he said, sounding victorious.

“Uh…” Remy trailed off, feeling uneasy. The nightmares had become more frequent, coming to him every single night. It was to the point where he was too afraid to even sleep. “I dunno. I don’t think I want anything yet…”

Patton propped his head on one of his hands with elbow resting on the table. Did he want something with Logan? Patton was usually so sure of his emotions. But with Logan, he had to step back and see where the pieces are—he had to slow down and think. What exactly he wanted with Logan; he wasn’t sure. It was a nice thought to have something domestic with Logan, but he was thinking ahead of himself. What  _ did _ he feel when he thought of Logan? Logan always made him feel at peace—as if every problem would find its own solutions. He felt eels safe and secure in Logan’s arm, like he could stay there and not let go.

A click was heard from the hallway. Virgil came walking out and sat down with the others. “You, uh, you might wanna check on that one.” Virgil gave his cousin a look, indicating he should go.

Remy, looking confused, got up from his seat and walked towards Damien’s bedroom. Virgil watched Remy’s steps until he retreated down the hallway. He turned back to the two people sitting in front of him. “So, I haven’t seen you guys in ages. How are you, Pat?” He was feeling more confident after his short conversation with Damien.

“I’m great, kiddo.” Patton got up and walked to the kitchen. “Everyone’s been asking me that question lately.” He took out a few bags of chips from the cabinet and three bars of chocolate from the fridge, bringing them to the table. “I… I miss him—my dad. I just, y’know… I don’t know. It feels wrong not to have him anymore. And mom hasn’t even come around. Maybe I should make a visit to her place.”

Logan placed a hand on Patton’s hand, squeezing it lightly in reassurance. He gave Patton a tender gaze which told him that it was alright. He felt words always failed him in emotional instances, so he opted to stay quiet. Logan didn’t actually understand what Patton needed, but he was willing to try to help however small it might be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! I was cooped up in the hospital last week, so this update came a little late. Hope you didn't mind. I honestly feel a little iffy on this one, so please tell me your opinions (both good and bad). I really need your feedback so I can improve myself. Anyways, hope you had a good read and see you in the next one!  
> \---  
> Russian stuff (tell me if I made any mistakes!):
> 
> очень мило.  
> ochen' milo.  
> [very cute.]


	36. Critical Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton and Damien were starting to feel better.  
> Remy and Damien had an interesting discussion; so did Patton and Logan. Questions were asked, not all were answered.  
> Virgil was left out.  
> And Roman? He had his own thing.

Damien was pacing in his bedroom, mind unable to settle on a single thought—everything was jumbled, clashing with one another. In the past few days, he had been thinking about his parents—how his dad was no longer there and his mom was putting herself in isolation. On the other hand, he had _friends._ He hadn’t seen much of Virgil or Roman, but he had Patton by his side and now _maybe_ Remy, too.

He continued to pace around the room, unaware that someone was standing by the door. He hadn’t told Patton that he’d tried to contact their mother. His attempts came up empty, of course, though he couldn’t help but think that perhaps he could try to drive her out of her sorrow. He didn’t want to force his presence on his mom, but he wasn’t certain what else he could do. Slowing his pace, he walked over to the window, looking out into the city. It was sunny outside and the trees looked green with life—nothing like the turmoil in his head.

Sighing, he propped his head on the window. His breath fogged up the glass, making it turn a blurry white. There were too many things going on simultaneously. How did Patton do it with so much ease? And Remy… Remy had been somewhat _different_ —he didn’t have any other word to describe it. Remy had been a lot less dramatic around him and he often looked spent and exhausted. He admitted to himself that he liked the sassy and dramatic side his soulmate had—just like how he was before the devastating loss of his father. Granted they weren’t familiar with each other before, but he thought it would be fun to get back into their flirty interactions.

Turning back, he finally saw Remy standing by the door. He was leaning casually on the door frame with sunglasses concealing his eyes—as usual. Damien sighed, crossing his arms and giving Remy a questioning look.

“How long have you been there?”

“Oh, I dunno,” Remy said, stepping into the room. “Since you walked around the room like a _madman,_ walk to the window with this _really_ depressing face, and then you _oh-so-dramatically_ turned around and saw me, so… I’ve been here for _like_ a year, _babe._ ”

Damien rolled his eyes and walked closer, poking Remy in the stomach in feigned annoyance. “Do you _have_ to be so _annoying_ all the time?”

“Hm, _milashka,_ I’m not annoying. I prefer calling myself interesting.” Remy placed one hand on his hip, giving Damien a coy smile. “Don’t _you_ agree, _moy milyy?_ ”

“Do I?” Damien returned Remy’s smile with a press of his lips, making it appear a thin line across his face. “I find you more sassy—like, _really_ sassy—and you’re _kinda_ sarcastic.”

“You forgot to include the fact that you _like_ my hugs.”

Damien went rigid, repeating what Remy said in his head. He _didn’t_ genuinely like Remy’s hugs, did he? He merely sought comfort in the only way he could. He much preferred to limit any physical contact—unless it was with Patton, but that’s beside the point. He tightened the cross of his arms, as if hugging himself. Why did Remy’s statement even got into his head? It was _just_ a hug, after all. He didn’t have to think about it too much, yet his mind kept reflecting the thought over and over.

“No, I don’t.” Damien arched his brows.

“Okay, fine, _whatever._ Anyway, Virge told me to come in here. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. It was stupid.”

Remy furrowed his brows. He had pretended as though he didn’t notice Damien’s distressed look when he entered the room. He didn’t want to interrupt whatever thought Damien was having, so he stayed quiet. Now it was evident he was avoiding something—and it made Remy felt troubled. He lifted his sunglasses to perch on his head.

“Damien,” Remy said in a stern voice, catching Damien off-guard. He walked closer, placing both hands on Damien’s shoulder, effectively forcing him to pay attention. “Please, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Damien said scarcely above a whisper. Gone was the lively mood earlier.

Remy let out a gentle sigh. “Is it—is it too much? I’m sorry I care.”

“Look, I’m not the only one with problems. How about you?” Damien raised his voice with an accusing tone. “You’re hiding something, too. You always look so tired, and you wouldn’t tell me anything. So why would I tell you anything?”

“We were talking about you, not me,” Remy replied firmly, maintaining a calm composure. “What do you even _want_ to know about me? What stuff do you even think I’m hiding?”

Damien wrenched himself away, irritation simmering in the pit of his stomach. Why couldn’t the world just _stop_ for a second and give him some time? He needed to accept the fact that he’ll never see his dad ever again. He needed to know if his mom was okay or if his brother was dealing. He wanted to tell Remy everything, but something in his head told him not to—and he didn’t know why. Everything seemed wrong. It was easier to pretend and lie that everything was perfectly smooth.

“You haven’t been sleeping, have you, Rem?” Damien asked with a steady tone, stepping closer.

“No, but it doesn’t matter.” Remy kept his calm facade, but the siren in his head was screaming. This was getting extremely close. He didn’t need to explain he had night terrors from his past. Damien _didn’t need to know_ about Varden.

“You’ve been asking me how I’ve been; taking care of me and my brother. Don’t you think it’s time for me to do the same for you?”

Remy stayed unresponsive. He had imagined what it would be like to have a positive, healthy relationship. After he got together with Varden, that ex of his had forced all his friends away. He’d seen how his parents were happy with each other, but he didn’t know what it was like to _be_ happy with a partner. Every time he tried to make Varden happy, _something_ inevitably went awry. He felt the need to dedicate his every being for _him,_ because it was the only friendship—or any kind of relationship, for that matter—he had. He couldn’t lose Varden. It was only when the pain became unbearable did he see how wrong it was—and even then, he didn’t recognize it by himself.

It felt wrong that Damien was trying to… what _was_ Damien trying to do? _Help_ him? It was such a foreign thing for someone to aid him in any way. He was always that one independent person in the room. He couldn’t think properly with his past looming over him and clashing with the present. He stood frozen, not answering Damien’s question—it was meant to be rhetorical anyway, right?

Seeing Remy stood stock-still, Damien did the unthinkable. He moved closer and wrapped his arms around Remy, making the younger sucked in a harsh breath. In the past, Patton’s hugs always calmed him down and he could think clearly afterwards. It was the only thing he could think of that could help Remy. His mom had repeatedly told him when he was younger that _“you’re not very good with people.”_ He pretended the awkwardness around them didn’t exist and pulled Remy closer.

“Maybe I do like your hugs,” Damien whispered into Remy’s hair. “Just a little.”

 

* * *

 

“Come here, I wanna show you something.” Patton pulled Logan into the balcony, pushing the sliding glass door closed once they were outside. They ignored Virgil who chose to occupy himself with his phone. They could see one corner of the campus from the balcony—the lush green of the field across the grounds. On the other side was the city park with its lake in the middle. Patton had always liked that lake even though he didn’t go there frequently. The sky was perfectly blue with thin tufts of cloud decorating the expansive space.

“What is it?” Logan asked, choosing to entertain Patton. His bubbly soulmate pointed at the tree that stood next to the apartment building. Looking closer, he could see a small nest. He didn’t recognize too many birds in the city, so this was interesting. “Ah, did you mean the birds nest?”

“Yep!” Patton chirped. “The mama bird would sing in the morning.”

“Did you know there are numerous indigenous birds in Florida? But since we live in the city, we don’t see many of them.”

“Did you know that _you_ sounded like a walking fun-fact generator sometimes?”

“Oh, Roman has been dubbing me Windows eight for years now,” Logan said with a smile. “I told him that I had upgraded to Windows ten.”

Patton let out his trademark giggle that never failed to bring a smile on Logan’s face. He was taken by surprise when Patton suddenly flung his arms around his neck. He promptly caught Patton’s weight, supporting it so they both didn’t fall over. Why did Patton have to do it in the balcony of all places? Didn’t he perceive the danger of falling off heights?

“Everything alright, Patton?” Logan asked with amusement. He leaned his head on Patton’s which sat comfortably on Logan’s shoulder. “You should warn me when you’re giving me your hug attacks.”

“Shush, Logan. I just want to hug you!” Patton huffed an embarrassed laugh, tightening his hold on Logan.

They stayed in each other’s arms, not letting go. Logan surprisingly found it appeasing to be able to share his warmth. The only people he was ever willing to hug was his mother. Though with Patton, everything was so familiar and natural. There was nothing to worry about, and he could simply lose himself.

“Patton,” Logan said hushedly. “What are we?”

“What do you want us to be?” Patton pulled himself away, still with arms slung across Logan’s shoulder. He could feel a tingly feeling crawling up his neck, but Patton ignored it.

“I don’t know… All I know is I’m not ready for—for whatever _this_ is.”

Patton set his head on Logan’s chest, listening to the rhythm of Logan’s steady heartbeat. He looked far into the sky at the speck of cloud in the distant. He was content for the time being to completely lean on Logan for relief. A lot had happened in the past month, and he knew it was time to start moving on. There were things he had yet to do. He would have to move past his grief if he ever wanted to carry on forward. He looked up at Logan and leaned up slowly, giving a small peck on his cheek before letting go completely.

“I don’t want anything yet either. So, that’s okay.”

 

* * *

 

Virgil had been bored with his phone for a while now. When he noticed Logan and Patton on the balcony, he chose to observe them through the glass door. He didn’t care it was most likely creepy and weird to stalk on other people. He smirked when Patton tackled Logan with a hug. Those two were adorable. In Virgil’s mind, they were practically married. It was as though they could understand each other completely. His smirk softened to a faint smile as he saw the two stayed in their embrace. To him, they looked whole and somewhat complete. Virgil couldn’t help the hideous feeling of envy that was creeping up in him.

He turned away, looking down at his hands. The pang of emptiness in his chest was back, stronger than before. It wasn’t fair, Virgil thought, that everyone around him could be happy and have someone to depend on while he was alone. Not that there was anything wrong with being alone, but he wished he had someone to care—and maybe _love_ —and for them to cherish him in return. It was such a wonderful thing to think that he’d have someone to return to every day. Perhaps he was destined for an empty house—not the home that he wished he could have.

His mind flew back to Roman’s _hour_ note. Why did Roman even write a note? He clearly didn’t want to be found or have anything to do with Virgil. Why left a note at all? Some remnants of anger in his chest were beginning to burn back to life. What did he ever do to Roman that he was detested? He stared at his hands, curling them into fists to stop them from shaking out of bitterness. He thought he’d had enough of the world, but he didn’t want to stop living. Yet at the same time, his heart was too heavy to keep on going.

_‘Why am I here? I should have known I’d be left alone. Yes, I wanted to see if my—my friends were okay, but… Why does the world loathe me? Did I do something in my past life that made me feel like everything here is a punishment? Is it so wrong that I just want something to live for? It doesn’t even have to be a person. Why can’t I ever find anything that makes me happy and glad?’_

Letting out a deep breath, he grabbed a bar of chocolate from the table. He ignored the unpleasant burn in his stomach when he saw a glimpse of Patton giving Logan a peck. His phone was no longer able to distract his mind from his thoughts. Soulmate was such a puzzling thing now that Virgil thought more on it. _Clearly_ the universe made mistakes in the past before given the many numbers of failed relationships in the world. Did the universe make another mistake with him and Roman?

 

* * *

 

“It’s… it’s weird, you know. I’d never see him again—my dad. The last time I saw him was a few days before the—the accident. After he—he passed, my mom just went… y’know.” Damien spoke with his arms still around Remy’s rigid form. He hadn’t had the opportunity to talk about his father properly—especially not with his brother since Patton would get overly emotional afterwards. With his mother abandoning them alone, Damien felt like everything was crashing in front of him. Of course, he didn’t forget Patton was grieving just like he was, but Patton still had Logan. It was odd and uncomfortable for him to discuss emotional subjects with Remy. “And I haven’t seen my mom in weeks. I want to see her. And dad, too. I just need a break from everything, but the world won’t _stop._

“And then there’s you.”

“Me?” Remy finally said after his long while of silence. Did he upset Damien? “What did I do?”

“That’s not what I meant. Let’s not pretend like we’re not still so—so _weird_ around each other. I _really_ want to make this right… if you know what I mean.”

Remy twisted himself away. What was Damien trying to do? He wasn’t ready for this. He didn’t think he would _ever_ be prepared. Not after the hell he was in before. He didn’t need another dip into the frigid water of a cold relationship—one where no passion burns. The memories of the blows and hits and kicks came back in a flash, making him shrink away from Damien. No; he didn’t need this—not now anyway.

“You don’t _have_ to make it right,” Remy said, replacing his sunglasses to veil his eyes once again. “It doesn’t have to be anything.”

Damien had been seeing this a lot lately. Remy had become someone so serious without the sassy storm he was more acquainted with. He furrowed his brows, biting his lips in agitation. Maybe he should sort himself out first before he could support Remy with whatever it was his soulmate was hiding. He gave himself a slight nod of _“yes, I can do that.”_

“Can you come here for a sec?” Damien said with a side smile, forgetting the tension that lingered around them.

“Geez, _gurl,_ whaaaat?” Remy drew out his word with a roll of his eyes.

“Just—” Damien gathered Remy into another hug, this one more firm and sure.

“You said you _don’t like_ my hugs!”

“Shut up, Russian dude,” Damien mumbled. “Just let me have this.”

 

* * *

 

He pulled out the bulky and worn brown leather album from its place in the cramped cabinet. It had been sitting inside for the last six years, not touched or seen. He placed it on the floor next to him, ignoring the childish handwriting that posed as the label on the cover—his own handwriting when he was four or five. Opening the album would mean reopening a festering wound that never really healed right. Why did he even opened the old cabinet in the first place? He had the whole afternoon and evening all to himself, might as well do something fun. Well, that’s what he thought earlier, and now he discovered something he didn’t ever want to see.

He looked at the label again—it was written with a red marker, which was his favorite color. He traced the letters delicately, letting the memories of his childhood came one by one in a slow motion of a timeline in his head. It was a perfect childhood if he had to say so himself. Being an only child with an overactive imagination meant that he was always entertained despite being alone. There was always a dragon-witch to slay or a princess to save or a prince to woo. Being heroic was his brand.

He read the label over and over, not digesting its meaning even though he’d read it a thousand times.

_MADRE, PADRE Y ROMAN._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... Logan and Damien finally asked their respective soulmates some interesting questions there. What do you think? Especially with Damien and Remy's tension.
> 
> QotD: What do you think will happen with Patton and Logan? Will they get together quickly or will they take their time? Let me know what you think.
> 
> I hope you found this to be an interesting read. Let me know on anything you think I could improve on. I'm ALWAYS open to critics! That's it from me now, see ya in the next one!  
> \---  
> Russian stuff (let me know if you spot a mistake!):  
> milashka  
> милашка  
> [cutie]
> 
> мой милый  
> Moy milyy  
> [my precious; my dear]  
> \---  
> Spanish stuff (again, point out my mistakes):  
> Madre  
> [mother]
> 
> Padre  
> [father]


	37. Past and Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman opened the album he found. He had to go through some painful memories.  
> At the same time, Virgil is trying to find an answer as to why Roman hated him so much.  
> Logan tried to help.
> 
> Remy and Damien were back to their flirting game, but something wasn't right.

Once again, Roman traced his fingers lightly over the scratchy handwriting. The cabinet he was leaning against had been given to him by his mother when he moved away from home a few years ago. He never bothered opening the cabinet since it was small enough he can move it with ease without having to disassemble it. He hadn’t expected to find anything interesting when he opened the little cupboard out of curiosity. It was mostly empty with some webs of dust decorating the upper corners. There was a brown envelope full of his high school photographs which he ignored in favor of the thick book at the back. He wished he hadn’t touched it.

Something about the album with the hastily made label written in crayon screamed at him for it to be opened, yet he didn’t want to touch it. There were many things he never wanted to revisit; many things he still tried to forget. Though, he remembered what Logan had told him when they were still in their early years of high school. Now, more than ever, Roman wished he could let go of the past.

 

* * *

 

“What’s wrong?” Logan said from atop the bed where he sat with a prim posture, his legs folded in front of him with a pillow on his lap. It wasn’t uncommon Logan would come to the Cascales residence to have a small chat with his best friend. Roman’s mother was like his own aunt to him. The two teens themselves were like brothers to each other. “You seem rather somber today, Roman.”

“Ugh…” Roman groaned. He was sprawled on the thick rug that covered half the floor of the room. He picked on the strands of wool by the side of his head in agitation. “I’m just… he tried talking to me again. He tried picking me up at school. Good thing the teachers were around to see it, so he didn't try anything.”

“Perhaps I should ask your mother to have you move to my school?”

Roman perked up at the suggestion, but immediately deflated. He got up and walked to the bed, flinging himself onto Logan’s side, crushing Logan’s lanky build with his weight. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence that Roman would become overly dramatic and thrust himself onto Logan’s personal space. Although Logan preferred for it not to happen, he let it slide.

“I don’t know, Lo…” Roman sighed, looking down at his hand with a defeated gaze. “I don’t want to make it worse for mom by moving me to another school. Plus, I _just_ moved into that school.”

“Well, what I can tell you now, Roman, is… perhaps you should make peace with your problem.”

“What do you mean?”

“What I meant was, maybe you should try to let go. I wouldn’t know how that works… and I know that your—your father isn’t… the most _kind_ of people, but try to forgive him.”

“ _Forgive_ him? Logan, are you serious?!” Roman stood up and paced around the room, his head hot with anger. “How could I ever have the—the, um—the _lunacy_ to _ever_ forgive that man? He may be my father, but he’s never going to be my dad again. _Never._ ”

“Roman, I know you’re—”

“He did stuff to my mom that was so… so… _monstrous!_ I can’t even…” Tears of frustration and fury were flowing down his cheeks, but he paid it no mind—he didn’t even seem to notice at all. He always saw his mother so meek around his father and thought it was _love._ It was insane of him to ever think so. It had been nearly seven years since his mother finally left the man Roman knew as his father, but the man still tried to reconcile his relationship with his son. It didn’t matter that Roman had shouted at him with harsh rejection, often times with curse words, yet nothing ever drove his father away. “I thought soulmates were supposed to _love_ each other, Lo. I thought they were supposed to protect and care for each other.”

“Roman, have a drink of water.” Logan was suddenly standing in front of him with a bottle of water in hand. Roman calmly took the bottle and downed the entire bottle in one go before wiping his tears with his sleeves, ignoring the tissue Logan offered him. “Sit down.”

Roman sat on the carpet and Logan soon followed. The two best friends sat side-by-side in silence for some time before Logan broke the silence.

“I’m sorry,” he said, reluctantly wrapping Roman’s shoulder with a one-armed hug. “I don’t understand what you’re going through, though logically speaking, by accepting what happened you can move on easily. Of course, you cannot see him in a positive light, but you can try putting him under a neutral one. See him as a stranger instead of a villain.”

Roman nodded, putting his head down on his hands. _‘_ _Esto es una mierda.’_

 

* * *

 

“Hey, where’s lil’ Virge?” Patton peered into the apartment from the balcony, though the sunlight reflected off the glass making it difficult to see what’s inside. Instead, he saw the reflection of himself and Logan standing side-by-side with hands intertwined. Something about it felt _oddly_ right in Patton’s eyes. He pushed the thought aside, trying once again to see inside. “Poor kiddo is left alone. Maybe you should have brought Roman with you, Logie.”

“Did you call me—”

“Let’s go inside. We’ve abandoned the kiddo long enough.”

Patton pulled Logan inside to find Virgil munching on some chocolate bar with an empty gaze. Virgil didn’t seem aware that the two had came back inside until Patton dragged a chair next to him, pulling him from his thoughts. He looked up at Patton and gave a weak side-smile, as if someone had just pulled a string from the corner of his lips. His eyes stayed empty with nothing sparking in those silver eyes. Logan took a seat next to Patton, making much less noise.

“You okay there kiddo? Looks like you were diving deep into something in your mind.”

Virgil stayed quiet, averting his gaze to Logan who was looking at him with serious eyes. Would it be weird to ask questions to Logan? The man seemed to know everything about everything. It would hurt to ask a small question, right? _‘What if he judges me? Ah, who cares, no one likes me anyway. What damage does a single person have?’_

“Logan, I…” Virgil trailed off, reconsidering his decision before going on. “You’re Roman’s best friend, right?”

“Yes. Any problems?” Logan asked with a gentle voice, as if speaking to a distressed child. “I know he has not been the nicest person to you, so do tell me if you have any problem I can help you with.”

“Well… um, okay. Why—why does he—why does he hate me?” Virgil stuttered his question, watching Logan’s expression shift slowly. “I was just thinking that… uh, like, would it—would it be different if his—his soulmate wasn’t me?”

Logan let out an almost-inaudible sigh, resting his chin on his knuckles. Roman had issues with his past. Logan knew this, but he didn’t know how to help his dear friend. Did Roman genuinely hate Virgil? It seemed unlikely, despite the malice in his voice when he talks about Virgil. There were reasons why Roman might hate Virgil. _‘Not Virgil. Roman doesn’t hate Virgil,’_ Logan corrected himself in his mind. _‘Roman hates soulmates.’_ There were things that he wanted to tell Virgil. That way, the problems and misunderstandings could be easily cleared up. Though, he knew it wasn’t going to help neither Virgil nor Roman in their relationship. He wasn’t sure, of course, whether Roman and Virgil were romantic or platonic soulmates, but either way they still need a strong bond. Otherwise, it would never work.

“I cannot answer that for you, unfortunately.” Logan straightened his posture, folding his hand on the table in front of his chest. “You might need to talk to him about that.”

“Yeah, right. I can’t just go up to the guy and be like _“hey man, why you hate me?”_ you know.” Virgil creased his brows and his face morphed into a severe frown. “I didn’t even do anything to him. I swear. I don’t get it. Why does he have to—to antagonize me? It’s like I’m some kind of villain for him.”

“I think you do need to speak to him, kiddo.” Patton responded gently, putting a gentle hand on Virgil’s forearm. He bit his lip when he saw Virgil’s mood shift. “It would definitely help. And I know, things are… prolly awkward, but you have to…”

“You have to drop your pride.” Logan finished Patton’s words. He took a bar of chocolate from the pile on the table and ripped the wrapper open. He didn’t usually consume sweets, but it was sitting there mocking him. How could he _not_ take at least one? “You _both_ need to drop your ego and _‘hash it out,’_ so to speak.”

Virgil groaned, smacking his head against the table.

 

* * *

 

Roman slid the thick album closer. His fingers linger over the edge of the cover, ready to open it any second yet too afraid to take action. He finally brushed over the cover again and gently opened the fragile album. Immediately, he was greeted with a few lines of writing written in green pen. It was his mother’s handwriting.

 _“Roman just turned two years old yesterday.”_ The words read in Spanish. _“We finally moved after a few times of coaxing for Agustin’s parents to finally let us take our son to the United States.”_

Roman smiled at the neat handwriting. It had been almost a year since he last saw his mom. His parents had brought him to the United States eighteen years prior when he was two years old from Spain. He still sees his four grandparents regularly when he was a child up to when he was seven. It was the year when his mother left his father. Roman didn’t understand at the time, but he learned a few things in the years after.

He continued flipping over the pages until he was greeted with an intriguing photograph. It was of him, laying on his stomach as a baby on the bed. Next to him was his father, looking at him with joyful eyes. He had inherited his bright green eyes from his father. It was the only thing about his father that Roman did not entirely despise. His great height had come from his maternal grandfather, who just like him, had a body built like a tree with broad shoulders and slim waist. His grandfather managed to keep his body fit until he was in his seventies.

Now, seeing the picture of his father, he didn’t feel any anger. There a was a block of ice in his heart, shrouding his heart with its cold wave of sorrow and anguish. He wished his father had been good. He wished to be able to call his father _papá_ instead of _padre._ He wished he could see his family become whole again. He wished he could pretend everything that happened was a bad dream, and he could fly back to when he was a seven-year-old child laying in the garden, listening to his parents laughing instead of hearing them fighting.

He quickly shut the album with a heavy thud and threw it into the cabinet, shutting the door with a loud bang. There were things he knew he wished he didn’t. He detested his father. Even the mention of his name would bring a flickering flame of fury in him to life. _Agustin Cascales._ How he wished he didn’t have his father’s name. Though at the same time, it was the only thing of his father’s that Roman can remember him by. He had tried to forget his father, yet something in him didn’t want to forget.

_‘Think of him as a stranger, not a villain.’_

 

* * *

 

“So, rumor has it I make you nervous?” Damien said confidently, letting go of his hold on Remy. He tried forgetting the tension that twisted around them only moments ago. “That true?”

“Huh, where’d ya heard that, _moy milyy?_ ” Remy seemed to be eager to get rid of the lingering awkwardness as well—though he did try to keep a physical distance between them after he was free of Damien’s hold. If he was going to be honest, Remy found comfort in Damien’s arms, yet he didn’t want any of that. “Isn’t it the opposite?”

“Well, I guess it’s mutual butterflies, then.”

“Hmm… okay…” Remy trailed off with a smirk before coming back with full force. He put a hand on one hip with a look of challenge. “Where can I order a pretty face like yours?”

“I’d say… your mirror?”

Remy groaned, hiding his face that was starting to darken with color. He pressed his lips together to prevent a smile from forming—and failed. He ignored Damien’s chuckle as his smile grew.

“Look, _girl,_ time out. What the heck? I literally have the appeal of a math textbook.”

“Really? Whenever I open a math book, I always say ‘fuck this,’ so…” Damien smirked when he heard Remy let out a high-pitched squeal of embarrassment as he hid his face in his hands, because oh wow that was adorable. _‘Uh, Damien, what the hell?’_ He kicked the thought away as his smirk softened to a genuine smile. He let out a short laugh when he saw Remy looking at him with annoyance. “Okay, okay, sorry.”

“You’re the worst.” Remy rolled his eyes behind his tinted glasses.

It was quiet after Damien’s laughter had died. The silence surrounding them was calm and tranquil—none of the awkwardness earlier seeped through. Damien huffed a short breath and pulled Remy by the sleeves to sit next to him by the window, the patch of sunlight warming the cool apartment bedroom. Damien let out another huff of laughter.

“Why do we do that?”

“Do what?”

“You know…” Damien trailed off, looking up at the ceiling as he leaned backward with his arms supporting the weight of his body. “It’s like we’re always having a… a battle.”

“Dunno, it’s fun.”

“Oh… I’m fun, now? I thought I was the worst?”

“Can you shut up for a second, _babe?_ Like, _don’t_ even say anything right now, I’m _like_ freaking done with you.” Remy rolled his head and moved his hand flamboyantly for emphasis.

“Why do you wear sunglasses all the time?” Damien suddenly asked.

“Um… have you ever seen me look at your ass?”

“Uuuuh…”

“Exactly.”

Damien laughed again. He didn’t understand how Remy could make him laugh so freely. Perhaps not a full rolling-on-the-floor laugh, but it still made him feel better. He ended up laying down on the wooden floor with his hands as cushion. “That was good.”

“Hey, uh…” Remy paused, unsure how to continue. He looked down at his side where Damien was laying flat looking up at the ceiling. “I’m… If—if you want to be… y’know… can we not—can we _like_ not rush?”

“Oh, um… yeah. I mean, I don’t—I don’t want anything either so…”

They turned their gaze away from each other. Damien felt queasy all of a sudden, as if someone was tickling his stomach from the inside. It wasn’t pleasant, though he found he didn’t mind it too much. _‘What did Patton feel when he thought of Logan?’_ Damien thought to himself, trying to ignore Remy’s presence in the room. He thought Remy and him had always had a weird connection. Sometimes they would have their fun, flirty banter. But other times, they become very serious with each other. And sometimes they’re trapped somewhere in between and it became incredibly awkward. He took a deep breath and exhaling, sitting back up before finally standing up.

“Gonna go to the kitchen now.” He told Remy. “Coming?”

“Kay, _gurl._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is a day late! I was occupied with other stuff, I'm sorry.
> 
> There is very little logicality in this one, though you can still see their dynamic. Hope you find the details interesting. It was surprisingly fun to write logicality in the past few chapters. It's kind of a trend in this fic that Logicality is drowned by the other two ships, so I'm trying to balance things out.
> 
> What do you think of Roman's backstory? More about him is going to be revealed, so keep on guessing. Do tell me your theories if you have any.
> 
> That's it for now. See ya in the next one!  
> \---  
> Russian stuff (tell me if I made mistakes, please):
> 
> мой милый  
> Moy milyy  
> [my precious; my dear]  
> \---  
> Spanish stuff (same goes for this one):
> 
> Esto es una mierda  
> [This is bullshit.]


	38. Some News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman's play-writing contest was announced.  
> The twins got an exciting news.

“It’s today…” Roman whispered to himself with slight concern. “Oh… holy crap, it’s today.”

The big day. Well, okay, to Roman it _was_ a big day. The winner of the play-writing contest was going to be announced. It was supposed to be announced in classes next Monday, but it was posted on the bulletin board instead. Roman didn’t know why they did that, but presumably because it would be too much work for the professors to read the same announcement over and over in the numerous classes they taught. He hoped his was going to place a prize. He’d be able to have the university sponsor him and it could perhaps be his first stepping stone towards his dream.

He rushed past the cluster of students in front of the board, pushing people aside to have a chance to take a look at the announcement. It was an ordinary paper with a table listing the top twenty winners and their play ideas on the next column. Roman traced his finger up and down the paper, trying to find his name.

“There it is!” He whispered to himself quietly in excitement. Number nine… He was the ninth… What a disappointment. The university won’t sponsor him, then. He’ll fail. He couldn’t help but think what he could have done better. Roman walked away solemnly, repeating the thought in his head over and over. _‘What a failure. You won’t have a good future. Even in a small-scale competition like this you failed, how could you ever compete in the real world? Pathetic, you are.’_ He held a tight, white-knuckled grip on the hem of his t-shirt while his other hand fiddled distractedly with his backpack strap.

He kept walking, the tap of his shoes silenced by the wet pavement. It rained the previous night, making the sky look a pale blue and the air to be heavy. It was supposed to be a good day. He walked with no destination in mind. He thought if he could get far enough away from the damned announcement paper he could get rid of the foul thoughts in his head. His steps were interrupted when his shoulder brushed against another student’s harshly, knocking their bag off of their shoulder. _‘Geez, Roman, you’re a mess. Get a grip!’_ Keeping his head bowed low, he murmured an apology and tried to walk past quickly.

“Oh, Roman?”

“Huh?” Roman looked up, his eyes meeting the other's mismatched eyes. He quickly tailored his expression into a beaming smile as if nothing had happened. “Ah, Damien! Damien, right? If I remember correctly, that is…”

“Uh, yeah.” Damien gave a faint smile. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Um, right. Your, uh—I’m sorry for your loss. Condolences.” Roman uttered quickly, cursing himself for his jumbled words. He did, however, manage to maintain a smile sitting on his lips. He prided himself for being a brilliant actor after all. “I forgot we went to the same university. I think Logan mentioned it once.”

“Speaking of Logan, has he been doing the same thing as Patton recently?”

“Doing what exactly? Do I smell _romance_ in here?” Roman flashed a genuine excited smile. _Logan_ —the I-am-a-very-serious-person Logan—is dwelling in romance and—oh holy mother of god— _feelings?_

“Yeaaa… Patton’s been geeking out about Logan. He’s _so_ obviously _not_ into Logan. Like, _at all._ ” Damien slowly fell into step with Roman as they continued walking down the pavement path. Damien fixed his beanie and slung his backpack onto his shoulder.

“Logan hasn’t said anything about Patton.” Roman tried to remember the topic of his last conversation with his nerdy friend. “Wait, he might have actually said something… Quite a lot, actually.”

 

* * *

 

“I met Virgil earlier this afternoon.” Logan dropped his wallet on the table, walking past Roman who was sitting on the grey couch of Logan’s apartment. The two routinely visited each other’s apartment every Tuesday, and the tradition had been going on for almost two years. Why every Tuesday? Because it was the only day of the week when both of them were free. “He might have… expressed a few concerns.”

“Not that I care, but… do these _concerns_ have anything to do with me?”

“If not, would I mention it to you?”

“I swear I didn’t do anything this time!” Roman almost shouted defensively. “That emo kid needs to stop messing with me and just mind his own business.”

Logan heaved a heavy sigh and sat down next to Roman on the couch. How should he handle this? Right now, it seemed that neither Virgil nor Roman wanted to compromise. If only he could tell Roman everything that Virgil told him the other day. He rubbed his hands together in a steady circular motion while his best friend stared at the wall with a slight crease on his forehead. He knew he needed to make Roman and Virgil understand their situation without having to spell it out for them. But how?

“Roman, I do not understand why it is so difficult for you to have a civil conversation with Virgil. He is clearly trying, so I suggest you open up a little. It really isn’t like you to close yourself like this, Roman.”

“Of course you wouldn’t understand. Patton’s such an easy guy to talk to, unlike Virgil, you know,” Roman said, pulling at the hem of his shirt. “Patton is like an angel and Virgil is the embodiment of a nightmare.”

“Well… Patton is… You are right, I suppose. About Patton, that is. I don't quite understand him, but I do not mind it. I don’t mind having to find out more about him if I have to. And while I haven’t known him for too long, I don’t mind him like most people.”

“Hey, Lo… I thought we were talking about me?” Roman smirked in amusement. This had happened more often, he noticed. Logan would lose track of whatever it was they were talking about, and it always lands on the same topic every single time. “Not that I mind anyway. What do you think will happen to you and Patton?”

“I, uh, am unsure.” Logan hesitated, not quite sure what answer he should give to Roman’s question. “I suppose we’ll take our time. Personally, I’m not sure if we are supposed to be platonic or romantic soulmates, but Patton seems quite sure. Or maybe I made the wrong assumption.”

Roman raised his eyebrows slowly, his eyes widening. He looked over at Logan who was staring distractedly at the ceiling, as if there was a puzzle he was supposed to solve up there. What’s Logan implying here? Maybe he should invite Patton to some impromptu hangout sometimes, with just the two of them. Still, Roman couldn’t imagine Logan with Patton in _that_ way. Logan had always been so sure that he was content with being alone that Roman never even thought of seeing his friend with someone, let alone someone like Patton. However, he never back down from getting a chance to witness a wonderful romance take shape.

There were things Logan mentioned that Roman understood to be true. Yes, he needed to see eye-to-eye with the emo nightmare and maybe accept that he _did,_ in fact, have a soulmate. Why did it have to be this way? The universe must have known that Roman didn’t want anything to do with any of this soulmate business. So why did it even decide he needed a soulmate? Whoever ran the algorithm of the universe needed a tough punch to the jaw.

“Patton, well, he’s very vibrant as you might already know. He is doing better now after his father’s passing. He seemed to be quite well the last time I saw him. The first time Remy and I came for a visit, Patton and Damien had looked almost… lifeless.” Logan paused, thinking back to the day he first paid the twins a visit. It was unsettling to see someone who’s usually so bouncy and bubbly like Patton to literally stop functioning. “Don’t you think it’s unfortunate for anyone to have me as a soulmate? Romantic or otherwise.”

“Logan… what are you even talking about? We both would have thought that _I_ would be better at this thing, but look at us now. My soulmate hates me, while you and your soulmate are practically married.” Roman stopped, trying to make sense of the string of sentence he just uttered. “Well, not married, but you get what I mean.”

“Finally,” Logan said with a satisfied smirk as he glanced over at Roman with a smug look.

“What?” Confusion took over Roman’s mind. What’s happening again?

“You finally admitted that you had a soulmate. You always refuse to acknowledge you even have one.”

“What, no!” Roman crossed his arms defensively and furrowing his brows. “I didn’t admit anything.”

“Sure you did. Didn’t you hear what you had just said before?” Logan gave Roman another smug smile as he saw the frown that was forming in his friend’s face. He knew not to worry when Roman’s pride is wounded, be it from losing an argument or making a mistake. “I know that face, Roman.”

“Oh, come on!” Roman exclaimed, throwing a pillow at Logan who quickly ducked and swerved as an army of more pillows attacked him.

 

* * *

 

“Did Logan seriously say all that?” Damien said with a skeptical look. He didn’t take Logan as someone who cared much for emotional details and empathy. “If it’s true, then I might have a plan.”

Roman looked down at Damien who was biting his cheek with a hand holding the strap of his backpack. What kind of plan was Damien talking about? He gave the older a questioning look, silently urging him to reveal more.

“Well, I thought it would be fun to play matchmaking with those two.”

“ _Ah, vale…_ ” Roman said with a playful grin. “Sure thing, _compa_ _ñero._ I’m _so_ in. What are we gonna do?”

“Honestly, don’t know. But we’ll figure that out.” The two continued walking down the pavement path until they were out of the campus ground. The street was busy with cars honking and pedestrians walking in a rush. “Wanna come along? I’m supposed to meet Patton in the coffee shop now.”

“Okay,” Roman gave a short response. “How are you, by the way? Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“I’m okay,” Damien answered briefly, not too keen on explaining everything. Roman was practically a stranger to him despite Roman’s somewhat-close relationship with his brother. He didn’t feel the need to tell Roman anything. “Patton and Remy have been kinda helpful.”

“Oh, right, Remy…”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. Just that you guys kinda flirted a lot the last time I saw you both together.”

“It’s called having fun, pal.”

After another few minutes, the two finally arrived in the coffee shop. Roman, ever the gentleman, held the door open for Damien. They spotted Patton sitting at one of the booths by the window. What they did not expect was for Virgil to be sitting next to Patton. Damien walked to the table and plopped himself right across his brother, flinging his backpack to the side where it fell to the floor.

“Sup, Virgil. Roman’s over there.” Damien pointed to Roman’s general direction. Roman slowly approached the table and dropped his bag on the seat across from Virgil, but he didn’t sit. He scanned the room, looking for something. “Roman, what are you doing?”

“Well, if there’s Virgil, usually there’s…” Roman trailed off before his eyes spotted what—or rather, who—he was looking for. He waved his hand in greeting before sitting down. “Ah, there you go. See, I wasn’t wrong.”

“Ey, _gurls!_ ” Remy came sauntering with a small plate of cookies. “Roman! Did’cha see the announcement in campus, _hun?_ I saw it and honestly, not bad, _sugar!_ ”

“Yes, it is! They’re not gonna sponsor me now…”

“What’s this about?” Patton chimed into the conversation. He took the plate from Remy’s hand and took a cookie for himself, offering one for Virgil who quietly refused. “What sponsor?”

“The university had a play-writing contest. The first winner will be sponsored by the university to be made into a _real_ original play. I tried and got ninth place.” Roman spoke quickly, not wanting to get into too much detail at the moment. He had tried his hardest, and he still couldn’t be the best. What a shame. “Let’s not talk about that now.”

“Why not?!” Patton almost shouted. “I wanna read it! It must be really good if you got ninth place, Ro. What is it about?”

“Uh, I don’t know, Pat…”

“Geez, you guys…” Virgil, who had been quiet the whole time, leaned back on his seat. “It’s a Rapunzel retelling. The witch is protecting Rapunzel—or the character equivalent to Rapunzel at least—from the king, cus’ he wanted to kill her.”

Before Roman was able to comment about what Virgil said, the ringing of a phone was heard. Patton reached inside his pocket, taking out the ringing phone. When he saw the caller identification, he froze. His eyes were blown wide, looking over to his brother, still in a haze of shock.

“What?” Damien asked urgently before Patton passed his phone over.

He stood up and dragged Patton away from the others, silently telling them to wait. They stood in one corner of the room where they looked at each other in anticipation before Damien finally answered the phone. The twins had been waiting for this phone call for over a month and they didn’t know what to expect.

“Mom?” Patton said faintly, almost whispering, afraid that the slightest noise would scare his mother away.

 _“Hello, dear?”_ Lily’s voice was heard through the phone. It sounded as if she had been coughing a lot. _“Is your brother there, too?”_

Patton clutched his face to prevent a squeal from escaping his throat. He shook Damien’s shoulder harshly while Damien himself looked as though he had become a statue. They missed that voice; their mother’s comforting and warm voice that could always reassure them every moment of distress and hopelessness. Patton felt the overwhelming urge to crawl into the phone and give his mother a big hug—but even _he_ knew that it was impossible.

“Uh, y-yeah, mom. I’m here,” Damien answered Lily’s question, ignoring the crack of his voice.

_“How are you both doing?”_

“We’re fine, mom. How are you? You just—we haven’t heard from you for so long. Are you okay?” Patton said frantically while his brother held his hand tightly.

 _“Oh, I’m doing better now,”_ Lily said, sounding a little relieved. There were many things she wanted to say but couldn’t. She needed to prepare her boys. She had not known a loss so big that it felt as though she was being ripped apart and put back together by some unknown force only to be ripped apart again. _“I want you to come over tomorrow if that’s okay with—”_

“Yes! We’ll come. We promise, mom,” Damien interrupted, trying to reassure his mother as quick as he possibly could. It was quite a wonder he could stay calm considering the thundering heartbeat in his chest. “We’ll bring anything you need. What do you want us to bring?”

 _“It’s alright, dear. Just bring yourselves. Oh, maybe you should bring your friends over, too.”_ Lily hoped her boys knew what she meant. She had wanted to see Logan and Remy again. She needed to talk with them. Not out of protectiveness; she only wanted to tell them what she thought they needed to know. _“Do bring your soulmates. They seem like lovely people.”_

“Okay,” Patton gripped Damien’s hand tighter, though his brother didn’t seem to be bothered. “Promise. Promise, promise a thousand times.”

Lily let out a small huff of amusement. _“Alright, I need to go now, okay. Tomorrow at two. Don’t forget. If you have class, you have my permission to skip it.”_

And with that, the call ended. The twins were left standing in the corner of the room with blank faces. Damien, still with a blank expression took Patton’s hand and led him back to the table. Roman and Virgil were looking at them with confusion while Remy was paying attention with a flash of concern in his eyes.

“Everything good, _moy milyy?_ ” Remy asked when the twins stood by the table unmoving.

“Did that really just happen?” Damien asked his brother, ignoring Remy’s question. “Or did I imagine that whole thing?”

“I might explode…” Patton murmured, finally letting go of Damien’s hand. In an instant, his face morphed into a bright grin, so bright it rivaled the sun. “Oh my god… Oh my god! Dee! Oh my god, she’s alright!” He placed both his hands on Damien’s shoulder and shook his brother violently in excitement, causing Damien’s head to flop around uncontrollably.

“O-o-kay… Calm down, Pat.” Damien himself couldn’t help the smile that crept its way onto his face. “Tomorrow… two p.m… You need to call Logan.”

As Patton walked a little off to the side, Damien sat down again on his seat next to Roman. “You’re all coming with me tomorrow,” Damien told them. “Virgil, Roman, you don’t have to come, but you better get your ass with me _if you can._ ”

“And Remy?” Virgil asked blankly.

“Well,” Damien glanced across his seat where Remy sat, still with a concerned gaze, “ _you_ have to come with me no matter what. And before you say anything, mom is the one who asked you to come.”

“Wait, that was your mom? _Guuurrrrrl,_ what?!”

“I know,” Damien said calmly with joy in his mismatched eyes.

“I thought she went—”

“I know!”

“I am… _so_ lost right now,” Roman looked at Damien and Remy alternately, hoping one of them would explain.

“Oh, wait yeah, you guys don’t know,” Damien said in realization. “Just… Remy, tell them. Not too much, though.”

“Aight, so—” Remy started before he was interrupted.

“Do try to not be so loud. Your loudness is _so not_ gonna rupture someone’s eardrum one day.” Damien leaned his head down on the table in a sudden rush of relief. He let out an inaudible chuckle when he saw Remy’s offended expression. “Also, try not waving your hands like a maniac. You’re gonna chop someone’s head off.”

“It’s gonna be your head, _‘suka!_ ”

Virgil, who had been relatively quiet, burst into laughter. Virgil himself didn’t know what he found funny, but he felt the need to laugh. He hadn’t expect Remy to so quickly retorted Damien’s snarky comment with his feisty tongue. Virgil clutched his stomach, doubling over in his seat. Remy looked at him with confusion while Damien and Roman looked at him with surprise and astonishment respectively. “This should be like a daily thing. Like, you two—” he pointed at Remy and Damien— “should like record your conversations.”

“I really didn’t know you could laugh,” Roman squinted, not sure of what to think. He thought Virgil was only capable of anger and all-things-angsty, but it seemed he was mistaken.

“Wait, what’s so funny?” Damien asked, directing his question to Remy and a still-snickering Virgil.

“Remy just—” Virgil huffed another laughter before slowly composing himself. “He called you _‘suka._ ”

“What’s that?”

“It means—”

“Don’t spoil the fun, _brateyek,_ ” Remy shushed his cousin with a smirk.

“Uuuuhhh…” Virgil let out a long sigh after a few moments. “I think we strayed away from the topic there.”

“Right, what was it? Oh, Day’s mom.”

Remy started his brief explanation all the while Damien pulled his beanie off and pulled on the loose strings. He flashed a small smile at Damien when their eyes met. He’d need to ask Damien a few things later, but for now he’ll enjoy the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! So, after three weeks of absence, here I am with another chapter. Sorry for this massive delay. I had two weeks of exams and I had to do a university entrance exam the following weekend after school exam. It was exhausting. But now I'm back! The language in this chapter isn't as good as the other ones, so I might do some editing later. Though I hope it's still a nice read. Please, please, leave me some feedback if you have any.
> 
> What do you think will happen to the twins? Also, what do you notice about Roman and Virgil throughout this and last chapter?
> 
> Do let me know if you think there's anything I could fix. Hope you come back for more on Sunday. See ya in the next one!  
> \---  
> Russian stuff:  
> мой милый  
> Moy milyy  
> [my precious; my dear]
> 
> сука  
> suka  
> [bitch]
> 
> Brateyek  
> Братик  
> [brother (in diminutive form)]  
> \---  
> Spanish stuff (keep in mind that I use the traditional Spanish, not the Latin-American Spanish):  
> Ah, vale  
> [Oh, I see}
> 
> compañero  
> [buddy; pal]


	39. Unplanned Events

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan received an unexpected visit.  
> Virgil surprised everyone with his storytelling, especially Roman.

“Hiya, Logan!” Patton said enthusiastically over the phone, the smile apparent in his voice. He could barely contain his excitement and relief. “Do you have time? I need to tell you something.”

 

* * *

 

Logan had been having a delightfully peaceful afternoon that day. He had brewed a cup of black coffee—no sugar, as all coffee should be—after class and was planning to enjoy a calm and orderly rest of the day. That was, until the bell to his apartment rang. Setting his cup of coffee on the coffee table in the tiny living room, he walked to the door. When he opened the door, a tiny human greeted him.

“Uncle Logan!” the little girl shouted and jumped excitedly. Logan could only stare at her in disbelief, blinking rapidly a few times.

“Bree. What is… happening?” Logan looked up to the girl’s mother who was standing behind her. The little girl had shoved her way past Logan and made herself at home in his apartment. He could hear excited giggles coming from the living room. Logan could only close his eyes in defeat and took a deep breath, hoping his little niece had not broken anything. “Is everything alright?”

“Yep—Wait, what am I talking about? No! Everything is _not_ alright.” Bree followed her daughter into the apartment. “Locke and I have to go on a business trip for four days. We couldn’t afford a babysitter, and you’re my only relative in this city, so—”

“Hence, you require me to babysit Faye for you,” Logan interrupted his cousin, releasing a deep breath. He looked over to the living room where his niece had helped herself to turn on the TV. As he heard the sound of cartoons playing, Logan dragged a hand down his face. This was going to be a disaster. “Bree, I would love to help you, but you do realize I have classes, correct?”

“I know, but I can’t possibly bring her to—it’s a business thing, Logan. I can’t bring her along.” Bree stepped closer, desperately trying to make Logan understand her. “Logan, look, I’m sorry. I’ll pay you, I promise.”

“I… do not want your money.” Logan furrowed his brows in confusion. He knew Bree to be someone who was always calm and collected, much like himself—though perhaps not as stiff as he was. It was a surprise to see her a little frantic and her hair was a little messy.

“I wasn’t talking about money,” Bree said, arching her brows with a knowing look. Logan looked down on her, finding her a little intimidating despite the massive height difference. “Come on, Logan. The whole world knows you love Crofter’s to death. If you would take care of my daughter for the next four days, I will give you a month’s worth of jam.”

“You—are you trying to bribe me with fruit spread?”

“Is it working?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“Ha!” Bree jabbed a finger at Logan, “I win!”

“Well, screw you, too.”

“Oh, wait. Did you seriously just say that?” Bree laughed, covering her mouth as she continued to cackle. “When was the last time you say things like that? Must have been when you were sixteen.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Logan acted as though he never said a single thing. He looked over at his niece and back at Bree. Only now did Logan realized the teal bag that she was holding in her hand. “What do I need to know before you leave?”

“Okay. She’s allergic to shrimp, so avoid that at all cost or else she can’t breathe. There are eight juice boxes in here, give her two every day. Don’t let her watch cartoons all the time or else she wouldn’t do anything else. She’s fairly quiet unless she’s bored, so try to entertain her with something other than television or games or something like that. Wash her hair every two days. And she needs to sleep before ten at night.” Bree said quickly, noting what she needed to say with her fingers and handing the bag over to Logan. “I’ll pick her up late on Sunday. Please, keep her alive or else I’ll launch you off the window.”

“Alright. Do not worry, it’s not going to be too difficult.”

“Well, best of luck.” And with that, Bree excused herself after giving her daughter an affectionate kiss on the forehead.

Logan shut the door behind him with the bag still in his hand. Faye was running around the living room now, abandoning the television and the world of cartoons. He walked into the living room again, taking a sip of his still-warm cup of coffee and putting the bag down on the couch. Little Faye was still running around, giggling at nothing. He then stood up, walking closer to his niece. When she ran past him, he snatched her by the waist and hoist her up above his head. The five-year-old squealed and laughed merrily.

Logan chuckled. He set her to sit on his shoulders and jogged around the room, making her laugh some more. Faye held on tightly to Logan’s neck, afraid of falling and loving the height at the same time.

“Put me down!” Faye giggled.

“What would you like to do? Did you manage to burn off your energy just now?” Logan asked her after putting her back down on the couch. He sat next to her, opening the bag that Bree had given him. “I have a juice box for you.”

“Ew! You talk so weird!”

“It’s not incredibly kind to insult my way of speaking, little one.” Logan smiled at Faye’s giggles. It was incredibly easy to make his niece laugh, Logan realized.

“Mom told me you have a soulmate,” Faye said after her giggling subsided. She crawled on the couch over to Logan and plopped herself on his lap. “What’s a soulmate? Who’s your soulmate? Why do we have soulmates? Do I have a soulmate? Oh, who telled you who your soulmate is?”

“It’s _told,_ not _telled,_ ” Logan corrected. He smiled at the barrage of questions Faye threw at him. “Alright, first question; my soulmate’s name is Patton. He is going to be a vet someday—or so he informed me—and I think you would like him.

“I do not know why we have soulmates, but I think I don’t mind having a soulmate. Do you have a soulmate? Well, Faye, let’s see. Most people will have _the hour_ when they turn nineteen. Some others have it when they are older if their soulmates are younger than them. I do not know if you will have a soulmate or not. Though even if you don’t, that is fine, too.

“Last question; who told me who my soulmate is? Well, during your _hour,_ you will exchange bodies with your soulmate for an hour.  I suppose that’s why it is termed _the hour._ That is how I know who my soulmate is.”

“I don’t know what you just said!” Faye grinned at Logan’s straight, dead-panned face. “Do you like your soulmate?”

Logan pondered on the question for a minute. This was not the first time anyone asked him this question. The only thing he did not expect was for a five-year-old child to ask him that question. He never would have thought how intuitive his niece was. Logan always thought that Patton was a little too spontaneous at times while Logan himself preferred to know what to expect. Patton always seems excited and interested in everything, and he was much more intelligent than he let anyone think. Patton was not the airhead everyone think. He never seemed to stop smiling or giggling about something; always finding a way to be happy and upbeat.

Logan thought he could never be as optimistic as Patton. He much preferred to be a realist than an optimist, though he could see the appeal of seeing the bright side of things. That way, the world wouldn’t seem so bleak. Is that how Patton sees the world? Patton always appreciates the smallest, little things, like the smell of rain or the taste of ice cream. Logan didn’t understand, but for once in his life he didn’t care that he didn’t understand. There was always a sense of relief that flooded his chest every time he saw that Patton was happy.

“I think I do,” Logan answered Faye’s question. “Patton is an excellent company.”

“Do you love him? Like how dad loves mom?”

“No. I don’t think so.”

Before Faye could ask any more questions, Logan felt a buzz in his pocket. He shouldn’t have set his phone on vibrate. There weren’t many people who often call Logan other than his mother and Roman, perhaps. So, when he saw it was Patton, he hoped nothing unfortunate happened.

 _“Hiya, Logan! Do you have time? I need to tell you something!”_ Patton’s energetic voice was heard through the phone. Faye was laughing again, pulling at the hem of Logan’s shirt. _“Is that—Logan is that giggling?”_

 

* * *

 

Patton laughed through the phone after hearing a small giggle from the other side. He looked over at his brother, and who was looking at Virgil with confusion. Virgil was doubling over, probably laughing over something one of the others had said. His grin widened when he saw his brother laugh along with the others. It had been a while since he saw his brother so content. Damien wasn’t usually one for socialization or friends. Growing up, Damien was always on the sidelines, observing everything happen instead of participating in social activities. Maybe that was why he knew everything about everyone without getting into much school drama.

_“I have my niece with me, Patton. Anything I could help you with?”_

“You have a niece?! Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Patton asked with wide eyes. “I love children!”

 _“Um, well, I think you will like Faye. Anyways, why did you call?”_ Logan tried to steer the conversation back to the topic before it strayed too far.

“My mom called. She wanted you to come with me to visit her tomorrow. Knowing her, she prolly wants to do something. I don’t know what, though.”

_“Patton… I am very sorry to say I might not be able to come. I have to look after my niece until Sunday. I don’t think I am able to attend classes as well.”_

“Logan!” Patton gasped, trying not to burst with eager exclamations. “You can bring her to visit mom! I’ll help you babysit her, and my mom would really love her!”

After a few more minutes of debate over the phone, Patton was finally able to convince Logan that no, it is not a terrible idea to bring his beloved niece to visit Patton’s mom. And yes, it is an absolutely tremendous idea to bring her along and allow Patton take care of the little kiddo. As he walked back to the table, he could still hear Logan’s voice in his head. From the string of laughter he heard through the phone, Logan’s niece would be a delight. He let the thought slip away as he sat next to Remy.

“Hey kiddos, I’m back!”

 

* * *

 

It’s been a while since Damien drive. It must have been a few months ago. All six of them had decided to carpool for their visit to the Harvey’s family home. That way, none of them would be late—as was suggested by Virgil as he glared at his cousin. He and his brother had been buzzing all morning that they couldn’t bring themselves to eat anything. Patton had been walking around the apartment as he typically does when he’s nervous, while Damien had taken a long bath trying to quiet his nerves. A shower was just not enough.

It was noon when the twins finally set out to pick up the rest of their gang. They headed to Roman’s first, the building closest to the twins’ apartment. After that, it was Remy and Virgil. And this was when they encountered a problem. Damien’s car was not very big, only accommodating four people. This was when Remy came up with a crazy plan.

“Day, maybe you should open the trunk, _babe,_ ” Remy said while inspecting his nail absently.

“And do what?” Damien gave Remy a look of confusion.

Remy lowered his sunglasses, revealing his eyes for a split second before placing them back on. “I thought we can hope there are no cops on patrol and I’ll sit in the back with the trunk open.”

“No. Absolutely not.”

“Hey! How about _I_ sit in the trunk? Sounds fun!” Patton interjected the conversation. His glasses caught the sunlight, illuminating his already glowing eyes. “Can I, Dee?”

“And I can sit with Patton!” Remy added.

“Please…” Patton and Remy begged—Patton with his puppy eyes and Remy with the sweetest smile he could muster. And frankly, Damien was weak for _both._

“I—wow, you guys. Virgil, help me!” Damien held his hands up in defence.

“Sorry, dude. You’re dead. But if Patton sits in the back, I’m sitting shotgun,” Virgil answered with a shrug.

Looking back over at his brother, Damien sighed and unlocked the trunk. After everyone was seated inside, he made sure Remy and Patton were safe at the back. He made sure neither of them will attempt anything remotely dangerous and to stay inside until the car fully stops. It felt like briefing two children on how to behave in public and telling them safety protocols on a plane. When everyone was ready, they finally headed to Logan’s apartment.

Patton had not told anyone that Logan will be bringing his niece. So, when a little girl ran towards the car followed by an overwhelmed Logan, Damien couldn’t help but scrunch his face in surprise. Roman was trying to hold his laughter while Remy was clutching his ears, blocking out the sound of Patton’s loud squeal.

Logan gave an absent wave at the two sitting in the trunk and opened the door. The girl slid her way into the car, followed by Logan. Her petite figure fit perfectly to sit between Roman and Logan.

“Didn’t know you have a kid with you, Logan.” Damien said as he drove away.

“I’m Faye!” The little girl shouted with glee, followed by a string of giggles as she moved around the car and plopped herself on Logan’s lap. “Uncle Lo told me we were going to go have fun!”

“I didn’t say that.”

Upon seeing the little girl’s eyes on him, Roman offered her a dazzling smile. “Good afternoon, miss. Pleasure to meet you,” Roman greeted with his usual booming and velvety voice.

Faye eyed Roman wearily, intimidated by his gigantic posture. Even so, she couldn’t help but giggle at Roman’s princely tone. She then turned her attention to the driver. She twisted her way in between of the two front seats and gave Damien a smile. Logan tried pulling her back to her seat, but she wouldn’t budge.

“Hi, kid. What’s up?” Damien spared her a glance before focusing back on the road.

“I like your hat, mister.”

“Yeah? I like it, too. My brother bought it for me long time ago.”

“You have a brother?”

“His name is Patton. He looks like me.”

“I know him! He’s uncle Lo’s soulmate!”

Hearing Faye’s words, Roman and Damien let out a long whistle. Roman nudged his best friend while Damien gave Logan a look from the rear-view mirror. Logan could only groan, blinking his eyes rapidly behind his glasses.

“So, he told you?”

“Yep! He said he liked Patton!”

“I didn’t say that,” Logan clarified, glaring at Roman who once again nudged him. “Not in that way anyway.”

“And who are you, mister?” Faye shifted her attention to the other person on the front seat. Virgil had been quiet the entire time, intimidated by the child. She had the same icy blue eyes and jet-black hair that Logan had. A family trait perhaps?

“I’m Virgil.”

“Your hair is purple! Will mine turn colorful, too, when I grow up? I don’t like my hair. It’s so boring.”

Virgil couldn’t help but chuckle at the little girl’s innocent question. He gave her his full attention, noticing the awkward position she was standing. She had stuck her whole torso to the front of the car. Virgil shook his head slightly and gave her a slight smile.

“How about I tell you a story? Your hair isn’t boring at all in my opinion.” Virgil didn’t know what he was doing. Children aren’t usually partial to him. If anything, most children will be intimidated by his dark make-up and emo get-up. “There’s a reason you have your hair, and I have mine.”

“Woah, cool! Can I sit with you?” Faye pointed at the front seat. Without expecting a reply, she wriggled her way to the front and launched herself onto Virgil’s lap. He could hear Logan repeatedly apologizing from the back seat. “So, why is your hair purple?”

“Well, let’s see.

“Long ago, there was a big clan of warriors. These people were called the Shadows. The Shadows were mighty warriors who defended the people of Artos, a rich kingdom, from a power-hungry witch. The witch was a supreme, immortal being who tried to seize the kingdom for hundreds of years. But, for years neither the Shadows nor the witch ever won. Oh, and she can change herself into a dragon.”

“A dragon-witch!” Faye interrupted.

“Sure, let’s call her that.” Virgil continued his short story. “The Shadows, as I said, were strong. They had thick, black hair and bright blue eyes. Like you and your uncle. Some say the descendants of these people still live today. Maybe you’re one of them.”

“Can I _really_ be one of them?”

“Why not? I’m sure you can be a fierce warrior.”

“But I’m a girl.”

“Well, let me tell you that the Shadows were led by three courageous women. There were Lysandra, the oldest one, and her sisters, Avyanna and Farren. When the army of warriors was taken over by the three sisters, they were finally able to defeat the dragon-witch.” Hearing Faye’s bubbly giggles, Virgil continued on with his story. “My hair is purple, because I’m a mage. I can do magic, but not black magic like the dragon-witch. The mages were not as powerful as the Shadows, but they were feared.”

“What do the mages do?”

“Let me finish my story. The mages were the king’s protector. Artos was a unique kingdom. One decade there will be a king on the throne. The next age will be ruled by a queen. Then, there will be a king again and so on. There were three types of mages. My line of mages was the lightning mages. We control the weather, and we can summon intense storms to defeat enemies. The second line was the water mage. Damien here is one of them.” Virgil glanced at Damien, making sure it was fine for him to use Damien’s name. “Look, his hair is like the ocean, all wavy like that. The water mages are the most powerful of the mages. They can control water, which means they can wield the entire ocean if they want to.”

“What’s the third one?”

“The third one is the fire mages. Roman at the back there, is one. Some of them have red hair, and some have sandy hair like Roman. They can control fire and lava. You know what that means? That means they can control volcanoes. They can summon burning gas from underneath the Earth to conquer enemies.”

Everyone in the car seemed to be enjoying Virgil’s childish story. Logan observed how Faye was silent and attentive, unlike how she was a few minutes ago. He looked over at Roman who seemed to be listening to the story as attentive as Faye. There was a spark of wonder in his eyes that Logan never saw too frequently anymore. Roman’s gaze was locked on the back of Virgil’s head, looking at him _almost_ with awe. Logan chose to look out the window at the passing buildings as the car glide along the busy street of the city.

“Are there other people that are not mages or warriors?”

“Sure there were. Some of the mages became healers and builders. Water mages became healers who usually help ill people and animals. Patton was a water mage like Damien, but he became a healer. Fire mages became builders. They were magical people who manipulated their powers to transform untamed lands. Usually, when the kingdom expanded to an unknown land, the builders were the ones who build the land into cities with their magical powers. It could take days, or sometimes years.”

“Do you have a builder friend?”

“Yep. There’s a guy in the back. His name’s Remy. He’s a builder.”

Roman was bewildered. Who would have thought a dreary emo like Virgil was good with kids. He hadn’t expected Virgil to warm up to the little girl so quickly and not even be bothered by her silly questions. He had underestimated Virgil’s skills with stories. Who could make up stories like that on the go? And all of that because a child had asked why his hair was purple. It’s absurd. Something at the back of his mind scolded him for judging people so quickly at first glance. Yet, another part of him was too stubborn to change his hatred for Virgil. Did he _really_ despise Virgil? It doesn’t matter.

“When are we gonna get there, mister?” Faye asked Damien with a yawn, leaning her head on Virgil’s shoulder. Virgil didn’t dare move a muscle—he even tried to stop his breathing.

“Five more minutes, kid.”

After another few minutes, the car fell silent once again. Virgil looked down to see Faye asleep on his chest. _‘Oh no…’_ He gave Logan a pleading look, pointing at the sleeping child. Logan could only shrug and silently apologize. Damien glanced over at his side, giving Virgil an amused look. He teased Virgil, whispering things that he knew would make the younger outraged. It was amusing to see Virgil glaring at him while trying not to move. Two minutes later, they entered a suburban area with rows of houses on the sides of the narrow road.

Finally, the house came to view, and Lily was standing at the porch with a smile. Damien could hear his brother’s shouts, and he hoped Patton remembered not to jump out until the car stops moving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyy! I'm not late for an update for once. The quality of my writing has been slowly declining, I don't know what is happening to me.
> 
> What do you think Lily will do? Will it be a heartbreaking news or a heartwarming conversation?
> 
> What do you think of Faye? She was a lot of fun to write.  
> She ended up playing a much more important role than I originally intended. She serves as the character that everyone interacts with and she reacts to the in return. I thought this could show the development and characteristics of each character that way. We'll see her interact with Patton and Remy (and Lily) in the next chapter.
> 
> What do you think of Virgil's story? I came up with that story on the spot and just started writing as I'm creating this fantasy world. Hope it wasn't too confusing.
> 
> Alright, that's it for now. This was waaaay longer than I intended. See ya in the next one!


	40. An Eventful Sojourn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew had a great time in the Harveys' childhood home.  
> Lily had something to tell her children.

As soon as the car stopped, Patton jumped out and sprinted across the lawn. He wrapped his mother in a big hug, making her chuckle in amusement. Before long, everyone was out of the car. Virgil did have some difficulties with a child sleeping on his chest. Damien jumped to the porch enveloping both his brother and mother in a brief but tight hug. Patton couldn’t bring himself to let go as he let out a relieved and tearful laugh.

“I miss you, mom,” Patton mumbled into Lily’s shoulder, earning another chuckle from his mother. Damien took a deep breath and bit his lip, trying to stop the tears that he could feel creeping at the back of his eyes.

“Alright, dear. I miss you, too.” Lily gave an affectionate kiss on Patton’s forehead and letting go before pulling Damien into a hug. “Bring the others inside, boys. I’ll wait inside, okay. I’ll prepare everything, then I’ll go say hi.”

The twins looked at each other for a brief second before looking back at their mother disappearing into the house. They stood in silence, staring at the open door and into the empty, dim hallway of the house, only illuminated by the golden sunlight. The twins looked at each other once again, engrossed in a silent conversation through their eyes. There were questions—many of them—that were yet to be answered. They hoped most, if not all, will be answered.

The rest of the crew had waited by the car, looking at the Harveys awkwardly. After another few minutes of silence, Remy approached the twins who were still having their staring match. “Everything alright, _moy milyy?_ ” Remy asked, making sure nothing was amiss.

“Yep!” Patton answered, his voice unusually vibrant.

He approached Roman, Logan and Virgil who were still standing awkwardly by the car. Logan was carrying his niece while she leaned her head on his shoulder, still asleep. Patton grinned brightly when he saw the sleeping child. Too bad she was asleep, otherwise he’d go have fun with the adorable little kiddo. Not wanting to wake the little girl, he gestured to the others to follow him, not letting out a single word. Remy and Damien were already inside.

“I miss this place,” Patton said with a smile. “Back then, Dee and I would go run around the house and mom would explode, because we’d make a mess.”

“You and your brother are far closer than I expected,” Roman commented. He glanced at the rows of framed pictures hung on the walls of the entry hallway. There was one photograph of the twins as children on the beach.

“Yeah. We’ve never been apart from each other. I wouldn’t want to be too far from Dee.” Patton led the small crew to the modest but cozy dining room where Damien and Remy had already waited with Lily.

“Hello,” Lily greeted them warmly. On the table were simple foods, though despite the simplicity it could probably feed a small army. “Come here, boys. Sit down—oh, who’s child is this?” Lily approached Logan without hesitation and took the child’s small form into her arms. “Good to see you again, Logan. Yes, I haven’t forgotten you.”

“Oh. Pleasure to meet you, too, ma’am,” Logan said politely with a slight nod. He paused when he heard Lily’s faint chuckle. Had he done something wrong?

“You boys. You don’t need to be so formal all the time. Just Lily is fine, dear.”

Lily had looked considerably better than the last time Logan had seen her. Granted, she had shed a few pounds off—presumably because of the stress eating at her—but she still looked somewhat elegant. Her salt-and-pepper hair was tied back in a loose, effortless bun, and her smile was bright if only a little bit tired. She carried Faye onto the couch in the living room, only a few paces away from the dining table.

“That’s just how Logan speaks,” Roman said casually as she walked past him.

“Oh, sorry I didn’t see you there.” Lily gave Roman and Virgil a smile. “Who are you?”

“I’m Roman. You have a lovely home, miss.” Roman gave Lily a bright, charming smile.

“Thank you. And you are...”

“Ah, um, I’m—uh, I’m Virgil.”

After ushering everyone to the dining table, Lily insisted on serving everyone a generous portion of food. There were chicken soup, some amount of pasta for everyone and some fried eggs. Simple, but enough. The meal had started a little awkwardly at first, with only Lily and Patton speaking. Patton couldn’t contain his joy and relief anymore, chattering between every bite of his food while Damien sat next to him listening closely to every word their mother said.

When they were younger, dinner was always an interesting time. Damien would jump into the kitchen, helping his mother cook while Patton chatted with their father. Damien was a lot like his father. They were both more quiet and reserved, talking only if necessary—or if they feel like it. And like his father, lying was a dangerous habit for Damien. He often hid behind a false facade. It was never his intention, though after years of being alone and socially rejected, he had tried to put a face of indifference to the world to show he wasn’t afraid of being alone. Though even _he_ knew that being alone and feeling lonely were two different things.

Patton, on the other hand, was a lot more like his mother. He was what brought the family together at times when they were going through tough times—like the time when Damien had to go through a big surgery due to some serious internal infection that Patton didn’t really understand. Like Lily, Patton was always the one who laughs at something, preferring to be optimistic and ignoring the negativity of the world. It was the thing that made Travis fell for Lily; how she could lift everyone’s mood and make every grim moment better.

After some moment of awkward silence, Patton decided to bring the table to life. “Mom, remember when Dee had a pet snake?” He looked to his side with a smile—it looked innocent enough, but Damien knew better.

“You’re not supposed to tell anyone that!” Damien placed his spoon on the now-empty plate. “Mom, please, don’t answer.”

Lily shook his head in amusement. “Yes, your snake was such a pain to take care of. It scared everyone.”

“Not me!” Damien pointed a finger as if to emphasize his words.

“You had a pet snake?” Virgil asked, to everyone’s surprise. “Excuse my language, but what the _actual_ fuck?”

“Hey, look snakes are awesome, okay. They have crazy powerful muscles and they swallow their food whole—they might as well inhale their food, man. How is that _not_ cool?”

“You know what he named his snake?” Patton baited with another question, earning a glare from his brother. “It was—”

“Nope!” Damien immediately slapped his hand on Patton’s mouth. “You’re not doing that to me, brother.”

“You sound like Thor calling Loki ‘brother,’ you know,” Roman commented, pushing his plate away. Among them, he had eaten the most—which made sense considering his towering height and hefty muscles.

“I would say that Damien fits Loki more than Thor. It suits him better somehow,” Logan rebutted Roman’s words.

“No, _girls,_ we were talking about snakes! What did you name your snake, Day?” Remy interrupted the conversation. He was seating at the edge of his seat now.

“Why would I tell you?” Damien interjected. “Mom, help me, please.”

“Now, Damien, I’ve always told you _not_ to keep secrets. Remember?” Lily said with a teasing smile, chuckling at her son’s slight pout.

“He named the snake Dee-dee,” Patton said with a giggle. He let out a loud laugh when he saw Damien’s outraged expression. “You named it after yourself!”

“Hey! What?! I feel so betrayed right now.”

Lily’s laugh was contagious. She had sounded so lively and light that it spread through the table like a wildfire—though warm instead of scorching. Hearing his mother’s laugh, Damien couldn’t feel offended for very long. He let himself loose, letting out a long sigh as if he had dropped a huge weight that he’d carried on his shoulder. He looked across the table, seeing Remy shaken with laughter. Damien thought the day could never get better.

“Dee-dee was my best friend, okay,” Damien said amidst his laughter. “She was my soulmate long before Remy was.”

Glancing at Lily, Remy was surprised to see her looking straight at him—though with a warm smile. He shifted his gaze to Damien, smirking to himself. “I can be strong and flexible like a snake, too, you know,” he said with a wink when he caught Damien’s eyes. He risked another glance at Lily, surprised to see her giggling. The whole table was shaken with another wave of laughter and snickering. Really, Remy only laughed when he saw the dark red painting Damien’s face.

The chatter at the dining table continued until they were interrupted by a small voice.

“Uncle Lo? Where are you?” Faye, awoken by the loud chatter and laughter, was seating on the sofa with hair over her face in a messy tangle.

Patton practically jumped out of his seat and quickly walked over to the couch, followed by Logan. He approached Faye carefully, not wanting to overwhelm the child as she was still half-asleep.

“Hello,” Patton said gently, sitting next to her. “How was your sleep?”

Faye couldn’t seem to take her eyes off of him. She scanned the room and found Damien sitting on the dining table not too far away from the couch. Faye looked alternately between Patton and Damien, face contorting with confusion the longer she looked. “Why are there two of you?”

“Who?” Patton followed her gaze. “Oh, Damien and I are twins. I’m Patton.”

Faye gasp and smiled brightly, swiping the annoying hair covering her eyes. “Uncle Lo told me about you! He said you’re very nice—”

“I didn’t say that,” Logan said, sitting on Faye’s other side. He then whispered to his niece, “I only said he’s an excellent company.”

“That means he’s nice, right?” Faye asked innocently.

“I—yes, that means—yes, he’s nice.”

Patton who had been listening to the small conversation let out a small giggle. Logan was not very good with children, Patton realized. Though his attempts to communicate with his niece were very endearing—how he tried to find the simplest words he could think of so the child could understand him.

“Yes, you see? He thinks you’re very nice!” Faye said again to Patton.

“Well, then tell Logan that he’s very nice, too. And, I think he’s super smart.”

“I think he likes you, too, Uncle Lo,” Faye said innocently to her uncle sitting next to her. She didn’t notice the slightest pink on Logan’s cheeks.

Meanwhile, everyone on the dining table watched Logan, Patton and Faye having their quiet conversation. Lily smiled wistfully at her son and his soulmate having a small chat with Logan’s niece. He remembered when she was younger; she and Travis would talk about their future together. How they’ll see their sons grow up and watch their grandchildren grow, too. Seeing Patton appear so content talking to a child made her feel so old and alone. Her husband would have loved to see this; seeing their son all grown up with a child. She missed him. All she wanted was for him to be there to hold her, kiss her and tell her that everything was alright—that it was all just a bad dream. She knew, of course, that’s not how reality works. When she first married Travis, she really thought she would be with her soulmate forever. Small drops of tears escaped her eyelids. She wiped it away hurriedly before the kids on the table saw anything wrong.

Roman and Damien shared knowing glances across the table. Seeing their brother figures having a playful chat with each other was intriguing to say the least. Roman couldn’t remember seeing Logan so at ease in front of anyone other than his mother and Roman himself. Perhaps he and Damien didn’t have to play matchmaker after all. But of course, it couldn’t have been that easy.

“Hey mom, why did you call us over? Not that I mind, I just… wanted to know,” Damien asked his mother.

Lily’s smile faltered. She had wished that neither of her sons would ask why she had invited them over. She wanted to spend time with them, of course, but there were other things she needed to do, too.

“Well,” Lily said, taking the seat next to Damien. “I wanted to talk to you and your brother. Also Remy and Logan.”

“Why? Are you okay? Nothing’s wrong, right?”

“Oh, no, of course not. Don’t worry. It was just… a small message.”

“What do you mean?”

 

* * *

 

It was later in the evening. The small gang of friends had been staying in the Harveys’ home for a few hours. The house was more alive than before with Patton and Remy playing with Faye while Roman and Virgil were having their usual jabs of insults as Logan tried to stop them. However, Damien couldn’t help but think about what his mother had told him earlier. What message? Was it so important she couldn’t tell them through the phone? Of course, he was glad his mom had invited everyone over. At least he could see she was well. He looked down from the dining room to where Remy and Patton sat with Faye on the floor right by the couch.

“Your friend told me you were a builder,” Faye said to Remy as he pointed to Virgil.

“A builder, _darling?_ ”

“Yes!” She shouted with a small giggle. “He said you can use magic. And then you can build a kingdom!”

“Um, ‘course I can, _baby._ ” Remy pulled Faye onto his lap so she wouldn’t move around too much. She didn’t seem to mind. “What kingdom are we talking about?”

“It’s called… Art- _something._ ” Faye tried to remember the story she was told. She couldn’t remember the name of the guy with the purple hair, but she though he was cool. “He said there are mages and warriors in the kingdom. And a king! The warriors are cool. The leaders are girls, like me!”

Remy chuckled. He had abandoned his sunglasses as it annoyed the little girl. “Well, I don’t know about that art-something kingdom, but I _do_ know stuff about art.”

“Oh yeah, Dee told me something about you doing art. He brought a painting home once,” Patton said, recalling the time his brother came back to their apartment with a rolled piece of paper.

“Yep.” Remy reached into his messenger bag and took his precious sketchbook that he brought with him everywhere he goes. “Let’s see, little Faye. You want me to draw you something, _honey?_ ”

“Yes!” Faye bounced excitedly as Remy took his colored pencils out. “Draw me!”

“Draw you? Okay, let’s see.” Remy swiftly made a rough sketch of Faye’s small and slender form. Her chest-length jet-black hair was straight and neat after Lily had brushed her hair earlier. Her vivid blue eyes looked as bright as glacier ice. Her charming, adorable smile fit her tiny face, along with a cute button nose. After fifteen minutes of sketching and light coloring, Remy flipped his sketchbook to reveal his artwork that was done with lightning-speed. Usually, a full drawing would take him up-to two hours, but he knew a child doesn’t have the patience to wait too long. “There you go! What do you think?”

Damien suppressed a slight smile that was starting to form on his lips. Seeing everyone so happy and alive made him feel alright. Perhaps there really was nothing he should worry about. Maybe he could let go for a few minutes and allow himself sink in the moment. Like always, he was alone even with people around him. He didn't speak to anyone in the last hour. Lily had excused herself to go to the bathroom a few minutes ago. Standing up from his seat on the dining table, he crossed the room and sat on the floor next to his brother.

“I’m bored.” Damien shifted and leaned on his brother. Patton encircled his arm around Damien’s shoulder.

“I have a question!” Faye exclaimed. “Everyone has a soulmate?”

“Not everyone, I don’t think,” Damien answered. “Some people don’t have them, but that’s okay.”

“Do you have a soulmate, mister?” Faye directed his question to Damien. He answered with a curt nod, smiling at the little girl’s unending energy supply. “Who is it?”

“This one.” Damien pointed at Remy with a smirk.

“I have a name, thank you _very_ much, _moy milyy._ ”

The room continued to buzz with life. Roman and Virgil’s argument was also gaining volume, but no one really paid attention aside from Logan. When the click of a door was heard and the sound of footsteps became louder, everyone in the room lowered their voices as if a wind had rushed into the room and stole their voices. Lily peeked into the room and waved the twins to come over. Sparing a brief glance at each other, Patton and Damien approached their mother with curiosity and worry. Not saying a word, Lily led them into the twins’ old bedroom.

The bedroom was just like how it used to be. A bunk bed on one side of the wall and a window on the other. Adjacent to the door were two desks with a slim cupboard standing in between. Damien grinned, sitting on the bottom bunk of the bed—where he used to sleep. Patton jumped onto the top bunk, climbing the short ladder two at a time. Lily smiled looking at their antics. Only yesterday they were still so tiny, running around the house causing chaos. Now, they’re all grown up, making the bunk bed they sat on seem small.

“Now, I have something for both of you,” Lily said, closing the door gently. “It’s from your father.”

She smiled sadly, looking down at the wooden desks in the room. They used to be so full and messy, now empty. She shushed Damien when he tried to ask questions and opened the cupboard. Inside was a box with a lock keeping it shut tight. Lily took a small key from the pocket of her pants and unlocked the lock with a satisfying click. In the box were three letters.

The twins stared at their mother, confused.

 

* * *

 

“What’s happening?” Virgil said lowly. He felt the need to keep his volume down.

“I do not know,” Logan answered. “I also do not know why we are here, really. Did Damien tell you anything, Remy?”

“Um, no, _hun._ I mean... if I knew, you’d prolly know, too, _girl._ ”

“You know, it doesn’t make much sense that Virgil and I are even here. Sure, you and Remy being here makes a lot of sense. But I have _no_ business being here.” Roman leaned back on his seat and crossed his arms. “I’m guessing no one knows _that_ either.”

“No,” Remy and Logan answered simultaneously.

“Why are you so serious?” Faye asked the adults. Adults are so weird. “Is something wrong? Is there a bad guy?”

“No, _hunny._ All is fine, Patton and Damien will be here soon,” Remy assured her. He looked over at Logan, asking what he should do about her.

“You’re lying!” Faye whisper-shouted. She could sense something was wrong. Why was everyone so serious? Why aren't they talking and laughing like before? There _must_ be something wrong. “What’s wrong? I’m scared…”

“Don’t be scared, lil’ one,” Roman sat himself down on the floor across from Remy so he could see Faye in the eyes. “If there’s a bad guy, I’ll burn them. I’m a fire mage, remember?” He looked over at Virgil, absolutely regretting the fact that he had to use Virgil’s story.

“Oh, that’s right. And Vir—Vir… what’s your name again?”

“Virgil.”

“Yes. You’re a fire mage, and Virgil’s a lightning mage. You can defeat the bad guy! And Uncle Lo is a warrior, right Virgil?” Faye asked the purple-haired boy with a hopeful tone. She was surrounded by awesome people—there was absolutely nothing to be scared about.

“Yep! And you, too. Don’t forget that.” Virgil walked over and sat on the floor as well. “Being a warrior means you’re strong and powerful. There’s nothing to be scared about.”

“See? You’re a mighty warrior, young lady.” Roman poked Faye’s stomach gently, earning a giggle from her. “And according to the story, you are _far_ more powerful than we, simple mages. You rule above us! Your uncle Logan can lead us to a glorious war against those criminals and scoundrels, and I assure you that we will come out victorious!”

“Eh, god. I swear, you actually _try_ to be extra. I bet you eat edible glitter so that you can _“be pretty on the inside”_ or something like that,” Virgil squinted in disapproval, leaning his body away from Roman.

“At least I’m not all dark and brooding, like you,” Roman pointed an accusing finger at Virgil. “And if I did eat edible glitter—which I _do not_ do—so what? Glitter makes a man look dazzling.”

“More like tacky.”

“Since when are a fashion critic?”

“Oh, sorry, that’s _your_ job. After all, you _love_ commenting on my “emo” look or whatever.”

“It’s not my fault you look atrocious all the time with your sinister makeup.”

“At least I don’t dress like a wannabe-prince or act like a royal brat.”

“Okay, _girls,_ you _both_ look pretty! Can you stop now?” Remy struck his palms against Roman’s and Virgil’s face. “I think that _glorious war_ Roman mentioned is already here, _girls._ ”

Faye giggled as she watched the loud commotion. She didn’t understand what they were talking about, but it looked like a lot of fun. In fact, uncle Logan was trying not to laugh. So, it must have been funny.

 

* * *

 

“This was given to me years ago by your father a few years ago,” Lily said, trying not to shed a tear as she remembered her late husband. “He told me not to open it until he—until he’s no longer here.

“I remember him telling me that if he were to _go_ before you are grown, I was to give this to you once you’re twenty. He said, if _I_ were to go first then he’ll give it to you himself.” She paused, no longer able to hold back her tears. The warm droplets of water dripped down her face steadily without a sound. Damien, who had been sitting on the bottom bunk, approached her and gave her a tight hug. He looked up at his brother who sat on the top bunk with a frown. “He told me—he told me that he’d written letters to both of you. “For their future,” he’d said to me that day. So, now I’m giving you these. I didn’t know what was in this box. I almost forgot about it. It’s been six years since he’d given it to me, so I never thought about it. I didn’t think I would have to give it to you so soon.”

Lily stepped away from Damien’s warm embrace and took the letters out. He gave a letter to Patton—a light blue envelope with his name, a neat calligraphy written with a fountain pen. One for Damien, a pastel yellow, also with his name written in calligraphy. And the last was a wine-red envelope, sealed with wax and her name written across it.

“Don’t open it,” Lily said when she saw Patton trying to pry the glue of the envelope open. “Not yet.” She inhaled a deep breath, trying not to tremble. “I want you to go. Find a private place. When your father wrote these letters for you, he didn’t know if you were going to have a soulmate or not. He said that if you do, you _must_ read the letters with them. I don’t know why, but please do as I say.”

“Can we read it now?” Patton climbed down the bed, standing next to his brother.

“No, I need to talk to everyone first.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Hope you liked this one. It's a tiny bit longer.
> 
> What do you think of Lily? What do you think are in those letters?  
> Let me know what you think in the comments.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you liked this. It was so much fun to write this chapter. I don't think I got the emotional/mood shifts right, but hey I tried. There isn't much to say now. See ya in the next one!  
> \---  
> Russian stuff:  
> мой милый  
> moy milyy  
> [my precious; my dear]


	41. Dialogues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily gave the boys a short speech that left them in confusion.  
> Logan and Patton discovered something between them.  
> Damien and Remy were an awkward flirty mess—as usual.  
> Virgil and Roman were being Virgil and Roman, as always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT: This chapter will have lots of emotional rifts. Have fun!  
> Do tell what you think of this chapter. It's one of the most challenging chapters to write so far.

Lily and her children walked out of the room with a somber mood. She told them to wait for her in the dining room while she composed herself. As they entered the living room, they could hear faint laughter and chatter. Logan had joined the others on the floor, discussing something with Virgil. Remy and Roman were occupied by little Faye. When the others saw their gloomy faces, they paused. The room became dead silent.

“Can you guys go to the dining room?” Patton said, approaching Faye who was sitting on the floor like the others. “Hey, kiddo. Do you want to watch TV for a little bit?”

“Okay,” Faye said with a smile. Her smile soon vanished when she saw the tears in Patton’s eyes. “Why are you crying? Are you okay? Are you hurt? Who hurt you? I’m going to kill them.”

“I’m fine, kiddo.” Patton gave her a watery laugh. “Come on, let’s get you cozy on the couch.”

Damien ushered the others to the dining room, telling them to sit and wait. He didn’t bother telling them what was going on. Damien sat in silence as Patton came to sit with them and waited for Lily. Damien held his letter with care, flipping it from side to side. He remembered his father’s fountain pen that must have been used to write the names on the envelopes. His father was always so proud of that pen, saying it was an old pen given to him by his grandfather. Damien couldn’t understand why his father would have written a letter for them.

When Lily stepped into the room, she had no traces of tears though her face was a little flushed. She chose not to sit, instead looking down at the crowd of young men in her dining room. She let out a deep sigh and looked at her sons with sorrow.

“Okay, I’m sorry I haven’t told anyone about this.” Lily let out another long breath. “I only want to say a few things. After that, you are free to choose to stay here until later or leave. Alright. I lost my soulmate. I also lost my best friend, my companion, and to put it dramatically I lost a piece of myself. Why am I telling you this? Because I want you to know that this _will_ happen to you in the future. Maybe not in a year, five years, or a decade… but it’ll happen to you no matter what.”

The room somehow became more silent than before. Only the faint sound of the television and Faye’s occasional little giggle was heard. It was as though even the air had stopped moving around them and listened. As if the shadows had started to come alive with curiosity as the oppressive silence weighed heavier and heavier on their shoulders.

“I only want you, young men, to know. I wanted to let you know what I learned. I _don’t_ want any of you to waste your time fighting nonsense with your soulmates,” Lily directed her gaze at Roman and Virgil. She had noticed how they argued about nothing earlier. And although she had nothing to do with either of them, she thought it would be a shame to see them fail like so many others.

“I want you to be open to each other.” She shifted her gaze to her own son. She knew how Damien was always very closed, shutting himself out from the world and keep everything to himself. She didn’t want her own son to hurt himself and those he will love. “Secrets, while necessary from time to time, can be dangerous.

“And appreciate each other. All their flaws and their quirks and _everything_ about them,” Lily took a deep breath, keeping the tears that threatened to spill to stop. She was tired of grief. She was tired of having her heart clench at the very thought of her lost love. “ _Please,_ love each with all you have, because someday all you will have are each other. _Please,_ because you never know when they are going to leave the world. And by then, you’d regret everything you haven’t done and _not_ the things you have.”

Patton sat rigid on his chair, clenching his fists into a white-knuckled grip. He bit his cheeks, trying not to let his emotions known to the world. Usually, he’d let himself cry or just lose himself in all the melancholy and heartache that consumed him. This time he couldn’t. Patton found himself forgetting to breathe. He squeezed around the material of his pants, trying not to break. Not now, not yet. Just then, Logan’s hand found his under the table. Logan, who sat next to him, was still paying attention to Lily. Patton let Logan pried his fingers and intertwined their fingers gently as Logan rubbed a small circle on the back of his hand with his thumb.

As soon as his mother left the room, Patton exploded with tears. Damien had wanted to comfort him, but to his surprise Logan told him to go.

“I’ll do this,” Logan told Damien, hand still intertwined with Patton’s. “I thought I’d take your mother’s advice.”

Damien nodded. He took Remy’s hand and towed him away to the backyard. It was cool outside with the cool air around them. The night was quiet, the crickets didn’t bother to chirp. Remy followed him, not bothered by the hand enclosing his. At the back of the small garden was a tree—stout but thick—with a small treehouse sitting on one of its mighty branches. Letting go of Remy’s hand, Damien climbed the tree until his feet were on the lower landing of the wooden structure. Waving for Remy to follow after him, he scanned the old treehouse. It was small, but it held many memories.

They sat side by side in silence. The two had had their silent moments before, but never like this. It was a good thing that the Harveys’ home was located in a suburban neighborhood, so night times will always be quiet—unlike the constant humming of the city. The rustle of the leaves was appeasing in some ways. Like they could sway to the music that nature itself has created.

“What are we doing, Day?” Remy asked. He noticed the letter Damien had in his hand. The yellow envelope looked almost grey in the dim light given by the streetlight nearby. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Damien answered, crossing his legs in front of him. “My dad wrote a letter for me and Patton. I’m supposed to—I have to read it with you. I don’t want to read it yet, though.”

“Okay? Then why are we here, _moy milyy?_ ”

“Because… I don’t know.

“So?”

“So, I guess I’m going to ask you questions. You’re also going to ask me questions. No secrets this time. Like mom said.”

 

* * *

 

“Patton?” Logan was starting to question his decision. Maybe he should have let Damien help his brother. He tightened his hold on Patton’s hand, reminding him that Logan was there with him. “I’m—uh, Patton, do you need anything?”

Patton shook his head through his sobs, squeezing Logan’s hand. “I’m sorry,” He whispered between hiccups after his sobs subsided.

“It’s alright.” Logan was aware of Roman and Virgil’s watching eyes, so he urged Patton to stand up. “Do you want to go somewhere you can calm yourself down?”

With a nod, Patton pulled Logan away from the dining room into his old bedroom. Letting go of Logan’s hand, he crossed the room to open the window. The cool air of the night blew into the room. Patton had intentionally left the lights off, preferring the dim light given off by the streetlight outside.

“Are you feeling better?” Logan asked, walking closer to stand by the window with Patton. Patton answered with a hum of affirmation, pushing his face onto Logan’s arm.

“I don’t want to do this again, Logan.”

“Do _what_ exactly?”

“I dunno… I just don’t wanna be a burden. I always cry and get too emotional with everything that happens. It gets tiring, but usually it feels better.”

“If it makes you feel better, why would you want to stop? Crying has been proven to be significantly beneficial to your emotional stability. It is much better to cry rather than keeping everything in, scientifically speaking.”

“Yeah, but then _you_ get confused sometimes. I want you to—I don’t want to be a burden to anyone, y’know. Everyone have to take care of me when I’m crying. That’s so childish of me.” Patton looked up to see Logan’s blue eyes. There was something there that he couldn’t explain. As if the coldness of the icy blue was what give Logan’s gaze its warmth. “I don’t want to be a baby forever, Lo.”

“Who said you were a burden to anyone? Being emotional, I believe, is not a flaw. I myself am struggling with emotions and understanding them. For the longest time, I didn’t care. But after I know you, it made me appreciate the little things. And even if it _was_ a flaw, who is to say that people _wouldn’t_ love you?”

“I—okay…” They stood quietly side by side for a moment. Patton slowly turned and tucked himself against Logan’s chest. Logan instinctively wrapped his arms around him, looking down at him with confusion. Patton leaned his forehead gently against Logan’s, careful as if the littlest movement would scare Logan away. “What if it _does_ happen, Lo?” He asked softly.

“ _What_ happens?”

“What mom said. What if I lose you? Maybe—maybe not now… but what if...”

“You won’t,” Logan answered in a low voice. “I promise.”

 

* * *

 

The dining room was almost empty with only Roman and Virgil sitting next to each other awkwardly. Roman almost wished that he could kill the tension in the room with a sword. However, tension was not a tangible thing, and he didn’t have a sword.

“Well,” Roman gave Virgil an awkward glance. “What are we gonna do now?”

“Don’t know. All I know, I’m not doing _anything_ with you.” Virgil stood from his seat, walking out to the porch.

Leaving the front door open, he sat on the cold tile floor. He looked out to the dark, empty street where only the night could be seen. There was a small wooden gate next to the house, presumably leading to the backyard. He replayed what Patton’s mom said earlier in his head. He hadn’t expected such a serious moment to happen. He thought they were just going to spend time together for no reason. Virgil did enjoy the day more than he’d like to admit. He _did_ have a complaint with having Roman there, but only because he didn’t want to see that _soulmate_ of his. _“Don’t fight. Be open. Appreciate each other,”_ she said. How was Virgil supposed to do that?

He could hear faint footsteps coming closer, but he didn’t bother checking who it was. Maybe he was just imagining things. Maybe there was no one coming at all. A few seconds later, Roman joined him on the floor, sitting an arm-lengths away.

“What are you doing?” Roman asked, staring out into the night.

“No. What are _you_ doing?” Virgil retorted without thinking, letting his sarcastic mind take over. “I thought you were supposed to avoid me at all cost. Didn’t I do you a favor by getting away from you? Don’t waste your precious energy doing useless things.”

“Why are you always so angry at me?” Roman said, his voice flat without a trace of emotion.

“Why do you _think_ genius?” Virgil exploded with exasperation. “Oh wait, you _never_ think. Of course you wouldn’t know.”

“Stop it.”

“No! Why don’t _you_ stop it?! Maybe, I don’t know, reflect back on whatever the _fuck_ you did! _Maybe_ then you’ll get your answer!”

“Please, stop it.”

“Have you ever think at all? Like, about what you did and everything? Of _course_ , you’ve thought about yourself, but have you ever think about someone else other than your _precious_ self? About the things you do that will affect _other_ people and—”

“Just _stop!_ ”

Virgil paused, looking away, afraid that Roman will see the pool of tears in his eyes. He blinked it away before it ever fell. There was a streetlight, surrounded by bugs—not moths—across the street. He wrapped his hoodie tighter around him, putting a hand behind his neck as if it could ward off the cold that he felt deep inside. Nothing made sense.

“Why do you hate me?” Virgil asked, his voice diminished into a mere tremble. “What did I do to you?”

“You didn’t do anything. It wasn’t your fault. I’ve told you,” Roman said with a _hint_ of regret. Still, he held strong to his belief that he didn’t need a soulmate. “I just didn’t want a soulmate, okay. It’s nothing.”

“But why—”

“Because it’s wrong! Don’t you see that it’s not real?” How could Virgil _not_ understand. “You don’t know what’s gonna happen with your—look, one time a guy would be nice to you and then some time later he turns into a big brute! One second you feel safe and the next you’re fighting for your life, it’s just—”

“Is _that_ what you think will happen to you? _That’s_ what you think I’ll do to you? Have you seen me, _Roman?_ I’m _nothing!_ ”

“No, I’m just saying it happened before. Who’s to say it won’t happen again?”

“Why do you _assume_ that I’ll—”

“No! I just don’t want to be like him!” Roman stopped, his chest rising up and down quickly with every short breath he drew. He continued with a softer voice, “I don’t know how this whole thing works. I don’t know how… It would just be easier if I didn’t have a soulmate, cus’ then if it doesn’t work we can leave each other. But soulmates don’t work like that.”

“I don’t know what you’re…” Virgil frowned deeper. “Who are you talking about?”

Virgil was only met with the shake of Roman’s head. _“Don’t fight. Be open. Appreciate each other,”_ she said. How was Virgil supposed to do that?

 

* * *

 

“First question.” Damien started, putting the letter on his lap. “What do you think you’ll do if you knew you couldn’t fail?”

“Really, _babe?_ What kind of question is that?”

“Just answer. I just want to know how crazy you really are.”

“Ugh, fine. I think, I would fly myself out of this hellish planet, bringing the hottest guy I know and live in a new habitable planet I can find. Then, I’ll become magical and become immortal.”

“That’s not even _remotely_ realistic. Also, who’s the hottest guy you know?”

“Nope. It’s my turn to ask a question now. Um… how gay are you?”

“Half gay. I’m bi,” Damien said in a deadpanned tone, making Remy let out a small laugh. He thought he could get used to the sound of Remy’s laugh. “Alright, my turn again!”

“Bring it!”

“What is…” Damien trailed off, tapping his chin in thought. “What’s your ultimate turn on?”

Remy squinted with a smile. “What are you gonna do with that information?”

“Hey, it’s not your turn to ask questions.”

“ _Yeesh,_ okay, okay. Probably intense eye contact. And, it helps if the guy is really hot.”

Damien raised his brows with a smirk. He moved his face closer to Remy’s, staring deep into pale jade eyes. Remy couldn’t move under his intense gaze, only staring back with silence. After a few long seconds, he flipped his sunglasses to cover his eyes with a smirk. Without missing a beat, Damien snatched the sunglasses off, smiling mischievously as he saw the slight pink of Remy’s cheeks.

“I never really know what color your eyes are,” Damien said lowly, maintaining eye contact. He wasn’t aware how much affect he actually had on Remy. “It’s like a really pale green. Almost grey, unless you see it under the sun.”

“Uh—yeah, um—didn’t know you were paying attention, _babe,_ ” Remy said, trying to sound nonchalant. He finally looked away after a few moments, face visibly flushed even under the dim light. _‘Shit. That was hot.’_

His face turned darker when he heard Damien’s low chuckle. How could someone’s _laugh_ sound hot, too? He tried staring at Damien with an annoyed look, but Damien only laughed harder. Well, this was frustrating. He tried his best to gain composure, but with Damien’s eyes still watching him, he couldn’t help his awkward shifting. There was something buzzing in the back of his mind that made his entire being shake—fear or excitement, he didn’t know. He tried to push all his thoughts away to no avail.

“Alright, your turn to ask a question,” Damien broke his train of thought.

“What do you like and dislike most about yourself?” Remy finally uttered after a long moment of silent contemplation.

Damien was silent for a few moments, blinking in thought. “I think, what I like the most… in myself… is that I can fake everything so easily. I can fake my confidence in a blink. I can pretend like I believe in something. People would never know how I feel inside, because it doesn’t matter.” He took a deep breath, unsure of what to say next. “But _at the same time,_ I hate the fact that I lie… a lot… when I’m nervous or when I don’t think properly. The first thing that comes out of me is a lie if I’m not careful. I guess it’s a habit that started since I was in middle school.”

“What happened in middle school?” Remy asked, scrunching his forehead.

Damien was about to tell Remy that it was his turn to ask, but he stopped himself. No secrets, he told himself. Secrets meant safety. Secrets meant no judgement. He wanted so desperately for Remy to like him—it didn’t even have to be romantic. He didn’t need Remy to know he was born a loser.

“Middle school. Middle school sucked. I had no friends. But really, I didn’t have friends since… ever. I didn’t have friends in elementary school, middle school or high school. It was _fine._ I mean, you know, I didn’t get caught in school drama or some stuff like that. I _wasn’t_ afraid of being alone. I—it’s just that I hate it when—when… I’d hear what they say sometimes. They told each other that I was a creep and I didn’t care about anything. And then I did the most pathetic thing,” Damien paused, letting out a self-deprecating laugh. “I lied. Lied about myself, so I looked better… I wish I didn’t have to tell you these things. I faked everything. Logan was the first person I considered a friend, then I met you… and then I did it again. I faked everything.”

Damien noticed the slight flinch of Remy’s body next to him. “No, wait, I didn’t mean _that._ I like you! I mean, like, as a person—didn’t fake that, _for sure._ I just… haven’t told you anything about myself, really. All those flirting games we have; I didn’t usually know what to say. I’m not a confident person, y’know. But you always seem so relaxed that I can just _let go_ somehow.”

“I think you’re alright, _moy milyy._ I like you—as a person.” Remy poked Damien’s cheek, urging him to smile. “Your turn to ask a question now.”

“Kay, let’s see.” Damien ran his hand through his hair in thought. “Do you have an ex?”

Remy managed to bite back the violent gasp that almost escaped his lips. He swallowed, not knowing what to say. Of course, he could answer with only a yes or a no, but would Damien accept his answer?

“Yes.” Remy forced out his answer. He’s now reminded of the nightly terrors that he had. The dreams were irregular—sometimes he would dream of being chased by wolves, or he’d dream of a sharp pain running along his spine. He almost never see _his_ face in his nightmares anymore. Yet, he knew exactly why he always ended up hurt in his dreams. If only Damien didn’t ask. “Can I ask a question now?”

“You just did,” Damien said with a smirk, unaware of the emotional turmoil happening in Remy’s chest. “What ended your relationship with your ex?”

“Uh—I had to move to the States…”

“If you didn’t move, would you think you’d still be with them?”

“It’s _my_ turn to ask now, _darling._ ”

“Wait, no secrets.”

“I—” Remy stopped himself. _Would_ he still be with _him?_ It was difficult, he remembered, to get Varden away. When he stepped out of Varden’s house for the last time it felt _so wrong_ yet _incredibly_ liberating in some ways. Remy was alone without friends after Varden hoarded Remy for himself. “I don’t think so.”

“Do you still love them?”

“God, no.”

 

* * *

 

The house was quiet now. Faye was startled by the loud shouting she could hear outside. When she peeked around the corner of the hallway, she could see Virgil and Roman having an argument, and they were getting louder by the second. Oh no. She needed to find uncle Logan. He’ll know what to do. But, she had to find him first. She walked into the dining room to find it empty, so she wandered around. The kitchen smelled very nice, and empty. There were a few doors in the hallway next to the dining room, but all of them were shut. She didn’t want to try opening them.

Oh, wait. One door was open—a tiny crack, letting out a sliver of light to the hallway. She stepped closer, peering inside. Uncle Lo wasn’t there, but the nice woman from before was there. She had a big book open on her lap as she flipped each page carefully. Faye was about to leave to find her uncle until she heard a small sniffle from inside. She looked more closely to see the woman crying. Well, she had to fix this!

Opening the door, she stepped into the room. She halted her tiny steps in front of the older woman.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Faye asked with a small voice. She tried checking Lily’s arms to see any evidence of harm. Lily gave the little girl a watery smile. Finding no evidence of any injuries, she stopped. “Maybe you’re hurt inside here,” she pointed at her own chest. “Do you need a hug, then?”

“Aw, aren’t you the sweetest? A hug would be nice, right now.” Lily lifted the little girl to sit next to her on the bed. Faye wrapped her small arms around Lily’s waist tightly which Lily returned.

Faye turned to see the book Lily had on her lap. It was an album, which is a book for photos. “Who is that?” Faye pointed at a figure in one of the photographs. It was of a little boy standing under an unfinished treehouse holding a wood plank above his head.

“Oh, that’s Damien when he was small. The twins were building a treehouse that time with their father.”

“How about that one?” She pointed to another figure in a photograph of Lily and her husband back when they were younger.

“That’s my husband, dear.”

“Oh?” Faye widened her eyes. “Where is he now? Can I meet him? He looks very nice.”

“He was…” Lily answered, a little teary-eyed. “Unfortunately, you can’t meet him. He’s not here right now.”

“When is he coming back?”

“He—he _can’t_ come back.”

“Why not?”

“Well, he was in an accident. And then he was hurt, so he had to go.”

“Oh…” Faye responded flatly. She understood what death was. She didn’t know why people die. She only knew that they do. “Okay.”

The two ended up spending the night looking at pictures. Lily shared her memories to the sweet little girl, cherishing every thought of her husband. She knew it was time to move on, but she didn’t know if she was ready.

 

* * *

 

The room was still quiet. The only sound they could hear was the sound of each other’s long, steady breath. Logan found himself wanting to move closer to Patton. There was something about how Patton’s smaller frame fit against his body so perfectly. There were many things he didn’t understand, and for the first time he didn’t know what to ask. He had noticed the letters that the twins had with them earlier—what were they? What was it for? But maybe it wasn’t his business to know at all. There were many things he wished he could say, if only he could find the words.

“What are we doing, Patton?” Logan asked in a low voice.

“What do you mean?”

“Why are we doing _this._ ”

“Because we can? I don’t know. You make me feel so weird, Logan. Like a good weird. I don’t know if my brother knows, but I don’t really care now. That’s a weird thing to say, right? Usually, I care, but I can forget everything when you’re here. You’re always so serious, I don’t get it. But then I _also_ don’t care that I don’t get it. I’m confused about you sometimes, but I’m _always_ confused about everything—never with feelings, though. But then you make me confused about _my_ feelings. Not a bad thing. It’s just a thing that happens—being confused, I mean. That didn’t make sense. I don’t know what we’re doing, or why. We were supposed to read this letter that dad wrote to me, but we’re not doing that right now, are we? I don’t want to look inside and read what he thinks. Do you think he’s watching me from up there? I don’t know what he’d think of me. Of you. I wish he’d met you, because he would’ve loved you, Logan. Wait, no, we were talking about other things. Well, _I_ was talking about other things, since you haven’t said a wo—”

Patton was interrupted with a soft touch on his lips. It lasted only a second, but it felt like it could last forever. He inhaled a sharp breath, touching his lips with the tips of his fingers.

“Did you just—”

“Yes. I’m sorry, I didn’t—”

“Wait, no…” Patton looked into Logan’s shifting eyes, trying to hold its gaze. “Do it again?”

Logan leaned down slowly, giving Patton time to stop him. Instead, they met halfway. It was unsure and awkward at first, but they settled on a rhythm after a few moments. Logan held his arms around Patton’s waist a fraction tighter, pulling him closer to his chest while Patton let his fingers played loosely with Logan’s hair. Their lips glide against each other’s smoothly in a slow cadence as they pulled each other closer still. Only when their lungs burned for air did they broke apart. They stayed close, foreheads still pressed together.

“Why did you do that?” Patton asked in a whisper, a small smile painted across his lips.

“Well, perhaps you should stop being so adorable when you ramble on and on about nothing.”

There was a pause before they both broke into laughter. Patton pressed his face against Logan’s shoulder as he let out uncontrollable giggles while Logan buried his face in Patton’s wavy locks. Logan thought this was an odd turn of event. But perhaps odd isn’t too bad of a thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!! This chapter was a pain to write, but it was fun. Logan and Patton's conversation was quite the task, but I think it was alright (sorry if I didn't get the emotions right).
> 
> So, what do you think of Patton and Logan now? We know they're in (sort of) a relationship now, what do you think will happen? Please, please, _please_ tell me what you think of these two, because they're just so hard to get right. At this point, some people will ask if they're dating yet. Answer is: I don't know *grins*
> 
> Do you think Remy will ever tell Damien about his past? Will Damien share more of his struggles to Remy? Those two are still brimming with secrets at the moment, especially on Remy's side. Can anyone spot Damien's lies? I thought Damien was a little out of character in this chapter, sorry 'bout that.
> 
> And then, Roman and Virgil. These two are an enigma. I tried to make the debate they had short, but emotionally charged. Hope I got that bit right. In past arguments they had, usually Roman always becomes hot-headed the second Virgil becomes frustrated, so I wanted to see what it would be like if he started out with a calm tone. It sorta worked fine, I think.
> 
> LASTLY, we have the letters that are yet to be discussed. Why do you think they haven't open the letters yet? I like reading your hypotheses, so do write some in the comments if you have any. That's it for now, see ya in the next one.  
> \---  
> Russian stuff:  
> мой милый  
> moy milyy  
> [my precious; my dear]


	42. Sentiment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton finally read the letter with Logan.

“Hey, Logan,” Patton said through the phone. “Are you free? I think I want to read that letter now.”

_ “Well, I have two classes today. I believe I will be free later this evening,” _ Logan’s low voice was heard.  _ “I will see if I can come to your apartment.” _

“I thought we should go somewhere else. Not in my place, I mean. We can go anywhere you want!”

_ “Alright, then. I’ll see if any place comes to mind.” _

Patton clutched the phone in his chest in delight. He threw himself onto his bed and buried himself in his thick blanket. It’s still quite early—seven in the morning, as his alarm clock told him. Damien had yet to be awake. He hadn’t told anyone about what happened, which Patton himself thought was odd. Especially considering he always tells his brother about everything and Damien tells him about everything, too, in return. Though whether anyone knew or not, Patton did not care the slightest.

The clock continued to tick, filling the quiet room with its rhythmic clicks. He stared up at the ceiling, his phone still on his chest as a smile grew on his lips. Patton didn’t quite understand what he was feeling, and he didn’t want to think about it. He sat up, looking at the black screen of his phone before getting up again and walking to his brother’s room. 

Opening the door, he could see Damien still curled in his messy bed. It’s an old habit Damien had where he would put the air conditioner into its lowest setting so the room would feel like it’s freezing. After that, he would find the heaviest blanket he could use and live under it for days. Patton walked across the small apartment bedroom to his brother’s bed, lifting the blanket and tucking himself against Damien.

“Hmh?” Damien gave a slight groan as his bed dipped behind his back. “Pat?” Damien uttered groggily, voice hoarse from lack of use.

“Yeah, it’s just me.”

“What are you doing?” Damien finally said after a long while of silence. He sat up, leaning against the headboard.

Patton looked up at his brother with an ever-growing smile. Damien gave him a questioning look, prompting his to speak. He gave Patton a suspicious glance. His half-asleep brain was unable to activate the so-called twin telepathy—though both Patton and Damien knew that wasn’t a real thing.

“He kissed me.”

“Wha—Logan?!” Damien exclaimed, eyes blown wide. All traces of sleep evaporated from his mind. “Give me your phone. I have to call someone. I need to tell him about this.”

“Who?”

“Roman and I planned to play matchmaker with you and your boyfriend—”

“We’re not—”

“—yeah, okay, whatever—we only wanted to do it cus’ you guys are frustrating to be around. But then, looks like we don’t need to do that anymore.” Patton visibly flushed after hearing his brother’s comment. He hid under Damien’s blanket only for the thick fabric to be ripped from his hands by an excited Damien.

“Get up!” Damien hopped off the bed. “I’m making breakfast.”

“Dee,” Patton called out to his brother, following Damien’s steady steps to the kitchen. “Have you read the letter yet? I mean with Remy.”

“No. Why?”

“Because,” Patton paused, leaning against the kitchen counter, “I wanna do it, but I also don’t wanna do it.”

Another silence hung over the room, only the clinks and clanks of a pan and plates in the kitchen. Damien sighed, putting the pan on the unlit stove and taking a few eggs from the fridge.

“No, yeah, I get it.” He cracked three eggs into a bowl and whisked it until it’s a little foamy, adding salt and pepper. Only then did he realize what he was doing. An omelette. He used to watch his dad make omelettes, but he never thought of making one himself. He sighed, putting the bowl down next to the stove. He turned, catching Patton’s gaze. “What do you think he wrote? It’s weird. No one write letters like that. Do you think he’s watching us now?”

“I don’t know, Dee,” Patton said with a side smile. “All I know, it’s not gonna be that bad… I think. I’ve already told Lo that we’re going out to read mine.”

“Aw,” Damien said with a mocking tone. He turned back to the bowl of eggs with a smile. “Precious Logan.”

“Dee!”

 

* * *

 

The sun was hanging high in the sky; the heat makes it as though the sun was casting an angry glare at the planet. It’s a glowing plasma ball—a star. He remembered when he first found his deep interest in space, astronomy and other outstanding phenomenons in the universe. It came to a surprise to both his parents since he wasn’t the most invested person when it comes to school or academics, a shocking fact to everyone who knows Logan now. He wasn’t born to be a genius; he chose to be a genius—or at the very least to be highly intelligent.

That noon, he had had another class for the day before he was free. Patton’s phone call earlier in the morning was short, but it left him with thoughts. What was written on the letter? Why was he supposed to read it with Patton? It was odd considering he never once met Patton’s father. He couldn’t get the thought out of his head. Another thing that have occupied his mind lately was Patton himself. His voice during their short phone call sounded so light that he couldn’t help but smile. Logan let the thoughts linger in his mind and for the first time in seven years, he felt the writings on the board in class were meaningless.

After an hour long lecture, he stepped out of class with a churn of his stomach. Logan found himself unable to stay still. His feet brought him to the park where he had agreed to meet with Patton. And there he was, sitting on a wooden bench. Patton had a sky-blue t-shirt on, paired with his usual white pants and shoes. A light grey collared shirt wrapped around his back, covering his arms perfectly, only revealing colorful bracelets on one of his wrists.

“Afternoon, Patton.” Logan dropped his bag on the bench. “It’s a sunny day, and you’re wearing a long-sleeved shirt?”

“It’s a thin shirt! Not hot at all,” Patton said with a beaming smile, so bright it rivaled the sun.

“So,” Logan started awkwardly, “tell me about this letter.”

Patton pressed his lips into a thin, pale line. He was still unsure about the letter. The thought of reading his father’s thoughts brought a wave of nervousness and Patton wasn’t certain if they will be good or bad. Not saying a word, he passed the blue envelope to Logan. Taking a deep breath, he finally answered.

“Mom said dad gave the letters to her six or so years ago. There were three of them, one for mom, Damien and me.” He paused. Patton had a sudden thought of how dramatic his father must have been to write them letters. “I was supposed to read this with you… so… I mean, it shouldn’t be bad, right?”

“Of course. Would you like to read it now?”

“Um, yeah. Can you read it out loud for me?”

 

_ Dear Patton, _

_ If you’re reading this, then I’m probably not there with you anymore. Don’t worry, I’m fine up here. I don’t know when you’re reading this, so the things I’m about to tell you to do, you might have done in the past. Or maybe not, who knows. It won’t be difficult, I promise. _

_ I know you, Patton. You are a person of compassion and sentimental. And know it isn’t a bad thing. I still remember all those years ago, the first time you made me cry of joy. I had put you on the floor with your brother and put three items in front of you. You were supposed to choose one, but you crawled onto my lap. I hadn’t realized I was a choice, too. I hope I have done a good job as your father and I know you will grow into an excellent man. Know I will always be by your side and that I will always guide you, even after death. _

 

Logan paused, digesting all the little things that were mentioned. He had, numerous times, told himself that emotions were not a weakness. Yet, he didn’t seem to understand that. Now, he started to see how his life so far had been guided by emotions—perhaps not his own, but what did it matter? If his mother had given up on him after divorce, he wouldn't have been the man he is. If he and Roman had not empathize with each other, he would have lost a valuable friendship in his life. And if he hadn’t let himself free, he wouldn’t be sitting across Patton. His life would be empty.

 

_ Note to Pat’s SM: Hello, I’m Travis. We might have met, but we might not have. I trust you. I know there will be challenges with your relationship (which is a given thing with any relationships) and it will have an impact in your lives. Don’t be afraid to remind each other to be a good person and value each other, whether it be romantically or platonically. We are not permanent beings on this Earth, and someday you, too, will be gone. When you don’t have anything left, you will only have each other. Please, take care of Patton and I know with full certainty that he will look after you, too. _

_ I have a few things that I want you to do (it’ll be fun.) _

  1. _Engage in each other’s interests/hobbies._
  2. _Answer these: What will you rely on each other most? What do you feel about each other?_
  3. _Do something that you used to do in your childhood, together._



_ Good luck! _

_ ~ T. Harvey _

 

The slow blow of the wind, the sound of rustling leaves in the distance became more clear amidst the silence. They could hear the laughs of children playing somewhere with their dog. Logan huffed a breath, finally taking his eyes off of the letter to see Patton looking right into his eyes.

“Are you alright, Patton?” Logan stood and sat next to Patton, ignoring his bag to sit alone on the opposite bench. “Do tell me what to do if you are feeling overwhelmed or if you need anything at all.”

“I’m… fine. Just thinking.” Patton tapped his fingers on the wooden table. There were many things to running through his mind, but his lips were sealed tight. “What do you think?”

“Well,” Logan started carefully, “It seems your father is very fond of you and your brother. And these questions… They’re terribly specific.”

Patton answered with a small smile, taking the letter from Logan’s hand, examining the loopy handwriting that Patton could only describe as “curly.” Reading it once again brought an odd sense of relief.

“Can I… I never really talked about him.” Patton glanced up at Logan’s watchful expression. “Can I talk about him to you? Kind of… helps.”

“By all means.” Logan bumped his shoulder against Patton’s gently with a rare-occurring smile.

“He was a fun guy. Mom always says that if you mash me and Dee together, it would be dad. He makes weird dad jokes and would laugh at his own jokes. Some of them were funny, actually. But also, sometimes when things don’t go his way he would keep quiet and not let anyone help him. That’s what Dee does, you know.” Patton smiled at the memories of his father that he cherished. “One summer when we were eleven, dad brought us to the backyard and we built a small tree house. We would hang out there all the time until we get bored of it. Oh, I should have brought you there.

“I hadn’t—I hadn’t expected him to go so quickly. I thought he’d have more time with us, y’know…” Logan noticed the glossy tears coating Patton’s eyes, not free-falling, but staying still. There was pain in Patton’s voice Logan could hear, but he wasn’t sure what to do. “He hasn’t even seen me and Dee graduate college. If he had stayed another year or two, maybe he’d see us become people who have a place in the world.

“He used to cook these omelettes every single morning. Dee and I hated it because he never made anything else and it gets boring sometimes. Now I miss it. I wish I had told him that I loved the little things he did for us. We were the center of his world, and he was ours.”

“Your father sounds like a great man. I wish I had the chance to meet him,” Logan said, offering another smile which Patton returned.

“He loved my mom so much. Do you think we can ever have something like that in the future?”

Logan was stunned by Patton’s innocently hopeful question. How could he, an emotionally inadequate man, ever make a ball of sunshine like Patton happy? How unlucky Patton must have been and it was tragic that Patton himself didn’t even realize. But if that’s what Patton wants… then he will have to try. He cannot let Patton’s flame of joy burn out.

“Well, I thought marriage would be too soon, but… would you, perhaps—just a mere suggestion—will you be my boyfriend?”

“Aw, Logie!” Patton whispered and smiled a thousand-watt smile with a pink tint crawling on his cheeks. “Thought you’d never ask.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm sorry for this lateness. Next week I will not be able to upload, because I have exams again. This one is terribly short, I apologize. I hope you love the Logicality, because this one was actually pretty difficult to write. I think Logicality is a massive challenge for me, so I'll have to flex my writing skills a bit. Anyways, hope you're excited as I am for what is going to happen next.
> 
> Suggestion: should I write Prinxiety or Sleepceit in the next chapter. I have ideas for both in mind, only a matter of writing them down.
> 
> Question: did you see Logan's question at the end there surprising? I thought it was quite obvious. Either way, I think it's fun.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this short read and get ready for the next one! See ya in the next one.


	43. A Klutzy Truce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A possible truce. Will it take them further?

“Ugh…” A groan rang through the quiet, empty apartment. Roman had been lying awake on his bed for two hours now, random thoughts drifting through his mind. “Geez, what day is this?  What time?” He mumbled to himself.

Nine in the morning, as his trusty alarm clock told him. He laid back on the bed. A minute went by. Two. Five. His phone buzzed under his pillow. Text message? A phone call. He stared at the unfamiliar number wearily.

“Hello… Roman here…”

_“I know! It’s Damien and I have news.”_ Roman could hear Damien’s voice sounding unusually upbeat.

“What’s happening? When did you get my number?”

_“Got your number from Pat. Anyway, he and Logan are an item now.”_

“What?!” Roman bolted up on the bed. He flung the phone onto the bed, jumping around the room like a child on Christmas. “Since when? Logan didn’t tell me, that _bitch!_ ”

_“I don’t know since when, I’ll ask later. Pat’s out with Logan right now.”_ Damien’s excitement had dulled back to his usual tone.  _“Anyway, I’m just telling you that. Thought you should know our matchmaking scheme failed. See ya.”_

With a click, the brief call ended. The room was unbearably silent after the thrilling news; only the sound of his slightly heavy breath was heard. _‘Logan… and Patton.’_ The thought circulated in his mind, going round and round until it lost its meaning. Funny thing, fate. He’d always thought Logan would be far behind him when it comes to relationships, be it platonic or romantic. In fact, he never thought Logan would ever engage in a romantic relationship. But to be fair, Patton is quite the guy. Of course, how could anyone resist dear Patton’s childish laughs and beaming smiles.

Roman was wrong, clearly. Logan was ahead of him. But of course, Roman knew this was no race. He still remembered the numerous brief flings he had in the past with guys and girls alike. None of them worked. Most of them are still his friends, yet he couldn’t help but feel a clench in his chest when he thought of Logan being happy with someone else. Was it jealousy? Perhaps. Who knew, because Roman surely didn’t. Years ago, when Logan’s parents went through divorce Roman was there for his best friend. Still, there was one thing different between Logan’s parents and his own. Roman couldn’t help but question why Logan could still have his father when Roman himself couldn’t. There was always something missing in his life and Roman was eager to fill that gap with something. _Anything._

He still remembered the argument he had with Virgil in the Harveys’ home. Virgil was… angry in a way he wasn’t before. Roman couldn’t understand. He had wanted to apologize, but Virgil didn’t seem to want any of it. Still, Roman wanted to right his wrongs, even to a person he didn’t want to know anything about. Detesting people, Roman realized, was tiring. It was easy to hate his father for whatever it was he did to his mother. But hating Virgil was different. Sure, he was somewhat annoying—the emo kid always had something to say—but there were other things that Roman had ignored for the sole purpose of disliking Virgil.

“Nooo…” He groaned, beating himself internally. It was stupid to ever think he’d ever get along with Virgil. It was stupid… wasn’t it?

Fear was an enemy. One that should be vanquished till the end no matter what. _‘Pathetic, pathetic! What am I doing?!’_ He’d failed. He’d failed on so many things, so many times. Where was his father when everyone else had theirs. Where were his accomplishments when everyone had theirs? He had no one to love other than his mother. For a long time, he thought it was enough, but he craved. He craved for something more; something bigger. What that was, he didn’t know. Logan had someone to love. Virgil could spin a tale in a blink, so far different than the countless hours of sleepless nights he wrote his original play—the one that failed.

A sigh. A deep one. A defeated one. What was it that he was supposed to do now? Sharp stings of guilt coiled in his chest. He was supposed to be happy for Logan, but why this? Perhaps he needed a breath of fresh air. Without a second thought, he took his phone and went outside, leaving everything behind for now.

 

* * *

 

The journal he had opened in front of him was a new one. A new journal filled with old stories. A new journal filled with distant dreams. Virgil had gone outside, trying to clear his cluttered mind, ignoring Remy’s concerned gaze on his way out. Of course, Remy had attempted to interrogate him after seeing his eyes darken. Certainly, he shouldn’t worry that protective cousin of his, but he didn’t care. Not now anyway. His feet wandered around the city, bringing him to familiar places. He had never gone to the park before, but he didn’t feel the need to go there, so he walked past it with heavy feet.

“What’s wrong, _doll?_ ” Rey had asked him that morning. Virgil thought he should spend more time with Remy. Yet, some part of him wanted to isolate and be alone. Some part of him couldn’t bury the sick, green feeling of envy. Ever since Remy met Damien, he didn’t seem to care about Virgil as much. At least that’s how Virgil saw it. He had ignored Remy’s question and walked out without a word.

Now, he was standing in front of an art gallery, the white marble carvings at the top read _Thallyorty Art Gallery._ He had wanted to take Remy to this place for a long time, but he would always forget. Walking inside through the massive twelve meter door, the rubber soles of his shoes met the clean marble flooring—a clash of two worlds. The bright hallways were lined with paintings of ages and sizes different from one to the other. The echoes of his steps accompanied his way to his favorite part of the building. A carpeted room—royal purple, fitting his aesthetic—with a full glass case on one side of the room where artifacts were kept. There were dark velvet chairs on one side of the room, hefty and soft—so much that it felt like he’d sink to the bottom. Throughout the room, there were more artifacts scattered—books, notes, writings.

And that was what he loved most about this place. The smell of old paper was masked by other scents, but it’s still there if he tried hard enough to find it. There were original writings displayed in glass box; stories of old, fairy tales and legends. Most of them were written by unknown authors, yet their writings rivaled those with grand names.

A tap on his shoulder. Virgil whipped his head back, eyes meeting a pair of familiar ones—ones that he never thought he’d like.

“What are you doing?” Virgil asked defensively, looking back at the glass box in front of him. Though, his concentration and focus were no longer there. “You could’ve walked away.”

“I didn’t want to,” Roman said calmly, walking around the glass box that housed four sheets of yellowed paper. “Of course you’d like this one. It’s a rather dark story, unlike the usual fairy tale filled with grandiose characters.”

“What would _you_ know about what I like and don’t?” Again, there was a certain venom lacing his words, but Virgil didn’t care. If anything, it would be better if Roman walk away.

“Well, just a guess.”

Virgil furrowed his brows in indignation and confusion. He walked away, approaching another glass box at the opposite side of the room. Roman followed him to his dismay. Again, he walked away, but Roman was always close at his heels. Virgil chose to leave the room entirely, walking into the empty hallway. Still, he could hear footsteps following him. He finally reached an empty hall, the ceiling five storeys high with glass ceilings letting a warm glow into the cavernous room.

“Stop it!” Virgil turned his body sharply and let out a furious growl, almost shouting. “Just—what are you—what do you want?”

“Let me talk to you.”

“Why should I do _anything?_ ”

“Just—please?”

Virgil was tight-lipped. Why? Why now, why ever? He could only stare at Roman in disbelief, ignoring the burning pit of fire in his chest. He tried his best to hold back the tears of anger threatening to fall. Roman had already apologized, so he shouldn’t have anything more to say. It really shouldn’t be so complicated, yet here he was, thinking about a hundred possibilities that he knew were absurd. Virgil flipped the hood of his patchwork jacket up, covering a portion of his face. He gave Roman a final sharp glare before turning to walk away.

“Hey!” Roman followed again, keeping up his pace and catching Virgil’s shoulder.

“Leave me alone!” Virgil flinched harshly, causing Roman to take a step back.

“Just this once. After this, if you don’t want to talk to me, I don’t care.”

“Fine,” Virgil answered almost immediately with a stern voice. There was a tremble in his voice, but if Roman noticed, he didn’t show it. Virgil hid his clenched fists in the pockets of his hoodie, giving Roman another solid glare. “Go ahead, say it.”

Roman took a deep breath, closing his eyes momentarily before exhaling again. “Will you let me buy you coffee or something? I hate talking to you when you’re all mad like that.”

The frown Virgil wore on his face loosened for a split second before returning. “Whatever,” he said harshly, turning his gaze away from Roman. He reluctantly trailed behind Roman, walking to the opposite end of the gallery where a small cafe sat on the third floor.

The cafe was situated at the edge of the building with glass walls on one side acting as windows overlooking the city. There was a glass door on the other side going into the building. It was warm outside—as Florida always was—but the breeze carried with it cool air blowing against their hair. Roman looked completely different under the sun, Virgil noticed. His tan skin almost glow, making the subtle bumps of muscles across his arm stand out. _‘Stop it. You’re angry at Roman,’_ Virgil lectured himself, choosing to look out to the city.

“What do you want?” Virgil spared Roman a cautious glance before looking out to the distance once more.

“Can we just call a truce now? It’s tiring, Virgil. I don’t want to hate you.” Roman sipped at his ice coffee absently, following Virgil’s gaze to the horizon. “It’s easier to be friends.”

Roman was met with silence. He glanced over at the boy sitting across him. Virgil was looking at him with a neutral expression, as if there was something else going on in his head. He waited for an answer—anything—but none came.

“Am I supposed to take your silence as a yes?”

“What—” Virgil stopped himself. _‘Be rational, Virge. Don’t fight.’_ He bit his cheek, shoving aside the nervous energy building up in him. “What do you want to do?”

“Start from the beginning?” Roman reached inside his pocket, pulling out a piece of paper. The crumpled paper had tiny tears at the edges. He inspected the writing on the paper: a name and a sentence. “Why didn’t you write anything else?” Roman flipped the paper to show Virgil his own handwriting—his _hour_ note.

“I—uh, I panicked,” Virgil answered, rubbing at his neck in slight embarrassment. “To be fair, your note isn’t that great either.”

“Yeah, okay. Let’s not talk about that right now,” Roman said with a hint of regret hidden behind his words. “Sorry.”

“Why _did_ you write a note? I mean, clearly you didn’t want to be found.”

“Hm, yeah, I panicked,” Roman answered in a mocking tone, though it was all to break the ice.

“Wow,” Virgil deadpanned. “You really _are_ the worst.”

“ _Excuse_ me? I’m the best of the best there is, thank you very much. Not like you’d know.”

“Course’ I wouldn’t know. You never show your “best of the best” quality.” Virgil did his best impression of an extravagant Roman—a bad impression is still an impression. “Must be a fake.”

“You are an atrocious actor. That is an insult to the arts!”

“Well, _you’re_ an insult to the world.” Virgil smirked at Roman’s offended expression. “What were you even doing here? I knew what _I_ was doing.”

“What was I doing in an _art gallery?_ Can’t you see I’m a real work of art?”

“Huh… no, I don’t see it.” Virgil suppressed a sarcastic grin as Roman let out a series of offended noises. Looking off to the distance again, he let his hood conceal his face from Roman’s view. He spared Roman a few quick glances, finding Roman’s gaze fixed on him. He tried to ignore it, yet he could still see Roman’s intense gaze from the corner of his eyes. “What are you looking at?” His voice unintentionally harsh.

“Sorry, I was just thinking… Logan and Patton are a thing now.”

“To the surprise of nobody. They’re basically married.”

“Can we go somewhere else now?”  Roman tipped back his cup of coffee, emptying it into his throat in a matter of seconds. Virgil could only look in bewilderment and slight disgust. “It’s getting boring up here.”

“We just got here, dude,” Virgil retorted, face still contorted in a disgusted expression.

“Okay, but it’s boring.” Roman stood and walked towards the door leading into the gallery, leaving Virgil who was still sitting.

“Dude! You gotta pay, _pridurok!_ ”

 

* * *

 

They exited the gallery with awkwardness following their every step. Virgil still had his hood up, hiding for comfort. _‘Weird,’_ he thought to himself. There was something not quite right about Roman—not that he would know, since he knew next to nothing of the guy. Yet, he could sense a certain uneasiness that he couldn’t understand. He continued to follow Roman, always a distance away behind.

Not too long, they found a short metal gate. From a distance, it looked as though rust had eaten the metals away, but looking closer it became apparent the copper plated gate had played a trick on their eyes. Roman pushed the gate, its hinges moved with a slight groan. A small dirt pathway led deeper into shades of trees—the leaves small and sparse, but the trunk towered strong and thick. Where they were, Virgil had not the slightest clue. The place reminded him of the willow tree behind the campus ground he so often visit.

“What are we doing? Where is this?” Virgil tried to keep his voice steady. The tree had grown thicker and denser around them, yet the sun still filtered through the thin canopy, making the place seem less threatening. “You’re not… gonna, like… kill me? I mean, it’s a great spot to commit a homicide, since the place is secluded, there’s no one around. If anyone screams no one would hear and it would be weeks before anyone finds the body.”

“Oh, relax! Why don’t you stop being so dramatic?” Roman pushed his hands across a thick bush and struggled his way past it, revealing a small wooden cabin surrounded by thick bushes. “Dramatic is my brand, not yours.”

“Um… what is—”

“Good question!” Roman gestured his hand wildly towards the wooden structure. “Logan and I built this a few years ago when we were in high school. Parents were… not the best, so we escaped and made our own little sanctuary!”

“Uh-huh… And I assume Logan did _most_ of the work?”

“Um, I am _just_ as useful as the nerd, thank you very much,” Roman said with a raised brow, patting his bicep absently. “Heavy lifting.” He turned towards the cabin, missing the roll of Virgil’s eyes.

“And why are we here?”

“Just… need somewhere quiet to… talk?”

“We coulda just stayed in the coffee shop, dufoss!”

“You can stop the insults now and sit.” Roman patted the space next to him where he sat on the precarious porch of the little wooden house.

Virgil only walked a few steps closer, not sitting, however. First of all, while he was not a germ freak, the wet moss covered almost every inch of the wood—except the spot Roman sat on, of course, because Roman wouldn’t like to share. Secondly, there was no way in hell that he will sit less than three feet away from Roman. The actor, on the other hand, thought nothing of it.

_‘What is he playing at?’_ The cogs of Virgil’s suspicious mind were spinning its usual rhythm. It’s impossible that Roman doesn’t hate him like he said. The guy screamed bitterness from every corner of his being.

“Okay, let’s agree to disagree: the whole thing about soulmates is botched.” Roman went straight to the point, a stark contrast from his usual talkative self. “It’s not real, so let’s just… start over.”

“Start over how? The first time we met, it was at a supermarket and you were a huge dick!”

“Okay, look. Just… Alright. Hi, I’m Roman Cascales.” Virgil took a hesitant step back in surprise as Roman suddenly gave him a charming smile which made him rather uncomfortable. He ignored the sudden warmth on his cheeks and looked on with bewilderment. “I was born in Spain and my parents moved here when I was two. This prince is twenty years young, and I assure you, is a worthy friend. And, _si,_ _hablo español,_ but I don’t do it often.”

“Uh… what the hell was that?”

Roman deflated in an instant. He rolled his eyes, huffing a short puff of breath in slight frustration. He wished Virgil would understand. He was, however, glad that being an excellent actor meant he could hide the slight shake of his hand or distract the sole audience with his usual dramatic self. He gave a small smile, pumping a little bravery into his eyes to wipe any trace of annoyance. Of course, there was nothing else besides annoyance.

“I did say we were starting over, didn’t I?” Roman boomed, his loudness dampened by the trees surrounding them. Virgil looked around them, spotting the busy street not too far off to the side behind the cabin. Why didn’t they just take that route instead of walking through bushes and trees? “Your turn now, _tormentito._ ”

Virgil squinted, drawing his brows closer. This could not possibly be serious. There must be a trick hidden somewhere. He wasn’t going to play along. Still, Roman waited through gritted teeth.

“Ugh…” Virgil let out a groan. “Virgil Dudnickov, nineteen. Half-Russian, half… something else, I don’t know. Born here. There, happy?”

“Not really, but okay. By the way, are you gay?”

“The fuck?”

“I mean, if you’re not then we _might_ be platonic soulmates. That’s much, much easier, don’t you think, _emo nightmare?_ No burden whatsoever.”

“So, I’m a burden otherwise?” Virgil hid the flash of hurt in his eyes with a duck of his head, thankful that his hood offered much needed protection.

“So…” Roman trailed off awkwardly. He pressed his lips into a thin line. “Truce?”

“Whatever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we all know that writer's block is a pain, exams are a hassle (but sadly necessary) and procrastination is an enemy. I had to face all of those all week. Lucky, since I had exams the whole week, that means my school days are short. I managed to get this one done. I kind of liked it, but it went a little awkward in the middle. Either way, I hope you liked it. 
> 
> I don't know why it took this long for me to get these two to (somewhat) get together, but I tried. As some of you know, this story isn't too well thought out from the beginning, so it's a long story. Hope you don't mind that and stick till the end. Hope it doesn't get boring.
> 
> Q: What do you think will happen to these two? How do you think these two will work things out? As you can see, they are quite insecure and have a whole lot of misunderstandings.  
> \---  
> Russian stuff (I don't usually make Virgil speak Russian, but hey it was fun):  
> придурок  
> pridurok  
> [moron; idiot]  
> \---  
> Spanish stuff:  
> Si, hablo español  
> [Yes, I speak Spanish]
> 
> tormentito  
> [storm(y) - diminutive]


	44. Doubts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damien gave Remy a surprise visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD); emotional rifts  
> This chapter will have a depiction of PTSD, read at your own discretion. Do provide some feedback regarding accuracy or reader effect.  
> Russian translation written in the end notes.

Damien had been walking around the apartment all morning. He had made seven rounds in the kitchen, twelve in the living room and walking in and out of the bedrooms several times as well. He had taken off his shirt, too, leaving it stranded on the floor of the living room. After Patton told him about his plan of reading the letter with Logan, Damien couldn’t get the thought of his father’s letter out of his head. He didn’t want to read it, mainly because he didn’t know what to expect and didn't want to see what his father had left him. And _why_ did he have to read it with his soulmate?

He and Remy had an odd moment a few nights ago in the tree house. There were things he wanted to say, but Damien didn’t feel safe. Not because Remy was threatening. He didn’t want to lie to Remy, but he didn’t want to push his soulmate away either. If he told Remy the things he wanted to say, Remy might back away. This was the first time Damien was not _truly_ alone. He finally had someone—a friend. The letters didn’t help the agitation building up in his mind. He stopped his track in front of his bedroom. Whether he wanted or not, he will have to read the letter eventually.

He wasn’t sure what to do, but he did have a small plan. He quickly ran to retrieve his abandoned t-shirt and shrugged on his usual black bomber and beanie. The letter was still in the pocket of his jacket, Damien realized. Getting his phone from the kitchen counter and snatching the keys by the door, he was out in a flash. Now that he knew where his soulmate lived, he could pay Remy a surprise visit. He only hoped Remy was there when he came.

He had thought of driving to Remy’s, but it was only a few blocks of walking. Besides, it was sunny outside. When he was little, he’d wished he lived in New York or somewhere where snow would pour down from the sky. That way he could build snow-friends to play with. He could enjoy the freezing weather even though he had a very low tolerance of cold places. He thought being able to play in the snow must be fun. In the scorching Florida, there was no snow, but there was plenty of the sun. He never understood why people always shouted _“wake up. The sun’s shining!”_ What did they think he was supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Twenty minutes later, he was standing in front of a dark wooden door. _‘Number 708… Yep.’_ He raised his hand hesitantly, pressing the doorbell without another thought. He could hear the sound of shuffling feet before the door cracked open. A pair of jade eyes peeked through before the door flung open.

“Oh, it’s you, _babe._ ” Remy leaned against the door frame. He tilted his head to one side in question. “What are you doing here?”

The first thing Damien noticed was Remy didn’t have his sunglasses and jacket on. He had seen Remy without his shades, of course, but it was still a rare sight. Without them covering half his face, Remy looked much younger—which Damien thought was an odd thing to notice. And without his brown leather jacket, he could see Remy’s figure more clearly. Another thing, he could see the dark circles under Remy’s eyes. Dark purple like deep bruises.

“Hey, when was the last time you sleep?” Damien asked, still standing outside awkwardly since Remy had not invited him inside.

Remy stiffened at the question. He pressed his lips tightly, making it appear as a thin, white line across his face. In truth, Remy didn’t quite remember when the last time he slept. It had to be a few nights ago, but the night terrors had become much, much worse—more than he could handle. The night after they went to the Harveys’ home had to be the worst. He didn’t remember the dream exactly. It had been a fractured sequence of events; things he could remember from the past. The fear was too much for him to risk slipping into slumber. He had consumed much caffeine in the past few days, substituting much needed sleep.

“Last night…?” Remy answered, cursing himself for sounding hesitant.

“Really?” Damien retorted in scepticism. He peeked into the apartment through the crack of the door, not seeing much. “You’re not letting me come inside, are you?”

“I—um, well…” Remy took a glance at the living room of the apartment. The floor was lined with old newspapers, splashes of paint here and there. His old easel stood in the middle of the room, though the canvas faced the other way. “Okay. Come in, _moy milyy._ ” He shut the door behind him after Damien walked in.

It was odd, he thought. He had never felt threatened by Damien’s presence before, but seeing his soulmate walking in his living room brought a feeling of unease. Is this how Virgil feels all the time? No wonder his cousin always jumps at the smallest things. Perhaps it was the paranoia, combined with lack of sleep which made him unable to think clearly. Remy stood by the door, unmoving. His mind was screaming at him, _again._ The last time someone came to his place, things didn’t go well for him. But of course, of course, Damien wouldn’t do anything like that… right? He took a step back, then another and another until his back met the wall. No, no, no, this was a bad idea. It was a bad idea to let Damien inside.

Damien had been looking at the painting, a frown growing with every second. Something was wrong. The painting was of a white string, pulled apart at the middle. Remy had done a great job painting the small details of the frayed tips of the strings where it had been tugged forcefully until it broke. The odd thing was, there were red spots on some parts of the string—some dripping.

Speaking of, where was Remy? He looked up, eyes scanning the room before finally spotting Remy a distance away right by the entryway. He approached Remy, who was cornering himself to the wall.

“Remy?”

Remy jumped at the mention of his name. Damien was standing in front of him. Since when? He tried moving away, but there was a wall behind him. _‘No, no, leave me alone. Leave me alone, please.’_ He didn’t dare look Damien in the eyes. Or was this Varden? _‘Leave me alone. leave me alone!’_ Still, every alarm and siren in his head that had been dormant came to life. He needed to get away.

“Damien?” Remy’s voice was unusually timid. “I—I think you—you should leave…”

“Why?” Damien tried catching Remy’s eyes to no avail. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing. Please, just leave.”

“Talk to me, please.”

“No, I can’t.” Remy choked on his words. Too much. Everything was too much. “Just go,” he said in a whisper. “Please, just go.”

“Remy, please, what’s wrong?”

“Leave me alone!” Remy shouted, his voice echoing in the empty apartment. His hand flew to his face, slapping his mouth shut as his eyes blew open.

Damien had taken a few steps back in surprise. _‘What the hell did I do? Did I do something?’_ Remy was looking at him with apparent terror in his eyes. The dark shadows under Remy’s eyes made him look weaker—almost fragile. Damien ripped his beanie off as nerves consumed him. What was he supposed to do now? He couldn’t possibly leave Remy like this.

“I’m sor—I’m sorry!” Remy said with urgency and horror. “I didn’t—I swear I didn’t mean to shout at you. I—don’t be mad, please. Please, don’t hurt me. Don’t hurt me.”

“What? No, no, why would I do that?” Damien took a step closer.

And that was it. Remy was back to two years ago. Standing in his house, home alone with Varden standing in front of him. _He_ was furious. Remy must have done _something._ He couldn’t remember what it was. Whatever he did, it must have been bad, because why would Varden hurt him otherwise? Whatever he did, he knew he deserved a punishment.

“Don’t… _ne delay mne bol'no…_ ” Remy said weakly, unaware that a distressed Damien was standing in front of him. “ _Ne delay mne bol'no._ ”

Damien was at a loss of what to do. He came to visit to read the letter, but _boy_ did the universe gave him a surprising present. He reached a hand slowly, trying to give a reassuring touch on Remy’s shoulder. But it seemed his touch only made things worse as Remy flinched quite harshly, body quivering. He could see that Remy’s eyes were glazed over, and he didn’t know what else to do. He couldn’t understand what Remy was muttering.

“ _Ne delay mne bol'no. Proshu, ne delay mne bol'no._ ” Silent tears started to fall. Varden is so close. _So_ close. He had to get away! Why hadn’t the blows come yet? “ _Proshu, ne delay mne bol'no. Ya sdelayu vso, chto skazhete, no pozhaluysta, ne delay mne bol'no._ ”

“Remy. Remy, please.” Damien tried gaining Remy’s attention only to be met with more muttering. “Remy, you’re scaring me. Talk to me. Don’t cry, come on, it’s okay.”

Damien reached both his arms out this time, gripping Remy’s shoulders and ignoring the harsh flinch of his body. He pulled Remy into a tight embrace, hoping to snap Remy out of whatever it was that consumed his mind. Remy’s screams and cries rang through the apartment, and still he held Remy tight. He didn’t let go until the squirming stopped.

“Hey. Hey, okay, you’re back. You’re here,” Damien said as he pulled Remy closer, not knowing what else to do. “God, you scared me.”

“Let me go, please…” Remy sobbed, trying to pull away. His legs buckled as soon as Damien let him go. He leaned back against the wall, hugging his stomach and continued to let out strangled sobs. His vision blurred with heavy tears, body convulsing as more violent sobs broke free of his throat.

Damien cautiously took Remy’s hand, leading him to the couch of the living room. He ran to the kitchen, getting a glass of water and offered it to Remy.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Damien whispered again. What else was he supposed to do? His hands squeezed the beanie he had in his hand, feeling the soft texture of the fabric. He then thrusted his beanie into Remy’s hands, not sure what he expected Remy to do with it. To his surprise, Remy buried his face into the soft wool, taking a deep breath.

Damien. It smelled like Damien, Remy thought. He inhaled once more, feeling calmer as each second passed. He peeked through the fabric, seeing Damien looking at him with concern. He leaned back on the couch, burying his face even deeper into the black beanie.

“What happened?” Damien scooted closer on the couch, though still putting a fair distance between them.

Remy only shook his head, not wanting to say anything for now. In truth, he wanted to stay in Damien’s embrace. It felt safe and comforting. But he didn’t know if he could trust Damien. He wasn’t going to risk anything to find out. Still, he wanted someone to give him a hug and tell him everything was good. He was tired of keeping everything inside. It had been two years and still, no one knew about Varden—only a handful of trusted friends back in Russia.

“Why did you come?” Remy mumbled his question.

“The letter. But we’ll talk about that later. What happened to you?”

“I don’t know… I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay… do you—do you want me to leave now?”

“No!” Remy said almost immediately. No, he didn’t want to be alone. “No, sorry. Unless you want to leave.”

“I’m not leaving if you don’t want me to.” Damien scooted closer again. “What do you need? Do you want me to do anything?”

“Just read the letter. I need a distraction.”

To Damien’s surprise, Remy moved closer, not leaving a gap between them. Maybe he needed comfort. He took the yellow envelope from his jacket and opened it carefully. He started reading the letter out loud, but keeping his volume low as not to overwhelm Remy.

 

_Dear Damien,_

_You may know that once you read this, it means I am no longer there with you. There are many things you have yet to learn from me, but sadly I had to leave. This is the last thing I’d like to say and a few things I want you to do. You might have done some of the things I will ask you to do. Maybe not. I’m not sure when you’re reading this. I do hope I’ve done a good job as a father to you._

_I see myself in you (and I’m sure your mother have said the same to you.) You hide secrets; I don’t know why. You always say you’re not afraid of being alone, but I can see you don’t like it. Don’t hide. You’ll hurt yourself, and it’s going to be ugly. I know you will grow to be good, but I hope you can be more open. Especially about yourself._

 

Could he do that? Live a life with honesty. He was as familiar to lying as he was to the English language. Then of course, he wouldn’t want Remy hiding things from him. Especially not big things that could harm each other. He glanced over when he felt a weight on his shoulder. It was odd having someone lay their head on his shoulder. Even Patton had never done that to him.

 

_Note to Damien’s SM: Hello there, I’m Travis. We might have met or might not have. I know this will not be easy for you or Damien. He’s a tough nut. There will be challenges but you both have to be strong to go through it. Don’t hide away from each other. When the world falls apart, you will only have each other. Care and value each other with all you have, romantically or platonically. Remember you will need each other in life. Please, take care of Damien, and I know he will fight for you. Literally._

_I have a few things that I want you to do:_

  1. __Engage in each other’s interests/hobbies.__
  2. _Answer these: What do you see in your future together? What would you be like as a romantic pair? Platonic?_
  3. _Share a harmless secret with each other._



_Good luck!_

_~ T. Harvey_

 

They were silent, trying to understand what Travis tried to say. The note directed specifically to Remy was interesting. At least to Damien it was. Before he could think of anything else, Remy shoved his face onto his shoulder, slowly soaking it with more tears. He shifted, taking Remy into his arms again, but this time there was no resistance. He pulled Remy closer, ignoring the wetness of tears soaking through his jacket. Damien wasn’t one for physical affection, so his attempt at comfort was terribly stiff and clumsy. He took his jacket off, draping it across Remy’s back as a mini blanket.

“Remy,” he whispered into Remy’s hair. “What do you need?”

“Just stay,” came the answer spoken through tears and sobs. “Don’t go.”

 

* * *

 

Remy had fallen asleep on his chest. Not that Damien minded. It was such a curious thing how Remy was absolutely horrified at the sight of him earlier, but trusted him enough to fall asleep on him. He’d never seen Remy like that—cowering in fear and crying. He much prefers the sassy and witty Remy he knew. He kept his arms around his soulmate, not knowing what he could or should do. He had been asked to leave and then asked to stay.

He had felt differently about Remy, and it was difficult to admit even to himself. Damien thought their flirty banter had become something else. He didn’t know how to show he cared. And seeing Remy broke in tears had been terrible that he, too, had wanted to cry. He threaded his fingers gently through Remy’s auburn locks absently. Perhaps it was time for him to be honest to himself. He couldn’t lie to Remy about anything, so he had to be honest to himself first.

“Damien…” Remy whispered, furrowing his brows.

“Yeah? I’m here, what’s wrong?”

Slowly, Remy opened his eyes finding himself leaning against Damien. He tried to move away, but Damien pulled him back. He let out a relieved sigh as Damien laid a hand behind his head, as if protecting him from the world. He still had Damien’s beanie clutched in his hand. He brought it to his face again like before, inhaling deeply.

“You really like that beanie, don’t you?”

“It smells like you.”

More silence. But this was unlike any other silence they’ve shared in the past. It was not an awkward and unpleasant silence, but rather a comforting one. Different thoughts swirled through their minds, but none came to stay.

“Day?” Remy called, voice hoarse from the crying he’d done before. “There’s a list in the letter right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“What’s it say?”

Retrieving the letter from the table, Damien read it slowly. “First, engage in each other’s interests or hobbies. Second, answer these: what do you see in your future together? What would you be like as a romantic pair? Platonic? Last, share a harmless secret with each other.”

“What harmless secret do you have?” Remy asked after gathering his thoughts. He closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of Damien’s fingers threading through his hair.

“Well, I can share you my thoughts on what I think about my soulmate,” Damien said with a smile. He thought if he could act as if nothing had happened, it would cheer Remy up.

“Do tell.” Remy let out an amused huff, nuzzling his face on Damien’s chest. “Give me the juicy secrets, too.”

“Okay, let’s see. I think he’s super talented. Art isn’t my thing, so seeing him draw and paint stuff is fun. Plus, he’s good at it.” Damien smiled at Remy’s weak giggle. “He’s a pretty cool guy, I think. Super sassy and sarcastic, too, sometimes. I like it.

“And—and, uh—I think, um… I think he’s—he’s pretty cute.” Damien ignored the rising heat climbing up his neck and face. “He calls me nicknames in his native language that I don’t know the meanings of. I just hope those aren’t mean nicknames.”

“Trust me. They’re not mean, _sweetie,_ ” Remy said, poking Damien’s cheek.

“Good. I like my soulmate a lot. He makes me feel human, if you get what I mean.” Damien smiled when he saw Remy giving him a shy glance. “Aw, you’re blushing like a rose.”

“Shut up.” Remy laid his head back on Damien’s chest. There was something shifting in his chest; he didn’t know what. Maybe he wanted this. He felt so secure in Damien's arm and he was sure Damien was nothing like Varden. Then again, Varden was incredibly kind and charming at first. He still remember how Varden talked to him the first time they were together.  He didn’t know what went wrong, but he felt that it was all his fault. It was his fault that he couldn’t make Varden happy.

“Day, I can’t do this.”

“Do what?”

“ _This._ I can’t, like… It’s just not possible.” Remy forced himself to sit, suddenly distancing himself from Damien. He didn’t know what he wanted. “I’m just—I don’t want it!”

“What—what do you mean?” Damien steeled himself, trying to hide the sudden ache in his chest.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m scared.” Remy looked away, wincing at the look of hurt written across Damien’s face. “Not of you—well yes, of you. It’s just—”

“Remy, look at me.” Not a single response. He put two fingers under Remy’s chin gently, tilting his head to meet his eyes. “Listen, dear. I’m not going to hurt you. Whoever did that to you can go to hell. I’m _not_ going to do anything you don’t want me to do. And—and yeah, I _don’t_ know how this works, so we can… we can just… take it slow. We can just be friends if that’s what you want.”

“And what do _you_ want, _moy milyy?_ ”

“For you to be okay? For you to not be hurt. I’ll take what I can get. You were the _first_ person besides Patton that’s ever treat me like a decent human being. I’m not letting you go, Remy.”

“Just stay, then."  Remy leaned back into Damien’s embrace, nuzzling his head against Damien’s chest. “Don’t go.”

“Okay. I’m here for you, dear.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this was quite a chapter. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did while writing it. At least now we know what Remy and Damien's relationship might look like in the future??? I don't know, actually. Clearly, the secrets they both have had not been discussed yet. But it was really close, though. Do read the Russian translation written below, as it is the most heart-breaking thing about this whole chapter.
> 
> Q: What is going to happen to Remy and Damien now? The two did seem like they're closer now, but is this going to continue?  
> \---  
> Russian stuff (feel free to kill me):  
> мой милый  
> moy milyy  
> [my precious; my dear]
> 
> Прошу, не делай мне больно.  
> Proshu, ne delay mne bol'no  
> [Please, don't hurt me; Don't hurt me, I beg you.]
> 
> Я сделаю всё, что скажете, но пожалуйста, не делай мне больно.  
> Ya sdelayu vso, chto skazhete, no pozhaluysta, ne delay mne bol'no.  
> [I will do anything you say, but please don't hurt me.]


	45. ANNOUNCEMENT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One month break.

Since I will be having another wave of exams next week, starting from 3rd of May, I won't be updating anything here. I'll be off until the very end of May and should be back by early June. I'll see if I can still write and update, but if not then I'm off all the time.

I'm sorry and I hope you all understand. I promise I will come back for more chapters to fill in this story. Thank you!  
If you have any questions you'd like to ask, leave them in the comments and I will answer them!

See ya!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! Thank you again for reading. I hope you liked it.
> 
> *shoves you to the comment section* So, umm... this is my first ever writing project of any kind, so... I hope maybe you could leave a feedback down there in the comments section?
> 
> Your comments always spur me to write more and your feedback means a lot so I can improve and make better stories/chapters for you lovely readers to enjoy! However, if you choose not to comment, that's also fine!!!
> 
> LOVE ALL OF YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE!!!
> 
> p.s. English is not my first language so there might have been some mistakes throughout the story, but hey, I'm improving!!
> 
> more p.s. I might not be able to respond to all of your wonderful comments, but just know that they help me and I love them.
> 
> Check out my new story (if you're interested). It's called Father, you can find it [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16017953)
> 
> ~ AJ


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